!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... AANDAG... I KUSHTOJ VEMENDJE !*!*!
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me, and I do not make any pesos, dollars, yen, lira, pounds, dinars, rupees, or quetzals from this fanfiction, sadly. Read on.
Twenty minutes later, they stood outside the door to the Hokage's office. Shikarmaru, being the intelligent and brilliant man he was, hung back and let Naruto go ahead for safety reasons.
Without even knocking, Naruto pushed open the double doors energetically and yelled loudly, "Oi, Baa-chan! I'm here. What do you want?"
There was a smacking sound, and Lady Tsunade growled, "Don't call me that, brat!"
Figuring it was safe to enter the office, Shikamaru unhurriedly went in.
A large vein was pulsing in Lady Tsunade's forehead, and Naruto cowered before her, holding her head. He wouldn't expect anything else. He collapsed into a chair, out of the reach of the Hokage's fists. Lady Tsunade muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "ungrateful brat," and gulped down some sake from the ever present supply on her desk.
It amazed him. Shikamaru knew he had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, but she must have been immune with the amount she downed. How did she function? And what was she like sober?
The Hokage slammed her container of sake down on the desk and then leveled an impressive glare at the Nara. "What the hell took you so long? I sent you to get him two hours ago!" She stood up from her desk, large breasts bouncing dangerously.
Shikamaru would have pointed out that it hadn't been two hours… if he had a death wish. Instead, he started analyzing the room for possible exits.
What happened next surprised him slightly. "Wait! It wasn't Shikamaru's fault! I made him wait while I ate my ramen!" Naruto said, stepping in between the pissed of slug princess and the lazy genius.
Naruto had saved him? More than that, Naruto had lied to save him from getting his ass beat. Although, Naruto couldn't exactly tell Lady Tsunade that he was really a she and she and everything else that had happened. Well, maybe knowing Naruto's secret wouldn't be quite that troublesome. No, that was still just wishful thinking. Every single one of his better than average brain cells told him that this was going to be a completely wacked out, not in a good way, situation.
The Hokage stopped, halfway to Shikamaru, fist raised. "Ramen? It took that whole time because you were eating ramen?" Naruto nodded frantically, and then saw the dangerous look in her eyes, but didn't dodge fast enough. She slugged Naruto on the head again, "Brat! Eat your ramen on your own time!" She stomped back to her desk and sat down with a huff, leaving Shikamaru gazing at her lazily and Naruto nursing, not one, but two lumps on her head.
"Now," the Hokage said, "I called you here, Naruto, because I have a problem. Our village has been contracted to do a mission. By the Yugakure."
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. As far as he knew, the Yugakure wasn't a ninja village. That wasn't the odd part. The odd part was the Yugakure hiring them. They had barely had any contact with the Hidden Leaf village.
Tsunade continued, "Usually, this wouldn't be a problem, but it's more complicated. As you two know, or you at least know, Nara, the Yugakure doesn't have ninja. Or, at least, they didn't. They do now. They're forming new ninja clans, building shinobi schools, and instituting new everything, basically. They are also rising in power. Do you know what this means? We have a chance to ally ourselves with them."
Naruto, who had been fighting to keep still, asked, "Well, that's cool. What's the problem, Baa-chan?"
Tsunade twitched, but managed not to give Naruto a third bruise. "The problem, brat, is that the Kage, the new Kage, has a problem. He has information that there will be an assassination attempt on his daughter, and he doesn't know who to trust in his own country. He does, however, trust me, and by extension, he trusts the ninja I trust. Now, he believes that his daughter will be assassinated on her birthday, and he needs two ninja to come and protect her. They need to be able to blend in, to pretend to be friends of his daughter. She's around your age, and that's the problem."
Shikamaru's brain was processing information. The Yugakure becoming a shinobi village was a major event, and he could see why Lady Tsunade would want to make a treaty with them. Then there was the assassination attempt, that wasn't too unusual either, and there were plenty of ninjas that were their age. What exactly was the problem?
The Hokage answered that question. "Here's the problem. Ino is pregnant, which you know, and I couldn't put her on the mission, and Choji wants to be there when the baby is born, Lee just stands out too much, Neji and Ten-Ten are on missions, and… Sakura, while I know she is my apprentice, she isn't cut out for field work, and then there's the Uchiha. He doesn't work well with anyone but Naruto. Sai's, well... Sai is Sai. Also, at least one of the ninja I send needs to be a girl; it wouldn't be right if they were both male. People might get suspicious."
Okay, things were getting a little more complicated, but still, he could see at least one solution to the problem. "Can't you send in another ninja in a henge to look right?" He drawled.
"No, that's one of the problems. The Yugakure has one very talented person especially, who created a new seal. They inscribed it an the entrance to the city, and whoever passes by immediately is revealed as who they are; there henge gets dispelled."
