Chapter Eight
"Just how many times are you going to make me do this?" asked Parker, folding his arms petulantly across his chest.
"As many times as it takes, until you get it right," said Loki, tapping his staff against his foot impatiently. "You're the one who suggested a training session instead of running out on patrol. You brought this on yourself."
"Yeah, but when I suggested it, I thought it was going to be fun," said Parker.
"Well now you know differently," said Loki, "so let's try it again."
"No," said Parker, "no, you cheat."
"I do not cheat, you do not listen," said Loki, he set his staff to one side, and then adjusted his stance, "strength does not matter, your actions, your balance, your stance, these are far more important."
"Oh don't start giving me all this crouching tiger, hidden dragon, bullshit," said Parker, throwing his arms up in frustration, "I don't need it, I got my web shooters, I am like, super strong, I can crawl walls - why do I need to learn how to do this stuff?"
Loki let out a sigh. He would be patient, he would not strangle Parker with his own webbing. Despite how tempting a prospect that might actually be.
"What if your webbing runs out?" said Loki, "Suppose your enemy is stronger, suppose there is not a wall for you to climb. Then how would you defend yourself?"
"I'd hide behind you," said Parker.
Loki smiled, "There may be hope for you yet, Parker, that was the first sensible thing you've said all evening. Now let's try again."
Parker sighed, he threw a punch, Loki dodged it, grabbed his wrist, twisted and had it behind his back before Parker had realised he had moved.
"Ow, ow, ow! Ok, Pai Mei, you can quit it now," said Parker.
Loki released his hold and shook his head, "That was terrible."
"Well you could give me a clue," said Parker, "a hint. Just tell me, where am I going wrong?"
"Well for a start, you're trying to hit me," said Loki.
"How am I supposed to fight you, if I don't try to hit you?" said Parker, his voice rising in frustration.
"You're not using your head," he said, wrapping his knuckles against Parker's skull, "ask yourself, what do you know about your enemy? I am strong, and fast, you know this. In terms of fighting techniques, I know more than you, so you cannot hope to defeat me in straight hand to hand combat."
Parker started listing things off on his fingers, "I'm not supposed to think about strength, I'm not supposed to use my webbing, I'm not supposed to climb walls, what the hell do you expect me to do?"
"Think," said Loki, "the first rule of combat is that there is no fight until someone makes the first move. Do not be so fast to run into a fight where you are disadvantaged, you will lose every time."
"So am I supposed to just stand there and wait to get my face pummelled?" said Parker, "I think your training techniques leave something to be desired."
"Use your head," said Loki, "stand back, observe, learn what you can before you go rushing in. In my case you already know much about my fighting style so use what you know to your benefit. What advantages do you posses over me?"
Parker sighed, he tilted his head, looking towards the ceiling, "I don't know, web shooters I'm not supposed to be using right now, web crawling, speed…"
"Speed," said Loki, "though I am loathe to admit it, you are much faster than I, so how can you use that to your advantage?"
Parker seemed to stare at him for a few seconds, and he threw a punch much in the same manner as he had done before, but this time it was a feint and he then moved to the side, grabbing Loki's arms and hooking them behind his back.
Loki grinned, "Excellent," he said, "of course, your stance is atrocious and I could probably kick your legs out, but it's a much better start than your previous attempts."
"Awesome," said Parker, "can we knock this on the head now and do something actually fun?"
He released his hold on Loki, and he turned to face him, "Well, we're supposed to be laying low, do you wish to risk going on a regular patrol?"
"Oh god, yes," said Parker, "we'll still keep our heads down, but I need to get back out there. I think it would help a lot if we had a way of going straight to where trouble was happening, instead of going looking for it all the time."
"Don't worry, Parker," said Loki, patting him on the shoulder, "trouble always seems to find me, I doubt we'll be stood about twiddling our thumbs for long."
x-x-x
Loki really should have known opening his big mouth would only lead to his prediction coming true.
