Reference to and dialogue from: 'The Pirate Solution'; 'The Einstein Approximation'; 'The Apology Insufficiency'; 'The Closure Alternative'; 'The Rothman Disintegration'
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Raj came to the lunch table with tray in hand and scowl on his face. He sat down in a huff and paused before glaring at Leonard.
"Your roommate's an arrogant ass," he said firmly.
"So, Raj, how's it going working with Sheldon?" asked Leonard with a wide smirk.
"I never should have agreed to work on our dark matter-oh, I'm sorry-his dark matter project since I'm working for him not with him," growled Raj.
"Yeah, but you'd be punted out of the country if he didn't give you a job," Howard reminded him. He shook his head. "Believe it or not, Sheldon's the good guy in all this. Still crazy as hell but that's a given."
Raj gave out a deep, heartfelt sigh.
"It's just that he's all over the place. First we're designing an experiment to look for the annihilation spectrum resulting from dark matter collisions in space, then he's muttering things about unit cells containing two carbon atoms and making a flow chart of the third Matrix movie."
"Well he does like to multitask," said Leonard before taking a forkful of rice.
"Leonard, I don't have a problem with that. What I have a problem with is that he's wrong and too stubborn to admit it. We spent all night going over the parameters and you know what happened? Not only did he underestimate the atomic weight of the dark matter particle, but he also kept picking the peas out of the fried rice and positioning them around the chicken balls." Raj sighed again. "At this rate his project will be cancelled and I'll be on a plane headed back to India." He looked down at his plate. "Goodbye Beefaroni."
"Okay, I'll talk to Sheldon," said Leonard. "He's been kind of distracted since he went on his date with Penny. I caught him using a stick of butter as deodorant on Sunday while he was looking over his workbook in the kitchen."
"Guess the Shelbot's having some firmware problems," said Howard as he chewed his corn. "As Data proved it's difficult adding an emotion chip."
Sheldon entered the cafeteria and came over to the table. He sat and opened his workbook and read over a few lines before writing. Leonard looked over his roommate, noting the stubble on Sheldon's face and the dark patch under his eyes.
"Sheldon," said Leonard. Nothing. "Sheldon!" The lanky physicist looked over.
"Electrons move through graphene, act as if they have no mass," he replied and returned to his workbook.
Raj put down his fork. "Sheldon, I still stand by my equation."
"Yes, you should," mumbled Sheldon as he read. "It's correct."
The astrophysicist dropped his jaw in shock but quickly recovered.
"Thank you," he said.
"For what?"
"Admitting you were wrong."
Sheldon regarded him. "I did no such thing."
"But you said I was right!" gasped Raj.
"We agreed on that. Your conversation is redundant." Sheldon returned to his workbook.
"Anyways," said Howard. "Bernie and I are going out to Disco Night at the Moonlight Roller Rink in Glendale tonight. Any takers?"
"I'm up for getting down," said Raj.
"I'm not sure," said Leonard. "I don't think Joyce is a roller skating kind of girl."
"Hard to pilfer State secrets while boogying," mumbled Sheldon as he wrote.
"What are you talking about?" Leonard asked.
"Interior angle of a hexagon is one hundred and twenty degrees."
"No, I mean about Joyce!"
Sheldon stopped what he was doing and stared at Raj's plate.
"Lima beans are carbon atoms." He nodded and stood. "Lima beans are carbon atoms and peas are electrons and Joyce Kim is a North Korean spy." He darted towards the food line.
The table was silent until a low chuckle came from Howard.
"You know, every time I think things can't get much weirder Sheldon manages to find that extra level of crazy," he said.
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Penny came in the lobby after her shift at the Cheesecake Factory. Tonight's tips had been decent and she had the bonus of bringing home a caramel cheesecake that the busboy didn't sneeze on.
As she pressed the elevator button and entered she thought about bringing the cake over to 4A but thought otherwise. Since their date she'd only seen Sheldon at group gatherings and he seemed kind of distracted so she interpreted it as him trying to sort out his feelings over what happened. Amy was pleased as punch when Penny gave her the details but then things got a little weird a few days later when the neurobiologist called her up and had her go over Sheldon's behavior on the trip. After receiving what felt to Penny like a cross-examination she asked Amy what was going on but Amy gave some excuse that she had another call and promptly hung up.
"Well like it or not, Sheldon's going to the park if I have to-"
"We're not separating from the United States, Sheldon!" Leonard's voice.
"What the frak?" said Penny as the elevator opened on her floor. She went to 4A and knocked once before opening the door.
"Dr. Hofstadter, need I remind you that we no longer function under the Roommate Agreement," Sheldon spat back from his position by the whiteboard.
"'Sup, guys?" she asked as she took in the fuming physicists.
"I'll tell you what's up," snapped Leonard as he gestured to Sheldon. "Your whatever he is has lost his mind!"
"I'm not crazy," growled Sheldon. "My mother had me tested."
"Whoa, whoa, let's calm down," soothed Penny. "Let's start at the beginning. Who's separating from the U.S.?"
"Sheldon wants this apartment under sovereign rule," said Leonard. "He was working on whatever on the whiteboard while I was watching Babylon 5. He made a comment and I said this was a free country and here we are." He picked up a bunch of colored papers from the coffee table. "He even has currency."
