Reference to and dialogue from: 'The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem'; 'The Vartabedian Conundrum'; 'The Gorilla Experiment'; 'The Excelsior Acquisition'; 'The Hofstadter Isotope'
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Leonard glanced at Sheldon as the latter opened the door to the lobby.
"I can't believe you have a…whatever this is," he said.
"I wish you'd be more noun-specific. It's irritating," Sheldon replied as the men entered the building.
Just then the elevator opened and Penny emerged.
"Hey guys," she said amiably.
"Hi Penny." Leonard stopped to talk with his neighbor as Sheldon went to the mail box. "Where are you off to?"
"Apparently my cheque didn't clear so I have to make the car payment in person."
"While you're there you might wish to inquire about your engine," Sheldon said in passing as he flipped through the mail.
"Anyways," she said pointedly after a quick glare in Sheldon's direction. "I'm off." Penny went to the door before abruptly turning around. "Oh, yeah, it's Monday. Could you order a pad thai for me? I didn't make it out for groceries."
"I'll let Ramona know," said Sheldon as he pulled out his phone.
"Ramona?" asked Penny.
"A graduate student I met today. An intelligent labradoodle. She suggested we get together for a meal and discuss my work."
Penny was shocked. "So it's a date?"
"There is no expectation of coitus," explained Sheldon. "It's only a man and woman getting to know each other over dinner." Penny looked at Leonard who simply shrugged. "Now do you want a small or standard order pad thai?"
"Forget the pad thai," Penny said quickly. "I, uh, just remembered there's a Subway near the dealership."
"Alright." Sheldon stepped into the elevator followed by Leonard.
"Have fun," she said.
"We'll be discussing my work. How could I not?"
The doors closed and Penny was alone in the lobby.
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"Not again," moaned Leonard as Raj, Howard and he rounded the corner in the cafeteria to see Sheldon working furiously away at his research while Ramona was arranging the food on his platter in the order of consumption.
"And so returns the red-haired goddess," gushed Howard. Leonard snorted.
"Yeah well you can have her," he said. "She's been at the apartment Wednesday and Thursday and I've got a bad feeling I'll be seeing her tonight."
"Well it's polite that we see her now," Howard prompted. "Besides, Sheldon likes routine and it's customary that we eat together."
The three scientists made their way to the lunch table.
"Hey, Sheldon," Howard said amiably. In response he was greeted by a scowl from Ramona.
"Dr. Cooper is working," she scolded.
"But it's lunch time," Leonard replied. "He's got to take time to eat."
"And he is," she sniffed. "By standing in line for him I've saved twenty minutes a day which he can direct towards research." Here she furrowed her brow. "But you're right; he has to eat so he can't be distracted by inane conversation. If you're going to stay you have to be quiet."
The three men looked at each other before moving off to another table.
"So how long do you think this is going to last?" asked Raj.
"Hopefully not long. Sheldon's already missed Halo night and movie night as it is. Without a routine I'm afraid he'll go positively bat crap crazy. Not like I'd have an idea what it'd be like living with a crazy roommate," said Leonard with a roll of the eyes.
"Nothing's an absolute," Howard reminded him. "There's really no limit to how crazy Sheldon could get."
Ramona giggled and the group turned to see Sheldon playfully thrust a fork in her direction.
"Who'd imagine Sheldon Cooper would have a girlfriend?" said Raj.
"Especially since he'd been immune to Penny," mused Howard. "Of course, Penny offers more of the boom-shaka-lacka-boom-boom while Sheldon lacks a deal."
More giggling drifted over from Sheldon's table.
"He might not be playing with a full deck but believe me he's dealing," Raj amended.
Leonard shook his head before biting into his sandwich.
XxX
Penny glanced at the split screen and grinned widely.
"Sheldon, it's not Halo. Quit hiding behind the tree," she said.
"I'm not hiding, I'm stuck," he growled in reply as he did his best to reverse the car. A final spin of the tires and Mario was back on the raceway.
"Who knew he'd have problems steering around inanimate objects?" smiled Leonard as he looked over his book to see the carnage on the screen. "You're doing pretty well, Penny."
"The steering wheel's kinda fun to use," she replied. "I mean it makes it easer than driving on a laptop." She turned her head to Sheldon and winked.
