You & I

Chapter Ten:

Bang

No sleep, no chance, no need
Forget about it
One life, live free, big dreams
We're all about 'em

You're finding it, take it, take it in, it's all here
You and me, no one else, nothing else but us right now

- You & I - Crystal Fighters

'You got shot, huh?'

I found it instantly a fucking stupid question of her to ask me, especially with out floundering time. I pushed forward through the hallway with the rest of the men, all of them still in their white, ridiculous suits. I gripped my right arm and did not even grace Barbara with a reply, instead I turned and glared at her form which leant against the wall to our left.

We all knew very well that there was one last job of the day, and we only had a small amount of time to prepare for it. I would be damned if I missed this one. Impulse told me I only wanted to go to make sure you didn't die, but all I wondered was when the hell It started talking to me. Was it always there, a murmuring at the back of my head? Was I getting madder, or was it just my thoughts breaking through the dull hum in my head?

The whole ride home I had felt the stinging realness of my wound. Now that I was inside and safe, I marvelled the way in which my hand slid against the gash on my bicep, intrigued at the sheer amount of blood that could come from a flesh wound. I had never been hurt very badly before - I'd only seen others, like my mother, bleed. Perhaps it was my penance.

Whilst the others pushed into the dining room, past the lingering Tabitha, you sighed loudly and tittered away at her. 'What did Dobkins ever to do you, huh?' You grinned and spun away from her, ignoring or simply not seeing her large brown eyes roll away from your form. You radiated with glee and happiness, so pleased with how the job had gone, even if the teenagers had not died. Would you have hated me for admitting that I was almost glad they had not died? It would have been a waste, Jerome. Pointless.

My arm had started to hurt quite a lot at that point. I hung back for a moment, watching the others wander about the room and listen to the praises from the ever talking Theo. You spun to him, mouth wide and pleased as he relaid the events that had taken place. I glowered at him, wondering in real detail for the first time why the fuck we were bothering with all of this in the first place.

'You look pale,' Tabitha said, somewhere to be left. We both leaned on opposite sides of the grand doorway; her arms were crossed, whilst my left arm held my wound. I scoffed at her, too wary to be rude. My sharp tongue was not in the mood for a battle in that moment.

'I was shot'.

Need I say anything else?

She looked like she might act upon it for a moment, you know. Like she was actually about to offer assistance of some kind. But it was in that moment that Barbara coughed from somewhere behind us, loud and pointed and calling for the beautiful brunettes undivided attention. I smiled wryly and turned away, signalling to her that I was not bothered with her departure. Apparently being shot was nothing for anyone to worry about, was it?

Deciding, once the only other women were gone, that I did not want to be part of the male ego boost party, I returned to what had become 'our' room. From what the clock on the mantle told me, we all had only two hours until we were to set off for the GCPD building.

Holding a flimsy dress that Galavan had presented me with to the wound, I grimaced and swore. 'Just wait until I find you later, you trigger happy pig-'

I heard the door click and knew it was you. 'You shouldn't talk to yourself, Maddie'. I stiffened at the name. 'It's a sign of madness, y'know'. You rounded the bed, smirk in place as you took me in, brow cocked. 'Huh. I was kinda hopin' you'd wear that little thing at some point, beautiful. Guess you're just full of disappointments today, huh?'

There was something accusing in your tone that had me tightening my hold on the black fabric in my first. I glowered at you. 'I am so sorry that me getting shot has bothered you so, Jerome. It's not something that I exactly wanted, you know'.

You tilted your head, hair a disaster and jaw clicking with annoyance. 'You know I don't like it when you act like a bitch, beautiful'.

I sneered and laughed at you, licking my lips and tasting the rouge. 'Why is it that a man will always call a woman a bitch when she talks back? If being a bitch means shutting you down when you're being ridiculous then, yes, I am a bitch, Jerome'. I don't know whether it was because you were not expecting the answer or you were simply annoyed with me for not praising you already, but you acted so quickly and so violently that I can still feel the sting.