"Sheldon, honey, does this have to do with the Roommate Agreement?" asked Penny.
"This is about sovereignty!" Sheldon countered. "While Dr. Hofstadter believes that watching third rate television and consorting with North Korean spies are-"
"Joyce is not a spy!" snapped Leonard.
Sheldon snorted. "You're right. She just happens to be interested in you right at the point you're working on a secret Government rocket fuel project."
"She doesn't know about my job," said Leonard. "And how the hell did you know about it?"
"I came in and saw a formula on your board while you were in the washroom," said the lanky physicist. "Perhaps it's lucky you do live in the United States as they now incarcerate rather than shoot people for treason."
"You're crazy!"
"No I'm not," Sheldon said coldly. "Here's our new pledge of allegiance." He gestured to his whiteboard. "Memorize it. Your citizenship test is Monday." Sheldon retreated to his room.
"That was weird," said Penny.
"You want weird?" said Leonard as he went to his computer desk before handing Penny a little booklet. "For you."
"What's this?"
"A passport."
Penny handed Leonard the booklet and cake. She sprayed the bottom of her shoes and went down the hall to Sheldon's room.
"Okay Sheldon, what's going on?" she asked as she turned the handle. The door was locked. "Sheldon," she said again.
"I'm not associating with people who cohort with spies," said Sheldon from his room.
"I'm sure Joyce isn't a spy," Penny cooed. "Come on, open the door and-"
"Why doesn't anyone believe me! Not Leonard, not you, not the FBI."
Penny blanched. "You called the Feds?"
"They seemed all interested. They always do until you ask them to follow up and then they patronize you. They didn't follow up when I sent them a bag of dog feces for fingerprinting that someone had left on my porch and they aren't now."
"Sweetie-"
The lock turned and the door flew open and Penny took a step back as Sheldon stood there with an intensity she'd never seen.
"You're my friend," he said icily. "You're supposed to believe me."
"Sheldon, I-"
"Wrong answer." He slammed the door and locked it.
Penny stood in the hall, unsure of what to do. After a moment she returned to the living room.
"So what do we do?" asked Leonard.
"We call his mother," Penny replied.
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"We should have done this a while ago," Leonard said cheerily as he glanced at his notebook before adding a beaker of red liquid into a metal vat.
"It's been a long time since I've flown a rocket," agreed Joyce as she poured the potassium nitrate into a measuring cup. She stopped and looked at Leonard's notebook before continuing to pour the correct measurement. "However, this is a strange way to make homemade rocket fuel."
"Well, it isn't completely homemade," said Leonard. "Although it is my own concoction."
"Really?" Joyce said brightly.
"Just something I've been doodling with," the physicist said with a puffed chest. "It'll really give the rockets a boost."
A knock at the door and then Howard and Raj appeared with rockets in hand.
"Afternoon sir," said Howard. "Mademoiselle. Got the rocket fuel made yet?"
"Just about," said Leonard as he poured in another liquid into the vat.
Sheldon came down the hall.
"I heard a knock," he said. He looked but there was no Penny and he felt a tad disappointed even though he was still mad at her for calling his mother.
"We'll be out of your hair shortly," said Leonard.
Sheldon snorted and went to the refrigerator for a bottled water. He noted Joyce staring at Leonard's notebook. His eyes scanned the page and he snorted again.
"I wouldn't waste your time memorizing that," he said. "The formula's wrong."
"What?" said Joyce. "I'm not memorizing anything!"
"Sheldon, what did your mother tell you?" Leonard reminded him with a frown.
"Be that as it may, I know that if I was a North Korean spy I'd make sure the formula I was stealing was at least usable," Sheldon said haughtily.
"Of course it's accurate," snapped Leonard. "The numbers look off because I've cut down the size of the vat."
Sheldon visibly paled.
"You mean you've mixed this?!" he said incredulously. "Leonard, your ratios are off!"
"You know Sheldon," Leonard said as he poured in a test tube of yellow liquid into the vat. "Just for once I'd like you to respect that I'm-" The liquid in the vat began to bubble. "-In trouble!" He picked up the vat. "Open the door!"
Howard ran to the door as Leonard quickly carried the vat out of the apartment.
"Looks like you'll disappoint your superiors," Sheldon said to Joyce, who narrowed her eyes and glared in response.
"Come on, come on," muttered Leonard as he waited for the elevator. As soon as it opened his eyes widened. "Penny?!" he gasped as he saw his neighbor. "Get out of there!"
"Leonard wha-"
Sheldon darted out of the apartment and pushed Penny aside before taking the vat from Leonard and placing it inside the elevator. He then pressed the down button and slipped out before the doors closed. Without missing a beat he forcibly pushed Penny to her door and covered her body with his own.
A blast came from the elevator followed by smoke.
Sheldon stood back to regard his neighbor.
"You're alright?" he asked softly. Penny nodded dumbly. He turned and walked past Howard and Leonard. "You're welcome," he said crisply and entered his apartment.
"What the hell happened?" Penny sputtered.
"You mean besides a Federal crime?" Howard said hoarsely.