"Amusing, I think not," he said through pursed lips.
Penny made the last turn and her car crossed the finish line.
"And the winn-ah, Penny the Penguin!" she cheered. "Wanna go again?" Sheldon checked his watch.
"As much 'fun' as this has been Ramona's coming over."
"Ah."
"What he means is that he has to put away the game system before she sees he's actually enjoying himself," Leonard interpreted, garnering a glare from his roommate.
"I'm getting a lot accomplished," Sheldon said crisply as he turned off the game box and proceeded to wind the controller cord around the wheel.
"Well, I better skedaddle," Penny said as she got up from the computer chair. "I'll see you around."
There was a knock at the door and Sheldon grabbed the controller from Penny and practically threw it into the box before darting to the couch and putting his laptop on his thighs. Leonard rolled his eyes and put a bookmark in his book before getting up and proceeding to the door.
"Hello, Dr. Hofstadter," Ramona said before stepping inside. She set the bag of Chinese food on the side shelf so she could slip off her shoes and spray her feet. "Hello, Dr. Cooper."
"Shh, working," Sheldon mumbled. Penny could see the twitch on his face as he did his best to concentrate on the computer screen.
"Oops, sorry." Ramona padded to the kitchen and set the food on the counter. "Well, we'd best nourish your body to feed the mind. Of course I didn't bring enough for anyone else since I thought we'd be alone."
"Just leaving," Leonard said as he slipped into his shoes. He grabbed his keys and Penny followed him out the door.
"Wow, she's intense," Penny said. "So what do they do all night?"
"Either Sheldon works on his projects or else they talk about physics." Here Leonard chuckled. "If this keeps up I'll have to invoke the live-in girlfriend clause of the Roommate Agreement." He caught a strange look on Penny's face. "I mean, if he was interested in her. Which he's not. Well, I don't think he is."
"This is good for him," Penny said thoughtfully. "Good. For. Sheldon." She gave her neighbor a stiff smile. "See ya later."
"Goodnight Penny," he replied as she entered her apartment.
Leonard cocked his head in thought before shaking it dismissively and began walking down the stairs. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed.
"Hello Raj? She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed ordered me out of the apartment. … Okay, be there soon." He hung up and then chuckled to himself. "If I spend any more time at Raj's I might as well be his live-in girlfriend."
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Oh no…. Penny inwardly sighed as she saw Sheldon and Ramona waiting for the elevator as she entered the lobby.
"…How can the holomorphic data W and f be computed exactly for type II backgrounds from the underlying 2d theory on the stringworld-sheet?" asked Ramona.
Sheldon tutted. "Obviously the result would include an in general infinite series of stanton corrections. In particular, the world-sheet instanton corrections to the effective action often describe the effect of genuine space-time instantons in the four-dimensional theory. The reason is—" Over Ramona's shoulder he noted Penny about to ascend the stairs. "Penny?" The waitress stopped and turned towards him. "You didn't check your mail."
"I'll do it later," she replied and put her foot on the first step.
"But you always check your mail when you come in from work," he persisted. "Suppose you have something time-sensitive?"
"Maybe I have to go to the washroom so I don't have time," she snapped. Sheldon raised an eyebrow.
"Then why are you taking the stairs?"
Penny sighed and stepped over to the couple.
"So you're Ramona," she said with mock cheer. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Funny, I haven't heard a thing about you," the red-headed graduate student said crisply. Both women turned to Sheldon.
"Elevator's here," he said with a twitchy mouth and stepped inside. The two women followed and he pressed the floor button.
"I read the draft of your latest paper," Ramona breathed. "The idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity with mirror-symmetry, I have to tell you I found it physically exhilarating."
Penny rolled her eyes.
"Yes, the non-perturbative superpotentials for the Cooper theory coupled to gravity break supersymmetry dynamically, in accordance with a previous paper where I discussed supersymmetry breaking by gaugino condensation," Sheldon replied.
As the elevator rose Penny took in his words, most of which she didn't understand but that wasn't the point. It was his authority that had that wowed her. Gone was the Sheldon who knocked on her door in threes and obsessively cleaned his hands. In his place was Dr. Sheldon Cooper and he was—intimidating.
The doors opened at their floor and the Nebraskan all but flew out of the elevator and to her door.
