AN: I didn't know about this until after I had written up to about chapter 17, but for anyone interested, google search Amazing Spider-man 504 or 505, Loki and Peter team up and become BFF's. For realises. It's canon, yo.

Chapter Five

"Dammit, Tony," said Bruce, shaking his head and looking disappointedly at his best friend, "you've been so good. Why'd you have to go fuck it all up?"

Tony was resting his head on his arm, leaning against the bar in the penthouse, now fully re-furnished and redecorated - he'd paid extra for a rush job on it. In his right hand hung a half drank bottle of Jack.

He sighed, and looked at Bruce, "I've not been good," he said, "not really. I'm bad, Bruce, I have stashes you haven't found."

Bruce looked at him with despair in his eyes, "Can you at least stop now? Please?" he looked at his watch, "It's two thirty, it's Christmas Day, can you… please, just stop, Tony, please. Could we try, just try and have a Christmas Day like normal people?"

"Fuck Christmas," said Tony, "I'm the fucking grinch. I'm not going down there. You can't make me, Jolly Green."

Downstairs in what was the Avengers main floor, where there was a meeting room, a kitchenette, and a small living area, all part of the same, huge, open plan room, Steve, Happy Hogan, Barton and Tasha were waiting for them.

They'd agreed to have an Avengers Christmas together, since none of them had any family, or at least none they wanted to spend Christmas with, so they'd spend it together. However when Tony had woken up at eleven, facing Christmas had been the last thing he'd wanted to do. So he'd opened his own personal Christmas present to himself, the bottle of Jack, and began drinking and hadn't stopped until Bruce had come up to find out where the hell he was and what was taking him so long to come down, despite being called by Jarvis several times.

Now Bruce had been standing there, for some time now, looking at him with those eyes. Those large, disappointed eyes which were staring at him, drilling a hole through his resolve to continue being a drunk, selfish, bastard and making him feel guilty.

Tony groaned, "Bruce," he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead into the cold counter top, "don't look at me like that, man. I can't take the look of disappointment. Please, Bruce, give me a break."

"Well, how do you expect me to look, Tony?" said Bruce, "I am disappointed. I'm so disappointed in you right now."

Tony felt like sobbing, "Don't say that, Bruce. Please, not from you. Not today."

A hand slipped across his back and began rubbing in-between his shoulder blades, soothing, trying to placate him. "Please," said Bruce, "please come downstairs with me. You don't have to pretend to enjoy yourself, you don't have to try to enjoy yourself, but please, for me, come and spend Christmas with your friends."

Tony groaned again, "Honestly, Bruce, you're the only friend I could give a shit about. I don't want to be with anyone else. Why would I go down and spend today with those people and do it while I'm still shockingly sober?"

"Because your best friend is asking you to," said Bruce, not missing a beat.

Damn him.

"Alright," said Tony, sitting up, "but you're not allowed to use that again for the rest of the year, and tonight, we're going out. Yes, we are, don't look at me like that, we're going to a bar, and I'm getting drunk, but since it's Christmas, I'll let you drag me home while I can still walk. Deal or no deal? Time to choose a box."

"Fine, deal," said Bruce, a little down beaten, but snatching the bottle of remaining Jack from Tony's hand and putting it out of reach, "now come on, everyone's been waiting for you so we can swap presents."

"I was supposed to buy presents?" said Tony.

Bruce glared at him, Tony grinned.

x-x-x

Of course Tony had bought presents. He'd bought token, but still expensive gifts for the others, but in the gift swapping he'd presented Bruce with two neatly wrapped boxes. The first, the larger of the two, had contained a joke present from Tony, a 15 inch Hulk plushie that Tony had just ordered to be put into production, along with the other Avenger toys his company already made.

Though this Hulk was a new design and instead of the usual growling face, had a huge dopey grin and large sparkling eyes and two pink blush marks on either cheek. Bruce had laughed, he had laughed so much he'd had to hold his stomach to contain himself and stop from falling over. He'd then sat the Hulk toy next to himself and gave him a little pat on the head.

