!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... FIGYELEM... BORGA ATHUGID !*!*!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, and, like Tsunade, who sold her soul for abnormally large breasts, I don't own my soul anymore, either. I lost it last Tuesday in a poker game with Beelzebub.

Hisoka cleared his throat nervously. "Well, let's start walking to the academy, shall we?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "Sure," and started walking forward. He noticed that Hisoka purposely stepped in between Shikamaru and Kazuo, probably with good reason, like keeping a homicide from occurring. As they walked the streets, Hisoka acted as a shinobi tour guide, pointing out shops and landmarks. He reminded Shikamaru a little of Iruka, just less motherly, and Kazuo was like Kakashi. He shuddered inwardly. There really didn't need to be more Kakashi's in the world, not that there was anything wrong with the man. It was just astounding the level of perverseness that he attained.

Kazuo interrupted Hisoka's description of the history of one of the statues. "So, Naruto's your girlfriend, right?"

Shikamaru eyed him. "Yes." Where was the lecherous bastard going with this?

"Huh. It just seems a little odd. You guys don't really act like it. Is the relationship going badly?" Kazuo asked in a deliberately casual voice.

Shikamaru twitched and tried to keep an apathetic expression on his face instead of the murderous scowl that would be more appropriate for his emotions. Well, maybe the reason that they didn't act like boyfriend and girlfriend were because they weren't, not that he could tell Kazuo that. He wouldn't mind having Naruto as a girlfriend, but… he tried to clear his thoughts. That was not the right thing to think about on a mission. In reply, he leveled a bored glare at Kazuo, and said, "No, it's not going badly at all. We're happy together." Although, back off before I disembowel you, was what he really wanted to say.

"Really? Because that's not what it looks like," Kazuo said, whistling.

Shikamaru's hand twitched towards where he usually kept his kunai and shuriken, only to realize that they weren't there.

The air got tense, and then Hisoka exclaimed loudly, "Oh! Look! There's the academy. We're here already, and the girls should be here soon." A person couldn't look more relieved than he did at that point. He probably was ecstatic that they had gotten to the school without blood being shed.

Shikamaru left off glaring at Kazuo, who had been glaring back, and looked around.

The academy, unlike most of the other buildings, was light, whitewashed stone and made out of heavy blocks. The building had an odd grace about its "L" shaped wings, but it also looked solid, and like it could survive the wear and tear of several jutsus gone wrong. As they was almost everywhere in the town, a thick green lawn was in front of the building, but around the corner of the building, behind it, there was the bare, brown, almost reddish, earth that he associated with training grounds. The multiple floored building loomed over them, but it was actually welcoming and cheerful.

Now, the three were standing in front of the building in silence that quickly became awkward.

Kazuo broke it. "So, about Naru-"

Hisoka punched his friend in the shoulder, sending him slamming into the wall with a satisfying cracking sound and accompanied by a small cloud of dust. Hisoka laughed nervously. "I'm sorry about him. He's a horn-dog and an idiot. He really isn't a bad person, though," he said as Kazuo groaned in the background.

Shikamaru smiled, more at the fact Kazuo had gotten pummeled than at the fact that Hisoka was apologizing, but said lazily, "I got it. I know a person like him."

Hisoka looked pained at the mention there might be another person like Kazuo, but said, "Hopefully, the girls won't take too long. There's a lot of the academy to show you, and I'm sure that you will want to get settled in before nightfall."

Almost as if they had sensed his words, two pairs of footsteps sounded.

Shikamaru turned to greet them, and then everything that he had planned to say flew completely out of his head. Naruto was… wow. It was amazing how that puny three-lettered word was the only word that described how Naruto looked.

"So, Shikamaru, how do you think Naru-chan looks?" Kotone asked, smiling.

