Lemons. Sweet, sweet lemons. You got 'em here in this chapter. It's at the end if you want to skip it. Here at the beginning, Kylo has a pretty violent meltdown and panic attack. I wanted to let the readers know in case that's a trigger for anyone. Enjoy!
It was a familiar routine. Enter, throw helmet against the wall, kick over the table, punch the wall until knuckles are bloody, repeat. There were numerous reasons for a sparsely decorated living space, Kylo Ren's caustic temper only being one of them. He was so angry with himself, so disgusted. He didn't dare go into the bathroom, even to just splash cold water on his face to try and calm down. That would lead to the destruction of the mirror, his worst enemy except for himself. He despised the mirror, showing him what he already knew to be true. He sank into the chair in the front room, kicking the table out of the way. He thought about destroying it with his lightsaber, but his anger was cooling down now, from boiling rage to a slow, deep simmer. The self loathing he felt was deep and endless.
He didn't deserve her. He knew it when he said it and he knew it from the first time he had seen her. He didn't deserve Light and love, like she said. He deserved nothing, nothing beyond pain and misery for all the lives he had taken, lives he had ruined and those he had yet to infect. He had never felt anything like he felt for Rey, so beautiful and so vicious at the same time. If there was any point, any purpose in a life in the Light, he would turn to it for her in an instant, but there was nothing there for him. Nowhere to go, as Rey's place was with the Resistance and he certainly couldn't go there. He felt so close to bringing her to the Dark Side, so close. Maybe he just needed to show her more of the Dark Side, more of it's allure. She had tasted the power, tasted the respect it commanded. He didn't understand why she couldn't reach out and grasp all that was available to her with her abilities.
He couldn't sit still, an endless ball of negative energy looking for an outlet. His knee bounced, his hands twitched, all looking for something to do and finding nothing. He yelled as he got up from his chair and started to pace the room, like a caged animal. His rage was building again. Rage at himself for ever thinking he truly had a chance to be with her. Rage at himself for ever thinking he was remotely good enough for her. Rage at himself for making the same mistake as his grandfather and falling truly and deeply in love with her to where he would do anything in the galaxy for her. It was a familial trait, one he had sworn he would never fall victim to and yet here he was. What a fool.
He kicked one leg off the table. There was something much more satisfying about destroying something by hand, or by foot, than by lightsaber. The lightsaber offered complete destruction, but you couldn't feel it like you could with your own power. He grabbed the broken leg and threw it against the wall. It hit with a satisfying clang against the durasteel. He kicked the second leg and threw it, and then the third, and the fourth in succession. All of the legs were broken off of the table. Three table legs were against the wall and yet, no change in temperament for Kylo Ren. He roared in frustration. Not the chair, he told himself. It took weeks to get a new one last time, his one luxury. He ran a hand through his hair so roughly he pulled out a handful. He was breathing so hard his throat hurt. He ran both hands through his hair, lacing them together on the back of his head. He went to the wall and pounded on it with both hands until they ached, then with his head until he felt blood running down the bridge of his nose from his forehead, making a sticky, red river down the middle of his face.
He had to calm down. Part of his brain knew that but the other part was a raging fire out of control and there was no reconciliation between the two. There was always a battle in his head. Most of the time he kept it under some semblance of control; this time he wasn't succeeding. Descending from the pinnacle of rage was long, drawn out and guaranteed to leave scars. Worst of all, he knew he would have to face his nemesis, the mirror, to clean up the mess he had made of his face. That impending encounter only filled him with dread, brimming on the edge of panic. Maybe he could get in the 'fresher, get a washcloth wet and get out before facing himself. His heart raced, palms started to sweat underneath his now too tight leather gloves. He was longing to take them off, but the thought of touching anything without them only made his heart race more. He stood with his hands on his head, trying to maintain his balance. He went from standing to squatting then standing again, unable to decide what to do with his body. He hastily undid his belt, struggling to get out of his robes, now stifling hot and immensely heavy. Next he unzipped his tunic, and struggled with the suspenders over his shirt. Finally freeing himself of the suspenders, he unzipped his shirt and tore it off, sweat soaked, throwing it to the floor with disdain.