"Not in the hall!" said Leonard and he pushed Howard and Raj into the apartment and closed the door.
"Nice try," said Penny as she opened the door and stepped inside.
"Penny, it's best if you're not involved," said Leonard.
"You tried to blow me up. I'm involved," said the Nebraskan firmly.
"Look, as long as we don't say anything we can pretend it was some kind of pipe bomb or something." Leonard began to pace. "We all have to agree we were in the apartment and didn't see a thing."
"You all saved my butt with the Rover so I'm in," said Howard. They turned to Raj, who nodded.
"Penny?" Leonard pleaded.
"I suppose," she said.
"Great. Joyce?" Leonard looked around the apartment. "Joyce? You can come out. We didn't die." Silence greeted him so Leonard went down the hall. "Joyce?"
A moment later he returned, his face ashen.
"She's gone! Oh my God she's going to tell someone!" moaned Leonard.
"She won't say a word," Sheldon said evenly as he went to the refrigerator for another bottled water. "It'll blow her cover." He picked up his first bottle by the neck, making sure not to touch the base. "I suggest you dispose of your instruments somewhere other than the garbage disposal. Latex gloves are in the washroom so you won't leave fingerprints." He turned and went to his bedroom.
"You heard the man, Leonard," said Howard with a clap of the hands. "Get moving before Kim Jong-il sends his enforcers."
Leonard glared before dashing to the sink and began to run the dish water.
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As Penny walked up the stairs she could hear people descending.
"At least we've still got comic book night," said Howard cheerily.
"That's right," replied Raj equally as enthusiastic. "Remember it's bros before-" He spotted Penny come around the corner and clamped his mouth shut.
"Hey guys," said Penny. "Where's Sheldon?"
"He's not coming," said Leonard in a low key tone. "He's too busy working on something he's been stuck on."
"Ah." The Nebraskan smiled sympathetically at her neighbor. "You okay since Joyce broke up with you?"
"She didn't dump me," Leonard said with a frown before his bravado left and his shoulders slumped. "She defected."
Penny's eyes widened. "Seriously? You mean Sheldon was right?"
"Can we not discuss this?" Leonard sighed.
"Sure," said Penny. "Um, have a good time."
The three friends slipped past her and Penny continued to make her way to her floor. She automatically went to 4A and knocked out her incomplete shave-and-a-haircut and opened the door. Inside she spotted Sheldon staring at his whiteboard. It'd been four days since she'd seen him as work got crazy and Leonard thought it best she stay away in case Homeland Security raided the apartment.
"Sheldon?" she said. No response. She sprayed her feet and stepped inside. "Honey, it's new comic book night."
"No time," he said distractedly. He moved to the whiteboard and changed a number and stepped back.
"Okay well I'll-"
"No, no, no!" He went back and erased what he'd done and put in another number. "Hexagonal, Dr. Cooper. It's always hexagonal. Quit being so stupid and think!"
"Maybe you should take a break," Penny said soothingly. Sheldon snorted and turned to face her. in that moment her stomach tightened as he appeared disheveled with stubble on his face and looking positively exhausted. "How 'bout you take a nap or something? You look wiped."
"Can't. The pattern is the same as fermions."
Penny had no idea what he was doing; all she knew was that it had to stop.
"Sheldon, when's the last time you slept?"
"I had four hours sleep Sunday night."
"Sweetie, it's Wednesday. You need some sleep."
"No, what I need is an answer!" he snapped.
"To what?" she asked.
"Why electrons behave as if they have no mass when travelling through a graphene sheet."
"I'm sure if you leave it be it'll come to you." She brightened. "Ya wanna try some more Penny Blossoms?"
"No, the sparkles are too tiny to function as proper atoms." At once Sheldon's eyes widened. "Atoms!" He darted into his bedroom.
Penny shook her head. She'd never seen him this flustered before. Actually, there'd lately been a lot of things she'd never seen before. Gone was the awkward man who stared at her shoulder as he talked and in his place was-what? Sometimes Sheldon was all outgoing and whimsical-He kissed me-although there were times she could see how hard this was on him.
The physicist returned with a purple sack in hand.
"What I need is to visualize the atoms." He opened the bag and dumped marbles on the floor.
"Sheldon, what the hell?!" gasped Penny as she watched marbles scatter in every direction.
Immediately Sheldon dropped down to his hands and knees and began organizing the different sized marbles into hexagonal patterns.
She went to her friend's side and crouched.
"Moonpie, please go to bed," she said softly.
"Just let me figure this out first," he replied, his eyes not wavering from the marbles as he aligned them.
Penny took in his hands' frenzied work before reaching out and grabbing them.
"Sheldon!"
"Let me do this!" he hissed. "I'm a physicist. I theorize. It's what I do." She released his hands and he went back to work. "The pattern is the same as fermions."
After a moment to regard him Penny stood and exited the apartment.
"Travels on the pathways, hexagonal," mumbled Sheldon. "It's what I do."
XxX
At the knock at her door Penny paused her Sex and the City dvd and went to answer.
"Can I stay here a while?" asked Leonard. "I'll read some comic books or something."
"Why?" asked Penny even as she stood back to let him enter.
"Sheldon's crashed on the living room floor and I don't want to disturb him."
