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Itachi stood, feet on the edge of the deck. He stared into the dark water, listening as Sasuke stormed away. He barely heard the older boy leave. He glanced down at the stone pieces at his feet, looking towards the ropes. The buzzing in his ears had reached a crescendo. He wanted it-he needed it to end. He knelt suddenly, unnoticed by Sasuke and wrapped the rope tightly around his ankle and attached it to the stone. He glanced towards the water and scooted forward, dragging the stone. He sat for a moment, staring into the dark water, seeing only his reflection staring back. Pale faced and sunken cheeked. His reflection suddenly morphed and he was staring at a young man. The young man wore a cloak of black with red clouds. The young man met his gaze and Itachi's breath caught in his throat. This was him... The future him brought a single slender finger to his lips, eyes dancing red and lips curled into a secretive smile. The Mangekyō Sharingan glared back.
Itachi was suddenly under the water, sinking swiftly. The weight wrapped around his ankle yanking him down, down, down. It was so cold, the water dark and freezing him. He could see nothing, the sun was blotted out. His lungs burnt and Itachi fought the urge to struggle. He forced his body to relax. This is how Shisui had died. He must have struggled. His lungs must have burnt as Itachi's did now. Freedom so close yet denied. Had it been this cold? How had Itachi been able to hold Shisui down when he despised killing? Drowning someone was so...intimate. You had to be able to hold someone under the water, not allowing them the chance for escape. Their lives in your hands as their body stopped struggling.
His lungs screamed for air, burning almost unbearably. Unable to hold his breath any longer, Itachi inhaled water invading his system. He choked, the burning intensified and for a moment he felt as if he was falling asleep. The fear, the burning in his chest and the cold surrounding him seemed to fade away. His body felt so tired and his eyes drooped. He needed...he...
Hands pumped his chest. He could hear someone yelling. The fog in his mind began to clear a bit. The hands worked harder, the voice becoming desperate. He recognized that voice...he wanted to tell them to leave him alone. His body arched as he was suddenly jarred. He swiftly rolled onto his side, water bursting from his mouth. He couched painfully, his lungs hungry for air. Itachi gasped in pain, coughing up the lake water. Those hands reached for him again and he struggled weakly. The voice was murmuring something in a soothing tone and Itachi could not help but cling to it. The body was drenched in water but was so warm. It spoke in hushed whispers.
"You're alright, you're alright..." That voice suddenly murmured and Itachi began to struggle again. Did this voice not understand? Why was this person comforting him?
"Let me, go..." He struggled, voice weaker than he would have wanted. He shoved at the chest and tried to crawl towards the lake hands reached for him, gently but firmly pulling him back the voice trying to calm him.
"Come on Itachi, stop..." The voice came out pained and hoarse. Itachi continued to struggle, trying to shove the person off. Didn't they understand? He needed to die! It was the only way to give Sasuke his life back! He needed to die!
"Let me go! I need to die! You have to let me go!" He wailed, voice hoarse from the water. "Let me go, please, please I need to die! You have to let me die, please!"
"Come on Itachi, stop..." Sasuke managed, confused as the boy tried to make a break for the water. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he tried to hold down his sibling.
"Let me go!" Itachi cried out, voice distraught. "You have to let me go! Let me go, please, please I need to die!" Sasuke nearly dropped the boy at those words. Itachi struggled furiously, biting and scratching at Sasuke. "You have to let me die, please!" Itachi managed to shove Sasuke away and made a break for the water. Sasuke struggled to his feet and chased after Itachi just as he reached the edge of the water. Sasuke leaped forward, tackling Itachi into the water just as Itachi went under. They struggled wildly against each other, Sasuke dragging Itachi back to shore as Itachi clawed and bit at his arms.
Sasuke dragged Itachi towards the grass, Itachi thrashing all the while.
"LET ME GO!"
Sasuke lifted Itachi up, ignoring the struggles. Itachi flailed, smacking at Sasuke. The water getting further and further away. Sasuke's heart was beating violently, his knees felt weak but he hardly noticed.
"LET ME DIE!" Itachi screamed. "I HAVE TO DIE, LET ME GO!" The Uchiha trudged onward. Itachi's screams ringing in his ears. "LET ME DIE! PLEASE...please I need to die, please let me do this...please..."
There were marks on Sasuke's arms and hands. Scratches from Itachi's nails and bite marks as well. Sasuke became aware of this by the stares he was receiving from Kakashi and Naruto. He crossed his arms over his chest and trained his eyes on the door. When Tsunade popper her head in, Sasuke stood. She motioned for Sasuke to come over. He glanced at Naruto, silently telling him to follow.
"Kakashi, you come too." Tsunade stated and Sasuke fought down a groan. The three followed Tsunade to her office and the woman motioned for Naruto to shut the door. She leaned against the desk, crossing her arms and fixing Sasuke with a level stare.
"So my healers say he'll heal up nicely. They also say you wouldn't tell them what exactly happened to him...or yourself. So mind explaining?" She asked and Sasuke fixed Kakashi and Naruto with cold stares. Naruto looked back, apprehensively while Kakashi looked bored. Tsunade had called him here and as far as he knew Sasuke and Itachi had gotten into another fight and Itachi had once again survived. He wanted nothing to do with either Uchiha. Sasuke turned back to Tsuande.
"We fought." He began, voice rough and Tsuande snorted.
"That's pretty clear." Sasuke shot her a withering glare. He glanced towards the window, wishing to leave. Instead he looked back at the Hokage. "I walked back towards the house and left him by the water. When I turned back around to yell at him again, he was gone."