The cool air hitting his skin brought relief, brought the spiraling thoughts down, brought him back into his own mind. He ran his hands through his hair again, trying to get his bearings. His head throbbed from the very poor idea of banging it against the wall; he rubbed his forehead trying to ease the pain, the partially dried blood sticking to his fingers. The 'fresher. The mirror. He sighed. He had to do it at some point. Blowing out a breath, he headed that way. He stopped short, swinging his arms at his sides. Get it over with. He stepped into the 'fresher and flipped the light on.
Cringing at what he saw in the mirror, he shook his head. Idiot. His hair was sticking out at every angle, damp with sweat. Blood was caked horizontally across the lines on his forehead, vertically down the bridge of his nose and off the side to his cheek. The eyes of a madman looked back at him, only softened by his long eyelashes. He peeled off his gloves, wincing at how they pulled at his bloodied knuckles. The heels of his hands were already swollen and would be bruised soon. He turned on the water, letting it flow over his knuckles, soothing some of the pain. Taking a washcloth from the rack, he wetted it and washed his face, taking care around the wound on his forehead. It wasn't bad and wouldn't require medical attention, but it was there, nonetheless. He ran his wet hands through his hair, taming it down a bit. He threw the wet washcloth in the sink; he would deal with it later.
Walking into his bedroom, he kicked off his boots. He went to the closet to get another pair of gloves and put them on. Gathering up his blanket, he wadded it up into a ball, making a makeshift pillow. Easing himself down onto his mat, he let out a long, slow breath. He never imagined that a hunt for a relic would turn into...this. While it was true he had been enamoured with Rey since the first time he had seen her and dreamed of her nightly, she was just that, a dream. But now? She was reality, a brutal reality. After having her in his arms, tasting her kisses, having her body next to him, his chest ached at the thought of losing her. Fourteen days. He had fourteen days to convince her to stay. Thirteen days to figure out a plan to kill Snoke if she didn't. He rubbed his face with his hands. Maybe he didn't need a plan. Maybe the best thing would be to just go on instinct. The only necessary plan was removing him from his dais so he could put his lightsaber through Snoke's heart. Getting past whatever Snoke might throw at him before that was the actual challenge.
He was still restless, unable to be still. He hadn't planned on doing any training today, but his day hadn't exactly gone as planned anyhow. There was no way he would get any studying or meditating done at this point. He knew the Knights of Ren would be dueling soon. He lifted himself into a sitting position. Time to release some aggression. He stood up and went to the closet getting a new shirt out to begin the arduous task of getting dressed. He grabbed his boots from the floor and went to the front room to sit and put them on. He meticulously tucked his pants into them, perfectly, from years of practice then tightened the top two straps. He donned his tunic, then the last layer, his robes. He found his mask, lying in the corner where it had come to rest after his violent entry. Last came the cloak. He found his lightsaber, which had skipped across the floor when he threw his belt down. He clipped it to his belt, straightening his shoulders and cracking his neck. He waited for the door to open, then began his walk to the dueling arena with grim determination. He might feel bad for whoever had to face him, if he cared.
Rey stood where Kylo had left her, shaking. How had she fallen for him so hard, so fast? She barely knew this mysterious and dark man. Yet everything about him fascinated her, dark, light and in between. She tightened her grip on the pillow and blanket. He was dangerous, this was dangerous. Maybe she was more dangerous than she cared to admit. There was no doubt she had enjoyed every single minute of her interaction with Hux earlier. She shook her head, trying to clear those thoughts but there was no escaping them. She even smiled as she thought of the look of horror on the faces of those around as Hux turned purple.
This isn't right! She went over to her bed, lying down, cradling her pillow. She thought tears might come, but they wouldn't. She had no remorse, no regret to cry about. The only thing that threatened to bring tears to her eyes were more thoughts of Kylo. Ben. She couldn't get last night out of her mind. He had been so loving, so gentle...now that she knew what she had been missing sexually she only wanted more of him. She didn't know if her cravings were Dark Side or Light Side and on this one, she didn't really care. She knew being attracted to someone was normal, but there was something more to her attraction. Something dark. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but it was almost enough itself to make her stay and commit to the First Order.
Darth Vader had turned to the Dark Side for love, but he was immediately told to do horrible things by the Emperor. If she turned, would she be ordered to do the same? She knew she would have to give up the location of the Resistance base; she couldn't do that to her friends. Her thoughts turned to Finn, Poe, and the General. She wondered if they knew what had happened to her, if they were looking for her, or planning to mount some kind of rescue. She had a feeling she hadn't felt the full power of Snoke today. She didn't want the General to mount a rescue against him; there was something pure evil about that….being.