"Penny?" She turned to the blue of Sheldon's eyes. "Will you be eating with us tonight?" She caught Ramona's glare.
"No. Have a good one." Penny opened her door and darted inside, leaving her neighbor to stare at her door.
"Dr. Cooper?" asked Ramona. "We'd best order now so you don't experience digestive distress."
He nodded slowly. "Of course."
A moment later they stepped into his apartment.
XxX
Leonard woke up and reached over for his glasses before slipping out of bed. He went to the washroom and then proceeded to the kitchen for a glass of water.
"Leonard?" came Sheldon's voice from the couch. In response the shorter man nearly dropped his drink.
"Why are you sitting here in the dark?" he gasped.
"I couldn't sleep. At first I thought it was something physiological in nature but my temperature and blood pressure are normal. My bowels evacuated on time and my stool consistency was—"
"Tut-tut-tut-tut! Don't need to go there, Sheldon."
Silence.
"Maybe you're working too hard and can't relax enough to sleep," offered Leonard.
"I have been working a lot," conceded his roommate. "We haven't shared communal meals or participated in extra-curricular activities."
"Ramona's made it quite clear not to disturb you." Leonard swallowed some water as he debated whether to continue. "Sheldon, have you had a relationship with a female before?"
"Of course. Aside from my mother and Meemaw there's Missy, my cousin—"
"Non-familial female."
"Well there's Penny."
"I was meaning in a romantic capacity."
"Oh." Sheldon made a face. "Of course not. Why would you even bring it up?"
"Well it's just an observation but you're spending an inordinate amount of time with Ramona: she's over every night and on weekends and you eat together and work together and, I don't know, doesn't that kind of describe a girlfriend slash boyfriend dynamic?"
"Psh. Ramona is not my girlfriend. Or friend for that matter." Sheldon took a moment to think. "She's most certainly not a colleague. No, she's a devotee. Someone who praises me and caters to my needs and allows me to work in relative peace whereas Penny has been one distraction after another and…."
More silence.
"Sheldon—"
"Perhaps I should forego warm milk for an antacid."
"Give it a try," Leonard said. "Though I don't think it'll work." He rinsed his glass and set it in the sink. "See you in the morning."
Leonard walked down the hall and around the corner, leaving Sheldon to his own thoughts.
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The elevator door opened and Penny got out just as Leonard stepped out of his apartment.
"Oh good!" she said urgently. "Leonard, my car won't start and I'm going to be late for work."
"No problem," he replied. "I was just going to Raj's for Halo so I can drop you off."
"You're a peach." The pair got into the elevator and descended to the lobby.
"So where's Sheldon?" Penny asked nonchalantly.
"Where else? In with Ramona." Again the physicist thought he caught a weird look on Penny's face but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.
"Man that's a lot of science stuff. I caught them talking about it in the elevator the other day. It sounded pretty intense," said Penny as the pair exited the building and went to Leonard's car. "Something about using a super mirror to find gravity."
Leonard thought for a moment before a smile came to his face.
"You mean mirror-symmetry. Yeah, Sheldon's been working with gravitational posits to see if he can come up with an overall theory that would incorporate—" He glanced at Penny and read her blank stare. "Not important." He popped the locks and they got in his car.
"Leonard," she said shyly. "Do you think you could teach me a little physics? I mean it doesn't have to be a PBS special. It's just so I can understand what Sheldon's doing." Out of the corner of her eye she caught Leonard staring at her. "I mean I'm his friend, right? And physics is a big part of who he is and what he does so I should know what he's doing."
"His work is pretty complex," Leonard warned as he started the car. "Did you take any science in high school?"
"I did the class with the frogs." Here she smiled proudly. "I gutted that thing like a deer."
"O-kay. Well, remember when I told you he was working with subatomic particles on projects involving the early universe?" He pulled out of his lot and onto the roadway.
"That's what mirror-symmetry is all about?"
"Mirror-symmetry is a…kind of tool that physicists use for doing calculations in string theory," Leonard explained as he drove. "It can do a lot of jobs and Sheldon is using it to work on gravitational properties."
"So mirror-symmetry is like a multi-head screwdriver and Sheldon's using it to take apart gravity," Penny said tentatively.
"Basically. It's obviously a lot more complex than that but it's a good place to start," he said cheerily.