You swooped down and took my right arm in your grasp, thumb pushing past the fabric I held there and digging into my wound. I shouted in your face that was pressed close to mine, your white teeth bared at me and your blue eyes enraged. 'This wouldn't be happening if you hadn't gone and got shot, Mads!' You announced, retracting your hand quickly. I slapped you and your grinned, cheeks rounding.

'You're mad because I got shot?' I snapped, hissing and pressing the fabric against the bubbling blood once again. 'I was standing in the exact same place you were - it was just chance that I was the fucking one to get hit'. I pursed my lips and watched you step away from me, hands starting on the buckles of your suit. I watched you, eyes a little unfocused. 'I know which one did it. I'll get him'. It was an odd feeling, you know. I hadn't wanted to kill someone to personally since my mother had died at my hands. 'You wait'.

You peeled the suit away from your body, leaving you in your boxers. I hissed in pain as I peeled away the dress from my gunshot wound, noting that the gash was wide enough that it would not stop bleeding unless I got stitches pronto. I turned to you, about to open my mouth to voice this concern, but it was perhaps something in your eyes that stopped me from breaking the silence.

It wasn't the first time that I saw you looking at me with something like intimacy in your gaze. There was no devotion there, not any kind of level love between our looks. No. No. There was something, though. Something like rage. Something like concern. Something like confusion. Your head was tilted and your body was near paper white in the sunlight that filtered through the large windows and the only spot of colour on you was my blood on your thumb.

You opened your mouth and clicked your jaw, bottom teeth scraping against your top lip. I wondered what went on in that head of yours sometimes, much like how you wondered the same about me.

You pressed forward, bare feet padding against the wooden flooring. In only two long strides you stood before me, bare body white and freckled and a breath away from my fingers tips. I watched you, though, ever wary of anything you could do to me. Steadily, you reached a hand toward my face and cupped my jaw, eyes blank as you looked down at me.

'Stay close to me'.

I'm not sure whether you meant at the GCPD building, or just in general. Either way, I blinked up at you before nodding once, slowly. It was odd for you to speak to me in such a level voice. It made me a little uneasy, truth be told, Jerome. You looked over you shoulder, bones twisting beneath your pale skin as you eyed the clock with hard blue eyes. With a slight grunt, you dropped suddenly to your knees and grinned wolfishly at my wryly confused look.

'What are you doing, Jerome?'

You said nothing. Even as you hoisted up the skirts of my dress and pushed my knees apart, you continued to stay eerily silent. No, I suppose eerie isn't quite the right word to use, is it? I just wasn't used to your silence, Jerome. I wasn't used to you giving so easily to me. Even when your mouth found its prize, you kissed and sucked and touched me as you always did, but there was something slow and purposeful about the way you touched me. You did not bite or seek any kind of sounds from me.

You just felt me.

I grabbed onto the muscle of your shoulders and you hoisted at my thigh, lifting one leg over your other shoulder. I gasped and clenched my eyes shut, chest heaving as I dug my nails into your skin with might. You drove me insane when you did things like that to me - when you mapped me out with your hands and tongue and made me feel. It was like every time you were with me you tuned into the childlike curiosity of yours, feeling every inch of me like fucking me was something else you could be a master at.

I came with your eyes staring up at me and a hand planted across my stomach to keep me in place as I arched upward. I hadn't realised just how much I needed that release until it was over - I felt calmer and just a little bit clearer in the head. You licked your lips and leaned up, grinning a little grin and planted your mouth against my own. I tasted me. You pulled away and pushed your nose against mine, sucking in my deep breaths. 'Are you feeling better now, beautiful?'

And just like that, any ounce of you being anything other than a sarcastic asshole disappeared into thin air. I sighed at you and pushed you away from me, lips twitching into an exasperated smile. 'I've still just been shot,' I reminded you, watching you stand before me. Your lips were red and your eyes were darker than before. I loved you like that. 'That still hurts'.

You clucked at me and rolled your eyes like I was a petulant, annoying child. 'Stitches!' you said suddenly, clicking your fingers. 'That's what you need, beautiful. Gotta have you spick and span for the GCPD, ain't we?' You backed away and dove into the en suite bathroom, clattering and banging the only thing I could hear. You reappeared once again with your fists clenched around something small. You hovered before me, grinning wide. 'Are you excited, beautiful?'

