"I think I've just about got the trick of it, milady," Mrs. Hughes said, as she worked to create Lady Edith's desired hairstyle.
"You're a quick study, Mrs. Hughes," Lady Edith told her. "It took Madge ages to learn how I liked it done, and you've mastered it in just a few days."
The housekeeper nodded slightly to acknowledge the compliment.
"Have you heard lately how things are going at Grantham House, Mrs. Hughes?"
The older woman frowned. "Did Mr. Molesley not give you her ladyship's letter yesterday?"
Lady Edith smiled. "Oh, yes, he did. I just wondered how things were going downstairs. I think this year's activities must have been quite disruptive to your routines. Do you correspond with any of the other staff?"
"Yes, milady," she answered. "Mr. Carson and I always correspond during the Season. He's told me that once Mrs. Levinson's party, the dowager, and Mrs. Crawley left Grantham House, things settled down a bit."
"I should think so!" Lady Edith exclaimed. "A house full of women and only three ladies' maids among us. I'm happy to spare Madge, though I'm sorry to bother you with taking care of me until the rest of the family comes back."
"I've told you, milady, it's no trouble. I like a little variety when I can spare the time and things are a bit quieter than usual at Downton right now, so I can."
"I heard the staff went to Brighton a few days after I left," Lady Edith commented. "Did you enjoy it?"
"Yes, we enjoyed it very much," Mrs. Hughes answered with a smile. "We are all very grateful for her ladyship's generosity."
"It wasn't too taxing to keep the younger staff in order?"
"No, they didn't give us any trouble at all."
"And what about Carson? I can hardly imagine him enjoying a day by the sea."
Mrs. Hughes couldn't help laughing softly. "Oh, but he did, though I think he may have surprised himself. It really was lovely." She kept her hands and her eyes on her work, but her mind went back to that day at the sea and she smiled at the lovely memories she still carried with her all day, every day, as she went about her work.
Lady Edith watched Mrs. Hughes curiously in the mirror. "I can see that you enjoyed it, Mrs. Hughes," she noted, after observing the housekeeper's expression for a few moments in silence.
"Certainly, I did," Mrs. Hughes replied, coming back to the present as she put the finishing touches on the hairstyle. "I'll remember it fondly for a long time to come."
"I'm so glad," Lady Edith said sincerely.
"Will there be anything else, milady?"
"No, thank you, Mrs. Hughes."
The housekeeper gave a smile and a nod and left Lady Edith.
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Mrs. Hughes was not surprised to find a letter from Mr. Carson in the stack that was delivered that afternoon. Their correspondence this Season was turning out to be a new adventure for her. She felt emboldened by the distance, and wrote things she could not imagine saying to him in person, but she wasn't entirely comfortable with her own behavior. She was not ashamed of anything she wrote, but she was beginning to take risks that could result in heartbreak. Over years of loving him, Mrs. Hughes had never forced his hand, for fear that he would say 'no' or, worse yet, that he would answer 'never.' In her letters she still had not asked anything of Mr. Carson, but she was afraid that if he continued to write letters as sweet as his last two, she might be tempted into pushing him too far or seeking too much. She had already taken a chance in her last, questioning him about loneliness, and she hoped that she was not a fool to believe him when he promised he would never write another unkind letter again. She felt fairly certain that he would keep this promise, but although their friendship was changing, she feared that if she tried to change it too much or too quickly, their special bond might be lost.
Mrs. Hughes had answered the door when the letters came, and she decided to deliver them herself. She would give the upstairs letters to Mr. Molesley, of course, but she took the rest to the servants' hall and then to the kitchen, handing them out one at a time. She had slipped Mr. Carson's letter into her pocket immediately, of course, but she found she couldn't think of anything else. After luncheon, she decided to indulge herself, and she locked herself in her sitting room once the staff had dispersed to their various chores. Her letter opener, always handy, was put to use and the missive opened and devoured before she even sat down.
