And Chapter Three is up, please be sure to review and tell me what you think!
Carina hadn't known how long she stayed out there, sitting on the roof; at some point she had leaned back to stare at the sky as the sun set over the horizon, and that was really all she remembered now, as she opened her eyes to it now rising over the hillside.
Strange, thought Carina lazily, sitting up and yawning. Don't even remember closing my eyes. Either way, still more comfortable than that old cell in Azkaban.
She sat there for a moment, eyes taking in the vast land that surrounded the Burrow as the sun's rays finally reached the house; vaguely, she could hear the shouts of people from down below and in the house, possibly calling for her, but she ignored it in favor of remembering the last time she had been up here.
Thirteen year old Carina sat on the topmost roof of the Burrow, merely watching as the sky turned pink; the sun was sure to set soon, and she enjoyed the view.
There was a light thump from behind her followed by a low screech, and then light footsteps coming in her direction; she was not worried in the least, instead barely acknowledged as her father took a seat beside her.
"So," began Sirius conversationally. "You like the sunset?"
"And sunrise," agreed Carina, keeping her eyes focused on the horizon as the sun set.
"I'm sorry."
She finally turned to look at him. "For what?"
Sirius sighed, and in the now dim light she could make out his haggard appearance that she hadn't paid much attention to before; the wild, matted dark hair, the way parts of his face were darkened with scruff—most likely not the long mess it had been in the paper because he had shaved—and how his clothing hung off his thin frame.
She stared at the sallow skin and sunken in cheeks, and she bet that if she lifted his shirt she would be able to count his ribs; it was terrible.
This strange, haggard man was her father, someone who cared about her and something she thought she would never truly have.
"I wasn't there for you," he murmured, looking as though he were inwardly berating himself. His jaw clenched for a moment before he spoke again. "You or Harry. If I hadn't gone after the rat, then maybe…"
"Maybe we'd be a family."
"Yes, maybe." He sighed again, and she understood. "I'd have given you two everything if I could." His gray eyes, identical to her own, searched her face. After a few moments, he spoke again. "You really are my daughter, you know. All the way down to the nose." Sirius chuckled, before glancing down, obviously hearing something that she couldn't. He stood, and after a moment, she did as well. "I should get going, I was supposed to be halfway out of the country by now, but I just had to come see you." Carina put a hand on his arm before he had the chance to hop onto Buckbeak; the two stared at each other for a moment, before he abruptly pulled her into a tight hug, burying his face in her hair. "Never forget, if you need me, I'll come." He pulled away. "Do you understand?"
She nodded, and then offered him a small smile. "Yeah, I get it...dad."
He smiled back, mounted the hippogriff, and then he was gone, soaring off into the night; she stood there, watching him leave as a light breeze blew her hair back.
"CARINA!"
As she snapped out of her thoughts, it appeared that as the shouting had gotten louder; she was right, they had been looking for her.
Peering over the edge of the roof, she caught the eye of Harry Potter, who gestured to someone inside and then gazed up at her.
"What are you doing up there?" shouted Harry. "We've been looking for you for hours!"
Carina merely shrugged at him, before crawling back through the window of which she had come out and descending the staircase to the kitchen, where everyone was gathered.
"Where have you been?" scolded Mrs. Weasley. "We've been looking everywhere for you, young lady!"
"I said I was going to sleep outside, didn't I?" responded Carina flippantly. Though she had not intended to sleep outside in the first place and had resigned herself to sharing a room with the two other girls, they did not need to know that.
"Yes, but where were you?"
"She was on the roof," supplied Harry before the other teen had a chance to speak. "Must've fallen asleep there."
This caused the Weasley matriarch to round on her. "You could have gotten seriously injured, do you not understand? You could have fallen off and broken your neck!"
"Maybe," said Carina, sharp gray eyes meeting the woman's. "But then again, I'm sure you could understand that I really don't care. What's worse, reliving your worst memories over and over again, or getting a broken bone or two?" She smiled rather darkly. "I'd choose death over the hell my mind became anyday, wouldn't you?"
Mrs. Weasley spluttered indignantly as the girl turned her back to her and reached out to snag a biscuit and some bacon from the table.
"Death is not something to joke about!"
