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Kylo let the door to Rey's cell close quietly behind him. It was probably the first time he'd ever not used the Force to slam a door closed, he mused. He was unsettled and irritated, but he wasn't angry. That was also a revelation of sorts.
I don't need the whole galaxy. Her words echoed through his mind. For a deafening heartbeat he had thought she was going to say she only needed him. How foolish! He berated himself. He started toward his quarters, his long strides covering the distance in record time. Once inside, he flung his mask off, as was his custom, and sank onto his sleeping mat, covering his face with his hands.
I need to go home. Of course she wants to go home. Why would she want to stay here and be my prisoner? he thought, petulantly. Not that he blamed her. He wouldn't want to be a prisoner, either. Perhaps if she weren't a prisoner, she would be willing to stay? How did he ever expect her to convert to the Dark Side if she viewed herself as captive against her will? He leaned back against his pillow, mulling this over. How could he convince Snoke to move her to regular quarters? I shouldn't have kissed her. This thought came unbidden into his mind, but it wasn't untrue. What was he thinking? She is a weakness! He repeated it over and over. She is a weakness. Every ounce of his training told him to eliminate her, and he couldn't. He also couldn't let Snoke know how much she meant to him. Snoke would undoubtedly exploit that information and use it to hurt them both. He couldn't let that happen. Snoke needed to die. But how?
He rolled over on his mat and closed his eyes. The now familiar vision of Rey in a white dress came into his mind and for once, he didn't fight it. Perhaps sleep was best. It was rare that he could get anything closely resembling rest. The thought lurked at the back of his mind that he should be more angry, but he couldn't muster the energy to be angry at her. He wanted her here on her own terms. He wanted her in his arms. He had to find a way to turn his weakness into an advantage, since it was clear that he wasn't going to be able to control these feelings any other way.
Suddenly he had a thought, and acting on instinct, he pushed his vision of Rey in a white dress into her mind.
Wha….What is this? Rey was surprised and didn't welcome the interruption of her own thoughts.
It's the dream I have about you every night. You asked about it. I'm showing you. He answered.
She was silent for a moment, taking in the scene. She was wearing a flowing white dress. Kylo was on his knees in front of her, his head against her chest. She was kissing the top of his head, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her fingers in his hair.
Where are we? She asked, finally.
I'm not really sure. He replied. It changes from night to night.
You dream this every night?
Yes.
His answer was flat, devoid of feeling, and she wasn't sure how to take it. Why was he showing her the dream? He had told her that creating a link was dangerous with Snoke within distance and able to push into their connection.
I thought you said it was dangerous to make a connection? Why did you do it now?
It is dangerous. Goodnight, Rey.
With that, the connection broke and Rey's consciousness returned to her cell. She sat up on her cot, rubbing her forehead with her hand. Of all the men in all of the galaxy. She thought soberly. What the hell was that, anyway?
"Supreme Leader, I'd like to move the prisoner to, er, more comfortable quarters," Kylo Ren paused to see what the reaction would be from his master.
"More comfortable quarters? For a prisoner? What are you thinking, my apprentice?" Snoke peered at him with suspicion.
"I think if we are to lure the girl to the Dark Side, it might be easier to do so if she feels more comfortable here, less like a prisoner and more like a guest. Despite growing up as a filthy scavenger on Jakku, she has come to appreciate things such as a daily shower. Her current conditions do not offer that," Kylo replied. He woke up this morning with a revelation. Well, two revelations, the first being that he had slept through the night. That in itself was a little unnerving, but not unwelcome. He couldn't remember the last time he had actually gotten a good night's rest, and it was doing wonders for his mood today. He had said good morning to a stormtrooper on his way to Snoke's chambers, catching him so off guard that he walked into a wall. He chuckled to himself, thinking that he may be even more frightening to people when he was unpredictably friendly. They surely thought he had gone completely mad.
The second revelation would hopefully convince Snoke to move Rey.
"I am well aware of her current conditions," snapped Snoke, "Where do you suggest moving her?"
"The quarters next to mine are empty. She would, of course, still be locked in with guards posted outside of the doors, but it would be an improvement over her current situation," he held his breath as he waited for his master's reply.