"Does that mean we'd see what you really look like, Baa-chan?" Naruto piped up. She dodged as an empty sake bottle sped past her head.
Shikamaru now could see the problem. If they needed ninjas to set off immediately, and they didn't have any available, then diplomacy between two villages could be on the line. As lazy as he was, he could see how the situation could become troublesome, even to him. But what had she asked, well, ordered, him to fetch Naruto? She thought that Naruto was a boy, or did she? Maybe she knew and was calling Naruto out on it. There was also another option, one to do with Naruto's… tenant.
"So why do you want me?" Naruto asked, pointing to herself with a clueless expression.
Tsunade sighed, and the anger drained away from her face. "Naruto… The seal will strip away henges, regular henges, but I thought that perhaps you, with the Kyuubi, could find a way to… bypass it."
Shikamaru watched Naruto's face as the Hokage made her request. A flicker of something else, something darker, flashed across Naruto's face, and it didn't belong. But it quickly disappeared and an idiotically grinning Naruto reappeared. It had happened so quickly that Shikamaru doubted whether Tsunade had even seen it. "Sure! Of course I can, Baa-chan. I'll be back here tomorrow, and you'll see, okay? Believe it!" She gave the Hokage a big thumbs up.
The tension seemed to seep out of Tsunade. "Really? I actually believe you, Brat. Don't disappoint me, okay? Now, you're dismissed. Go get some ramen," she said roughly, but definitely fondly, and tossed a small pouch of money to Naruto and then pouring herself another cup of sake.
"Got it!" Naruto waved an exuberant good-bye and burst out of the office.
Shikamaru followed at a more leisurely pace. He couldn't imagine where Naruto got all of his… no, her, energy. It made him tired just watching. They walked down the hallway, well, Shikamaru walked; Naruto was jumping around like a monkey who had been dosed with espresso.
The sharp clack of heels on stone caught the Nara's attention. A pink haired woman, with bright green eyes and a rather large forehead, strutted down the hall, a stack of files clutched close to her chest.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, lunging forward to hug her and smiling idiotically. Sakura sidestepped easily, and Naruto went barreling into the wall. "Sakura-chan, how 'bout a date? I'll take you anywhere you want!"
Shikamaru paused. That was another thing to think about. Naruto's insistent pursuit of Sakura. He now knew that Naruto was a girl, a female, a woman, and Sakura was also a girl, not that he had anything against it, them both being girls. So Naruto liked Sakura, but Sakura didn't know that Naruto was a girl. How was it supposed to work? Personally, he couldn't see the attraction to Sakura. She was loud, although Naruto was too, she was also annoying, brash, violent, selfish, plain, and had the almost impossible ability to be smart at book-smarts and absolutely retarded in practical use.
Sakura scowled at the grinning Naruto, and she snapped, "Baka! Leave me alone, and stop asking me. I'm not going to go on a date with you!"
Naruto pouted. "Aww… Sakura-chan, you don't have to be so mean," he whined.
She glared at him sharply, "I have work to do, real work, so leave me alone, and let me get it done. Go bother someone else." She directed a scathing glance at Shikamaru, who was leaning up against the wall, and then stomped off.
Yup, he just couldn't figure out what Naruto saw in her. She was even more troublesome than Ino. At least Ino had calmed down with all of the fan-girl stuff and had already settled down with Choji. Shikamaru also knew a few other things about Sakura from Ino. Apparently, when Ino had used her family jutsu to go into Sakura's head, she had learned that the other girl had a split personality. It figured.
"You okay, Naruto?" he asked quietly.
Naruto just smiled and nodded. "Absolutely! Don't worry! I'll get her to go on a date with me no matter what! I never give up," she said, picking herself up off of the floor and continuing her way out of the tower.
Shikamaru slouched at her side. "Hey, Naruto? Do you really love Sakura? I mean, I know you're really a…" He let the words fall silent, careful in case an Anbu member had been listening.
Naruto shook her head, "No. I don't love her like that. It's just to keep up my image. When I was younger, I saw some kids picking on her, and I kind of felt a connection. I wanted to be her friend; that's all I wanted for a while, but after a few years, I realized that she wasn't the person I thought she was. She's kind of bossy and mean, you know? I'd still like to be her friend, though; I haven't given up on that." She lapsed into silence.
Still? Naruto still hadn't given up on Sakura being anything other than a bossy, annoying woman? Shikamaru had to give her credit for her tenacity, or stupidity, it could go either way. It make him feel better, for some unknown reason, to know that Naruto didn't have those sorts of feelings for Sakura. The two together had never seemed quite right to him, mainly, because, although they could both be loud and annoying, Naruto cared deeply and was nice, and Sakura… wasn't so much. Shikamaru knew she wasn't that bad, but, personally, he just didn't care for her. Naruto, on the other hand, was a different story. He liked Naruto, now even more that he knew he was actually a she, and a hot she at that. Sure Naruto was troublesome, and irritated him sometimes, okay, a lot of the time, but she was still just plain good.