She shuddered thinking about Kylo being under his control for so many years. He hadn't even asked her about the location of the base, but she wasn't surprised that it was part of his assignment. She didn't know how long she could hold out against Snoke and his powers. She didn't know how long she could hold out against Kylo and his...powers. She had almost pledged herself to him, to the Dark Side, earlier when he was kissing her neck. She shivered at the memory. Everything was so tempting; the power, how she felt when someone feared her, the lust, all of it.
She sighed and rolled onto her back, putting her pillow under her head. She wondered just how powerful she could be if she was properly trained but she didn't want respect via fear, at least part of her didn't. The part of her desperately clinging to the Light wanted respect for being fair, being just, being wise. Her thoughts drifted to the Jedi Council of old. Keepers of the Light, the most respected of all the Jedi, yet...Anakin Skywalker. Was there a betrayal by the Council or was Anakin plagued by his own insecurities or both? He was a desperate man, looking for any way to save his wife and when his own Master asked him to do something he himself said he was uncomfortable with, Anakin had nowhere left to turn. Love and desperation pushed him to the Dark Side. Would she fall prey to the same ill fate?
Part of her already felt that love and desperation were pushing her to the Dark Side. Was it really love or was it desperation for love? After being alone on Jakku for so long, she had finally felt at home with the Resistance, but she had never felt love until she met Ben. What she felt was love, she was sure, but did he feel the same? He felt something deep for her, she knew that. Part of her felt uncertain, that perhaps it was all just a ploy to get her to the Dark Side as he told his master, but part of her knew that it was so much more. He wouldn't have...couldn't have touched her the way he did if he were only going along for the sake of his orders. Could he? The more she tried to sort things out in her mind, the more confused she felt.
She sighed deeply, exasperated, and covered her face with her hands. She was mentally and physically exhausted from the series of events that had taken place, but she didn't think she could fall asleep. Her mind was running in a thousand directions and she couldn't seem to reign it in. She remembered some of the meditation practices she had learned and that Ben often meditated to calm himself. Not wanting to sit up, she stayed in a laying position, but focused on calming her breathing to deep even breaths. She put her hands down to rest at her sides, keeping her eyes closed. She tried to recall Ben's dream and envisioned herself holding his head to her chest, running her hands through his hair. She felt the tension slowly drain out of her neck and shoulders. She turned onto her side to find a more comfortable position and drifted off to sleep.
Coming straight from the dueling arena, Kylo Ren keyed in the code to Rey's quarters. He didn't bother to knock, either forgetting or not caring about decorum. He wasn't surprised to find her sleeping. She had had a rough morning and needed rest. He didn't mean to stare, but couldn't help himself. She looked so beautiful, so innocent. Strands of her brown hair had made their way loose from her three buns, drifting softly over her face. Her lips were slightly parted and her breath came in a soft, steady rhythm. He was overcome with the urge to kiss her, making him glad he had his mask on before he did anything rash. He swallowed hard, turning around to leave.
"You don't have to go," Rey said quietly.
He turned back around to see her looking at him with half opened, sleepy eyes and a soft smile. He was speechless for a moment, "I-I don't want to bother you." he stumbled over his words.
She sat up, slowly stretching, "You're not bothering me," she said with a yawn.
"I'm not sure if you're up to it after this morning, but I wanted to see if you'd like to try some lightsaber training," he unclipped her lightsaber from his belt and tossed it to her.
She caught it with an eager grin, "Yes, but none of your Dark Side tricks."
He smiled behind his mask, "Galaxy Scouts honor," he held up his hand. Taking a more serious tone he said, "I'm trusting you with that."
She nodded, "I understand."
"Let's go then," he turned to leave, with Rey following close behind. As they exited her quarters, he closed a hand around her arm, walking next to her.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"If I don't have you in restraints I at least need to restrain you...or appear to be restraining you," he sounded irritated with the idea.
"Snoke's orders?" she cocked a brow at him questioningly.
"Something like that." he all but sneered. If he hadn't been wearing his helmet, she would've seen his eyes roll into the back of his head in exasperation. "It's because of what happened with Hux. He's all bent out of shape, says you're 'dangerous' or some nonsense. He whined to Snoke about almost being killed and Snoke took pity on him."
