Sam was sitting across from Kevin at the desk when Dean and Lily walked in. He looked up and made eye contact with Dean before turning back to the book he was reading. Dean sat the books we was carrying on the desk and turned to Lily.

"It's a little crowded in here. I'm gonna go spend some time with my car... make sure she's running the way she should be."

"Dean..." Lily whispered.

He leaned over and kissed her gently. His way of effectively ending the conversation before it even began.

"Anybody need anything?" he asked. Sam kept his eyes on the book. Kevin and Lily both shook their heads. "I'll be outside if you need me."

Lily grabbed Dean's hand, stopping him. She really didn't want to try to talk about it in front of Sam and Kevin, but Dean was running from his issues with his brother, and she knew that wasn't good.

"Dean, we need you in here."

"No, you don't," he said with a grin. He gave her another quick kiss.

"We want you in here."

The grin faded from Dean's face as he glanced over at Sam, who still hadn't looked up from his book, then he locked eyes with Lily again. "No, you don't. I'll be outside."

Lily pulled another chair over to the desk. She took the pen from Kevin's hand and pulled the notebook in front of her. Kevin seemed surprised and just stared at her.

"It was easier for you when we did it this way, right?" she asked. Kevin just nodded. "Okay," Lily said. "Let's do this."

Several hours later, Lily demanded that everyone take a break and eat. The demanding came when both Kevin and Sam insisted that they didn't need a break.

"I'm going to make us all sandwiches. When I call you two to come eat, you'd better come."

Sam let out a chuckle. "Yes, ma'am."

Lily called for the guys and made a face when Sam walked into the kitchen without Kevin.

"He's coming," Sam said. "He only has a couple more lines in the section he's working on. He wants to finish it."

Lily sighed, and she and Sam sat down to eat. They sat quietly at first, but Lily eventually broke the silence.

"You know, I keep telling Dean that you two need to talk, but I'm not taking my own advice."

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't leave here on the best of terms, Sam. I felt like you abandoned us."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just... I had to do something for me. I thought my brother was dead, and seeing you so adamant that he wasn't just made it worse. It didn't feel like hope... It felt like denial. It made the pain worse. It made me miss him more, and I couldn't handle it. I mean, do you realize how many times I've lost him? Or almost lost him? Think about it. The car crash with dad, the time he electrocuted himself and messed up his heart, the time loop that the trickster put me in where Dean died right in front of me over and over..." Sam paused and took a breath. "When he went to Hell... All those times. I tried. I looked for ways to make him better, or to bring him back, and I never could. Nothing I tried ever worked. And I knew what was happening then. I knew what I was up against. When Dean disappeared this last time, I had no idea what happened to him. So, yeah... I ran. I had been down the road you were headed, and I couldn't do it again."

Lily had listened quietly. Tears slowly built in her eyes. She reached out and grabbed his hand, resting on the table.

"Why didn't you just tell me this then?"

"Part of me was hoping you'd prove me wrong. I didn't want to take your hope away."

"Please tell all of this to Dean."

"He won't listen," Sam said, pulling his hand away.

"You know, you two are more alike than either of you realize. Stubborn asses, the both of you."

"Hey..."

Lily stood and threw her paper plate in the trash. "I'm sick and tired of your macho attitudes. One of you had better take the first step."

Lily was headed out of the kitchen when Dean walked in the front door. She didn't like the look on his face, but Sam, who had followed her out of the kitchen, beat her to saying anything.

"You look like you've seen... Well, I was gonna say, 'You look like you've seen a ghost,' but you'd probably be stoked."

Lily walked over and put her hand on his chest. "Dean, baby, you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, hesitantly, "I'm fine. But, uh... I did kinda see a ghost."

"You 'kinda' saw a ghost?" Sam asked.

"I saw Cas. Standing in the line of trees at the edge of the property."

"What?" Lily knew what this meant for Dean. "Where is he?"

"I don't know. I... I saw him while I was working on the car. I looked up... I blinked, and he was gone."

"That's... not possible," Sam said. "I mean, you said it yourself. You made it out and he didn't, right?"

"I tried so damn hard to get us the hell out of there." Dean took a few steps away and Lily was right on his heels. She grabbed his hand.

"I know you did, baby."

"You know, I could have pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder."

"Dean," Sam said. "you did everything you could."

"Yeah, but why do I feel like crap?"

"Survivor's guilt?"

"Hmm."

"If you let it, this is gonna keep messing with you. You gotta walk past it."

Sam clapped Dean firmly on his shoulder before he walked away. Lily would have smiled if Dean weren't hurting. It was the first sign of normalcy between the brothers since their reunion. A step in the right direction.

Kevin came out just a moment later. "Sam told me I should come eat before you call me a stubborn ass, too."

Lily laughed. "Come on."

"Too?" Dean asked. "Who else is a stubborn ass?"

"The men in this house."

"Me?"

"You especially?" Lily turned her attention back to Kevin. "What time did you get up this morning?"

"I don't know."

"Don't lie to me, Kevin."

"About three," he said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Alright. No more tablet for you tonight."

"I want to get this over with."

"See," she said looking at Dean. "Stubborn. All of you."

"The kid's right. The sooner he translates, the sooner this is all over."

