Their moans only give me the comfirmation I needed. They are all hurt and in pain and Anya wants me to help them, she wants me to fix my enemies so they can all come after us when I'm done. The thought makes me sick, but
the feeling
is quickly replaced by the doctor instincts I poses. I start looking around more closely. In the faint glow of the light that hungs over the door I can see that not all the people are soldiers, fighters. My face turns to a little boy who's holding his stomach to death and I lean towards him, ready to touch his sholder, but a strong hand stops me.
"Leave her. She is here to help." Anya tells the man
who is
holding my wrist with so much force I'm sure my hand is gonna feel sore for days.
Ok. She wants my help. But shouldn't I ask for something in return? Then I remember I'm not in the position to put conditions or make deals so I'm just freeing my hand from the man's grip, leaning over to the boy in front of me. He must be around 5. 6 seems too much for the angelic eyes looking straight at me, with curiousity and so much fear.
"Hey. I'm Clarke. Do you speak English?"
He takes his eyes from me, looking at his father, searching for the right answer, and then the kid's eyes meet mine again, nodding in approval.
"Ok then."That's good, I'm telling myself, grateful. This way it will be easier to see what's going on with him.
"So… can you tell me how you feel?"
"Bad. Very, very, bad." His voice comes out only as a whisper and I want to open my mouth again, ask him something, but he speaks before me, this time more articulated.
"Dad says I'm going to die." At the boy's world I instantly spoon towards his father, wondering how can someone tell a 5 years old that he is going to die but as I look into the man's eyes, I see so much pain that I simply decide to drop my question. He turns around and leaves. This kid can not be dying. I'm not gonna let that happen, I tell myself as I'm kneeling in front of him. His abdomen is very rigid, and a woman comes closer to tell me he has been vomiting for days now and I check again, realizing his feaver must be over fourty.
"He needs water. Fresh water." I try to sound convinging, make the people understand that this isn't about me, this is about them.
I turn back to the kid, but he is passed out.
"Now!", I yell, not caring about what they think of me anymore. They are not going to ever see me with good eyes anyway. Just as I am not going to see them.
Someone finally brings some water in a pot.
"I need a towel, rag, anything…" I speak again, not addressing to someone in particular, as Anya and Finn stand behind me, watching my every move. I'm laying on the ground, massaging the kid's stomach. He is having a very bad unthreated stomach flu.
"For how many days has he been like this?"
"A few." Anya answers my question that heads towards a young woman with red hair, that looks very pale and very pregnant.
"After you finish there, come here."
I nod and return to my patient, rubbing the wet rug on his face, trying to wake him up. The truth is I can't do much for him, because the stomach flu will eventually pass if not today, than tomorrow for sure. He opens his eyes and I'm turning towards Finn, motioning him to come and help me.
Lefting him in charge of the little boy, just to simply makes sure he takes a few sips of water every minute, I'm getting up to go and check the pregnant woman. Anya is sitting by her bed, watching me. The sweat on the woman's forhead tells me she's already in labor and there's not going to be much time before the baby will come.
"Are you past eight months?" I ask codly, trying not to let my secret sympathy for the woman be sensed.
"Oh yes. It's the ti…Ahhh" she stops in the middle of the sentence, screaming. "Ok." , I take a long breath, looking around. "Ok…" I repeat again, trying to calm myself down. I've never assisted a childbirth, my mom thought I was too little and it could scare me, but the time eventually came because here I am.
"I'm gonna need hot water and two clean towels. You do have towels, right?" I ask Anya who simply nods, turns out and leaves, with other 2 women following her.
"My sister is just scared for me. Don't mind her bad manners" the woman tells me, trying to smile but her mouth clenches in pain when another contraction rushes over her.
I don't say anything after that, only thinking about how I might get killed sooner than I thought if this woman is the leader's sister and she is in my hands to take care of. But soon I have hot water near me, three towels actually and another young girl ready to help me any time. No one in the room speaks, but some of them moan in pain. I've also asked for scissors and alcohol to sterilize them and now we are just silently waiting. Realizing that I could see some other patients until the the baby is coming, I stand on my feet, ready to leave, but the woman's screams are more powerful this time and I know it's time.
After another endless hour of cries and screams, the baby finally entered this horrible world. It was a girl and the mother seemed very surprised, telling me she and her husband were so sure it was going to be a boy, and then I made the mistake of asking where is he. The glance she gave me was full of hatred and pain, and without her having to say it, I understood.
"He was on the bridge…" I murmured, imagining just how many families our bomb destroied, and how many kids were left without a parent.