"I just don't get how you guys can talk about stuff like this like it was normal speak. I mean you all have to be geniuses."
"I do have an I.Q. of one hundred and seventy three." Leonard smirked. "Not as high as Sheldon but I get by."
"Huh." Penny bit her lip as she looked out the side window. "I guess you have to be pretty smart to get a phd in physics."
"I guess."
"Ramona must be smart to talk with Sheldon."
"There's a difference between talking with him and collaborating with him."
"Does he like her?" she asked casually. Leonard looked through the rear view mirror and noted her expression was stone.
"I don't know," he said honestly.
"She's so possessive she's practically a stalker," growled Penny.
"Actually being a stalker would imply that she followed Sheldon which she doesn't since that means she'd have to leave his side to do so," Leonard said with a grim smile.
Penny scowled. "Why isn't he doing anything about her? No Halo. No comic book store."
"No paintball. No Star Trek."
"Get out of town!" she gasped.
"Apparently all of this has been distracting him from 'greatness'."
"Bullshit." A pause and then she growled. "He was great as he was. Now he's practically a robot."
"Howard's already convinced Sheldon is a robot," chuckled Leonard.
"He's kinda whacked but he's got feelings," Penny said. "He's been alone a lot so I think it kinda messed him up." She pursed her lips. "Ramona's making him worse not better."
"I completely agree. He's starting to have problems sleeping and he's talking less when we're alone. He's always on edge as if Ramona's going to jump out of the refrigerator or closet and punish him for having fun." Leonard shrugged. "Not my kind of relationship."
"I just wish he'd say something. I mean he has to be uncomfortable with the way things are going." Leonard made to speak. "And his feelings are just as important as hers."
The car pulled into the Cheesecake Factory parking lot.
"Just tell him that their relationship needs to move at a pace that both of them are comfortable with," she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
"You sound like you've got a handle on this. Why don't you tell him?"
"Because I'm a female friend and it wouldn't sound good coming from me," she said neutrally. "Thanks for the lift, Leonard."
"No problem." He waited until she was inside before driving off.
Leonard thought over their conversation and gave a loud snort.
Penny was Sheldon's female friend alright.
And she most definitely wasn't a gay one.
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Penny crammed what clothing she could in the washer. Tips were short in the past week so she had to dig through pocket lint to do one load of wash. Fortunately the four other tops she tossed into various washers were left on the folding table so she was already ahead of the game.
"Hi," said Ramona as she came to stand next to Penny carrying a laundry basket of clothes. "Are you using the other machines?"
"No," Penny replied. She tossed in a scoop of laundry detergent and closed the lid before sliding in the money.
"I'm surprised you're not out partying. I mean, you seem the partying type."
"Sometimes people can surprise ya." Turning to the graduate student Penny noted that Ramona was putting an assortment of brightly colored t-shirts and plaid pants into the machines. "Where's Sheldon?" she asked.
"Dr. Cooper is upstairs working. It's silly for someone of his stature to be doing his own laundry."
"Alrighty then." Penny put on a false smile. "Well, you have a good night." She turned to go.
"I see how you look at him."
Penny stopped. "Who?"
"Dr. Cooper," said Ramona. "Don't get me wrong, I completely understand. He's handsome and brilliant. How could you not want him?"
"He's my friend," the waitress said crisply.
"Oh, okay." Ramona measured a scoop of soap before depositing it in a machine. "That's good to hear. Especially since he really is out of your league."
"I'm not interested in Sheldon." A frown came to Penny's face. "And what do you mean he's 'out of my league'?"
"It's obvious," Ramona said sweetly as she measured another cup of soap. "He's a brilliant physicist, one of the brightest of his generation, while you're a server of some sort given your uniform from the other day." She dumped in the soap into another machine and then turned to Penny. "Look, I'm not saying this to be mean. Dr. Cooper is on the verge of something great and doesn't need to be distracted by silly wastes of time." She returned to measuring out soap.
"So what's exactly a silly waste of time?" Penny said, now thoroughly annoyed.
"You know, video games, comic books, science fiction television shows—"
"Hanging out with friends, chatting with neighbors," the Nebraskan said sarcastically.
Ramona closed the lids and slipped the money into the machines.
"I'm glad you understand." She picked up the basket and with a stiff smile exited the room.
