!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... COLO... PIEVERSIET UZMANIBU !*!*!

Disclaimer: The character and plot of Naruto, along with anything else you can think of, doesn't belong to me. I do however take full credit in using the characters in Naruto for my own perverse imaginings. Get it? Got it? Good. On with the story, if you can handle it...

Morning came only too soon, at least for Shikamaru. It had taken him hours to get to sleep because of a certain blonde haired jinchuuriki. He had also had a dream; in the dream, Naruto had been sitting on his bed, holding a shoji board, and asking him to play with her. Her nightgown had kept shrinking, too. So, while it had been a great dream, it hadn't been conducive to getting any rest.

He stared at the ceiling, too lazy to actually get up and out of bed. Most shinobi, or at least the good ones, the ones that stayed alive, had a sort of sixth sense, something that came from the need to survive, and Shikamaru was getting a feeling now. He had the feeling that today was going to be long and disturbing, with a smattering of men trying to hit on Naruto. Oh, joy.

But, he would have to get up eventually. So, with a groan, he turned over on his side and rolled to his feet. After a quick change of clothing, a pair of black pants and brown shirt, courtesy of the chest of drawers provided by Kotone, he shoved on his shoes and opened the door, only to find Naruto standing there, arm raised as if about to knock.

"Oh! Morning, Shika," she chirped, grinning brightly.

"Morning," he grunted back, and then tried to get past Naruto.

Naruto, on the other hand, wasn't moving. Instead, she was staring at him.

He waved a hand in front of her face. "Naruto? What's up?"

"Your hair," she murmured.

He blinked. That was all? It must have been the first time that she'd seen him with his hair down, out of its ponytail. It came down to his shoulders, but there wasn't anything amazing about it, certainly nothing to justify her staring like he'd invented a new flavor of ramen.

Then, Naruto said one of the last things that he expected. "You know, you have really pretty hair," she said, reaching up and fingering a thick strand of it. "You should wear it down more often."

Maybe he was still dreaming. That would explain what was happening right now, but he could feel the closeness of Naruto's body and her fingers running through his hair.

He cleared his throat, trying to keep unbidden images out of his mind. "I'll keep that in mind." Then, he reached down for the band that he used to keep his hair up, the one that should have been on his wrist, but wasn't.

"Here," Naruto said, pulling one, an orange one, of course, off of her wrist. "Bend down a little." He obeyed before what she said even really processed. All he knew was that her hands were in his hair again, his face was very close to her bust, and he was becoming a pervert against his better judgment. "There," Naruto said, patting his head.

"Thanks…"

A stifled giggle came from down the hall and Shikamaru's head swiveled to see who it was. It was Kotone. How had be not noticed she was there? Wasn't he supposed to be a ninja? "You two look so much like a couple. Are you guys sure that you're not…" she asked, and then let her voice trail off suggestively.

Naruto was simply looking at her blankly. "Are we sure we're not what?"

Oh, Kami. How could someone be so innocent?

Kotone stared back at her. "Are you serious?"

Naruto continued to stare at her.

Finally, Kotone sighed. "I can't believe it… Never mind. Naruto, breakfast is on the table."

"Food!" Naruto yelled, running down the hall in a blur of orange, and leaving Shikamaru and Kotone alone in what was quickly becoming an awkward silence.

"So… Have you told her, I mean, him?" Kotone asked, breaking the silence.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, have you told him that you like him?" Kotone clarified.

Shikamaru wasn't sure that it was possible, but the situation got even more awkward. "I don't like him," Shikamaru denied.

"Yeah, you do. It's obvious by the way that you look at him," she retorted back, arms crossed.

Shikamaru closed his eyes exasperatedly. Why was Kotone pursuing this topic so aggressively? He thought that she was a meek, polite, sweet girl. Right now, she was acting more like Ino than Hinata, who she had originally reminded him of. And, really, was it that obvious?

Kotone seemed to be able to read his mind. "It's not thaaat obvious, but it is to me. The way that you look at Naruto goes past just acting like you're her, I mean, his, boyfriend," she said quietly.