As Carina swallowed the last of her bacon and regarded her with a sudden, deathly serious look on her face. "Who said I was joking?"
Without another word, she strode from the house, leaving several disturbed people in her wake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was Luna Lovegood who found Carina later that morning, sitting by a pond between the Weasley home and her own.
Carina briefly spared the blonde a glance when she sat down beside her.
"You shouldn't be wandering around," warned Carina flatly, ripping the leaf she had been holding in half. "There are Death Eaters everywhere."
"Maybe so," acknowledged Luna with a nod. "But that would mean you shouldn't either. You're still weakened from Azkaban and they haven't taken you to get a new wand."
No, they hadn't. They were probably worried that she would curse them all for revenge or something.
"No one would care what happens to me."
"I would."
"Why?" Carina slowly turned to look at her, gray eyes meeting the wide, dreamy silver ones of the girl beside her.
"I knew you didn't do it," Luna's tone was light, though somehow, she had adopted a sort of serious air about her for the time being. "Kill those people. It was obvious, really."
Typically, this would have made the raven haired girl's temper flare and had her demanding answers, but she had changed, and now she merely let out a breath, voice even. "You didn't vouch for me."
"I know." Luna didn't bother to deny it. "Daddy didn't let me go to your trial because he needed my help hunting down a few new creatures." She smiled serenely for a moment. "If I could have I would have, but I don't think I would have done much good. Everyone thinks my father and I are mad, you see, so they would have—"
"—laughed you out of the room," Carina finished dryly. She turned her attention back to the leaf in her hand, and ripped the halves apart. Once finished, she dug her fingers into the grass and jerked up a clump to help ease her inner frustration. "I get it now."
"I realize that you may feel betrayed or angry at the moment, but I do hope we can be friends," the other girl offered, gingerly prodding Carina's hand with a finger. Confused, she opened her hand and watched as Luna slid her own hand into Carina's, entwining their fingers. "You could really use one at the moment. I think."
Carina didn't even flinch. Luna was not the enemy here, never had been, and now it was confirmed; if anything, she could use someone like her to keep herself from going off the deep end and actually harming someone if she lost her temper.
Far from the sappy type, the gray eyed girl stood up, dragging the other witch to her feet;keeping her eyes trained ahead, she answered, "Yeah, I could." She tugged Luna along. "I'll walk you home."
As they made their way over the hills to the Lovegood home, Carina found herself feeling a sudden urge of gratefulness and squeezed Luna's hand.
Maybe, just maybe, she wasn't as alone as she thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That night, Carina found herself lying on the makeshift bed on the floor that Mrs. Weasley had made up for her in Ginny's room, hands behind her head and eyes closed.
Perhaps Hermione and Ginny thought she had fallen asleep, the way that she was lying there without any sign of movement—not even a twitch—and the way her breathing was even and steady.
In reality, she was working on her Occlumency shields from what she could remember her father and Remus teaching her about them, alongside what she could vaguely recall from some of the books in Grimmauld Place.
"She just disappears," she could hear Ginny murmuring to Hermione. "She only comes in for the food, and then she runs off. It's only her second day here and she isn't speaking to any of us."
"She has good reason not to," came the whisper from Hermione. "We threw her in Azkaban just like we did Padfoot and left her there to rot without even bothering to defend her. We didn't look for further evidence, just automatically assumed she had done it when truthfully, she would have died rather than do it." Carina could hear the teen sigh frustratedly. "It was just after her own father died, too, Ginny."
"We were all grieving," The redhead replied softly. "None of us were thinking straight when it happened; I'm not saying it isn't our own faults, because it is and that's no excuse, but…"
"But we abandoned her when she needed us most, and that's what sickens me most. She told me about her past, Ginny, and making her relive all those horrible memories over and over again...I can't blame her if she hates us."
Carina's stomach twisted uncomfortably, and when she felt the unmistakable sting of pain, squinched her eyes tightly.
She couldn't do it, couldn't be here like this listening to them this way, but she knew that she would have to stay where she was lest they discover she had been eavesdropping and try to talk to her; she didn't need anyone's pity.
What she needed was to get her Occlumency shields up.
So, she retreated to the deepest depths of her mind and got to work.