"Of course the quarters next to you are empty. No one wants to live next to you because of your infamous temper. You must continue to work on that. While using your anger to strengthen yourself in the Force is necessary, you must also control it."
"Yes, master," Kylo looked down at the floor as he knew Snoke was right.
"You have only had one staff member willing to live next to you, a radar technician, but he did not last very long. I assumed you killed him but I never heard what actually happened. Usually Hux tells me when you…..eliminate…..his employees. You must learn to control these urges. Save them for battle where they are needed," Snoke looked at him sternly, "As for the girl, if you want to move her there, then do so. Have you made any progress in extracting any information from her?"
"No, my Lord. She is still very defiant and uncooperative. I feel any heavy handed tactics will backfire against us if we are truly trying to lure her to the Dark Side. I think," Kylo paused, not sure he should reveal the next bit of information.
"Go on," Snoke stroked his chin.
"I think the girl may have...feelings. For me." Kylo instantly regretted saying it. He should have planned this out better.
"Really now?" Snoke said with a sinister laugh.
"You have seen parts of the dream I have about her. It is a vision she doesn't realize she shares with me when she sleeps. I believe it means she is attracted to me…" He let his voice trail off, hoping Snoke believed him.
"And do you have those feelings in return, my apprentice?"
"Of course not," he scoffed, "She is the enemy."
"Yet you had compassion for her at one point," Snoke reminded him.
"And that point is gone," Kylo shoved every thought about Rey into the deepest part of his mind. "However, If I can make her believe that the attraction is mutual, I will be able to turn her to the Dark Side, and we will have all the information we require to find Skywalker and crush the Resistance." He finished his pitch, hoping it was working.
Snoke was silent for several moments, thinking over the things that Kylo had said. He tried to push into Kylo's mind to find a lie, but Kylo kept corners of his mind hidden, and Snoke found nothing of value to him. Kylo cunningly offered up falsified bits of his mind, showing Snoke an image of Rey sharing his dream. It wasn't altogether untrue. Hopefully Kylo's false memories would convince Snoke. For good measure, he made it seem as though he were trying to hide these memories.
"Women have always been a fickle sort, acting on emotions." He said the word with distaste. "It is keen of you to see this and use her weakness to your advantage. We need that information, sooner than later, Kylo Ren. I am leaving this in your hands. We need to find Skywalker and I feel she already has. He could be with the Resistance already. She can answer those questions for us. We need to know the location of their base. Use whatever tactic necessary to obtain this information. I would say use your charming personality but I do not want you to fail," Snoke waved him out of his chambers.
"Thank you, my Lord," Kylo rose from one knee and left Supreme Leader Snoke's lair. This was one of the few times he left his master in a good mood, rather than wanting to kill someone. He had succeeded in his plan of having Rey closer to him now he just had to figure out how to lure her to the Dark Side.
A vidscreen and three holobooks had been delivered to Rey's cell, but not by Kylo Ren. They were brought with her breakfast by one of the guards who seemed confused by the situation but didn't ask. They knew she was under the watch of Kylo and they knew better to say anything, even if it was to her. Around here, it wasn't about just keeping your job, it was about keeping your life.
The vidscreen was preloaded with various training videos for stormtroopers. Rey snorted. Not exactly what she was hoping for but she guessed it was better than nothing. She could probably get a good laugh out of them, at the very least. The holobooks might be slightly more interesting, though still not topics she would pick for herself. History of the Sith, History of the Empire….those are sure to be an exciting read, she thought, rolling her eyes. The last one didn't have a title on the cover page. She activated it and flipped to the next page, finding a picture of a figure in all black, with what seemed to be a control panel on their chest and wearing a mask equally, or perhaps more frightening, than the one Kylo Ren wore. Rey looked at the bottom of the page. The inscription read, "Darth Vader". So this was the legendary Sith lord and Kylo's grandfather. She shuddered. She wasn't sure she wanted to read this one at all, yet part of her was curious about the man behind the mask. She wondered what drove him to the Dark Side. Obviously he wasn't born Darth Vader so what led him down the path that ended with turning to the Dark Side? Maybe she wanted to read this more than she realized. She sat down on her bed and flipped to the next screen.