Shikamaru looked at the subject of the conversation, eyes trailing over her form. Against all odds, Kotone had managed to get Naruto into a dress. It went just past her knees, slit up the side so that she could move easily, and clung to her body. It had a high neck and no sleeves, but a pair of dark blue arm warmers that hooked over her thumbs accompanied the outfit. The dress fit her almost like a second skin, showing off all of her curves, and, of course… it was orange. A smile flitted over Shikamaru's face. Of course the dress was orange. There was little probability that Naruto would agree to wear something that wasn't orange, but this was – she looked… wow. There was that word again. Then, he realized that he still hadn't answered Kotone's question.

He cleared his throat hurriedly and said, "She looks wonderful."

Kotone nodded, "She does, right? You have no idea how hard it was to get her into a dress, though. The only way I got her into this one was because it was orange."

Naruto pouted. "Dresses are impractical! Pants are so much better, but… orange is awesome! What do you think, Shika?" she asked, twirling around to show off the dress. The skirt flared upwards, showing more tan skin.

He swallowed. "I think you look beautiful." The words were out before he could stop them.

Naruto's eyes widened, and she flushed.

Kotone giggled, and nudged Naruto in the side, only making her blush worse.

Kazuo, of course, butted in then. He stepped forward, apparently over getting smashed into the wall, and kissed Naruto's hand. "You look gorgeous, Naru-chan."

By now, Naruto looked positively confused and her face was the color of a tomato.

Kotone and Hisako were watching from the sidelines, and almost looked as if they were amused.

Shikamaru grabbed Naruto's other and pulled her towards him and away from Kazuo. He draped a possessive arm over her shoulders and drew her closer to him, close enough that she squeaked, and, to Shikamaru's surprise, didn't pull away. Either she still remembered that they were supposed to be playing girl friend and boy friend, or she actually didn't mind the close contact when he initiated it. He found himself hoping for the second option. He lowered his arm from being draped across her shoulders to snaking it around her waist and glanced at Kotone and Hisako. This seemed to snap them out of whatever stupor they were in.

"Right! We'll start the tour now!" they said in unison, guiding Naruto and Shikamaru through the entrance of the academy, ignoring the shouts of Kazuo about being, well, ignored.

The inside of the building was all painted walls and wooden floors and paintings.

Kazuo fell into step on Naruto's other side, much to Shikamaru's displeasure, and he could see Kazuo eyeballing Naruto.

He just had to calm down. There were too many people around to kill him. He'd wait until later.

Kotone and Hisako's voices blended together as they took turns explaining about the building and everything else to do with it. They really did seem to compliment each other well. "We have clans, mostly from Kirigakure, that send their children here to learn how to be shinobi, but the children of civilians attend as well. They start training when they're four, although it's more like baby-sitting or a play group at the beginning, and then, when they turn ten, they are given the option of continuing their training or quitting and either doing what ever they wanted, or become apprenticed to other professionals in the village or take over the family business. Then, the ones who have chosen to continue their training for two years. Then, they take an exam to become genin. If they succeed, they are put on teams of three with an instructor, and if they fail, they train for another year if they wish, and if they fail the next time, they lose their chance to become a shinobi and we either help them find a job to do with shinobi or protecting the village, or they choose to do something else. The ones who did pass the exam study under their senseis until they become chunin and then they operate in their teams for missions or go their separate ways."

Shikamaru nodded as they explained, paying attention with most of his mind, although a corner of his mind couldn't help but notice that Kazuo was watching Naruto's hips switch back and forth as they walked with a huge perverted grin on his face. Shikamaru was surprised that Kazuo didn't a nosebleed yet, and was tempted to punch him in the nose to give him one. Really, when did he turn into such a possessive, violent, pervert? The answer? Since he had found out that Naruto was a girl. He really hoped that this behavior wasn't a trend. At this rate he'd have to lock Naruto in a tower to be satisfied that she was safe from the unsavory approaches of the male sex. His lips quirked into a smile. He wouldn't mind locking Naruto in a tower… alone… with only him. He really needed help. Did they have clinics to cure people of perversion?