I don't have the right to even want this people's trust, and they would be idiots to give it to me, to any of us. Anya's words from our first meeting are playing in my head over and over again. "You started a war that you don't know how to end.", she was right, and now that there's no one left to save us, we will have to save ourselves, make things right, slowly but for good.
The mother is holding her tight in her arms and my lips curve into a small smile. And then I go to see other patients, always asking for water, or tea, or alcohol and if I ask for mint tea, or eucalypt, or honey, they seem to don't mind, always bringing everything I ask, and I can only be amazed by how many food supplies they must have. In the past few hours I've been getting knives out of people's chest, I've been treating infections and making sure to comfort every single one of them, because that is what my mother always told me, to make my patients feel safe and me, trustworthy.
Finn comes from time to time to help me, but he is only disturbing me, so I decided to tell him to leave back to the camp, assuring him I'm going to be fine and very busy, I even tried to joke about it, but he just looked at me, worried, without even faking a smile. As he didn't seem to want to leave, I asked for Anya, who simply said he should have been gone by now but he can stays if he wants, and her ignorant way of saying those worlds made me realize that I can trust her on that. She is not going to send her men after him to kill him, because she doesn't care. All she cares about are these people, her people, and for me to help them.
Afte arguing with him half an hour, the first light of the new day was washing over the camp and he remembered about Raven and decided that maybe it's better to go.
Now I'm just kneeling by one of the beds, cleaning an injury that one of the men got when he went haunting. The woman staying by his bed tells me they brought Tris back, and that she is very good now, she even managed to speak. And at those worlds the thought of me spending the night taking care of my enemies didn't sound so bad anymore. I smiled back, then turn and leave to ask someone for more water.
Back at the camp, Bellamy was patrolling since 5 in the morning. He couldn't close an eye all night, knowing that Clarke was captured by the grounders and he couldn't do anything about it. She is probably dead, he kept telling himself, thinking that this way it will be easier to move on and to accept that the princess is gone. He was very aware of the risks he took when he send her and Finn in the woods and he knew Spacewalker is even more of a girl than she is but he did it anyway, because he believed here everyone is going to do hard work, no matter if they are the princess or not, but he was stupid and now he is going to have her on his consciousness for the rest of his life.
It must be past nine, because the first glimpse of sun was falling over the camp, waking people up.
He was about to go and wash a bit when he heard Miller calling his name.
"Not now, Miller!" he screamed back, dropping his gun and getting ready to wash his face, but Miller called his name again, so he dumped the water and went to see what the hell that boy wants.
"Someone's in the woods."
Bellamy gazed around , searching for any kind of move or sound, but nothing happened.
"Give me that!", he said, taking the gun from Miller's hands.
However before he got the chance to position himself, Finn came out of some bushes.
"Spacewalker? What the fuck?" He dropped the gun off his sholder, surprised.
"Open the gates!" he yelled at 2 of the guards.
After Finn got in, they closed them again, but everyone gathered around to see the miracle, Spacewalker - alive.
"Hell, I was ready to bet you're dead." Bellamy said, amazed. Finn looked fine, except for some leaves in his hair.
"Yeah, well, I'm not."
"What a joy…" Bellamy added sarcastically, smirking.
"But what about Clarke?" a girl, Fox, asked. Murmurs started in the crowd, everyone having an opinion about where she is, if she is alive or not.
"Where's Clarke?" Bellamy asked Finn, this time with a serious dead look.
"Relax…She is with the grounders. But they aren't hur…" Finn didn't get to finish his sentence because Bellamy grab him by the shirt in a second, screaming in his face like a lunatic.
"RELAX? You left her there and come to tell to relax?!"
But Octavia came quickly, trying to calm her furious brother.
"Bell… calm down."
And only when he felt his sister's hand on his sholder he left Spacewalker's shirt, but not before pushing him back enough to loose his balance for a few seconds.
"She is helping them. And they didn't hurt us. They just need a doctor." The words came out rushed, because Finn was scared that Bellamy is going to loose his temper one said anything so he decided to go on and talk at his own risk.
"They will probably let her go too after she is done. There were a lot of hurt people and she helped them. She also helped a woman give birth. Those people needed help..", he said, trying to sound convincing, but hell, nothing seemed to change the look Bellamy was giving him, like he is a dead man.
And he left like a dead man, because he left Clarke there when he should have stayed with her and they could've get back or die together.
But Bellamy calmed down a bit, only so he can have a decent talk with Finn. He needs to know what's going on, but without the whole camp assisting their conversation, and the possible death of Spacewalker.
So he turned towards him, making him understand that they have to talk, it's about the princess' life, for God's sake; then left to the dropship, with Finn following him.