Rey couldn't help but laugh a little. "Well, I guess if you have to…" she winked at him.
He smiled behind his mask, despite his somewhat sour mood, and used his thumb to caress the inside of her bicep. His gloved caress was warm and soft and she smiled to herself. "You know," he said. "I can think of much better uses for restraints."
Rey's mouth dropped open, speechless. "Ben!" she whispered with mock disdain using the elbow he held in his hand to jab him in the side.
"Don't call me that out here," his tone was a little too sharp. "Please." he tried to soften a bit, immediately regretting lashing out at her.
She lowered her lashes to the floor, her cheeks flaming red. "Sorry, I… It slipped."
His personal training pod was in the same wing of the base as the dueling arenas and a few short strides later, they arrived. The pod had two long walls made of transparasteel, with a durasteel door to enter. There was another door at the far end set into a solid wall. Kylo stepped up to the keypad and entered his code, opening the door. "I'll show you how this works, then you can try." Rey nodded. He keyed in another code and the door on the end opened. A round, floating droid with four arms emerged. "As you saw on Takodana, a lightsaber can deflect blaster shots." Rey frowned as he brought up the memory of her trying to shoot him with a blaster. "No regrets," he said, "It was a battle. I was the enemy. Now this droid has one blaster on each arm. Depending on the level of difficulty set, it will fire them individually or randomly. It is set to less than stun. You will only receive a small shock if you miss. Watch as I go through a round." Rey noticed that he pressed the start button using the Force, drawing his lightsaber on and to the ready. The droid fired single shots at him and he easily deflected them with his lightsaber back on the droid. The droid stopped firing at the end of the training period and Kylo stepped out of the pod. "Got it?" he asked.
Rey nodded and took her lightsaber from her belt. Stepping into the pod, she turned it on, bringing it up. She wasn't entirely sure what a proper ready position was yet. She saw Kylo hit the start button and she tried to ready herself for the droid. She didn't even get a swing at the first shot before it hit her right in the arm. She jumped back in pain, "Ow!" she exclaimed, then put a determined look on her face. The next shot was wide and she was able to nick it with her lightsaber. She flashed Kylo a big grin. He simply nodded and pointed at the droid. The next shot hit her in the leg and she swore out loud. He was glad Rey couldn't see him laugh. As the blaster bolts continued, she steadily improved, though still missing a few bolts. The droid dropped it's arms, the training period over. Rey looked at Kylo and shouted, "Again!"
The droid raised it's arms and Rey tried to anticipate which one would fire first and guessed completely wrong. The blaster shot hit her right in the rear end. She jumped with a yelp. Kylo doubled over laughing, he couldn't help it. Rey could hear him and gave him the nastiest look she could muster. Don't think, feel. She heard him in her mind. She gathered her dignity and readied herself for the next shot. She closed her eyes and tried to feel where the next blaster shot would come from. Before she could even open her eyes, she had deflected it with her lightsaber. Keeping her eyes closed, she continued through the training cycle perfectly. When she opened her eyes, she had a big smile on her face.
"Next level," Kylo said. "The shots will come faster."
Readying herself, Rey nodded. She closed her eyes again, trying to feel, not think. The first blaster shot hit her in the hand. "Damn it!" she cursed. Before she could even get ready, the next blaster shot hit her in the foot. She growled in frustration. She was able to deflect the next shot, but the next few either hit her or went past her. As her frustration was growing to anger, the training period stopped. She looked at Kylo almost helplessly.
"Steady. Don't think, get ready," he pushed the button for the period to start again.
She readied and was able to deflect the first shot back into the droid. She felt more confident but wasn't able to deflect the next shot. She felt her anger rising. She missed the next one and the next, causing her to yell out in frustration. Use your anger, she heard Kylo in her head.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" she yelled, her anger boiling to a rage. She began to deflect each blaster shot back onto the droid, not missing any at all. She moved in closer to the droid, still deflecting each shot. When she reached the droid, she struck at it with her lightsaber, cleaving it in half. It fell to the floor, where she hacked at it until it was nothing more than a pile of bolts. Her breathing was heavy and she was sweating; she stared at what she had done.