Penny returned to the couch and sat, turning off her television as Leonard settled himself at the other end of the couch. "He said he hadn't slept since Sunday."
"That's probably accurate," said Leonard. "I was getting ready to slip some Lunesta into a glass of milk if this went on much longer."
"Yeah," Penny said with a pensive look.
"Penny, I-"
"I'm worried, Leonard."
A crooked smile cocked his lips. "Took the words out of my mouth." He shrugged. "Maybe I should reinstate the Roommate Agreement, only..." Here he sighed. "Why is it so damn hard for him to just say 'thank you' when I do something for him? That's all I'm asking, treat me like a friend and I'll be one back." He shook his head. "It's like asking for the moon."
"It's nothing personal, Leonard," soothed Penny. "I don't think very many people were nice to him so he hides himself."
"Well it is kind of hard to like him sometimes," said Leonard.
"Frustrating to the point where I wanna pull my hair out," agreed Penny. She slumped against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. "Leonard, if you met someone who was totally unlike anybody you ever met and you knew she liked you and you liked her would you go out with her?"
"You mean could I overlook the crazy."
"Yeah."
"I don't know," he said seriously. "There's crazy and there's bat-crap crazy."
"I know." She sighed and closed her eyes before turning to regard her friend. "Sheldon's never been like this before and I don't know what to do. Our date was amazing yet at the same time I could see that some things were really bothering him and yet he did them anyways. It's like he's fighting to be someone he's not and I just want him to know that I..."
"You?"
"I liked him the way he was," Penny simply said. "Don't get me wrong, he needs to have less crazy in his life but I thought he was stepping out a little at a time and that was fine with me." She pursed her lips. "This doesn't feel right."
Leonard nodded. "I know. Let's get him over this physics problem and then we'll sit him down."
Penny got up. "Come on, we're getting him to bed."
The pair crossed the hall and entered 4A to find Sheldon asleep curled in front of his whiteboard.
"Sheldon," said Penny softly as she tugged gently on his arm. "Come on sweetie, time for bed."
"Working," he mumbled although he did raise himself onto his hands and knees.
"You can work on this later," soothed Leonard who took Sheldon's other arm and together with Penny got the lanky physicist to a standing position.
Leaning heavily on his friends, Sheldon staggered his way to his bedroom where he was set down on his bed.
"Can't be in my room," he mumbled as Penny took off his shoes.
"Not now, Sheldon," she replied as she laid him on the bed.
"'Kay."
"Night, night, sweetie."
"Love you, too," he mumbled half asleep and then he was out.
Penny stared wide-eyed until she felt a little nudge by Leonard and the pair left the sleeping man alone. In the living room, she bee-lined for the couch and flumped down in Sheldon's spot.
"Tea?" asked Leonard. Penny looked at him in a daze. "It's non-optional," he smirked.
Penny gave a little smile and he proceeded to take two mugs out of the cupboard.
"Guess Sheldon upped the ante," he said as he took out the tea and two loose tea holders.
"A little bit," agreed Penny.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know, okay?" she snapped. "I mean I like him but I-" She shook her head. "Leonard we had one date."
"But you've known each other for a while. Maybe he means he loves you in a platonic way?"
"He sure didn't kiss me like a brother," Penny countered.
"He kissed you?" Leonard gasped.
"Well, I kissed him. We both kinda kissed each other in round two."
"Wow." Leonard put the kettle on the stove to heat. "Well, mother will be pleased she was right about him liking you." He came back and leaned his folded arms on the counter. "You're his first girlfriend and Sheldon's fallen hard so whatever you decide be gentle about it."
"I'm not his girlfriend."
Leonard snorted. "I'm willing to bet you didn't kiss him like a sister." Penny made to speak. "Besides, right from the start you had a 'mess with Sheldon and I'll kick your ass' vibe to you. Yeah, the two of you are friends but that doesn't mean he can't love you." He paused. "That isn't so bad, is it?"
"But it's one date and a couple of kisses," she protested.
"And tell me in what universe Sheldon would ever kiss or go on a date?" said Leonard. "I'd do the math but it could take a while."
Penny slowly shook her head. "Justin warned me I'd fuck Sheldon up."
"You didn't fuck him up. You showed him possibilities," Leonard said gently. "You showed him a whole new way of thinking and being that he's never had before. You're good for him and he knows it."
"He's good for me, too," Penny agreed. "Taurus and Sagittarius. Could work."
"I just wouldn't phrase it that way to him," replied Leonard.
Penny winked and he turned with a chuckle to get the kettle.
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Penny frowned as she heard raised voices. As she came out of sleep she realized that, indeed, she did hear shouts and that they were most definitely Sheldon and Leonard.
"Oh balls," she said and darted out of bed. She went out in the hall to see the door to 4A wide open so she went inside.
"Sheldon?" she asked. "Leonard?" She quickly went down the hall but as far as she could tell the apartment was empty.
As she returned to the living room a pajama clad Leonard came around the corner wheezing.
"Inhaler," he gasped and Penny rushed to his bedroom. Fortunately the physicist kept it on his bedside table so she readily found it and brought it to him. He shook it and took a huff. Once he let it out he sank back against the couch.