Naruto jerked him out of the rather flattering, if a little odd, thoughts that Shikamaru was having. "Hey, Shikamaru?"
"Yeah, what?"
"Do you want to go get some ramen?" She held up the bag with the money the Hokage had given her and shook it.
Shikamaru rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment, and then shrugged. "Sure…" That didn't sound too bad.
"Awesome! Let's go!" Naruto yelled, punching the air and starting off in the direction of the Ichiraku Ramen Bar.
As what was beginning to become a habit, Shikamaru lazily trudged after her, once again lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply.
The next thing he knew, the cigarette had been plucked from his lips, again, and Naruto was scowling at him. "What did I tell you? Don't smoke! It's bad for you and it ruins your taste-buds. Do you know what that means? It means that you won't be able to taste the ramen! I don't even want to think about that. It's horrible. Now, come on." She proceeded to drag an only faintly dismayed and irked Shikamaru after her.
He couldn't argue with her logic, even if it was skewed and he didn't appreciate it. He had the feeling that, in the near future, his precious cigarettes were going to be manhandled by a certain blonde.
As he was dragged along, something suddenly became clear. The expression that had flashed across Naruto's face when the Hokage had mentioned the Kyuubi, it had been, not anger or sadness, but a sort of tired and emotionless acceptance. It had looked empty, and that was an expression that didn't belong on Naruto's face. The idea intrigued and scared him. He was finding out that Naruto wasn't quite what he had thought, and he still had a lot to learn, but for now Naruto's warm hand was latched onto his, holding him firmly so that he couldn't escape, and well, even in the whole situation was bothersome, so far, he didn't really mind. Things could have been more troublesome.
Okay, here is the third chapter of my story. I've gotten pretty positive feedback from the first two chapters, which is great. This chapter sets things up for the next chapter and the mission that follows in all of its weird and awesome glory. If any of you have a problem with the way that I portrayed Sakura, sorry, but I don't really like her. She will get a little nicer later in the story, but, for now, she's a bit of a bitch. Anyway, tell me what you guys think of the story so far. You guys' reviews rock.
Ja ne,
Rumer
Year of the Butterfly: Okay, first, I'll answer your questions. Yes, Tsunade will find out the truth eventually, but not right away. And so will Pervy-sage and Iruka, but they'll find out later also. Hope I answered your questions. It seems like most people think that I'm getting the characters down right. Great, that's what I'm aiming for. Although I don't mind when people put their own spin on the personalities, I think it's better when they stay a little truer to form. It annoys me if they're too far off. Now, what exactly do you mean when you say that you like it a little more than you should? I'm curious.
Krystal: Another person who says that I'm getting the character right! Thanks, Krystal. It's great that you think that my story is amazing; frankly, it's nice to hear. Here's the next chapter.
pokermaniac039: Thanks. Keep reading and keep commenting. I look forward to knowing what you think.
Ice Cold Steel: Thank you, Ice, for reading my story with a critical eye. I appreciate it. When Shikamaru switched to first person, it was kind of on purpose, like you were in his head, but I'm not positive if you can do that according to grammar rules. I changed it to how you said. So, anyway, thanks again. I've read a bunch of fanfictions where Naruto turns into a girl in the ways you mentioned, and some others. Some of them are really creepy to imagine. I just thought this way made sense, well, as much as demon changing your sex while you live in a world with ninjas makes sense. Keep reading, Ice, and I'll keep writing.
tinkerbellstar19: Funny is good. I like making people laugh. Cute? That wasn't quite what I am going for, but I'll take it. It has a positive connotation. I will keep writing this story as long as I am able to and as long as you keep reading it. Glad you like it.
kayla: Ha, this is really nice. I'm getting positive reviews. Yeah, there aren't too many stories where Naruto suddenly turns into a girl, but I think I did it okay, and, apparently, you think it's a good idea, too. It's nice to know that you like the story, and here's the next chapter for you to read an enjoy (I hope).
vampydarkangel: I accept the props. ^_^ Well, it's awesome that you accidentally clicked on my story. Ahhh! You hate the femNaru stories? Well, a lot of them are kind of... yeah... but I've managed to convert you! At least partially, that is. You asked me to update soon, and here it is. Are there really that many female Naruto/Shikamaru stories? Huh, maybe I was wrong. You don't really notice things correctly when you're reading fanfiction at ten at night after eating chocolate cake, ice cream, Pocky, and some more sugar. It gives you a warped view of reality, but I'm getting off topic. Enjoy the story.