Penny waited a few minutes before following since she had the itch to throw Ramona down the elevator shaft.
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Sheldon and Ramona stepped out of the elevator at his floor. While it was handy that the graduate student had her own car Sheldon found that she wasn't the best candidate for car games. She'd all but put a kibosh on any subjects not science-related and Sheldon longed for even one rousing game of 'list George Lucas' egregious 'corrections' to the original Star Wars trilogy'.
He fished out his keys from his pocket and put the correct one in the lock. His hand froze as the sounds of laughter came from Penny's apartment. The high pitched cackle of his neighbor made him wince but it was the other laugh that caused his jaw muscles to stiffen.
Leonard.
"Is there something wrong?" asked Ramona.
"Of course not," Sheldon replied with a twitchy mouth. Just as he opened the door Penny's door opened and a giggling Penny and Leonard emerged.
"Oh, hey Sheldon," chuckled Penny. "Been a while." He opened his mouth to speak.
"He's been busy," Ramona said firmly.
The Nebraskan ignored the comment and stared fixedly at her friend. "I haven't seen you out. No paintball. No kite flying." Sheldon seemed taken aback that she knew about his Sunday afternoon jaunts to the park.
"He's been working on symmetries in quantum field theory," Ramona explained.
Penny folded her arms across her chest. "Well as fun as that sounds I'm sure there's plenty of other things he could be doing."
Ramona took a step towards Penny that the Nebraskan mirrored.
"Nothing this important," growled the graduate student. "In fact Dr. Cooper wrote that science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives."
Penny looked to Sheldon who cast his gaze to the ground.
"Whatever floats your boat, Dr. C." She turned to Leonard. "You going over to John and Yoko land or you wanna hang here?"
"Here's fine," Leonard said quickly. "We can order a pizza." Penny entered the apartment and he smiled at Sheldon and Ramona before following and closing the door.
"Physics, physics, physics," mocked Penny as she stomped off to the washroom. "You know Leonard, forget what I said about wanting to learn about it," she said loudly as she washed her hands.
"Don't give up on it," Leonard said earnestly. "It can be confusing and at times beyond frustrating but in the end it's worth it."
"Yeah, well maybe I'm not a physics kinda gal." She returned to the living room with a smile. "But I am a pizza one."
"Whatever my lady desires," Leonard said amiably as he pulled out his phone.
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Penny flopped on the couch. She was flat broke. Fourteen hundred bucks to overhaul her engine.
"At least the check engine light isn't on," she chuckled. Penny closed her eyes and groaned as her head rested against the couch back. "What the frak am I gonna do?" Rent was coming due soon and she was going to be short. She wasn't even going to think about her cable bill. Penny sighed. Then there was her nephew's birthday coming up and she had nothing to send him. The only thing was she didn't want to be the loser aunt that didn't get him anything.
She heard the sounds of Leonard, Raj and Howard chatting in the hall and an idea struck her. Penny bounced off the couch and quickly opened her door.
"Hey guys," she said amiably. "Where ya off to?"
"The comic book store," grinned Leonard. "Stan Lee's going to be there."
"Stan Lee? Really?" she mock gasped.
"You have no idea who he is," chuckled Howard.
"I'm gonna guess he does something in the comic book line but, yeah, I'm just reaching at this point," she winked. "But anyways it's cool you're going there because I was hoping you could do me a favor and pick up a couple of Spider-Man comics for me."
Raj whispered into Howard's ear.
"No, you're not having a stroke," the engineer said. "Penny asked Leonard to buy her comics."
"They're for my nephew, smartiboots. It's his birthday." She looked sheepishly at her neighbor. "You mind if I pay you later? I just got my car fixed."
"No problem," Leonard replied. "Hey, you know what would be cool? Get an autograph for your nephew. He'd go bananas over it."
"It doesn't cost anything does it?"
"Nope. The only thing is that you can only get three things signed."
"That sounds good," Penny smiled. "Could you get one for me?" She noted Leonard's mouth twitch.
"Sure, I guess. I mean I already have three comic books for him to sign but I guess I could—"
"Forget that. Let me get my purse and we'll go." She turned to fetch her purse from the couch and then returned to close and lock her door. "So we're all going to fit in the car?"
"There's only four of us," replied Leonard.