Five minutes later I watched you sew the gash in my arm shut with surprisingly steady fingers. You sat next to me on the edge of the bed, one leg crossed underneath the other and your ginger hair tickling my face as you leaned down to the inspect the injury. 'Well, you've made a mess of this, beautiful - why didn't you clean it?'

I blinked at you. 'I - I'd been shot, Jerome! I was waiting for someone to offer!'

You tutted at me once again and pulled hard at the thread, making me hiss. 'You can't just wait around for people to clean up your messes for you, beautiful. You know that'.

I squinted at you, watching your lips press together in concentration. It was one of the few times I was able to look at you closely without you grinning at me or teasing me. I could, finally, appreciate the paleness of your skin and the light, hardly noticeable freckles that decorated the bridge of your nose. Your eyelashes, pale, were what I found to be so surprisingly long as they dusted against your cheeks. There were so many things that made you beautifully human, it just took me a while to find them.

It hurt a little to look at you, so I instead directed my gaze to the full length mirror directly in front of us. I often found my image to be a distorted one that I could never, ever like. I saw you, body leaning toward mine and hands moving in a fluid motion over my skinny, pale arm. My hair was as untamed as usual; so dark against my white, unhealthy skin. My eyes seemed brighter than normal - there was a kind of life there that I hadn't seen for years in the dark depths. What did you see in me that was beautiful, Jerome? I hated every inch of me at times. I hated that I was not a wonderful crazy like you, but instead a quiet, confused kind of mad.

My head hurt with it sometimes.

'Done!'

I looked quickly away from the mirror and down to my scratched and scarred arm that you held in your grasp. For a moment, I blinked in utter confusion at what was laid out before me - what you had created. My bicep, once covered in a wide gash and blood, was now tidy and knitted closed with the green thread you had chosen among the many colours. It was not that which had me stumped though; no, it was the way in which you had sewn the gash closed. You had made the letter J.

I laughed loud and, perhaps, sanely. 'You branded me?' I laughed, looking up at you and seeing your pleased little look. You liked to make me laugh, of course. 'Am I cattle now, Jerome?' I scoffed and snorted, prodding the tender area around the skin with interest. 'I'm actually very impressed,' I giggled. 'You've done a pretty good job'.

You shrugged and stood up, dusting off your hands in an exaggerated manner. 'Well, having a crazy bitch of a mother came with learning first aid, beautiful'.

I looked at you, donned out in your police uniform, and felt that peculiar stir in my stomach I had only become one again accustomed to upon meeting you. You looked delicious, Jerome. I was so pleased to see you out of the clothes you normally wore. You carried yourself in new way, completely taking on a different role. I was entranced by you, you know.

'What'cha lookin' at, beautiful?' you said to me, taking on that New York accent you played so well. I blinked at you from behind my fake glasses, a slow grin spreading onto my face.

I leaned against the back of the GCPD building and blinked at you, hands pressed against the pencil skirt I wore. We were supposed to blend into our surroundings in a way that would allow us to walk into the building without being noticed. Not until we wanted to be noticed, that is. You leaned over me, enjoying my interest and excitement in what was about to go down. You hadn't seen me like that yet. You hadn't seen me want to kill.

The cap you wore shadowed over your eyes so that only I could see them. Pressing a hand against the wall as someone past a couple of meters away, you breathed against my face and grinned. 'I kinda like this look on ya, beautiful'. You licked your lips in thought, eyeing my pencil skirt and white, button up blouse. 'Very...grown up'. I couldn't tell if you were taking the piss or being serious, but in all honesty I didn't care at all.

I leaned up and nipped at your lip, practically vibrating with anticipation. I was a little taller thanks to the kitten heels Barbara had picked out for me. You reached around me with your other arm and pulled none-too-gently at the bun my thick, crazy hair had been put into. 'Don't. Like. That,' you said, pulling hard one more time. 'Let it loose as soon as you can. It's buggin' me'.

I rolled my eyes at you, pushing further into the wall. I knew you hated it when I moved away from you. 'Yes, dad'.