The annoying thing was that Kotone was actually right, besides the fact that she thought that Naruto was a guy. He did like Naruto. He opened his eyes and leveled a lazy glare at her. "And? How is this your business?"

She met his glare with an unexpectedly soft look. "Have you told him yet?"

Shikamaru shook his head, "No… It would be too troublesome…"

Kotone stumbled, although Shikamaru wasn't sure how, since she hadn't been moving. "Too troublesome?" she asked weakly, as if unsure whether to laugh, hit him, or tear her hair out by the roots. "Shikamaru… You should tell him before someone else does. I know that he's getting a lot of attention in his henge, but I'm sure that people are interested in him in his guy form, too." She paused and then continued. "Although, he does seem a little – er – innocent. But, anyways, Shikamaru, you should tell him. Gender, age, or… social status shouldn't matter when you like someone." She bit her lip and looked away from him.

Shikamaru knew what she was really thinking of. He wasn't an idiot; in fact, he was a genius. The difference in position between herself and Hisoka, that was it. If the fact that he liked Naruto was a bit obvious, then the feelings between Kotone and her partial guard and apparent best friend, Hisoka, were glaringly obvious. The feelings of attraction between them were definitely mutual, but Hisoka clearly didn't think that he was of high enough position for her. Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. This whole thing was giving him a headache. He needed to sneak away and watch some clouds, and maybe smoke a cigarette or two. Possibly three, but definitely no more than five. He sighed. It would be way too much work to deny that he had any feeling whatsoever for Naruto.

"I'll think about it, okay?" he said finally.

She nodded, giving him a small smile. "Okay. Just as long as you thing about it. Anyway… Food's ready."

She walked past him, but he stopped her. "Is there a way to the roof?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just go down to the end of the hallway. There's a door that looks like a closet. Open it, and there will be stairs leading to the roof," Kotone said, giving him a slightly odd look and then continuing down the hallway.

He followed her directions, and arrived at a wooden door, and then a rickety pair of winding stairs. He pushed open a trap door in the ceiling, and bright, warm, sunlight flowed over him. Heaving himself up, he looked around.

There was a garden on the roof. Flowers and vegetables and fruits were intermingled, growing amongst one another and creating a beautiful array of colors. The roof seemed to be at a slope. Shikamaru looked at it more closely. There was a draining system under the wooden planter boxes and the small patch of green grass. It was smart, and not something that he'd seen before. They could maximize their crops this way, among other things, and if food supplied ever got cut off from other villages, then they could be self sustained. It was more than smart, it was a brilliant war strategy, although not in the traditional sense.

He slouched over the patch of green grass and collapsed down onto the thick, green, grass, rolling over onto his back and folding his hands behind his head. The clouds floated by slowly overhead, pure white against the blue, slightly tinged with gray, sky. Slowly, he closed his eyes, letting the ever flowing clouds lull him into some semblance of relaxation.

A little while later, everything went dark. He opened his eyes and saw Naruto standing over him, her body casting a deep shadow over him. Usually he would be irked to say the least, if someone disturbed him, but Shikamaru didn't actually mind it when Naruto did it.

"Shikamaru?"

"Hmm?"

"I brought you some food. Kotone told me you had asked where the roof was, so I thought you had come up to cloud watch," she said, sitting down next to him and unwrapping a cloth covered bundle on the grass next to him. She picked up a bun and held it out to him. "Come on, eat something. Kotone's taking us out in a little."

He accepted the offered food, chewing it slowly as Naruto lay down on the ground next to him.

After several moments of silence, her hand shot up and she pointed to a cloud. "Look at that one. You know what it looks like?"

Knowing Naruto, it would probably have something to do with Ramen or training. He squinted at the fluffy blob. "A bowl of ramen?"

"What? Where? Oh, you mean the cloud. No, I think the cloud looks like a fox!"

He squinted even more and concluded that it looked like a fox… with three tails and no head, maybe.

He twisted onto his side and reached out slowly, intent on wrapping an arm around her waist, when Kotone called, "Shikamaru! Naruto! Come on!" He jerked his arm back, eye twitching. Kotone wanted him to admit his feelings to Naruto, and yet the last two times he had tried to do anything, she had interrupted!

