Carina sat in her first Potions class, reclined lazily in her seat as she listened to Slughorn teach about Amortentia.
"Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world," said Slughorn. "It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what attracts them." He waved his hand at a cauldron sitting by his desk, and Carina straightened in her seat, catching a brief whiff of something. "Miss Black, Miss Granger, would you care to tell us what you smell?"
The two got to their feet and made their way to stand by the cauldron; they were so close their arms were brushing.
The scents that hit Carina's nostrils made her take a deeper whiff; she could smell her father's natural musk, pine needles, turnips—she couldn't help but chuckle at that, because those were what Luna's earrings were made of—rain and….strawberries?
No. Oh no.
That was what Hermione's hair smelt like, and now that she thought about it, the smell was so overpowering that Carina's head spun; she almost missed the girl beside her listing off what she smelt.
"I smell freshly mown grass," began Hermione, staring into the cauldron. "Old parchment, spearmint toothpaste, and…" She flushed. "Vanilla."
"And you, Miss Black?" The professor turned to her as Hermione hurried to her seat.
"Pine needles, turnips, rain and—" Carina paused, clearing her throat. "—strawberries." She was not stupid enough to bring up her father in front of all these students; without asking or being given permission, she went back to her seat in the back of the class and flipped open her book, listening as Slughorn explained to them what potion they would be making, and how they would win the so called Liquid Luck if they brewed it correctly.
What could she use it for? She had no need for the elixir and it wasn't as if she needed it to win a date or a game like the other students; the only thing she would need luck for was avoiding Hermione, and she could do that herself.
Shaking her head, Carina gathered up the needed ingredients and set to work.
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When finished, Slughorn came by to look at everyone's potions, it turned out that both Harry and Carina's potions were both perfect; it was a tie, and the man was suitably impressed.
"Oho!" crued Slughorn, astonished. "Two in one class? You're both very lucky I have an extra vial of liquid luck, or else I would have you compete for it." He laughed at his own joke, if it were even one at all. "I'm impressed Mr. Potter, Miss Black-no one else has been able to make the potion so far." He handed each of them a vial, and they were both suddenly subject to Hermione's frustrated looks; she was very flustered, for she had tried her hardest and not gotten the perfect potion they had.
Once in the common room—Carina learned that the password was treacle tart—Carina sank into an armchair in the farthest corner of the room and studied her vial of gold looking potion. She had no idea what she was going to do with it, to be honest, so she supposed that she may as well save it until she really needed it.
"How did you do it?" Hermione could be heard interrogating Harry.
Carina listened with half an ear as she pulled out a piece of parchment and began to fold and twist it around experimentally.
"This book," came the answer from Harry. "It's got some writing inside, had loads of helpful tips…"
"You need to turn it in, Harry. It could be dangerous."
"No!" She could hear the boy's defensive tone easily. "I mean...no. It's just a book, how could it be dangerous? Besides, Carina got a perfect result as well, why don't you ask her?"
"Maybe I will!"
Carina could hear the sound of footsteps and peered up through her hair at the person now standing beside her chair.
"How did you get that result?" demanded Hermione, obviously more than a little irritated with everyone today. "Harry's found some amazing new book…" The other girl raised a brow and turned her attention back to the parchment, which was beginning to look like something.
"My father taught me," she murmured, not taking her eyes off the task at hand. "Tutoring with Remus as well." She finished folding and glanced up, a mocking smile in place. "Satisfied?"
"No." Hermione harrumphed and plopped down in the chair across from her, arms crossed.
Carina inwardly groaned. I should have known she wouldn't just go away-it's Hermione, for Merlin's sake!
"Too bad, then."
"Easy for you to say, you got the liquid luck! If Harry hadn't found that stupid book in the first place, I would have gotten it like I deserved—we all know he's rubbish at potions—" She was ranting more or less to herself and the other girl knew it, for she had that look in her eye that meant she was lost in thought.
Carina observed the parchment rose she had made, twirling it around; it looked perfect, except….
She squinted at the rose and concentrated her hardest. Colovaria.
The red and green bled into it rather slowly, but she was proud of her accomplishment and abruptly shoved it into one of Hermione's hands, which had been gesturing wildly.