They'd been passing through what Parker had described as a 'nice and quiet' neighbourhood when they'd observed two rival street gangs about to start a serious gun fight that would have no doubt left the innocent passers by with as many injuries as the gang members themselves, if they hadn't outright killed them.
Parker dropped him, mid-swing into the centre of the two gangs, they stood staring at him for a few seconds, looking confused, then Parker had snatched all the guns from their hands using his webbing. This still left most of them with knives, and Loki pondered briefly that it was nice that he and Parker were bringing street gangs together in unification because they all angrily decided to swarm him as soon as they realised they'd been disarmed.
Some had run away as he and Parker began subduing them, Loki used his staff, hitting knuckles with tremendous force, probably breaking a few hands, but causing knives to be dropped left, right and centre as Parker webbed them and strung them up one by one. Loki was easily able to fight three at a time as they kept attempting to go at him, he had the advantage, they were young, stupid and untrained, but they were angry and angry people could be dangerous if underestimated.
Loki kept pushing them back, keeping them from getting too close, using his staff, keeping his strength under control so he didn't accidentally kill one of them as he suspected Parker would probably be a bit upset with him if he'd just gone about snapping necks, which would have probably made the whole affair much easier.
As Parker strung the last one up, the gang members began kicking their legs and protesting that they'd mixed up their groups and now were hung next to their enemies. It would have been funny if Loki hadn't heard the distinctive sound of Iron Man in flight somewhere close by.
Parker looked at him, then grabbed him around the waist and lifted them into the air.
"Shit," said Parker, mid-swing, "what are we going to do? Can you do your shadow thing again?"
"I could-" began Loki, "no, wait, that bridge." He pointed to a small train bridge with an archway for traffic to pass beneath. "Get us to underneath it."
Parker did. There was an overhanging lip, and Parker tucked them into the corner of the underside of the bridge, pressing himself against Loki so they both stuck as tightly against it as he could.
Loki spoke in a quiet whisper, "He won't fly under here unless he saw us. If he does appear, let me distract him, you get away, do you understand?"
"What? No way," said Parker, "I'm not leaving you behind."
"You'll do it," said Loki, "now hush, he's getting closer."
Parker seemed to press himself even closer, laying them flatter against the brick work, Loki's fingers gripped onto Parker's arm as the noise of the suit drew closer and closer.
Loki held his breath, his eyes closed, Stark was about to pass right over their heads, then they were engulfed with noise and shaking, Loki gripped onto Parker tightly, his eyes flying open as Stark swept under the bridge, passing not 10 feet below them.
They remained frozen in position until the sound of the suit had disappeared completely into the distance and finally Loki exhaled. Parker swung them out from under the bridge and swung them to an abandoned building, breaking a window and getting them both inside.
"Are you ok?" asked Parker, as soon as they were in the building.
"Yes, I'm fine," said Loki, "are you?"
Parker rubbed the tops of his arms, "Yeah, thought you were going to break my arm there at one point, though, gotta watch your grip, bro."
"I'm sorry," said Loki, genuinely regretful, "let me see?"
"No, it'll be fine," said Parker, dismissing him with his hand, "bruises, that's all, we should probably get home, but let's give it half an hour just to be safe."
"Alright," said Loki, "but I think we need to find a better way of patrolling, that was a close call."
"Think he was looking for us?" he asked.
"There's no way to be sure," said Loki, "he could have just been passing by, but I'd rather not find out by being dragged to Avengers tower and thrown into some kind of cell."
"Yeah, pretty guys like us don't do well in jail," said Parker.
x-x-x
Loki was waiting for Parker on the roof of his building, tapping the side of his foot with his staff, impatiently.
Even though they'd had another close call with Iron Man, and were trying to lay low, Loki was counting down the days until Parker returned to school.
Without being able to follow him about all day and keep an eye on him, Loki was stuck in his building during the daylight hours with nothing to do, and he was beginning to go a little stir-crazy.
Parker had already been by his building earlier, dropping him off a plate of hot food, then explaining he had an errand to run for his aunt and would return within the hour, so he could take his time with his meal.