"I'll let him sleep in my room," said Bruce, grinning, "thanks, buddy."

"Open the other one," said Tony, a sly grin creeping across his face.

Bruce opened the second box, a much smaller box, and lifted a key from inside, he looked at Tony confused, "What does this open?"

"Your new apartment," said Tony, "I've upgraded you. A little thanks for everything you've done these past few months."

"I don't understand," said Bruce.

Tony rolled his eyes and grabbed Bruce by the hand, dragging him towards the elevator, and the others followed out of pure curiosity. They all crammed inside the lift, and Tony hit the button for the floor beneath his own, the one which had been the top R&D floor.

They stepped off, into the corridor and Tony ushered Bruce to unlock the door. Bruce did and stepped into what had been R&D 10, and what was now Bruce's new apartment.

The others all crammed in behind Tony who was blocking the doorway, peering around him curiously as Bruce stood, looking taken aback in the now fully decorated, and fully kitted out apartment, you couldn't even tell it had once been an R&D lab.

He'd given Bruce a proper living room area, wide and open, plenty of light coming in from the huge windows, there was a half partitioned kitchenette area at the back. To the side was a bedroom, instead of just having a bed pushed to the side of the wall as in the floor Bruce currently stayed in, it had its own en-suite, there was also a 'shared' bathroom, and a spare bedroom, in case Bruce had a friend to stay, or Tony was feeling too miserable to go to the penthouse, and now wouldn't have to steal Bruce's bed. There was also a small room off to the side, which was decorated, but had nothing inside but a furniture catalogue and Tony's credit card on top, so Bruce could make it whatever he wanted, an office, a mini lab, whatever.

All the furniture and décor was high end stuff, Tony had spared no expense, he'd fully stocked the kitchen, it was more stocked than his own now, and filled the wardrobe in Bruce's bedroom with plenty of nice expensive threads, but Tony, being Tony, he'd also filled one of the draws with the largest, stretchiest pants that money could buy. So Hulk didn't feel left out.

Bruce stood in the centre of the room, turning around and looking in amazement at the apartment. Tony reached into his pocket and tossed Bruce a set of keys, which he barely caught because he was still looking a little shell shocked.

"There's a new Lincoln continental in the garage with a big green bow on it," said Tony, "I was going to go with a Lotus, but I thought the continental was more your style. Anyway, Merry Christmas, you like it?"

" I don't understand. Tony…" said Bruce, "I can't… all this… a car…? It's too much. It's just too much."

"Hey, I'll decide what is and what isn't too ostentatious to give my best friend for Christmas," said Tony, "and when I say this apartment is yours, I mean it. Your name is now on the lease for Avengers tower."

Bruce didn't seem to be able to form words.

Behind him Tony heard Barton say, "I wish I had a billionaire boyfriend." Then he heard him yelp, as no doubt Tasha had elbowed him in the stomach.

"Come on, Bruce," said Tony, "did I paint the walls the wrong colour? Not enough purple for you?"

Suddenly Bruce's arms were locked tightly around Tony in bracing hug, and Tony chuckled, hugging Bruce back as tightly as he could, considering his arms were pinned to his sides.

"Thanks for putting up with me," said Tony quietly just saying it loud enough so that only Bruce could here. "And thanks for not giving up on me, I couldn't ask for a better friend. I'm sorry, Bruce, I'm sorry I've been such a shit to you."

x-x-x

As it turned out, giving Bruce a helluva bribe in the form of a new car, new apartment and new incredibly expensive, building lease, was not a big enough bribe to convince him to let Tony totally cut loose as he'd been planning to.

Bruce had dragged Tony, drunk but still standing and putting one foot in front of the other, out of the bar around ten thirty to much grumbling and griping on Tony's part, since it was Christmas and even in New York, this meant a lot of places which would have normally been open were closed for the holidays.