Back to the way that the Yugakure's system worked. It was a lot like Konoha's system, except that they started training earlier, and the options available weren't quite the same. And Konoha let the kids try three times instead of two. It actually sounded like the Yugakure had their shit together, maybe more than Konoha. The way that Kotone and Hisoka explained it, it made it sound like they really tried and cared. Shikamaru glanced at Naruto. He knew only too well that in Konoha kids could be ignored and be pushed to the side. Of course, the academy here probably wasn't perfect either.

Kotone stopped outside a sliding door. "One of the classes is in session, but I'm sure that the teacher won't mind us visiting." She slid open the door and ushered them inside.

The room was shaped like a partial amphitheater, with steps leading down from the doorway, where a teacher stood behind a desk and in front of a blackboard. The set up looked so familiar that Shikamaru wondered whether it was a copy of their own classrooms.

The faces of curious students peered at them from every direction.

The teacher, span around and smiled when she saw who it was. She had violet colored hair, pulled up into a loose bun, apricot colored eyes, and pale skin. "Lady Kotone, Hisoka… Kazuo. Nice to see you again. And I see you brought guests?"

Kotone nodded. "Yes, this is my one of my friends from Konoha, Naruto, and her boyfriend, Shikamaru. I thought they might be interested in our academy."

The woman smiled at them. "Oh, well it's nice to meet you two. My name is Anzu, and this is my class."

One of the students piped up. "Yeah! We're going to become genin in a week!" The one who had spoken was a boy with short, spiky black hair and baggy dark green clothing that seemed to have an unlimited number of pockets.

Anzu sighed, "Yukio, sit back down."

The boy chose to ignore her advice, and, instead, hopped over his desk and stood in front of Shikamaru and Naruto. His gaze wandered over them both before settling on Naruto, or, more specifically, on her chest. "Wow! Your boobs are bigger than Anzu-sensei's!"

The room lapsed into absolute silence while everyone stared at the boy, Yukio. Then one of the largest amount of killer intent the Shikamaru had ever witness welled up in the room, almost making it hard to breathe. More than a dozen girls, the female students in the room, had stood up and ominous waves were coming off of them, and they all happened to be glaring at Yukio.

"You are so dead," another boy whispered, and then he saluted, "It was a pleasure to know you."

Anzu looked like she would want nothing more than to sink into the floor or give the boy endless detention.

Shikamaru glanced at Naruto, who had yet to say anything, even though she was the one being objectified.

She was just staring down at the boy, eyes wide. Everyone was waiting to see how she responded. Then, she grinned. "Yeah, they are kind of big, aren't they?" she asked proudly, groping her own breasts.

Kazuo got an instant nosebleed; Hisako turned away, and Shikamaru got the distinct impression that he had a nosebleed, and Kotone yelled, "Naruto!" in an outraged voice.

Shikamaru quickly wiped away a trickle of blood and stared at Naruto. That was definitely not the right reaction. She should be embarrassed at the very least and murderous at the most. Of course, her attitude towards the whole thing might have something to do with actually being a boy a few years ago. She had actually been a pubescent boy, so it made sense, in a completely twisted way, that she would understand Yukio's interest in large breasts. Because she had been? Or maybe still was? The whole situation was weird, but he didn't really expect anything otherwise with Naruto.

Yukio was still staring up at Naruto, and seemed flabbergasted, like he had been expecting to be clobbered. Then, a slow grin formed on Yukio's face, and he exclaimed, "You're awesome! Anzu and Kotone would have walloped be if I'd said that to them. Same with the rest of the girls, and they're all flat compared to you." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder where said girls were sharpening kunai. He paused for a second, and then added, "Well, except for Ran-chan."

A girl with extremely pale hair, tanned skin, and a definite bust line, squeaked and crossed her arms over her chest.

Yukio smoothed his bangs back from his face and wriggled his eyebrows, sidling up to Naruto. "So, Kotone said that he's your boyfriend, but is it serious, or do I have a chance?"