She wasn't prepared for a picture of him as a child, as Anakin Skywalker, with Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He was born a slave and Qui-Gon had won his freedom, but was unable to free his mother. From that point on, however, until his last day, he was an apprentice and called someone master. Rey shook her head. This poor kid was doomed from the start. Qui-Gon was killed in a battle with Darth Maul so Anakin became the padawan of Obi Wan Kenobi. She listened to audio journals where Anakin expressed frustration with his training, wanting to learn more but feeling like he was being held back. He also expressed his love for a Senator from Naboo, Padme Amidala, along with his lament that Jedis are not allowed to have such feelings. There was only one picture of Padme, from their secret wedding day on Naboo, Padme's home planet. She wondered why there weren't more pictures of Padme; she was beautiful.
Anakin's audio journals stated that not long after the wedding Padme became pregnant. Anakin began to have nightmares about her dying in childbirth. He had recently discovered upon traveling back to his home planet of Tatooine that his mother was abducted by Sandpeople. He tried to save her but he arrived at the Sandpeople settlement too late and she died just after he arrived. The thought of also losing Padme filled him with dread. He spoke of his fears to his mentor, Senator Palpatine of Naboo, who was eventually declared Emperor. Palpatine mentioned that a Dark Side user, Darth Plagueis, had such a knowledge of the Dark Side that he could keep the ones he cared about from dying. Rey put the holobook down. Vader turned to the Dark Side because he was afraid of losing his wife. He fell because he loved her so much he couldn't imagine being without her. This was not what Rey was expecting to find out. She hadn't even reached the part in the holobook where he officially turned to the Dark Side but she knew the end of the story. Everyone in the galaxy knows the end. She wondered if anyone realized that Vader wasn't led to the Dark Side by greed or lust for power, as many automatically assumed. He just wanted to save his wife and unborn child, or more accurately, though he didn't know at the time, children. Padme was pregnant with twins.
Anakin's last audio entry speaks of the Jedi Council via Obi Wan asking him to spy on Palpatine and how he feels torn between two friends. That was the last audio entry from Anakin; the rest were articles and other various entries about events that happened later. After declaring his allegiance to the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, Emperor Palpatine, he led an assault on the Jedi Temple, where all the Jedi were killed, including the younglings. Rey shuddered. The desperate lengths of a desperate man, but still an atrocity, no excuses. The next entry showed that when Vader arrived on Mustafar, he slayed the representatives of the Separatist Council. Following that, Padme arrived on the fiery planet of Mustafar to confront Anakin, now Darth Vader, but Obi Wan stowed away on her ship. When he emerged from her ship, Vader accused Padme of betraying him and Force choked her until she was unconscious. Kenobi and Vader then had a vicious lightsaber battle, with Kenobi leaving Vader for dead, having cut off his left arm and both legs while lava flows caught him on fire. Emperor Palpatine arrived, found Vader, and took him to Coruscant for surgery. Vader was then born as he is recognized throughout the galaxy with his black mask and suit that kept him alive. Kenobi took Padme to the asteroid Polis Massa to give birth to the twins before her death.
Rey put the holobook down on the bed. She was still having trouble wrapping her head around the idea of Vader as a human, a normal human being with normal emotions, even being in love with someone. The stories of Vader as Emperor Palpatine's apprentice were those of a cold and calculating killer with no remorse for his actions and no emotions to speak of. Reading his history made Rey wonder if he ever thought of Padme when he was alone. Did she come to him in his dreams? Did he think of his mother before he went to sleep at night? Was he ever haunted by the things he did? She wondered how he felt when he discovered that his unborn child was alive and not only that, but there were two. Rey never thought she would care to question the life of such an evil man. Was he really so evil? Clearly his actions were, but was the man himself entirely so? There were so many questions without answers. This left her also questioning her definitions of good and evil. She was starting to feel that perhaps things weren't so black and white and there were grey areas in between. He clearly chose the wrong path, but she could see how desperation, and then grief, forged that path. There was obviously more to the man behind the mask than what most people realized.