Tony had wanted to order a town car, but Bruce had insisted upon him that it was only an hour walk and he could use it to sober up a little. Tony couldn't help but comment that Bruce was far too used to public transportation and not having any money. Bruce had given him a playful hit on the back of his head for the comment.

"There must be an open deli around here somewhere," said Tony as they walked down the street, looking around.

"If there is, I don't think they will sell chalupas," said Bruce.

Tony had been having major chalupa hankerings lately.

"No, I want ice cream," said Tony, "and real ice cream, not that cool whip, low fat, frozen yoghurt, tasty delight bullshit either."

"I love it when you talk dirty to me, Tony," said Bruce with a grin, "that looks like it might be an open deli on the corner, we'll see what we can find."

They walked to the corner and found that the deli was indeed open, there was a freezer chest filled with ice cream bars and popsicles, Tony chose an Eskimo Pie for himself and Bruce after some cajoling picked a Magnum Classic, then at the counter had grabbed a packet of twizzlers and some junior mints, causing Tony to laugh and call him a sugar junkie.

They tore off the wrappers in the deli and began eating the ice creams as they walked down the street.

"Fancy a trip to Europe?" asked Tony as he bit into his Eskimo pie, "this isn't hitting the spot and I really want a Maxibon, if I tried to import some they'd probably melt on the way."

"You want to go to Europe, so that you can buy a specific type of ice cream bar?" said Bruce, biting into the chocolate coating of his Magnum.

"Too indulgent?" asked Tony.

"Little bit."

They only walked half a block when Tony spotted something flying past his head, he looked into the sky, and grimaced.

"I don't fucking believe it," he said, shaking his head, "don't they take a night off?"

"Who?" said Bruce, looking up, "what?"

"It's those two clowns," said Tony, pointing to where a red, blue and black blur was swinging from the buildings, "Spider-boy and what's-his-name. I don't suppose you have one of my suits in your pants do you?"

"Don't look at me," said Bruce, "all I have is this Magnum Classic."

"Shit," he said, suddenly feeling sober and not really in the mood for ice cream anymore. "First time I actually clap eyes on them and my suits are too far away to get to. Shit."

"What's the problem?" asked Bruce, he'd managed to devour half of his ice cream, "they aren't bad guys, right? Why'd you need to go chasing after them? It'll keep for another day."

Tony grumbled, "I suppose," he said, "but it just bugs me. We know nothing about these guys."

"Well we know the one in black scares easy," said Bruce, "do you see the clip on youtube? I swear I nearly pissed my pants. The Other Guy doesn't run from teenage girls… not that teenage girls ever chase the Other Guy down the street."

"What youtube clip?" he asked incredulously, throwing the remainder of his ice cream into a trash can and pulling out his Stark phone.

"Search for, 'Shadow, chase, girls, funny' and that should find it," said Bruce, licking a dribble of ice cream from his fingers before eating the last of the chocolate coating.

Tony typed in the words and soon a clip was playing on his phone of the black clad hero being chased down a street and his spider-themed partner having to rescue him. Bruce leaned into Tony's shoulder to watched the clip as they walked, chuckling, Tony shook his head and once it had finished, slipped the phone away into his pocket.

"Ok," said Tony, "that was pretty funny."

Bruce finished the last of his ice cream, licked the stick and threw it into a trash can, "Told you. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if these guys were gone in a month or two. It's probably a couple of kids in way over their heads."

"Yeah, well, as long as they aren't as smart as we were when we were kids," said Tony, "imagine me at twenty, as Iron Man."

"You're bad enough at forty three as Iron Man," said Bruce.

"Hey…" he said, "I'm thirty eight."

"I've read your file, dip shit," said Bruce, "I know your real age, not the one on your publicity shots. I'm thirty eight."

"You know, sometimes, Brucie," he said, "that brain of yours is so beautiful, but other times it's just damn annoying. Hey, there's a cab!"

Tony took a step into the street and waved his arm, flagging the yellow cab down and when it pulled in, Tony shoved Bruce into the back seat and told the driver to take them back to the tower.