The bookworm stopped speaking and stared at it, before her eyes turned back to Carina.
"What's this for?" questioned Hermione, puzzled.
"It's a rose," responded Carina in a matter of fact tone, before rolling her eyes. "Just take it."
She half expected the other witch to say more, but all she got was, "Thank you."
The raven haired girl shrugged carelessly and did not speak, instead went about to fiddling with the edge of her shirt absentmindedly; she had hoped Hermione would leave soon after, but that was not the case. Instead, she sat there in silence and twirled the rose between her fingers, lost in thought yet again.
Carina sighed inwardly and clasped her hands together between her knees, ducking her head.
Once safely inside the walls of Grimmauld Place, Carina broke away from the others and sprinted up the stairs and to her room; she slammed the door behind her and ran both hands through her hair, breathing raggedly.
Was he really gone, or had it been a trick of her imagination? Perhaps she would wake up and this would all be some terrible nightmare.
As she remembered Bellatrix and the veil, she shook her head wildly, hands still tangled in her hair; no, it was definitely real. Very, very real.
She sat down heavily on the floor and leaned against the bed; she curled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. There was the telltale squeak of the door being opened but she did not move.
An arm was slung around her shoulders, and she finally glanced up to meet the brown eyes of Hermione Granger, whose breath had hitched at the red rimmed, watery gray eyes. She had soothed a few of Carina's nightmares over the years, so this was nothing new, but the pain in the other girl's gaze made her heart clench.
Hermione pulled Carina closer, whispering, "He went fighting, you know that's what he wanted."
"He was stupid," came the mumble from the raven haired witch, who wrapped her arms around her friend's side. "H-He shouldn't have come." Carina's eyes were now spilling tears, but she met the eyes of her best friend bitterly. "We s-shouldn't have drug you guys in with us, either." She swallowed hard. "It c-could have been you and it would have been m-my fault. I'm sorry, Mione...so sorry…" Despite her obvious effort, the girl's shoulders began to shake with suppressed sobs, and Hermione tightened her hold on her friend, who curled closer with a whimper. "Why does it hurt so much? Why?"
"Because you loved him, Rina." Hermione ran her hand through Carina's hair comfortingly. "And he loved you and Harry so much, anyone could see that."
They sat there like that for a few minutes as Carina sobbed, and she finally pulled away.
"Hermione?"
"Yes?"
"I love you." Carina squeezed her hand, and the other girl smiled slightly.
"I love you too."
Carina found herself wishing that Hermione could see just how she loved her.
"I'm sorry."
The words startled Carina out of her daze, and she glanced up, frowning. "What?"
"I'm sorry," repeated Hermione softly. "For how I've acted, and for how I acted when…" She trailed off, but seemed to force herself to pick up where she left off. "When they took you away. You trusted me so much and I abandoned you...I hope you can forgive me someday."
The raven haired girl stared blankly at her.
Hermione was...apologizing? Of course Carina had known the bookworm felt guilty, but for her to actually apologize?
I definitely didn't see this one coming. Carina opened her mouth and then closed it again, a small scowl marring her features as she warred with herself. She could not just accept it, especially not now, when her emotions were spinning out of control. Hermione had left Carina to rot, broken her heart and left her to the horrors of her mind, and now she was apologizing?
Some small part of her desperately wanted to forgive her former best friend, for things to be the way they had been, but the larger part of her still wanted to avoid her entirely and never come to term with her feelings at all.
"Carina?"
The hopeful yet oh-so knowing brown eyes were trained on her now, and she could feel her heart begin to pound and her hands start to shake; what was going on? Why was she reacting this way? What was wrong with her?
The betrayal.
The death.
The heartbreak.
I'm sorry.
"Are you alright?" A hand came into contact with her own, and she could not breathe; all she could think about was the pain, so much pain and Carina snatched her hand away, leaping to her feet and sprinting for the portrait hole.
She needed Luna, and she needed her now.
In explanation for that last part, while Carina was thinking she was remembering the betrayal and the pain of that and other things that had happened aroun that time; add in the sudden apology from the person who hurt her the most, she was ready to have a panic attack. It got to be too much for her, so she bolted.
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