You swooped in quickly, eyes dark and smile spread filthily across your face. The uniform made you bigger, somehow - it's hard to describe. 'You gonna start callin' me daddy now, beautiful'. I almost flushed red, you know. It didn't help that you said the whole thing in that fucking accent. You pulled away from me suddenly, eyes flashing down to the clock on your wrist. 'Sorry to cut this short, beautiful girl. We gotta get goin' - now'.

You went first, leaving me to straighten up my glasses and flatten down my hair. Once we were in the entrance of the building, I could see the others making a move forward behind us. Like you, they were dressed like cops. I felt calm. It reminded me so vividly of when I murdered my mother, you know. I was completely and utterly ready for what was about to happen - all I felt was a want to shoot the fucker down who hurt me and made you look at me like I was something less.

You went froward and passed one of the desk jockeys with a, 'I need t' talk to Commissioner Essen right away, it's an emergency'. You walked with your hand on your belt and with a lazy swagger to your walk - a perfect imitation of someone who was not you. I was impressed. I was giddy. I followed you with petite steps, my hand clutching a little red handbag. Did they all know my face off by heart? If one of them took one, long look at me would they know who I was?

You entered Essen's office with ease, head still ducked. I hung behind and leaned against the doorway, watching her face fall into an expression of utter horror as you grinned from beneath your cap. The moment she, the beautiful dark skinned woman, went for the gun on her desk, you acted. Your gun was pointed at her face before I could even reach for the one in my handbag. Her eyes darted to me and I could see the fire there - I didn't know then that you would kill her. Had I had it my way, she would have lived while the rest of them burned.

I don't know why. There was just something in her that was worth saving.

'Heard you were looking for us'.

There was a sudden bang from behind us and I watched as smoke and gunshots filled the GCPD. You laughed and stared at her, watching this woman panic as her men and her women died at the hands of our people. I wondered how it was felt to be in her situation - was she scared? Was she sad? I forgot what it was to real feel something other than what I felt for you. I often missed the feel of something real.

Reaching up, I tore the glasses away from my face and watched the hell unfold behind me. I left you to play with your food, and instead watched a man dive to save a woman, I watched cops fight fake cops, I watched the world as if it was not quite there. How had my life turned into this pointless play of killing? Now, there had to be a point to a murder, I always thought. And...there he was. My point. My murder.

I recognized him, as he ducked and shot at the men we had brought with us. He was a stout, balding man with laugh lines and a coffee stain on his collar. There was nothing remotely evil or horrible about his appearance - in fact, I bet he had kids. I bet he had a plump wife who cooked him dinner every night that he got back from work. I bet he read his kids bedroom stories and I bet he liked to watch those old time television shows that my dad liked.

I bet he had a chance at a life that my fucked up little head would not allow. The idea of that life was a terrible end to me. You understood that, I knew. You saw what a sad, awful way that was to spend the days we had been given - it was why we did what we did. We lived in chaos.

I don't remember shooting him. I don't remember making the concious decision to shoot that man, I simply remember seeing blood spray from his shoulder. It wasn't a shot to kill, but I would not tell you that. I would point at some random man and tell you that I shot them in the head. I would not tell you that he lay on the floor, in pain for the amount of time that we were in the GCPD. I didn't tell you that I read his name in the paper the next day, stating that he had in fact lived.

I wouldn't tell you that this fact pleased me.

'Beautiful,' you said, your voice like a song. You must have heard the gunshot, because the moment you met my gaze you looked pleased with me. 'Oh, how rude I'm being! Commissioner Essen, meet my girl - Madeline. Now, I'm sure you've heard a lot about her from those police reports of yours. Now - how about you come with us'.

We took her to the highest point of the GCPD once all of the shots had been fired. You tied her to a chair and I looked out for the man who had shot me, and in turn I had shot him. I couldn't see him, you know. I wondered if he had hidden amongst the other dead, or simply managed to crawl out of the hell hole the building had turned into.

Essen was tied to a chair on a desk and you stood before her, hat now thrown onto the ground next to you. Lazily, you walked back and forth as the last few stragglers were shot by our men. I watched one crawl toward me, gun in hand, but he was soon shot down by Greenwood. The brute grinned at me with rank teeth and glee in his face. They were like children - all of them. No method to their madness, that's where you're different

I winced and shifted, shaking the voice from my head.