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Mrs. Hughes could have written her reply to Mr. Carson that afternoon, but she waited until everyone had gone to bed. She was a little overwhelmed by reading his letter, and needed to think for a while before she could answer it. He had responded to her question about loneliness far more openly and specifically than she had anticipated, actually admitting to feeling lonely only when he was away from Downton. Mrs. Hughes didn't want to read too much into it, but she wondered if he was trying to tell her something. She didn't think it was a declaration of love, but he was admitting the importance of his downstairs family, which included her. She knew without a doubt that he considered her a good friend, but she could never imagine him saying even that much to her. Maybe this was his way of telling her. Mrs. Hughes often went to bed as soon as she had gotten the others upstairs to their rooms, but tonight she stayed in her sitting room once it was quiet downstairs. She sat at her desk with her pen and paper and Mr. Carson's last letter. She wanted to write a reply worthy of his confidence in her.
Dear Mr. Carson,
If I am going to feel lonely, it is always during the Season, and for the same reasons you stated. Half of our family is in London and I miss the ones who've gone. I am thankful at least that I am lonely while at home, rather than away from home. Even so, there are times when I feel that I am missing half of myself, and that is when I experience the worst loneliness. It usually comes in short bursts, but I do occasionally go a whole day feeling as though I were missing a limb, or as though I were ill with some disorder that causes me no actual harm, but makes me feel dreadfully weary. Perhaps it is good that I have these moments. They remind me how much I have to be grateful for during the rest of the year.
You say that missing your family makes you hesitant to consider retirement, but perhaps you shouldn't fear that it will separate you from your family. You will miss those who go to London for the Season, but many of us stay in Yorkshire all year. And you would at least be at home while you were missing those who do not. In addition, your time would be all your own; you could invite your friends to visit you for tea on their half days, and I am sure you will always be welcome to visit Downton at any time. You may even see more of them than you do now, since you will be able to speak for more than a few minutes as you rush from one task to another. And do not forget that if I retire anytime soon, you may visit me anytime you like, and I hope you will receive me as well, for I will certainly not be leaving Downton when I do retire.
I've meant to ask how Mrs. Patmore and Mrs. Bute get on. Do they squabble constantly, as Mrs. Patmore and I used to do, over the store cupboard key? Do they fight for dominance or do they work together? I have no particular reason for asking, except that I am curious, and I know that if I wrote Mrs. Patmore to ask the same question, I might not receive a completely accurate response. She doesn't care much for writing letters either, so for all purposes you are the best person to ask.
Lady Edith and Mr. Branson continue well, receiving periodic visits from the Dowager Countess and Mrs. Crawley. You may not approve, but I will tell you anyway that I find it quite amusing when those two ladies are visiting at the same time. They are always polite to one another, but they trade wicked barbs from time to time that are quite entertaining. Mrs. Crawley is not always a match for her ladyship, but when she is sharp, which she often is, she holds her own quite impressively. And no matter which of them prevails, it is always well-fought and I admire them both for their wit and determination. If there is a need for it, you may certainly assure the Crawleys that both of these ladies are in excellent health and enjoying their rivalry very much.
I'm glad I could help with the wine order. Please do let me know if there is anything else you need. The maids have done the hardest of the work now, and I admit I often have to search the back of my mind to find things for them to do. Your own room has very likely been swept and dusted seven or eight times by now, along with your pantry, although you may be assured that I always supervise the cleaning of that room.
My best wishes to you and our "family."
Sincerely,
E. Hughes
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Mr. Carson sat alone in his office late one night, sipping a cup of tea and rereading Mrs. Hughes's latest letter. He had received it earlier in the day, but had only had the time to read it once, and very hurriedly. He almost wished he hadn't, for he was troubled for the rest of the day by thoughts of her sorrow. The letter was not all melancholy, but the wistful bit was what stayed with him all day. Mr. Carson was glad, now that he had the leisure to read it again, that she seemed in good spirits as she wrote, and that her mention of her infrequent bouts of desolation made up only a small part of the letter. Still, her description of feeling as though she were only half there or missing a limb tore at his heart. He'd never thought of whether Mrs. Hughes might be lonely, during the Season or otherwise. Lord Grantham had been particularly talkative this evening over his last drink of the day and had kept Mr. Carson up particularly late, but he knew that if he didn't write immediately, he would lie awake thinking of his reply, and of her. He took up his pen and tried to think of how best to comfort Mrs. Hughes from a distance, with only his words on a page. He wasn't confident in his own abilities, but he would do the best he could. He knew that a bit of humor would make her smile for a moment, but that if she were really lonely, it would take more than a joke or a bit of teasing to truly make her feel better for any length of time.