"Where's Sheldon?" asked Penny.
"He saw that the marbles were moved and he flipped out and ran," he gasped.
"Son of a bitch," growled Penny as she dashed to her apartment to get changed.
"I'm gonna kill him," she muttered while changing clothes although she knew that she was first going to give him a big hug and make sure Sheldon was okay. Then she'd most definitely kill him.
Grabbing her keys, she slipped into a pair of comfortable flats and locked her apartment before returning to 4A.
"Hey Shirley, it's Leonard Hofstadter," Leonard said, simultaneously slipping a t-shirt over his head and talking on his cell phone as he came down the hall. "Dr. Cooper and I won't be in today. I'm afraid he's pulling a Dr. Rothman. ... Yes. ...That's right. ...Yes, as soon as possible. ...Thanks."
"Pulling a Dr. Rothman?" asked Penny as Leonard put on his jacket and jammed his feet into his running shoes.
"Theoretical physicists tend to go nuts after a while. Dr. Rothman's shown up at work a couple of times without his clothes." He grabbed his keys from the bowl and they exited the apartment.
"You're kidding," Penny said. Leonard finished locking up and the pair dashed down the stairs.
"Theoretical physics isn't for the weak-willed," Leonard countered.
They went to his car and got in.
"So where do you think he's gone?" he asked as he started the car.
"Dunno. It's too early for the comic book store," mused Penny.
"Here." Leonard handed her his cell phone. "Call Howard."
"Seriously?"
"I'd say call Raj but, you know."
Penny sighed and dialed. The things I do for you, Shellybean...
To her surprise a gravelly-voiced woman answered.
"Hello?"
"Uh, hi. Is Howard there?"
"Where else would he be at this ungodly hour?"
"Sorry about that but I really gotta talk to him."
"Just a moment. ... HOW-ARD! GET THE PHONE! … I DON"T KNOW WHO IT IS. IT'S A LADY."
"Hello. Howard Wolowitz here."
"Hey Howard it's Penny."
"Well, this is an unexpected surprise. I—NO I'M NOT TWO-TIMING BERNADETTE WITH A FLOOZY! IT'S PENNY ON THE PHONE! PENNY! LEONARD'S NEIGHBOR! Sorry about that. So what's up?"
"Leonard said Sheldon's Dr. Rothman-ed."
"Dear God. He hasn't turned into a super villain has he?"
"Of course he's not a super villain." Penny looked to Leonard. "Right?"
"Put it on speaker," said Leonard. "Howard, I'm not going to work today. Penny and I will try to hunt Sheldon down and get him home. Just keep an eye out for him at work and call me if you see him."
"Fair enough," replied Howard. "I'll let Raj know."
"Thanks," said Penny. "Bye Howard."
"Later, ma cherie."
"You got Amy's number?" asked Penny.
Leonard shook his head. "She's Sheldon's friend."
Penny nodded and dug out her own phone and dialed.
"Ames? We've got trouble. … Sheldon's run away. He was stuck working on something and he just freaked. … Leonard and I are looking for him now. It's really early so he might be on his way to your place. … Sure. I'll keep you posted. … Give me a call if…. Okay, thanks. "
Leonard pursed his lips. "It's a trip but there's always the model train shop in—"
"Try the park. I saw him there a few times flying kites," said Penny as she put her phone away. Pause. "Leonard I'm scared. Sheldon's never done this before."
Leonard shrugged. "As long as you've known him you mean. Doesn't mean he hasn't cracked before. When I first met him he was barely human."
Penny smiled grimly. "He could barely look me in the eye." Leonard nodded. "More like glances. He still does it, actually."
"His autism."
Penny turned to her neighbor. "I just thought he was weird. I didn't know he was that."
"As you know my mother's a psychiatrist," said Leonard as he made a right. "One of her sidelines is autism spectrum disorder. I read a few of her articles when I was a kid."
"Man, I keep forgetting all of you guys are geniuses."
"Yeah. Between our Star Trek uniforms and comic book night the genius thing kinda gets lost in the shuffle."
"Yeah, kinda." They smiled at each other.
The next few minutes were spent in silence as Leonard made his way to the parking lot at the park.
"Where to?" he asked as they got out of the car.
"The central part. He flies his kites there," replied Penny.
The pair began walking the trail.
"If he's not here do we call the police?" she asked.
Leonard shook his head. "It hasn't been twenty four hours."
"Yeah, but he's upset." She looked to Leonard. "He isn't suicidal, is he?"
"I don't think so. Of anything he seemed dissociative."
"Meaning?"
"Not plugged into reality."
Penny snorted grimly. "Sounds like a physics thing."
"More of a Sheldon thing. It's part of what makes him a great physicist."
"He's that good, huh?"
"Yeah, he's that good."
They walked in silence until they got to the central park.
"I don't see him," said Penny as she glanced around. "You go one way and I'll go the other."
As Penny walked she pulled out her phone. It was way too early to call work but even so she had a sinking feeling she wouldn't get off her shift. From what she remembered the manager was grumbling about being short-staffed this week. She sighed in frustration. The best she could do was look for Sheldon before her shift and hope to hell Leonard or Howard found him while she was working.