Loki had long since finished his food and left the plate in the usual plate he left these things so that Parker could return the used ones to his aunts house and she wouldn't be wondering where all of her crockery was disappearing to and then went up onto the roof to wait for Parker.
The kid was a little overdue on his estimate of an hour, but Loki wasn't in a huge rush to get back onto the streets, in fact if asked he would have probably consented for them taking a few weeks off, letting the heat die down, giving Stark a chance to forget about them a little bit before venturing out again. As long as he still got to spend his evenings with Parker so he would have someone to talk to and not go slowly insane cooped up in his building alone, he thought it would be just fine.
He spotted Parker as he swung into view and dropped down onto the roof, holding something in his hand, some kind of black object. Loki peered at it curiously, normally if Parker had to carry stuff about, aside from Loki of course, he'd wear a back pack, so he didn't drop things, which could only mean he'd only just acquired this particular item.
Parker spoke in a sing-song voice as he swung the black box in front of Loki's face, "Look-at-what-I-got-us."
Loki cocked his head and sighed, "Am I supposed to know what that is?"
"Dude, it's a police radio," said Parker, "I liberated it from a cop car that had the window down. Got it on my way back over here."
"Liberated?"
"Alright, I stole it, happy, Mom?" said Parker.
"Oh, so if I suggest stealing, I'm sorry, liberating, food and clothing then you're all Mr Moral-High-Ground," said Loki, "but if you steal from the police, then it's perfectly fine and acceptable?"
"Totally different," said Parker, turning a knob on the top of the radio, "we can use this to listen in on police traffic, gets a heads up if people might need our help somewhere, maybe if either Iron Man or the Avengers are out and about, they might talk about it and we'll know what areas to avoid."
Loki pressed his lips into a thin line, then realised that Parker might have a point, "Well I suppose it couldn't hurt to try it out. Everywhere is looking particularly rowdy tonight, we could be in for a busy evening."
"Well, Puck, it's New Years Eve," said Parker, "New Years in New York? If we get a five minute cigarette break we'll be lucky."
"We don't smoke," he said.
"Doesn't mean we're not entitled to the break," said Parker, tossing Loki the radio. "Here, you can hang onto it."
"Why me?" said Loki, "You're the one who stole it, and I have to carry my broom handle and hold onto you half the time too."
Parker cocked his head, Loki couldn't read his expression through the mask, but Parker moved his hands down himself, patting his skin tight costume, "And where exactly do you think I should put it? I don't have any hammer space you know, and I gotta carry you. You've got pockets in your outfit, use them."
"Alright, but if it falls out and lands on someone's head, you're getting the blame," said Loki, he noticed that there was a clip on the back of the radio so he hooked it onto the waistband of his trousers. "Parker…" he wanted to ask about New Years Eve, it wasn't something completely foreign to him, the celebration for the turning of a new calendar went back years in time, but he had the feeling that the type of celebrating had probably changed somewhat, "tonight, how likely is it, do you think, that it'll be bad enough out there for the Avengers to venture out?"
"I don't think we should worry about it," said Parker, "I mean, we've been keeping our heads low, staying off their turf. Aside from seeing Iron Man, and we don't even know what he was doing, that could have been his evening stroll, we generally don't see or hear about them dealing with the day to day shit that we deal with. I doubt we'll see any of them. They've probably got some huge glamorous New Years party to attend, Tony Stark will no doubt attempting to drink the city dry, if the papers are to be believed."
"I suppose you're correct," he said, "and we have this radio now, so if there's a big mess, we might hear about them coming first."
"Yeah," said Parker, giving him a shoulder bump with his fist. "Besides they only tend to come out guns a blazing for the really big stuff. Like when that maniac brought all those aliens into the city and tried to take over the world. You weren't under your rock during that were you?"
Loki could practically hear Parker smirking beneath his mask. Oh, if he only knew.
"No, I was there," said Loki.
"See," said Parker, "it'll probably be bar fights and muggings and shit tonight. We'll be busy, but everything will be fine. You'll see, nothing's going to go disastrously wrong."
x-x-x
Four hours later….
"You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you, Parker?"