Shikamaru exhaled sharply through his nose. Really? First Kazuo and now this twelve year old, they were both after Naruto. Even if the kid was, well, just a kid, it was still annoying. So, Shikamaru did what he thought was the right thing to do if he was acting like a jealous boyfriend, not that he was one, of course. He whacked the kid over the head, just like Naruto should have. "I'm her boyfriend, and she doesn't need another one. Try again when you've got a few more inches on you," Shikamaru said lazily, like the kid wasn't worth his time, which only served to infuriate the raven haired boy.

Yukio narrowed his eyes and glared up at the Nara. The look he was giving him would have made even Sasuke give him props or at least an "Hn" for its intensity. "I am not short!" he yelled, eye twitching.

Naruto moved away from Shikamaru and frowned at him. "Yeah! He's not short!"

Shikamaru groaned inwardly. Was he really a genius? He should have known better. Of course Naruto would be touchy about the shortness topic. After all, when she had been younger and a he, she, or rather he, had been short. That sentence was just too confusing.

He held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. He's not short. How troublesome…" He stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched.

Naruto turned to Yukio and said, "Sorry, but Shika's my boyfriend."

Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat. Even if it wasn't real, hearing Naruto say that affected him.

Naruto continued, "You are so cute, though!" She hugged him, unconsciously pressing his head onto her breasts.

Yukio, now renamed "the little bastard" in Shikamaru's mind, turned his head and smirked at him.

It wasn't worth blowing his cover as a civilian to use any number of painful and humiliating jutsu on the boy. He just needed to keep repeating that.

Once Naruto let go, Anzu finally blew up. "Yukio Nakamura! How dare you act like this! You are well on your way to becoming a genin of this you want to dishonor us all? You need to think about your behavior and how it reflects on others before you act. Lady Kotone, perhaps it would be better if you visited another day. Would that be acceptable?" She was holding Yukio by the back of his shirt with one arm in the air.

Kotone nodded, still seemingly shocked by what had witnessed and Hisoka nudged her towards the door.

Kazuo walked up to Yukio and grinned at him. "Good job, man. You make me proud."

Why was it not surprising that Kazuo was corrupting the youth?

Yukio beamed up at the older boy, and they bumped fists.

Then, Kazuo winked at Anzu. "Hey, are you busy after class? We could go out for some dango, or we could skip the food altogether," he asked suggestively.

Anzu's face turned a rather flattering shade of pink, and she scowled at Kazuo. "No, I would not like to get something to eat with you. I am five years older than you, and you're a bad influence on the children!" she snapped.

Kazuo was still grinning, his mood apparently not dampened by her refusal. Instead, he disappeared and then reappeared behind her, giving her butt a pat before fleeing the room while she screamed some very creative death threats after him.

Naruto seemed to be overcome with giggles, and Shikamaru took her by the hand and hauled her out of the room. The last thing that he heard from within the room was Anzu saying, "Now, I think we should head outside for some sparring. Who wants to have Yukio as a sparring partner?"

"We do," the girls chorused, murderous intent lacing their furious voices.

Yukio whimpered, and then the door slid shut.

Shikamaru couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Yukio. He was in for a world of pain by angry females. Maybe the system that they used wasn't quite perfect, but everything had little issues, didn't it? And the academy seemed to have perverted students and angry females as an issue. It almost reminded him of Konoha.

He turned to Naruto who was still giggling. "Did we learn anything from that?" he asked. They were supposed to be learning vital information about who would want to hurt Kotone and about the newly formed shinobi village.

"Nothing useful," she said, fighting to keep a straight face.

He nodded without energy. That was true enough.

"Dinner will be in an hour. How about we head back to my house? I'm sorry about the class. It's not usually like that, really," Kotone said apologetically, "I can show you the rest of the academy and town tomorrow."

Naruto's stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.

"That's fine. It would be too much work to see the rest of this place now anyways."

Naruto agreed with him, clutching her stomach and pouting. "I think my stomach is eating my stomach! I need to eat before it moves on to my other organs! I need them!"

Shikamaru snorted at the ridiculousness of the statement before narrowing his eyes as Kazuo popped up next to Naruto.

"Hey, Kotone, do I get invited to eat at your house tonight?" he asked.