"Crap on a cracker," she growled as she scanned the park. "Where the hell are you, Sheldon?"
XxX
Amy lost count of how many times she paced her apartment. She'd called in sick, which wasn't a complete lie since she was sick with worry. Besides, she had to stay here in case Sheldon showed up. Her apartment was far enough away that it'd be a real trek for him. Checking on Leonard's Facebook page, which had unofficially become home base for Sheldon's search party, she noted that Leonard searched Sheldon's room and found his cell phone and wallet so wherever Sheldon was he didn't have the financial means to extricate himself from his situation.
Amy sat at her harp and listlessly ran a finger down the strings. Her and her stupid idea to loosen Sheldon up. It was obvious that he was infatuated with Penny- How could anyone not be?-and Project Gorilla was supposed to be the means for him to communicate his affection. Amy thought they'd hit a homerun when Sheldon and Penny kissed but now this was an unmitigated disaster. Sheldon needed a little encouragement and Amy gave him the equivalent of shoving him off a cliff.
"Please be okay, Sheldon," she sighed.
XxX
Bernadette drifted over to Penny carrying a serving tray with dirty dishes.
"Anything yet?" she squeaked worriedly.
"No," sighed Penny. "Howard and Raj are at Leonard's trying to figure out what to do and Stuart posted that he told the guys at the comic shop to look out for Sheldon. Amy hasn't seen him. Work hasn't seen him. And this last hour of shift is taking too damn long!"
"Don't worry Penny, we'll be there shortly," Bernadette said encouragingly.
"I just want Sheldon there shortly," mumbled Penny and took her tray into the kitchen.
XxX
Penny and Bernadette came up the stairs and heard voices in apartment 4A. With a hopeful heart they entered to find Leonard, Raj and Howard sitting around the table eating pizza.
"Taking a break," Leonard said between munches.
Penny nodded grimly. "I'll be right back." She slipped into her apartment and changed into comfy clothes before returning. Leonard offered her a slice of pizza, which she took.
"So what's the plan?" asked Howard.
"Hit up Starbucks and keep looking," said Penny as she chewed.
Leonard checked his watch. "Nine hours before we can call the police."
"You guys don't have to stay," said Penny.
"Howie and I can look for a couple of hours and then I've got to head home since I've got class in the morning," said Bernadette.
Raj whispered in Howard's ear. "Raj can drive by himself and he's here for the long haul."
Penny smiled. "Thanks Raj."
They finished eating and cleaned up.
"Okay so the stores are closed so we should just roam around and see what we can find," said Leonard.
"Will do, commander," saluted Howard and Bernadette and he left the apartment.
Penny looked at Leonard. "If it's okay I'll ride with you. My car's nearly out of gas and—"
"It's okay, Penny," Leonard replied.
Raj gave the thumb's up and departed. On a whim Leonard picked up the landline and changed the message.
"If you are calling in regard to Dr. Sheldon Cooper please call Dr. Leonard Hofstadter at 626 837 8601. Thank you."
Penny put on a brave face. "Let's get crackin'."
XxX
An hour became two and then three and still there was no sign of the lanky physicist. Penny ran over his odd behavior since they'd gotten back from Toronto and wondered if she'd done something to cause all this. Suddenly he went from Awkward Pete to Hepcat Charlie and— His lips began to move with hers and the kiss became that much more. Penny's stomach made a flip. She'd find him even if—
Leonard's phone rang and he hit the speaker button.
"Hello?" he asked.
"I'm looking for Dr. Leonard Hofstadter regarding Sheldon," said a man's voice.
"I'm Dr. Hofstadter."
"I'm Rob at the Kidzone on Gerard Avenue South. I found Sheldon on the premises and managed to get a phone number out of him."
"I'll be right there! And thanks for not calling the police."
"My sister's son is special so I know the drill when he's having a bad day."
"We'll be there in about fifteen minutes. Thanks again."
Penny let out an anxious squeal and proceeded to text Raj.
Even though Leonard was pushing the speed limit it seemed to take forever to arrive at the kiddy playland. They got out of the car and Leonard knocked at the door. A moment and then a short security guard with a modest pot belly came to let them in.
"He's in the ball pit and I can't get him to come out," explained Rob.
They entered the play area and spotted Sheldon up to his waist in colored plastic balls sorting them out by color on the ledge.
"Hey Sheldon. Whatcha doing?" Leonard asked gently.
"Building carbon atoms," Sheldon said distractedly. "Size ratio was all wrong. Couldn't visualize it." His whole body seemed to involuntarily twitch as he continued to work.
Penny slipped into the ball pit and made her way to him.
"Come on Sheldon," she said soothingly. "Time to go home."
"But I'm not finished," he replied, not wavering from his task.
"We've got the marbles at the apartment."
"Too small."
Penny looked helplessly at Leonard.
"We can go pick up some tennis balls tomorrow," he said.
"Need to work now," countered Sheldon.
"Sheldon." Penny touched his arm and he jerked away with such violence that he fell into the balls. Quickly he stood up and continued sorting.
"I'm a physicist. I theorize," he said, his voice a heavy Texas twang.
"I know."