"He's not going to drive himself into the ground to get this done. In the long run it's not good for anyone. You need sleep. You need food. I'm gonna make sure get it. End of story. Now, if I see you with that tablet tonight, I'll take it from you and clobber you with it. At least then you'll sleep. Got it?"

Kevin looked to Dean, his eyes a bit wide. "Don't look at me. She'd do it."

"And how long did you sleep last night?" she asked Dean.

"Hey, I'm not a kid."

"Your usual four hours, right? Up all night driving?" When Dean rolled his eyes she had her answer. "That means Sam only slept that long, too."

Lily walked out of the kitchen and Dean followed her. He stopped in the living room, even though she kept walking.

"Where you going?"

"To tell Sam that study time is over."

Dean walked back into the kitchen shaking his head. He grabbed a water from the fridge and sat at the table with Kevin.

"She'd make a great mom," Kevin said. "She's got the tone down pat."

Dean's face fell as the memory of the baby they lost came back to him. He hadn't thought about it in so long, it was almost as if he had forgotten. But he hadn't. Not really.

Kevin noticed the look on Dean's face. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Dean said, snapping out of his thoughts. "No, you didn't say anything wrong. It... It's kind of a touchy subject though. Look, just... don't tell her that. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm gonna watch some tv."

Dean carried his water to the sofa, grabbed the remote, then plopped down. He wouldn't admit it, but Lily was right. He was tired.

"Maybe I am a stubborn ass," he thought with a chuckle.

When Lily went back into the living room, she was happy to see Kevin watching television with Dean. She was also happy to see that Dean had water instead of beer. She gathered her pajamas and went to take a shower. When she done, she found that Sam, also fresh from a shower, had joined Dean, but Kevin was gone.

"Where's Kevin?"

"I sent him to bed," Dean said. "Kid was falling asleep on the sofa."

"Good," she said as she sat close to Dean. "Why don't you go shower so we can go to bed?" Her voice was at a whisper so that Sam couldn't hear.

Dean smiled at her, then gave her a quick kiss before heading to the bedroom. Lily looked toward Sam. His eyes were drooping as he sat watching television.

"Hey, sleepy," Lily said loudly. Sam jumped a little and Lily couldn't help but laugh. "Why don't you head off to bed, too?"

Sam rubbed at his eyes with the heel of his hand. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

He said goodnight as he walked up the stairs. Lily turned off the television and sat in the silence for a moment before getting up. She made sure all the doors were locked, turned off all the lights, and went into the bedroom. Dean was still in the shower, so she removed her clothes and climbed into bed to wait for him. The only light came from the lamp on the bedside table.

She found herself dozing off until she felt Dean snuggle in close behind her. She smiled when she heard him groan. His hands lightly traveled over her body, his fingers tracing every curve.

"Is this why you insisted on everyone going to bed? If I'd have known I wouldn't have bothered with the boxers."

"No," she said with a chuckle. "We all need rest."

Dean pulled her hair back, and gently pulled her shoulder down so he could kiss her neck. "There won't be much resting going on in here. Not for a while, now, anyway."

"I just wanted to feel you against me."

"You're gonna feel me inside you," he growled against her neck.

Dean removed his underwear, but stayed at Lily's side. She turned to face him, and their legs intertwined. They kissed and touched for a long time, just feeling and enjoying each other. Lily was the one who moved it to the next step. She pulled Dean's earlobe lightly between her teeth and whispered in his ear.

"I want you inside of me."

Dean was more than happy to oblige, though he took his time. Long, slow strokes built the tension in both of them until Dean could no longer keep the slow pace, and they both found release.

They lay holding each other again. Dean on his back, with Lily at his side. With her head on his shoulder, her back was to the window. Dean could hear rain.

"Sweetheart, do you mind if I open the curtains?"

"What for?"

"There was no rain in Purgatory. When I got back, I got caught in a rainstorm. I realized how much I missed the rain... It's one of those little things, you know? I just like watching the rain."

Lily kissed him. "I don't mind."

Dean got out of bed, pulling on his boxers. He opened the curtains and stood there for a moment. Lily watched him as he watched the rain falling. He seemed at peace. The moonlight shone on his face, enhancing his strong features, causing Lily's breath to catch.

"Hey, gorgeous," she said, causing Dean to turn around. "It's getting lonely over here."

He smiled and got back into bed, pulling Lily close again. She kissed his chest as she lay her head against his shoulder, and heard him sigh.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

Lily slowly drifted off to sleep. She was awakened by the loss of Dean's body. She sat up, looking around the room, and saw him standing at the window. The rain had stopped, and the peace she had seen on his face before wasn't there.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"I saw Cas."

"Where?"

"Just outside the window."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. There was lightening... he was there, then he wasn't."

"Come back to bed, baby. Get some sleep."

Dean walked to the edge of the bed and sat, staring at the window. "Why am I seeing him?"

"I don't know." Lily rubbed her hand over his back and across his shoulders, wishing there was something she could do to ease his guilt.

Dean climbed back into bed, this time with his back to the window. Lily held him close as he wrapped his arms around her. She kissed his head and rubbed her hand up and down his back.

"Get some sleep," she whispered.