"We were supposed to be walking," said Bruce, "a cab on Christmas day, really?"

"Relax, honey, Daddy's treating today," said Tony, "I want to get home and get suited and booted and maybe see if I can spot the wonder twins."

"Oh great," said Bruce, "this is going to be your new obsession isn't it? You're like a dog with a bone."

"Woof, woof," said Tony.

x-x-x

Tony slipped the cab driver a hundred to run the reds and get back to the tower as quickly as possible, earning a disapproving look from Bruce, but thankfully no nagging.

When they got inside, Bruce said he was going to gather his possessions from his old floor and 'move in' to his new apartment. Tony suited up.

"Ok, Jarvis," said Tony flying off the platform and into the city, "I gave you the street reference of where I saw Bill and Ted on their excellent adventure. You tapped into city surveillance? I gotta get a location for them."

"Calculating now sir," said the computer, "I have a rough location I'm displaying on your hub now, I will keep calculating and inform you if you must alter your course."

"Thanks, Jarvis," said Tony.

As he flew, the location switched three times, as Jarvis kept tapping into city surveillance cameras, he kept altering his course, until he saw the two he was looking for, landing on a roof top a few buildings ahead of him.

They immediately began having, what looked to Tony from the arm gestures, as some kind of argument, and he switched to silent running, and approached as quietly and as sneakily as he could, so he could listen in. He got Jarvis to record through his visor as soon as he was close enough to hear them properly. They were so caught up in their argument they didn't even notice Tony landing on the opposite end of the roof, and sitting down with his legs crossed, watching them.

"That was completely reckless of you!" shouted the one clad in black, The Shadow.

"On come on, man," said the Spider-boy, "it's Christmas, stop being such a Scrooge McDuck."

The Shadow growled in frustration, Tony noted he had a British accent and sounded older than the other, who spoke with an American one, "You are INFURIATING, little brother," he said.

"Hey, I didn't ask for you to follow me around all the time," said Spider-boy.

"YES, YOU DID!" said Shadow, grabbing the spider by his stretchy costume and giving him a shake, though not one that had any real violence to it.

So they were brothers. That explained the conflicting costume themes, if not the accents, though, it was entirely possible they'd grown up in England and moved, and the younger had simply taken to a new accent because of youth.

"Oh, yeah, I did," said the Spider-boy, slapping his brother on the shoulder, "well cheer up, bro, it was all good."

"I hate to interrupt this kodak moment," said Tony, "but I have been dying to have a word."

Two heads instantly snapped in Tony's direction, Tony could barely see Shadow's eyes, the hood drawn over his face created, well, a shadow, and the cowl covered everything but the bottom part of his face, and Tony could just see the scowl the mouth drew into.

"GO!" shouted Shadow.

The Spider-boy leapt off the roof, and his Shadow leapt off after him. Tony burst on his thrusters, and moved across the roof, just in time to see the Shadow clinging onto the Spider's back, swinging around a corner, Tony burst off, in hot pursuit.

"JARVIS," shouted Tony, "keep your eyes on them!"

He banked the corner they had swung around to find they had gone, disappeared into thin air.

"Jarvis?"

"I'm sorry, sir," said the computer, "they moved into a black spot and I lost them."

"GODDAMMIT!" shouted Tony. He flew around trying to pick the trail back up, trying to figure out just where they had swung to, but he found nothing and Jarvis couldn't see either of them anymore, so after an hour of searching, he gave up and flew back to Avengers tower.

"Jarvis," said Tony as he landed on the platform, "add tonight's recording to project SpiderShadow. I'll review it in the morning."

"Right away, sir."

a/n:

I normally don't list off sources for pop culture references, but this time I am as it's not the character specifically referencing, it's me using a line I'm obsessed with.

Bruce's line: "all I have is this Magnum Classic" - is a quote from the a BBC programme called Mongrels, it's probably only funny to me, because me and my best friend are obsessed with quoting that line to each other.