"Molecular motion is responsible for major thermodynamic occurrences. Ice cubes don't form in hot water. The universe is expanding. Movements are randomized at high speeds. Carbon atoms are hexagons. Always hexagons."
Slowly Penny moved to him and wrapped her arms around his slender frame.
"It's okay, Sheldon," she cooed.
"No, it's not okay," he countered. He slumped against her. "It's far, far from okay."
"Shh."
"Penny, I can't find the answer," he whispered.
"Shelly, we've got to see someone about this," Leonard said gently.
Sheldon closed his eyes and rested his chin on Penny's head. He breathed in her apple scent before turning to his roommate and nodded his head.
Penny took his hand and together they left the ball pit.
XxX
Penny sat in the car beside Sheldon in the back seat. She was unsure whether she was exhausted, relieved or scared shitless about what was happening. Her eyes went to Sheldon who was quietly tracing out what she thought were math symbols on his left thigh. Every once in a while he'd mutter something science-y under his breath. She had tried to pat his arm in comfort but he jerked it away and recited science stuff even louder so she let him be.
They pulled into a parking spot at the hospital and Leonard and Penny got out.
"Come on, Shelly," said Leonard as he opened Sheldon's door.
Sheldon shook his head. "My board's at home."
"We'll bring it to you later."
"Come on, Sheldon," said Penny as she came to Leonard's side.
"I want my Meemaw," Sheldon twanged.
"I'll call your mom and we'll see what we can do but right now you have to come with me."
He nodded and got out of the car and the three friends made their way to the emergency room. Penny took Sheldon to a corner and sat him down while Leonard went to the desk with Sheldon's wallet in hand to check him in.
"I shouldn't be here," said Sheldon. "Hospital acquired infections kill forty eight thousand people annually."
"It'll be fine," said Penny as she looked to Leonard, hoping like hell he'd hurry up.
"I need to have my friend evaluated," Leonard said to the receptionist. "He's having a break down."
"Name?" she replied.
"Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
"ID?"
"Sure." Leonard opened Sheldon's wallet and blanched. "Well, I have his Justice League Membership, his university ID and an identity card for the new country he formed when he separated the apartment from the United States. Which do you want?"
"I don't want to be here!" shouted Sheldon.
Leonard turned to his friend who was now standing, his arms wrapped tightly around himself.
The receptionist picked up the phone. "I need security pronto. Code Grey."
"Sheldon, it's okay," said Penny as she grabbed his arm and didn't let go.
"Don't touch me!" Sheldon said hysterically. "Bacteria will compromise my immune system!"
The doors opened and two security officers came out followed by two orderlies and a nurse. The officers bee-lined to Sheldon and apprehended him.
"Let go!" screamed Sheldon. "You're infecting me!"
The nurse came over and Sheldon spotted the needle in her hand and promptly fainted.
"Let's get him into a room," said the nurse and the orderlies scooped Sheldon under the shoulders and half-carried him from the room.
XxX
The emergency doors opened and Dr. Stephanie Barnett entered. She spotted Leonard and Penny sitting in a corner and came over to them.
"Hear anything yet?" she asked.
"No. Nothing," Leonard said nervously. "I'm sorry to call you but I didn't know what to do."
"It's okay. Let me see what's what."
Stephanie went to the desk and flashed her ID before disappearing through the inner doors to the hall beyond.
XxX
Penny and Leonard sat exhaustedly in their chairs.
"I can't believe this is happening," said Penny.
Leonard put his phone away. "I texted Raj. I told him to go home and I updated the rest. There's nothing for them to do here." Penny nodded.
Stephanie emerged from the ward into the reception area.
"Sheldon's in on a seventy two hour psychiatric hold," she said.
"Can I see him?" asked Penny.
"He's sedated."
"Please?"
Stephanie nodded and the pair went through the doors.
"If anyone asks you're his fiancée," she told Penny under her breath. "Right now they're going to test him for possible causes such as a brain tumor or drugs."
"He's still getting his brain scanned for Leonard's mom so I don't think it's a tumor," said Penny.
"Agreed. They're going to call her first thing tomorrow just to make sure." The two women came to a stop outside a door. "As a question, you wouldn't know if Sheldon has a psychiatrist?"
"I dunno. He said his mother had him tested so I guess he did at one point. I'm going to call her after."
Stephanie nodded and they entered the room. Immediately Penny's heart broke at the sight of a lab technician drawing blood from a sleeping Sheldon. After a few minutes the technician gathered her equipment and with a sympathetic smile exited the room.
Penny went to Sheldon's side and gently rubbed Sheldon's bare arm. It occurred to her that the last time she saw it he was standing in her apartment with nothing but a towel around his waist. His hair was damp and towel-mussed-a look that she'd seen many men in her life replicate.
But no one was like Sheldon.
She tugged lightly at the hospital gown as if trying to cover his arm. Penny then brushed his long fingers, doing her best not to touch the leather restraint on his wrist.
"He's gonna freak when he finds out he's tied down," she said.
"Right now they want to ensure he's not a danger to himself or others," replied Stephanie as she came over to the bed.
Penny wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand, removing tears she hadn't noticed until now.
"Thanks for coming," she said.