Naruto bounced up, clearly completely oblivious to the internal turmoil of her shinobi partner. "Okay! Let's go!" she yelled, pumping her fist in the air. Seeing that Shikamaru wasn't getting up, and most likely thinking he was just being lazy, she stood over him and pouted. "Shika, come on! You can look at the clouds later!"

He shook his head and got up slowly, following a now happily chattering Naruto down the stairs. Really, what did the universe have against him? Did the universe not want him to be closer to Naruto? He shook his head. Now, he was just being ridiculous. He knew better than to think like that; it was illogical... right?

Kotone was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. "Hisoka had to go fill in for guard duty on the walls, but I remembered there's supposed to be a fight today. You guys might like to see it."

A fight?

Seeing the look of confusion on their faces, or at least Naruto's, Kotone clarified. "Our village has teams of three students, just like yours, with their senseis, and they gather at the training grounds every week or two to spar against one another, to see who's team is improving in what way. It's just a little friendly competition. Father's found that it actually makes the shinobi work better together, not just in their squad. Instead, they all come together like one giant team. Do you guys want to go see?"

"Sounds… not too troublesome," Shikamaru said, as Naruto bounced up and down eagerly.

As she bounced, Shikamaru couldn't help notice that certain… assets bounced as well, and he wasn't thinking about her pig tails. Was she even wearing a bra? He shook his head. He needed to clear his thoughts.

Slightly numb, he followed Naruto and Kotone out of the house and down the road, only coming back to reality when Naruto grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his. She didn't even say anything, and he didn't either. He just tightened his hold on her hand.

Kotone giggled quietly on Naruto's other side and squealed softly. "So cute!"

Naruto looked at Kotone strangely before turning back to Shikamaru. "What's wrong with her?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "It's something that teenaged girls are prone to do."

"She sounds like someone shoved a dying parakeet down her throat." That statement was so odd that Shikamaru didn't even try to answer it.

Before he knew it, they were back at the school, the very, very odd school that they had visited yesterday. Only, this time Kotone led them around to the back of the school instead of into it. There was a huge, flat, worn, training ground, and quite a few people were already there. It looked like a mixture between a fight tournament and a picnic. Blankets were scattered all over the ground right under the trees at the edge of the training grounds, and people were sparing almost playfully in the center.

"Naru-chan!" a voice hollered, and Shikamaru glared at the blur speeding across the training ground towards them.

"Kazuo…" The name came out as a groan.

Said perverted person currently had Naruto's hands clasped in his own hands. "I'm so glad to see you see you here today, Naru-chan. Did you come to see me?"

Shikamaru tried to tune out Kazuo's inane flirting, and his eyes settled on something peeking out of the guy's pocket. It was a very familiar orange covered book. With swift fingers, he plucked the item out of Kazuo's pocket and looked at it. It was one of the Icha Icha books. For some reason, Shikamaru wasn't surprised. He would have been more surprised if Kazuo didn't read the lascivious books. He cleared his throat loudly and dangled the book in front of him. "I think you dropped this, Kazuo."

Kazuo turned around, and then he hurriedly grabbed the book, cradling it to his chest. "Ah! I can't believe I almost lost you! My precious…"

Shikamaru's eye twitched. That as just wrong on so many levels that hadn't even been created yet.

Kotone looked curiously at the book. "What is it?"

Ahh, someone whose innocence hadn't been corrupted yet. Shikamaru patted her on the shoulder. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Meanwhile, Naruto was staring at Kazuo. "No way! You read Ero-sennin's books?" she gasped, pointing at the book.

Kazuo froze. "Wait… Ero-sennin? Do you know the artist behind this beautiful masterpiece of erotic literature?"

Okay, now things were getting even creepier, although Shikamaru hadn't realized that was possible.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I kind of do," she admitted.

"Really? Then… do you think you could introduce me to him? It's just… I'm a writer, too, and I thought that he could maybe look at some of my work… He's publish that other author' work, so maybe he'd look at mine," Kazuo practically begged.