"Isn't Sheldon coming?" The three men stared incredulously at her. "Oh yeah, what was I thinking?" She glared at the door to apartment 4A. "This is stupid," she growled. "Leonard, can you pick something out for me to have him sign for Sheldon? Something really cool."
"Sure."
"Oh, and get another comic for you. My nephew only needs one autograph and I've one to spare."
Leonard grinned. "I'll be right back."
He opened the door and haphazardly sprayed the bottoms of his shoes before darting off to his room. Penny stepped onto the mat in the apartment. Sheldon sat in his spot typing away on his laptop while Ramona had herself snuggled in Leonard's chair doing her homework.
"Hey Sheldon," Penny said cheerily, more to annoy Ramona than to reflect her mood.
"Hello Penny," he replied.
"So you're not coming out to meet Stan Lee?"
His mouth twitched. "No. Apparently I'm making terrific progress on my research and can't be distracted." Sheldon looked to Ramona who smiled. Penny rolled her eyes.
"O-kay. Well if you ever decide to go back into biology instead of making fish glow maybe you could spend your time growing a pair and doing what you want," Penny said sarcastically as Leonard came down the hall.
Sheldon cocked his head. "Growing a pair of what? Flippers?"
"A little lower," said Leonard as he crossed the living room.
"Gills?"
"Keep going." Leonard and Penny left the apartment.
"Why would Penny want me to grow two tails?"
Sheldon caught Ramona's disapproving stare and went back to his work.
XxX
"Hoo-ray, we're finally inside the store," sighed Penny after spending forty five minutes in a line outside the comic shop. "I guess a lot of people heard of Stan Lee. Who is he anyway?"
As one every guy within earshot turned to stare incredulously at her.
"Name me a song in last week's Top Ten," Penny snapped. The guys all went back to what they were doing.
Leonard leaned towards Penny and dropped his voice. "In collaboration with several artists like Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko, Stan Lee co-created Spider-Man, the Hulk, the Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Thor, the X-Men—"
"Okay I heard of X-Men and Spider-Man," said Penny. "I just thought they were movies." She sensed eyes turning towards her again. "Who's the Black Eyed Peas?" Again the stares vanished.
"Wow, hey Penny," said Stuart as the comic shop owner came over to their place in line. "I'm surprised you're here."
"How couldn't I be? I mean he's Stan Lee: co-creator of Spider-Man and the X-Men," she said enthusiastically. Howard and Raj chuckled as Leonard dropped his jaw.
Stuart looked around. "I see no Sheldon. Still assimilated by the Borg Queen?"
"Resistance is futile," said Howard.
"As we speak her little drone is busy clacking away on the computer," sighed Leonard.
"That's too bad," said Stuart. "And I'm not just saying that because Sheldon is a great customer. That reminds me do you still want me to hang onto his comics? It's been three weeks and while one meal a day's better than none I still wouldn't mind having breakfast once in a while."
"Ring them up separately and I'll take care of it," said Leonard.
"Terrific." Stuart smiled awkwardly at Penny. "Do you have something for Stan to sign?"
"Yeah, Leonard gave me some comics. One's going to my nephew, one more to Leonard and the other for the whackadoodle sitting at home on the couch."
Stuart looked over her comics as she fanned them out and his eyebrow rose.
"Wow. Amazing Spider-Man forty two. You sure you want to get that one signed?"
"Why?" She looked at the cover of Spider-Man being tagged by a punch with the caption 'The Birth of a Super-Hero'.
"In this condition I'd say it's worth about two hundred bucks."
"What?" she gasped and turned to Leonard. "I said get something cool for Sheldon not break the bank."
"Oh it's cool alright," Stuart said soothingly. "It's the first full appearance of Mary Jane Watson. Peter meets her on the last page." The Nebraskan flipped to it.
"'Face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot'," Penny read and then cracked a smile. "Love Peter's wide-eyed gaaaaw look."
"MJ is an irresistible combination of looks and personality. She completely turns Peter's life upside down. I love drawing her."
"You draw?"
"And paint but drawing's my bread and butter." Here Stuart gave a self-deprecating smile. "Don't let the fancy threads and comic book store fool you." Penny grinned and playfully punched his arm.
"I bet you're a good artist. I'll have to see your stuff sometime."