The door of the training pod automatically opened when she approached and she stepped out. She went right up to Kylo and pointed into his chest, "I TOLD you no DARK SIDE tricks!"
He crossed his arms, "All I did was tell you to use your anger."
"And anger is a tool of the Dark Side! I told you I didn't want to train under the Dark Side!" she was shouting at him, her voice full of indignation.
"Look what you did. Look how well you performed. Look what you did to that droid. Tell me it didn't feel good to destroy that droid. Tell me it didn't feel good to perform at a level like that. Tell me your anger didn't feel good. I only told you to use your anger. You didn't have to listen. YOU used your anger. YOU decided to wreck that droid. YOU decided to use your darkness. All I did was remind you of it."
The calmness of his voice only further angered her, "Take me back to my room now."
"Are you sure? You're doing very well."
"NOW!" she almost screamed.
"You need to calm down before I walk you through this base. Neither of us can afford anymore trouble," his voice was stern and he was done with her nonsense. "And give me your lightsaber."
"You don't trust me now?" she snapped.
"Honestly? No. Your anger is still unpredictable. Until you learn how to use it better I don't think you need to be loose with a weapon."
"Fine!" she handed it over and he clipped it to his belt on the opposite side of his own. "Let's go!"
He grabbed her arm silently and started to lead her back to the wing where their quarters were located. Neither spoke until they reached their destination, where Kylo keyed the code to his own quarters.
"I said my quarters!" her voice was almost a growl.
"You need to calm down before you go and make an ass of yourself in front of the security cameras," he snapped back. "Or have you forgotten you're being watched?" He dragged her by the arm into the front room of his quarters.
She wrenched her arm away from him, "Take off your mask!" she commanded. He sighed and did so, rolling it across the floor. His eyes were burning with anger, but she wasn't of a mind to care. She pushed him backwards with both hands. He stumbled back a few steps but was nowhere near falling. He stared down at her, expressionless. "You are so infuriating!" she closed the gap between them and pulled him down by his robes to kiss him. She kissed him hard, her tongue seeking his. He pulled back, surprised. "I hate you," she snapped.
He grabbed her with both hands around her small waist and pulled her to him, "I know," he growled, kissing her neck. She grabbed on his robes, pulling him closer. He moved from kissing her neck to her ear, causing her to moan. He already knew this was one of her favorite spots. "I've been hard since you lost your temper in the training pod."
She moaned and moved her mouth to his lips, her tongue flicking over his. "We're wearing too much clothing," she whispered. She moved her hands to his belt, but couldn't figure out how to undo it.
"Let me help you," he said, undoing it with one hand, the other still around her waist. It fell to the floor, their lightsabers clattering against the tile. He took the hand around her waist and used it to pull the hem of her shirt out of her pants, pulling it up over her head. She shivered, her skin still moist from sweat. His lips grazed across hers, down her neck and to her clavicle, his hand running up her side and under her breast, his thumb grazing across her nipple through the fabric of her bra. She pulled down on his robes again, kissing him even more fervently. "I want these off," she said.
He stepped away from her and pulled his cloak over his head, dropping it to the floor. He then pulled off his robes, dropping them to the floor with his cloak. He looked at her with a smirk, essentially still fully dressed in a tunic, beneath which were suspenders and a shirt, as well as his pants. He closed the gap between them, wrapping her in his arms, covering her mouth with his. Her tongue greedily sought out his, alternating between deep kisses and teasing and nipping at his lips. Her hands ran up his chest, looking for the zipper to his tunic. She slowly unzipped it as his mouth found her earlobe, causing her breath to catch in her throat. He ran his tongue along the edge and a soft moan from his lips caused her to shudder. She pushed his tunic up over his shoulders and he threw it to the side. She stepped back, a bemused look on her face.
"What?" he asked.
"Suspenders?" she laughed.
He rolled his eyes, "Yes, suspenders. I can't lose my pants in battle, now can I?"
"My evil space lord wears suspenders," she grabbed his pants by the waist and pulled him toward her. "You can, however, lose your pants here." She undid the button and unzipped them, her hand grazing across his hard erection. She felt him shiver. "I'm still mad at you."
"Good," he said, kissing her fervently. "You do everything better when you're angry."
Her eyes flashed at him, "Your boots are in the way."
"So are yours," he replied, loosening the top strap on each of his and kicking them out of the way.