It was true. In the latest Icha Icha book, he'd published a short story in the back by someone who went by Ren, simply Ren. The story had been surprisingly good, somehow managing to be both more perverted and more tasteful than the Toad Sannin, however contradicting that seemed.

Naruto flushed slightly. "You want me to get Ero-sennin to publish your story like Ren's? Well… Give me a copy, and I'll get it to him," she said finally.

Shikamaru looked at her closely. Why exactly had she flushed? And why did she know the author's name of the new story? Unless… Did she read Icha Icha, too? He wouldn't be surprised if the Toad Sannin made her proof read his stories as some sort of twisted training. And if he ever found out Naruto was actually a girl, and a hot one at that, then who knows what would happen? Shikamaru made a silent vow to make sure that Jiraiya never used Naruto for his stories and to make sure to keep Naruto's gender a secret as long as possible.

Overjoyed at the prospect of his work being seen by his apparent hero, Kazuo hugged Naruto tightly, and then his hands started to drift lower, until they rested on her hips. Then they went lower.

Shikamaru chose that time to interfere. He pulled Kazuo away from her, span him around, pulled back his arm, and then punched Kazuo squarely in the face. He kept the force in the range that an outraged civilian would have been able to muster, but it still felt good.

Then, stepping over Kazuo's cursing form, he wrapped an arm around Naruto's waist and grabbed Kotone's arm, leading them towards the other people who were now staring at them. "Come on. Didn't you say you were going to introduce us to some people, Kotone?"

She looked back at Kazuo unsurely, but then nodded and strode away.

Naruto on the other hand, simply said, "That was awesome! Do you know he grabbed my butt? I was about to punch him myself! Thanks, Shika."

Well, it was nice that Naruto wasn't actually so naive that she hadn't noticed what Kazuo had been doing. Plus, she appreciated what he did. Shikamaru kept his hand around her waist and followed Kotone, hoping that the people ahead wouldn't be any weirder than the ones that he had already met. He didn't have much hope. A man was leaning against a tree, blindfolded, licking a large knife, and two women, one wearing next to nothing, were screaming at each other while everyone else ignored them like it was an everyday occurrence. Scratch that, he didn't have any hope for normalcy entering into the equation at all. How… troublesome.

Hello, everyone. It took a little bit, but another chapter has been completed. Wow. I got tons of reviews on the last chapter, and guess what? I have over a hundred reviews! Can you believe it? Triple digits! Oh, yeah. So, I'd also like to give special thanks to Ice Cold Steel, who was the one hundredth reviewer, and to babycandydusk, who made a really awesome fan art of Naruto. If you want to look at it, go to the reviews page and the link it on babycandydusk's review. So, yeah, I'm really happy about this all. Oh, I do have one thing that's bothering me, though. I was randomly clicking stories, and I would up reading one... It started out completely normal, and then things took a disturbing turn. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make Kakashi and Might Guy a couple? What the hell? Really? I mean, the story didn't even warm me that it was YAOI, much less that. Please tell me that none of you have written such a story, or, if you have, could you please explain it to me? Because I don't think I'll ever be able to get the images that those words invoked out of my mind. Scarred. For. Life. Okay, so that's all. I'm just happy that my sibling's finals are over so he'll stop being to tetchy, and that I got so many reviews. Thanks all.

Ja ne,

Rumer

Ice Cold Steel: I've come to the conclusion that we both might be psychic. You're taking the AP exams? You poor, poor, person. My Mother was completely pissed that I didn't take them. Oh, well. Thanks for finding the mistakes and telling me about them, although I'm a little annoyed that there were so many. I think I fixed all of the ones that you pointed out, though. But, also as you pointed out, they aren't major mistakes, and yes, I am human... or at least that's what the government thinks... Moving on. Yeah, you'll have to keep wondering who's the bad guy or if I even introduced him/her yet. I'm evil like that. As for Katsutoshi liking ramen, he's a little more mellow about his love of the food. I'm not really sure that anyone could match Naruto's passion for it. I feel a little bad for torturing Shikamaru so much with everything that's happening, but it's hilarious, at least I hope it it, so he'll just have to suffer. And, yes, you are the one hundredth reviewer! Congratulations! You win... virtual brownies and a virtual hug from me, which, in reality, is worth absolutely nothing. But, still, thanks for reviewing. Oh, and thank you for sending me that email. I appreciate it.