She lifted her chin and gave him a very annoyed, and somehow regal, look. "No."

It was simple, and exactly what Shikamaru wanted to hear.

Hisoka backed her up. "Kazuo, don't even think about it. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let you near the students, and Anzu is going to write a complaint to the council about your behavior… again. Besides, we were supposed to be stationed at the walls today, and Gin took our spot. Go join him."

Kazuo let out a long suffering sigh and grabbed Naruto's hand, declaring dramatically, "Sadly, I've been sent away, but I'll see you tomorrow, my sweet Naru-chan. In the meantime, I'll be wishing that I was in your company." Then he kissed a surprised Naruto on the cheek before shunshining and disappearing in a small burst of water and steam.

Okay, that settled it. He was going to seriously hurt Kazuo next time he saw him. He grabbed Naruto's hand and hauled her towards the exit of the academy. "Let's go and get something to eat."

Naruto let out a whoop and ran past him, now dragging him after her. "Food!" And, just like that, she seemed to have completely forgotten that Kazuo had just kissed her on the cheek.

Apparently, food ranked much higher than Kazuo. He couldn't help wonder if he rated above food, and what sort of reaction Naruto would have if he kissed her. He sighed, letting Naruto drag him along. Maybe with Kazuo gone he could actually learn something important and focus on finding out who wanted Kotone dead instead of worrying about Naruto getting molested. His fingers twitched for his cigarettes, and he sighed again. This really was the most troublesome mission that he'd ever been on, and it wasn't even halfway over. Tcha… Troublesome…

Heh heh. Hello, everyone. Now, let's just hang on a second and put any ideas of homicide on hold. I know some of you reading this might want to rearrange my internal organs, skin me with a rusty serrated knife, roll me in salt, pluck out my eyes with a pair of chopsticks, scalp me, have me drawn and quartered, and then burn the mangled remains of my body over a fire, but let me explain why I haven't uploaded a chapter in so long. First, I was out of town for more than a week, and by out of town I mean that I was somewhere where there was only enough electricity for three light bulbs, certainly not enough for a computer. Secondly, I've been dealing with the craziness that is my family, and what's happening with college. And, thirdly, I... forgot. Jeez, I'm really sorry. Just to make sure that you all know this... I am going to finish this story, and there's a whole bunch more to write. I will not fail, dattebayo! Sorry, I couldn't resist. So, please don't murder me in some sort of extremely painful way.

Ja ne,

Rumer

harlequin320: Yeah... You said to update soon, right? Yeah, sorry about that. It didn't quite happen. But you did ask to keep the story up, and I will do that.

Fk306 animelover: Glad you think that my story is great, and I'm just as glad that you were looking forward to more of the story. It took a while, but here's more of it.

Ice Cold Steel: You were wondering whether I was alive last time? Well, you must have thought I was deader than a doornail this time. I kind of have been attacked by something school related, but more family related except that the school thing and the family thing are intertwined. I'm starting to think that Murphy's law applies to my life in a frighteningly accurate way. Anyway, unlike your sister, you don't drive me crazy or annoy me at all when you correct my grammar. And, yes, Takeshi's explanation for why he turned the village into a shinobi village was the only one that made sense to me. Kotone and Hisako are... well, not lovers, but there's some serious something going on. I'm going to say that they like each other, but Kotone's of a higher, er, class than Hisoka, and Hisoka knows it, but he's being an absolute gentlemanly retard and is trying to ignore his feelings for her and just do his job protecting her. Now Shikamaru has two people that he would gladly kill if he could, and one of them is a twelve year old, although he is perverted. Poor guy. Yeah, it's nice that I got into two colleges, and I think I've decided on which one I want to go to, but family is making it difficult. You are so lucky for not having to worry about college yet. I'm staying strong! Sort of. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only dane person in the house, and that's kind of unnerving because I don't think I'm particularly sane. Scary. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. As an apology, this is twice the length of my usual chapter.

krystal: Thanks for the review, Krystal. Getting told, or written, that my story is hilarious is great, and it's even better getting told that someone loves my story. Sorry it took so long to update, but I'll update much sooner next time.