"So take them off," she commanded.
He gave her an amused look, but bent down to take them off. He ran his hands from her waist down her thigh to her ankle, working his way down to her boot. When he had unfastened the straps on one, he ran his hands back up for a quick and gentle rub between her legs. Rey thought her legs might buckle right there and she used his shoulders for balance. He repeated this with the other leg, only lingering longer between her legs, teasing her nub. Standing up straight, he unfastened the button at her waist. He pulled her in close for a kiss, reaching his hands into the back of her pants, cupping her firm buttocks. In one motion, he knelt down, pulling her pants and underwear down, leaving her only in her bra.
Kneeling in front of her he was positioned perfectly and took advantage, gently kissing her belly, then moving slowly south. She moaned and balled her fists into his hair. He stood, wrapping his arms around her waist again. He loved to tease her.
"Kylo Ren, you're still wearing too much clothing," she said in a hungry voice, her dark eyes staring up at him.
"Call me Ben," he said in a husky voice. "Please."
She stepped out of her underwear and pants around her ankles, slinging them to the side with her foot and pulling his suspenders over his shoulders at the same time. His pants didn't immediately fall, but she made quick work of those, too. She couldn't help but stare at the bulge in his underwear. She hadn't realized how big it was and looked. She put his arms around her and pulled him in for another hungry kiss. She felt him hot and hard against her stomach, making her want him more. She unzipped the zipper on his shirt and worked it off, finally having him down to his underwear. "By the Maker, you wear a lot of clothes, Ben." She stroked his member through the fabric of his underwear, amazed how it twitched and moved in response to her touch. He grabbed her hand, instructing her to have a tighter grip with her strokes. She snapped the waistband of his underwear, "These are in my way."
"So take them off," he smirked at her. She wasted no time, pulling them down and over his cock. She pulled him in for more kissing, her hand stroking him again. He pulled her tight against him, running his hands up and down her back. He stopped when he got to her bra, lightly tugging on the edge of it. She knew what he wanted, putting her hands in the air so he could remove it. He laughed and snapped it across the room. She put her hands around his neck pulling him down, finding his mouth again with hers.
She started to push him backwards, making him walk a few steps. He stopped, looking at her quizzically. "Keep walking," she said, pushing him towards his chair in the room. He sat down and she climbed up, straddling him. "I'm still mad at you," she reminded him.
"Good," he growled. "Use your anger." He slid his hand under her, finding her already wet and ready. That didn't stop him from taking his thumb and rubbing circles around her clit, starting slowly then going faster. She bit her lip and leaned forward, putting her hands on his wide shoulders. She started to grind against his hand, instinct taking over. Leaning forward, he took one of her breasts in his mouth and sucked on the nipple hard. She let out a gasp and then a moan as he continued to work her nipple with his tongue. He slipped a finger inside of her, causing her to cry out. She was slick and wet against the leather of his gloves and she almost asked him to take them off, but then was lost in his movements. He worked a steady rhythm, then slipped a second finger inside, making her grind down on his hand.
With his mouth working her nipple, his thumb on her clit and with his fingers inside of her, Rey felt like she was going to explode. All of these sensations at once had her head spinning, but in a good way. She took one of her hands and ran it through his hair, pushing him into her breast harder. He took her nipple into his teeth and pulled slightly, sending electricity through her entire body. It gave her the urgent need to have him inside of her now. She pushed herself up from his hand, her body shaking. He seemed to know what she wanted, what she needed. He took his hand and put it on his member, guiding it to her opening. She gasped a little, feeling it start to enter her, then she slid down further on her own, slowly until he was fully inside of her. She let out a satisfied groan and started to move upward, but he put his hands on her hips and firmly pushed her down, putting himself even further into her. She let out a cry and her eyes went wide, but it felt good.
With his hands still on her hips, he started to slowly buck his, driving up and into her. Rey put her hands over his, lacing their fingers together. She started to move her hips to match his slow, grinding rhythm. "Oh, you are a good girl, Rey," he said with a moan.
She looked at him with nothing but desire in her eyes, "I thought you wanted me to be bad, Ben."
He growled, hearing her use his proper name. It stirred something feral inside of him, something he couldn't explain. "Dark isn't bad, especially on you," he had never felt a connection with a woman like this before. Their Force bond weaved in and out of their bodies and around them, making every touch more intense, every feeling deeper.