Vaughn Tyler: Thanks. Good to know that you like it.

putu: Seriously? Come on, this story isn't that bad... I hope. Although, now that I think about it. I might not be the happiest person in the world if my younger brother did something like this. Oh, well. He can deal with it, or pretend that he never saw any of it. Anyway, you requested more Shika/Naru fluffiness, and I hope that I obliged you in that request.

Cenright: Wow. I mean, thanks for that. It's nice when people notice that sort of thing, and I'll try to keep everything in balance.

Rika-chan24: Hello, Rika-chan, and thanks for reviewing. Did you really read my story in an hour? Well, I suppose I need to write more then. I'm glad you like my story, and I will definitely keep updating as long as you keep reading.

harlequin320: Did you like this chapter as well? Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and glad you liked it.

9tailedokami16x: Thanks, er, elder demon. Good to know that my chapters are, well, good.

Nero Strauss: You know, I think you may be right. Shino is just so quiet. If it wasn't for the bugs, you might even forget that he was even there. I bet he'd have an amazing reaction to her secret. Or maybe... Hmmm... It's something to think about, so thanks. I'm actually a little scared to put Deidara and Naruto together in the same chapter. There's only so much blonde craziness that a person can take... which is exactly why I think it might be a good idea. I like your suggestions, and I'll probably use them. I'm not quite sure what the name of the emotion is that you're talking about, but it is a good thing, I think. Anyway, thanks for the comments and for reviewing.

narachan: Yes, poor, poor Shikamaru. He's been denied, and not even intentionally on Naruto's part. Seriously, Kotone keeps interrupting, not that she means to. Awesome as always? Well, thanks for the compliment, and for waiting patiently. I hope this chapter was worth it, Nara-chan.

Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki: Wow, you are a little scary, not that I mind at all. But, you do have one thing wrong. Ozuru and Katsutoshi are not like Orochimaru and Kabuto in that manner... Oh my god. Their names even start with the same letters. That's a little scary. I swear it wasn't on purpose, though.

blucross: Yeah, you probably should feel sorry for Shikamaru. I mean, I feel sorry for what I'm putting him through, and I'm the one writing this stuff. I still plan to add more guys to flirt with Naruto, though. The more the merrier, and the more annoyed Shikamaru will act. It would have been cute if they fell asleep in each other's arms, but, sadly, it was not to be. Maybe in a later chapter.

Sillvog: Yep, a possible villain, possibly. But, he might not be bad, either. You'll just have to keep reading to find out. And, no, Shikamaru will not catch a break anytime soon. Why, you ask? Because I'm evil like that. I'm glad that you're enjoying the chapters, and I hope this one makes you laugh as well.

Midori Ookami: Well, Midori, this is the first time that you've reviewed, isn't it? So, thanks. Sorry it took me so long to update, but things have been busy with finals and all. Please keep reading and reviewing.

1m-pr1n7: Wow, you're new to reviewing, too, aren't you? I appreciate it, and I'm glad that you like the story. It's nice to hear.

krystal: Good and good. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I added in a bunch of Shika/Naru fluff. It's rather nice, if I may say so myself.

babycandydusk: The fan art you made is completely awesome. It's a new milestone for me. Someone actually made a fan art from my story. You wouldn't believe the retarded grin I had on my face when I saw what you drew. I hope you didn't mind, but I added it in to the story, sort of. It really was his dream. So... THANK YOU!

Reenan Lefey: Thanks. I do try to keep the characters in, well, character. While I understand if people want to express different sides and emotions of characters, sometimes people just go too far.

hana-chan: That... is one of the best things to read in a review. There must be millions of stories on this site, and you said that this is the best story you ever read. And, while that may not be strictly true, it's still great to read. So, really, thanks.

lilanimefan247: Glad you like it.