'Hell of a first week you're having, Commissioner,' you said, peeling your jacker from your form. I watched her eyes flash to my stoic ones. She was trying so hard not to be scared, you know. Even you could appreciate her strength. 'I wish I could tell you things are going to get better for you - they're not'. You threw your jacket to the side with a flourish and spun on your heel, eyes meeting mine with a quick grin. 'Here,' you said to Greenwood. 'Bring that up here - better view of the room'.

Greenwood complied and hoisted himself up onto the desk with camera in hand whilst you pretended to direct him in getting the best shot. I hung back, back pressed against the wall behind me and gun dangling lazily from my hand.

'Why are you doing this?' asked Essen, breathless and scared.

You paused and stood straight once again. 'To rule the world - blah, blah, blah. But we'll settle for some dead cops and some good PR'. Your laughter stopped and I heard the seriousness seep back into your voice. When you spoke like that...I knew then you were going to kill her. 'Kidding'.

'Yeah. Whatever, I get it. You're just crazy,' Essen bit back, leaning forward in her seat. I pulled away from the wall immediately, knowing that such words would just bug you. It was such a simple excuse to you, wasn't it? You didn't like people to call you crazy, because crazy made everything seem so messy. No, no. You liked to be called eccentric - a star.

You tilted your head at her. 'Crazy'. You tasted the word. Slowly, you took those few steps forward and turned once, becking me forward with a quick jut of your head. With a roll of my eyes I complied, climbing onto the desk in my annoying pencil skirt and silly little heels. Hoisting up your trousers so they rested over your ankles, you knelt before her. She looked at you, unblinking. 'Look at me,' you said, voice low. 'Look at her'. Essen's eyes flashed to mine, then back to yours. 'You can see we're not crazy'.

'Very soon little man,' Essen replied, voice slow and precise. 'You and your little girlfriend will be dead, and the world will go on without you. You'll be nothing - no one will even remember your name'.

I stood closer to you now, feet only a breath away from yours. I didn't like the way she spoke to you. I didn't like how she belittled you. If only they saw past the bad and just...just realised how brilliant you were. Horrible and sadistic - yes...but so, so smart. 'Hmmm, no'. Your voice held that malice. 'That is where you're wrong'. You stood suddenly, towering over the both of us. 'Old lady. We will leave a mark on this city'. You curved around her, mouth inches from her ear. My jaw clenched. 'We will spread across it like a virus. Do you know why?'

Greenwood, who filmed the two of you, laughed. 'There's not thing more contagious than laughter!'

I sighed, watching as you turned to him with a large smile on your face. It was no surprise to me when you raised your gun hand and shot him square in the chest, smile unwavering. You had, in fact, promised long ago that you would kill him. Essen flinched and tried to shrink away from you, but you simply turned back to her with a large grin.

'My line'. You laughed. 'There's nothing more contagious than laughter! Ha!' I turned and watching Greenwood twitch and bleed, no remorse in my body. He deserved it. He did.

Essen spat at you, only causing me to take a further step forward. In reply, you licked your lips and blinked at her, a slow smile crawling across your face. 'That was strangely pleasant. Do it again'. I narrowed my eyes at you, not quite appreciating the way in which you were teasing your prey. You know, the fact that she head butted you almost brought me a small amount of glee. I couldn't quite help the smile that spread across my face.

You laughed in her face, blood pouring from your bleeding nose. 'You got me! My turn'. You laughed and laughed, more horribly than I had ever heard it before. You were going to kill her, I knew, but even when you cut her throat I knew that was a wasted life. She was strong. She was a fighter. The world couldn't risk to lose people like her, Jerome. All that would be left was the weak and rotten.

You grabbed my arm and pushed me to the centre of the platform, camera pointed at my feet. With laughter in your voice, you kicked the camera so it faced the both of us and kissed me square on the mouth, promising me with that action that I would end up bruised and panting before the night was out. 'Now, beautiful,' you said, arm curling around my waist. 'Say hello to Gotham!'

Took a while to get it out, but I'm pleased with this chapter! Review and thank you for reading!