Rey got up and grabbed her breakfast, the usual nutrition biscuits and juice. She had gotten used to them, no worse than the portions she had eaten for years on Jakku and they were more filling. She wondered what the Stormtroopers and officers ate. It couldn't be any worse than what she was eating now. Maybe she could talk Kylo into a change. She was a guest, afterall. She snorted at that thought. A guest could at least take a shower. Granted, she had gone weeks at time on Jakku without bathing, but after joining the Resistance and having access to daily showers she discovered she much preferred cleanliness. Who wouldn't? She would much rather smell like flowers than a Hutt.
Her thoughts drifted back to Kylo Ren, even though she didn't want them to. Another man behind a mask. A man that could give her answers to questions she had about him, like was he haunted by the thing he has done? Does he think about his mother before he goes to sleep at night? Why did he kill his father? Rey's hands balled into fists and her eyes welled up with tears as she thought of Han Solo and witnessing Kylo murder him. The senseless brutality of it made her sick. Does he think about that before going to sleep every night? She crumpled up the styrofoam container juice container and threw it on the table with the tray made of the same material. Nothing hard so nothing could be used as a weapon. She wondered if she could shove the tray down Kylo's throat. She smiled at her not so Light Side thoughts. Grey areas. Grey areas indeed.
If there was anything Rey was especially good at, it was counting days. It had been five days since she had last seen Kylo Ren. With every day that passed her mood turned darker. The more she thought about the death of Han Solo the more her anger built. When Kylo finally showed up, she didn't even have a chance to ask where he had been before he told her to gather up her things.
"My things? What things?" she asked. "I don't have any things. You took all of my things."
"Your vidscreen and three holobooks, unless you'd rather leave those," he said dryly.
"Where are we going?" she demanded. She picked up the holobook without a title on the cover and followed him out into the hall. "And where have you been?"
"We are going to your new quarters and it is none of your business where I've been. I am not here to entertain you." Shocked, she forgot her anger for a moment.
"New quarters? What do you mean?" she said, somewhat breathless. His legs were much longer than hers and she was struggling to match his pace without running.
"You're a bright girl, Rey." his tone was sardonic, "New quarters means a new living space. I'm moving you out of the holding cells. You'll have your own quarters in the officer's wing."
"Will I be able to come and go as I please?" she asked.
He sighed, "No, I can't have you running amuck while I'm training and doing other tasks."
"So I'm still a prisoner," she said, her anger returning full force.
"Technically, yes, but you'll at least have much better quarters and we'll discuss more freedoms with me as your escort," he glanced over at her, trying to gauge her reaction.
"Oh, great. I get to have a chaperone." It was her turn to leverage sarcasm at him, "Will you hold my hand so I don't get lost?"
He turned abruptly to face her, mid stride, causing her to almost run into him, "Then sit in your room and rot or go back to the holding cells and rot and stink. These quarters at least have a refresher. Right now you smell like a womp rat," he was glad she couldn't see his slight smile behind his mask, and annoyed that she wasn't happier with the move. He'd never had so many conflicting emotions about a woman in his life. He turned on his heel again and continued down the corridor.
"I hate you," she said, following again.
"I know," he stopped in front of a room with two Stormtroopers standing in front, "This is it. The door is locked from the outside, two of these fine 'troopers will be posted here at all times, partially for your own protection. I don't want any of the resident idiots around here getting any ideas about harassing my guest," he keyed in the code to enter. It was much larger than the holding cell, but not overly large. Her own quarters were twice this size, and brighter. Everything was a rather depressing shade of grey. There was a bed on one side of the room, a chair and table across from it, and a large vidscreen hanging on one wall. An open door showed the way to the refresher, a closet just outside of it.
"Why do I have a closet?" she asked. "I don't have any clothes here."
"You'll find seven outfits in there, the same as what the Stormtroopers wear under their armor. There's a bin in the closet for dirty clothes, a droid will collect it weekly and bring back clean uniforms. You will never be without clean clothes. Laundry services are very efficient."
"What if I don't like those clothes?"