"I have a sketchbook at the cash," Stuart said quickly. "I'm sure Leonard could hold your spot in line." He flashed the physicist a 'help me out, buddy!' look.
"Uh, sure," said Leonard and with that Penny and Stuart went to the cash. Leonard turned to Howard. "What the hell's happening?"
"I believe Stuart's putting the moves on Penny," chuckled Howard.
"I know that. I mean why is she falling for it?"
"Dude, Stuart owns a comic book store," Raj pointed out.
"He also buys Kraft Dinner by the case," countered Leonard.
"Wouldn't you if you could get all the comics you wanted at cost?"
"True," Leonard conceded. The line began to move. "Penny!"
The blonde turned at her name and said something to Stuart before returning to the group.
"Wow, I can't believe how good Stuart is," she gushed. "He even drew me after the first time I came into the store. One visit and he had me down to a 'T'." Penny smiled. "I can't wait to get it framed."
"I'll have to remember that the next time a woman accuses me of oogling: no ma'am, I'm an artist assessing your lines and curves," said Howard.
"You'll still have your nuts handed to you, Howard," Raj whispered into his ear.
"Fascinating," Leonard cut in before zeroing in on Penny. "Stuart gave you the picture?"
"Yeah. We're gonna hook up next week and go over his portfolio." She beamed. "Stuart's a cool guy."
"Yeah he is," Leonard admitted as Penny opened her comic book and began to read.
XxX
The elevator doors opened and Penny and Leonard came out and parted to their individual apartments.
"Thanks again, Leonard," Penny said as she opened her door. "Sorry to dash but laundry calls."
"No problem." The physicist unlocked his door and entered to find Sheldon at the whiteboard puzzling things out while Ramona sat in his stuffed chair. He closed the door and slipped off his shoes but didn't bother spraying his feet. Leonard was sure all the antibacterial clouds it spawned weren't good for his asthma.
"Hey Sheldon," he said brightly.
"Dr. Cooper's working," Ramona said crisply.
"Well I thought 'Dr. Cooper' would like to know that Penny got a comic book signed for him," Leonard said brusquely as he approached his roommate.
Sheldon put the cap on his marker and put it on the ledge before turning to take the proffered comic book. With delighted eyes he took in the 'To Sheldon, Excelsior! Stan Lee'.
"I'll take the comic off next month's rent," Leonard added.
Sheldon's eyes flashed to Leonard.
"Thank you," he said.
"Don't thank me. Penny's the one who thought of you."
Ramona cleared her throat.
"Dr. Cooper should really get back to work," she said.
"I suppose." Leonard crossed over to the hall and then stopped. "By the way, Stuart really scored today. Apparently Penny's a sucker for art and one thing led to another and they're going on a date next week." Pause. "Just thought you should know."
Ramona got out of her seat and went to Sheldon.
"Dr. Cooper is at the forefront of science. The last things he cares about are comic books and waitresses." She held out her hand for the comic book.
Sheldon's eyes dropped to the comic book and traced Stan Lee's signature.
"Dr. Cooper?"
He raised his head to face her and the graduate student took an involuntary step back.
XxX
Across the hall Penny got the last of her clothes in the basket and tossed in the bottle of fabric softener and box of detergent. Already her mind had been picking out a spot in the apartment for her portrait.
"Got my nephew the coolest gift on the planet and got me a little something too," she said as she grabbed the basket and keys and stepped out of the apartment.
At that moment 4A opened and Ramona dashed out only to stop dead as she saw Penny.
"Tramp!" the graduate student hissed before practically running down the stairs.
Now curious, Penny locked her door and went over to her neighbors' apartment.
"What's the gist, my physicists?" she said as she took in Sheldon staring at the comic book in his hands. "You like it?" she prompted.
"Monday after work you will take me to the DMV so I can get my learner's permit," Sheldon said crisply and marched past Leonard and around the corner.
Penny cocked her head. "What the frak?"
"That was a 'thank you'," grinned Leonard. "And here's one from me." He began to shuffle from one foot to the other. "'Ding dong the witch is dead!'" he sang joyfully.
The Nebraskan chuckled and closed the door behind her.
xTBBTx
Wikipedia: Stan Lee
Citeseerxistpsuedu: Aspects of N=1 Mirror Symmetry, Peter Mayr