"Gone?" Tsunade's voice took on an uneasy edge, not liking where this was going. Naruto's eyes were fixed on Sasuke. Kakashi was staring out the window, watching the clouds watch by.
"He was in the water." Sasuke closed his eyes. Kakashi slowly turned to look at the Uchiha while Tsunade's expression became somber. "He...he had a weight tied around his ankle to hold him under..." He opened his eyes to stare at Tsuande who cursed softly. Naruto blinked in surprise and glanced towards Kakashi who he was surprised to see as staring at Sasuke in shock.
"He tried to kill himself?" Kakashi asked softly and Sasuke nodded.
"I dragged him out...he wasn't breathing..." The blonde stared at his friend sadly. Kakashi's body felt as if icy water had been dumped over him. "I...he coughed up the water...but he pushed me away and tried to go back." He showed them his wounded arms. "He kept screaming that he needed to die." Kakashi suddenly stood and stalked from the room, not looking back as he opened and slammed the door behind him. Sasuke and Naruto barely heard him but Tsunade stared after him with a severe expression. She looked back to Sasuke.
"Go on."
"I...dragged him back towards the house and he passed out. So I brought him to the hospital."
"It explains why you both were drenched." She muttered. "He'll live if that's any consolation but suicide..." She closed her eyes and Naruto watched his friend's expression shift to pained. Tsunade stood and approached the window, staring out at the village. "He's heavily drugged right now. He'll need to stay over night. I can have som-"
"I'll stay." Sasuke stated firmly and the Hokage nodded.
"Good. We'll keep this quiet. The Elders don't need to know about this. More paperwork, more stress on you and Itachi. More of them sticking their noses in things that don't concern them." She looked towards Naruto and Sasuke troubled. "Has he made any indication about suicide before?" Both boys shook their heads. The Hokage ran a hand through her hair, locking eyes with Sasuke.
"You can go to him now. Naruto, I want to keep you for a minute."
Itachi's hands were cold in his grasp.
Small too.
Sasuke had not moved from Itachi's bedside since he had entered the room. That was seven hours ago now. The sedatives had done their job and Itachi was still out cold. Naruto had come by after talking with Tsunade. He brought Sasuke some food and promised to visit again in the morning. Sasuke's chair was pulled close to Itachi's bedside so Sasuke could hold on to Itachi if he awoke. Moonlight filtered into the room, casting Itachi's face in a pale hue. His eyelashes brushed over his cheeks, giving him a childlike cherubic look. Something Sasuke had never considered Itachi to be. How had he not noticed how young Itachi was. There was still baby fat on his face! Kakashi had not shown his face. Sasuke didn't think he wanted him to.
He glanced at Itachi's little hand, absently stroking his thumb over the cool flesh. The fingers were slender. Sasuke tried to remember Itachi's hands as an adult. He remembered they were slender as well. His nails were also painted...that brought a slight smile to Sasuke's lips. Imagining Itachi settling down after a night of evil and painting his nails...or did Kisame paint them for him? The thought of that had Sasuke laughing out loud.
"Hmm?" A weak voice called out and Sasuke blinked as he stared into Itachi's now open eyes. The brothers stared at each other for a moment. Itachi frowned as he tried to remember what happened. When he did, his face fell and he closed his eyes.
"You stopped me."
"Yes."
"Why?" Itachi asked but Sasuke could not find an answer. Instead he continued to stare down at the little hand in his grasp. How many times had he broken this wrist? He lifted his eyes to stare at Itachi who stared back in defeat. Sasuke tore his gaze away and looked towards the window.
"Why did you jump, Itachi?" He asked and the boy frowned in confusion.
"To die." He replied as if the answer was simple. Sasuke closed his eyes and breathed sharply. "Is that not what you want to happen?" Itachi questioned. Sasuke met Itachi's stare and shook his head.
"I want you to die as an adult. Who remembers everything. Who can fight back knowing why the battle is even happening. You...you're innocent." He finished weakly and Itachi sighed and closed his eyes.
"You've wanted me dead since you brought me here." He stated tiredly. "Don't tell me you grew compassion when I took my life into my own hands rather than allow you the control." His voice became bitter at this. Sasuke was stunned by the words and slowly shook his head, reaching to touch Itachi's face.
"No, no! It's...you were standing there...and then you were gone..." Itachi flinched as Sasuke's fingers brushed over his cheek. He looked away, shoulders hunching. His eyes burnt but he brushed it aside. He would not cry again. He had already humiliated himself enough.
"I had not realized you were still there. I'm sorry."
"Don't...don't apologize." Sasuke muttered awkwardly. He pulled his hand away from Itachi's cheek. Sasuke leaned back in his chair and studied Itachi tiredly.
"Have you slept?" The boy asked and Sasuke shook his head yawning, Itachi frowned. "You need sleep Sasuke."
"I'm fine." He muttered and Itachi fought down a smile.
"So stubborn." He mused. He looked out the window and frowned. He turned back to Sasuke and watched the older boy continue to study his hand. "I can finish that story of Shisui and I drunkenly returning to the compound." He offered and Sasuke looked up unable to fight his slight smile.
"How did you manage to come back unnoticed?" He asked and Itachi smiled back.
Sasuke fell asleep lulled by Itachi's voice. Itachi remained awake and stared out the window waiting. He did not have to wait long. The window silently slid open and Hatake Kakashi slipped through, leveling Itachi with a blank stare.