Nero Strauss: Ah, enjoyable chapters are my specialties. I think it would be perfect for Kotone to find out that Naruto is really a girl eventually, but I can't spoil the surprise immediately, now can I? Nope, can't do it, but don't worry, she'll find out eventually.

meglepetes: I know! How Shikamaru must hate that vest now. I mean, really? Is it so much to ask for one little button to pop?

Sillvog: You were absolutely right. Naruto's dress was... orange. You just can't get away from the color. It's awesome, to Naruto at least. Although, I must say that it's a horrible color for a ninja. Hope I didn't disappoint with the clothing I chose for her. I just kept seeing her in the dress when I was thinking of the chapter. Now if I could really get a girl to wear that...

SweetHunniiBunni: Naruto is cute and bubbly, isn't she? Not that bright, but cute and very cheerful and persistent. She balances Shikamaru perfectly. I'm afraid that I've introduced more perverts to my story. They just make everything more interesting and... well, more perverted. That's never a bad thing, right? I will keep up the good work, and sorry for taking so long. I am going to continue this story.

putu: Seriously? This is the only non-yaoi almost lime story on your favorites list? I'm honored. And no, I'm not being sarcastic; I'm seriously happy about that. I like how I write Shikamaru, too. He's my favorite character, and, yes, he is a pervert. It's just not nearly as blatant as it is with someone like, say, Kakashi. I still have a while before I head off to college. I think I'm going to defer a year, so I should have time to write this.

lordamnesia: Pretty damn funny=good. Ah, I just love math, don't you? Nope, Naruto can't seem to understand anything to do with herself, only other people. I have the oddest feeling that Sasuke wouldn't welcome Shikamaru dating Naruto with open arms? Yeah, there might be some problems... and some blood spilled.

schnookums: You wanted to see Naruto as a dress up doll, and that translated into a dress in my mind. It had to be orange, though. There's no way around that. I swear, this isn't going to be SasuNaru. It's honestly not my favorite pairing. I mean, Sasuke's a bastard, plus he did try to kill Naruto. I don't think I'd feel safe dating someone who did that to me. Was Shikamaru's reaction to Naruto's girliness okay? Oh, and thanks for the props on the collages. I'm happy about it, I think.

Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki: Wow. That review really stood out. I actually think that with enough stress Shikamaru might crack and kill someone. Poor guy. Naruto is really innocent when it comes to certain things. I'm pretty sure that Sasuke prefers guys. All of those fan girls, although most of them are scary. Sakura? Ew. You'd think that he'd find one girl he liked, but nope. There's no way that he is getting together with Naruto in my fanfiction. Not going to happen, but I am going to make him a bit less of an asshole.

narachan: Hah! Glad you like the story so much, and I'm really sorry about the wait. I can only hope that you're still reading this fanficiton, Nara-chan.

blucross: You're the second person who wants Kotone to find out that Naruto is really a girl and not just pretending to be one with a henge. Let me assure you, she will find out eventually, but it might be a while. I'm not sure that Naruto will tell her, but she'll find out.

Immortal Sailor Cosmos: It's great that everyone thinks that I got Shikamaru is character. It's important, at least to me. And, yes, Ino did get pregnant a little young, but I suppose she loves Choji and her parents agreed, so it's okay. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but it may have helped that Naruto really was a boy for the first thirteen years of his, her, life. And the whole thing with Sasuke becoming a missing nin thing... It's already happened. This story is a little AU, so please bear with it. She's just afraid to tell people that she's really a girl. Naruto not getting people's romantic emotions about her is to do with being a guy for the first part o her life and then still being disguised as one, plus her natural thickness. The radio chakra earrings would be great for them, wouldn't they? I'm not actually sure if Asuma is dead or not. Since I'm writing this disturbing series of words, I control what happens, so I might bring him back from the dead. Who knows? You will get to see Asuma's baby, though.