Kylo rolled his eyes behind his mask. "Then have what you're wearing cleaned and stay stark naked in the meantime. I really don't care." The thought appealed to him more than he cared to admit. Weakness! he reminded himself, and pushed the thought aside.
She blushed and changed the subject quickly, "Can I watch the HoloNet in here?"
Kylo shrugged, "I have no idea. I don't watch it."
"Do you even have one in your room?"
"Of course not," he scoffed. "I don't have time for such distractions."
"Oh, I forgot," she said mockingly, "the great Kylo Ren never has down time."
"If I happen to have down time, as you call it, I either meditate or read, two things I find relaxing."
Rey sat the holobook down on the table in the room, "I've seen how you meditate and that is not relaxing," she said with a slight laugh. "So what do you read?"
"Mostly military history and strategy books. Biographies or autobiographies from great military leaders," he paused. "Why are you even asking?"
She shrugged, "Maybe I'm curious about the man behind the mask. I have other questions, ones that aren't so easy." she glanced at the holobook.
"I'm sure you do," he said quietly, following her gaze. "Luckily, I'm not obligated to answer any of them."
Her anger flared again. He was so mercurial, swinging from idle chatter to rudeness in a matter of seconds. "I suppose that's the answer I should expect from a coward that killed his own father."
Heat rose up the back of Kilo's neck, "Yes, I killed my father and I am many things but a coward is not one of them."
"You were a coward when you refused to disobey Snoke's order to kill him," Rey seethed.
Kylo began to pace the room, his voice rising, "You do not understand the depth of the situation, Rey."
"What is there to understand? You killed your father! The man who still loved you despite everything you had done. He just wanted you to come home!" Rey's voice was at a shout now.
"If he wanted me to be home so badly, THEN WHY DID HE SEND ME AWAY?" he roared, pulling his lightsaber from his belt and turning it on.
"Oh no, you are NOT trashing this room before I even get to spend one night in it!" she stepped towards him and grabbed his wrist.
He wrenched out of her grasp, turned his lightsaber off and threw it into the wall, "Do not judge me until you know the full story."
"Never having a father, and always wanting one, it's very difficult to grasp what kind of 'full story' could possibly include murdering your own father." she snapped. She thought about picking the lightsaber up and turning it on him, but knew that as soon as she started toward it, his long strides would cover the distance faster and she'd be in trouble.
"Maybe one day I'll tell you, if you ever decide you truly want to know the man behind the mask, not just what he does for fun, but truly know me," he emphasized the last words for clarity, "and I will tell you this, because you may not have seen the look on my face after I pierced Han Solo," he swallowed, "my father. Snoke told me Vader fell because of emotion, sentiment…..weakness! Had he killed his son, the Empire would have prevailed. I was encouraged to not fall prey to the same thing. Killing my father was supposed to make me stronger, but it hasn't. It's only made me weaker. If I could change places with my father, I would." hot angry tears pushed at the back of Kylo's eyes and he fought to control his emotions, thankful that she couldn't see his face through the mask. He had advanced toward her as he spoke and now had her backed up against the wall. He placed both hands on either side of her head and leaned in close to her face, his voice trembling barely above a whisper "Do not judge me, Rey, assuming that you know everything when you know nothing."
Rey didn't know how to respond. She hated him for what he had done, yet she had compassion for him. Everything about him and the way she felt about him confused her. She thought about Darth Vader and grey areas and wondered if Kylo Ren had his own grey areas to traverse. She suddenly had a compulsion to reach out and touch him, but before she could he stepped back and turned away from her, retrieving his lightsaber from the floor and fastening it to his belt.
"Hey, listen…" her tone was softer, almost apologetic, "why don't you have dinner with me tonight? Maybe something besides those biscuits?" she said with a small smile.
"You want to eat dinner with a murderer?" He sounded weary; resigned. He knew he could never undo what he had done. He also doubted that she would ever understand. He had hoped that giving her the holobook about his grandfather would help her to see….but maybe he was wrong. Maybe she would never see. Perhaps she was like his mother - possessed with too much Light to ever see the grey. This would make turning her to the Dark Side all but impossible, and the thought made his bones feel heavy.
"No," she said after a moment, "I want to have dinner with the man behind the mask."