"I'll be dark for you," the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them and she didn't care. The only thing she cared about was that he was inside of her and it felt exquisite. She started to move her hips faster, quickening her rhythm on him. She felt her orgasm start to build up inside of her, like a storm ready to hit. Wave after wave rushed upon her, making her cry out with each one. Finally, like a dam bursting, she climaxed, clenching around him tight and he pushed further up into her, intensifying the sensation.
He watched her with amazement. He'd never seen anyone so beautiful, so sensual before. She was unlike any other woman he had ever known. She was pure, innocent yet dark. What she lacked in experience she made up for instinctually and her instincts were dark. She had no experience, yet knew exactly what to do. A perfect balance…
She brought her hand to his face and lovingly caressed his cheek, lightly tracing the scar she had left there with her thumb. "You could have had this fixed, but you didn't." Her statement was more of a question.
He turned his head and kissed her hand, "I didn't want to have it fixed. It reminds me of you and because of it I'll always have a part of you with me, something you did, something to alter me, something to physically show me what you've done to the rest of me." He leaned up and kissed her. "But now that you're good and ready, it's my turn." He gave her a devilish grin. He grasped her around the waist and stood up, surprising her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around him. He loved how easily he could move her small frame around. She was small, but sturdy. Lean muscles from years of hard work on Jakku, yet soft and supple on her curves. He carried her into his bedroom, laying her down on the mat. "I'm sorry I don't have a bed-"
"I don't care," she said, interrupting him. "I just need you." She heard a low growl in his throat as he leaned down and took possession of her mouth. He slid his knee between her legs and used his hand to force them apart, causing her to gasp, but also smile. He positioned himself between them, using his hands to push her thighs back, raising her to just the right angle for him to enter. She ran her hands down his sides to his waist and pulled, encouraging him, but he stopped short, his cock just grazing her, causing her to squirm with anticipation. "What are you waiting for?"
He laughed, "I'm teasing you, making you wait."
She made an unhappy face, "That's not very nice."
"I'm not very nice," he said as he plunged into her hard. She cried out his name. He leaned back and grabbed her hips, not letting them go back to the floor. His gloved hands felt hot and smooth against her skin. She wrapped her legs around him, not sure what to expect and not caring. He was in her and that's the only thing that mattered, the only thing she wanted.
He started slow, trying to keep an even pace so he could savor every inch of her, but he couldn't control himself. There was no making love this time; this was straight primal sex and he drilled into her over and over. Rey couldn't see straight, couldn't think straight, she had never felt anything so damn good in her whole life. She was breathing hard, her hands gripping the mat beneath them, a moan coming out with every stroke until her voice rose to a yell, saying his name over and over. "Ben!"
Hearing her scream his name like that made him lose control. A wave of pleasure came over him as he put himself into her as deeply as he could, filling her with his seed. She felt him throb as he came and she clenched down on him involuntarily, making him shudder. As his orgasm finished, he thrust into her a few more times before pulling out and falling on the mat next to her on his back. She rolled over and cuddled up next to him, her head on his chest. She shivered a bit, "I'm cold, Ben."
His let go of his usual hesitation about sharing his blanket with anyone. She had been kind enough to honor him with herself, so he pulled the blanket up over them and she nestled further into him. He reverently kissed the top of her head, wrapping his arm around her, "I lo-..." he stopped himself before the words fully came out.
She looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise. She was overcome with emotion and didn't trust herself to speak. He loved her. Relief washed over her, all of her worries and fears melting away. "Oh, Ben…" she whispered. He rolled onto his side as she reached for his face, taking his lips with her own. Their kiss was fervent and laced with emotion, their Force Bond swelling the space between them, more intense than ever before.
"You can't leave me, Rey," Ben cupped her face in his hands, the look in his eyes pleading. She'd never seen him so vulnerable before. If she thought she was in love with him before, she hadn't scratched the surface. The look in his eyes made her heart plunge to depths she had never imagined possible.
"I won't," she whispered. He held her tightly and she laid her head on his chest again, clinging to him. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Was she serious or was she just caught up in the moment? He didn't care. Right now, it was enough; it gave him hope. She was thinking about it. He was pulling her closer to the Dark Side and closer to him; that's all that mattered.