"He drove me up the wall sometimes but I really do like Sheldon," said Stephanie. Penny bent down and kissed his hand. "A friend of mine's working the night shift. He'll keep tabs on Sheldon for us." She placed a hand on Penny's shoulder. "Time to go home, Penny."
The Nebraskan nodded and looked lovingly at Sheldon.
"I'll see you as soon as I can, my honey."
She gently set his hand down and straightened the blankets before the two women left the room.
xTBBTx
"Ah want tuh thank yuh for lettin' me stay here, Leonard," said Mary Cooper as she finished her tea and put the mug in the sink. "It's been nice havin' a home tuh come back tuh every night instead of a hotel room."
"It's the least I can do," replied Leonard before taking a sip of his coffee. "Again, it'd be no big deal taking you and Sheldon to the airport."
"I can take you to the hospital to pick him up," added Penny.
"He was adamant he wanted no visitors," said Mary. "Ah don't want tuh agitate him any more than he is." She smiled. "We'll be fine with a cab."
"Okay." Penny looked up from her seat in Sheldon's spot. "Mrs. Cooper, I'm really sorry about all this."
"Not yuhr fault," soothed Mary. "Shelly's always been wound too tight." She shook her head. "Ah've always regretted not followin' up with the specialist in Houston."
"Well at least he's getting help now," Leonard said.
"Ah'm hopin' some TLC from his Meemaw will do the trick. The hospital's already contacted his family doctor in Galveston so there'll be someone tuh monitor in case there's a relapse."
"How long will he be gone?" Penny asked.
"'Til he don't need tuh be," Mary said with a kindly smile.
XxX
Penny looked around her apartment. This had to be the cleanest it had ever been under her care. She knew she shouldn't be nosy but she couldn't help it; all the while she cleaned she had her apartment door open so she wouldn't miss Sheldon and his mother coming back. She hadn't seen Sheldon since he freaked out and like hell she'd wait until he was back from Galveston to see him again.
"Now we'll get yuh packed, have some lunch an' then we'll be off," said Mary Cooper from the stairwell.
Penny darted to her door and silently closed it. She peeked through the peep hole and saw mother and son come up the stairs to his door. Penny's heart ached as Sheldon's shoulders were slumped and his eyes never left the ground even as Mary opened the door and gently guided him in.
Quickly Penny gathered a laundry basket and some dirty clothes and left it on the couch. She left her door open a crack before grabbing a magazine and settling down beside the basket and tried her best to read.
After an hour Sheldon's door opened and Mary and he emerged carrying suitcases.
"Let me just lock up an' we're off," Mary said cheerily.
Penny popped off the couch and grabbed the laundry basket. This wasn't the best plan in the world but it was one she was going with. She opened the door and made to step out before stopping.
"Oh!" she said in what she thought would be fake surprise but she didn't take into account her reaction to Sheldon who appeared absolutely lifeless. "I can go later," she mumbled.
"It's alright," said Mary. "We can go down together." They began to descend. "We're gettin' tuh the airport early so Shelly won't fuss about missin' the plane."
Penny's eyes flicked to Sheldon but the physicist's gaze was firmly on the steps as he walked.
"Missy will pick us up at the airport an' Meemaw's spendin' the night with us at the house," Mary continued.
"That's nice," Penny said.
They made it to the ground floor.
"Well, yuh take care an' we'll be in touch," said Mary.
"Feel better soon, Sheldon," said Penny.
He walked out the door followed by Mary, leaving Penny standing alone in the lobby.
xTBBTx
Entropy talk: understandinguncertaintyorg-another-look-entropy
A/N: I realize this is a serious chapter but I want to assure you that the story is just about at the end and that it is NOT a downer by any means of the imagination.
There was an excellent blog entry on Tumblr by Ode to Abigail (ragnaroktopustumblrcompost333539800771: 'I finally watched the Big Bang Theory today...') that talked about seeing 'The Einstein Approximation' with the sound off and closed captioning enabled. Sheldon's obvious distress was magnified tenfold and the way his friends seemingly downplayed his breakdown and infantilized him disturbed the writer. For her, Sheldon was going through a meltdown and there was nothing funny about it:
"In the absence of the laugh tracks, or any other indication of what the audience should be laughing at, the episode played out like a drama that seemed to confront disability in a brutally honest setting. Without the condescending laughter from the audience, Sheldon was the show's protagonist. He was the one we were meant to sympathize with - his anxiety, his impulsive movements, the intensity of his expressions and his tumultuous behavior, in a setting absent laughter, became frightening." (Ode to Abigail)
Combining this interpretation with the s7 finale and Sheldon being 'overwhelmed' by change I realized that this wasn't going to be a chuckle-y chapter but one that's critical to the theme of my story-Sheldon's emergence into the world. Of course he has to make some compromises but there's a whole whack of difference between compromise and change. In this instance I tried to capture the consequences of changing who Sheldon fundamentally is (much as many have lamented we are seeing in the later seasons Sheldon) as opposed to having him adapt as he was earlier in the story. Perhaps my view is a 'potato potAHto' but to me there is a fundamental difference and I try my best in my writing to work *with* Sheldon and his idiosyncrasies. They're the reason why my stories are so bloody long: I want him to step out on his own terms.
Okay, enough of my rant. On with the story! *Lynn