Mr. Carson was also going to have to engage with her on the subject of retirement. They had not discussed it much before, and rarely seriously, but this time he had brought it up, and Mrs. Hughes had responded. He didn't like to think about retirement, but he had at least come to terms with the idea of not working right up until he died. One day, he would no longer be able to maintain his own rigorous standards, and then he would step aside for some younger man who could do the job as it should be done. Still, accepting that he would eventually have to retire was not the same thing as being happy about it, but she had given him something to think about. There was a great deal to be thought and written, but it must be done now, or he would not sleep at all. Sitting at his desk until two o'clock in the morning, crafting his reply, would make tomorrow morning a bit difficult, but it was better than getting no rest at all. The comfort of knowing that he had posted a letter to Mrs. Hughes as early in the day as possible would make up for any sleep he lost, and he would certainly rest easier the next night.
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Dear Mrs. Hughes,
I am dismayed to hear how much your loneliness grieves you, even if not for long. I did not know that you suffered so in our absence and it pains me to hear of it. I doubt there is anything I could say or do to help, but you should know at least that everyone speaks of you at Grantham House, from the hired kitchen help who have never met you all the way up to Lord Grantham. Mrs. Bute told me at the end of her first Season with us that you were present in London, even though you were in Yorkshire. I would not have thought before of saying it that way, but she was precisely right. I believe what makes Mrs. Bute effective in her post is that she does not try to replace you, although she still performs the same functions within the household, nor does she attempt to compete with the essence of you that is always present. Some of the more devious members of our staff would use such a silent rivalry to their advantage, but Mrs. Bute retains the respect of all by refusing to participate in such pettiness. And in answer to your question, she and Mrs. Patmore get on well. She allows Mrs. Patmore every benefit of seniority that does not infringe on her own ability to carry out her duties and command her staff, an act which makes life more comfortable for every member of the household. As it is, Mrs. Bute is efficient at doing her job, precisely because she does not try to replace or compete with you. If she did, she would fail miserably. I have told you that she shows promise, but there is no one like you, Mrs. Hughes, and Mrs. Bute is wise enough to know it.
Your last letter has made me think about retirement a little differently as regards family and loneliness. I am still uneasy at the thought of leaving my work, but no doubt it will become necessary at some time in the future, and the points you have made should help reconcile me to the idea when the time comes. And if you do intend to stay at Downton whenever the day comes for you to retire, that will make things a bit easier for me as well. We can meet to drink tea or sherry together every evening, if we wish, although our conversations will certainly be different. Instead of discussing Mr. Barrow's most recent shenanigans, we will talk about the price of beef.
Your account of the dowager countess and Mrs. Crawley has made me smile. I will make no comment on your amusement at their contests, but I am very glad to hear that both ladies are in good health and that your skill in eavesdropping has not diminished.
I will let you know if there is anything we need from Downton, or if I think of anything obscure that may need cleaning, although I suspect you have probably thought of everything at this point. I am glad to know that my rooms are being kept spotless by your small army of housemaids. I am sure there is not a particle of dust anywhere in the house.
I'd like to say again how sorry I am that you have such keen moments of loneliness during the Season. If there is anything I can do to help, please ask, and feel free to leave things in the hands of Mr. Molesley and your housemaids for a few hours if you feel that an extra afternoon off would make you more comfortable.
Sincerely,
C. Carson
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Mrs. Hughes was glad that she had chosen to read this particular letter when she was alone in her room just before going to sleep; it brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to dismiss Mr. Carson's words about her presence at Grantham House every year as whimsical and silly, and she probably would when she wrote next, but if she were honest, reading them meant a great deal to her. Regardless of the truth of any of it, of Mrs. Bute's actual words, or of his thoughts on the subject, he was trying to cheer her. This was the sort of kindness that Mrs. Hughes knew was part of the man she loved, but that still surprised her sometimes when it appeared unexpectedly. She felt a rush of affection for him, which for once did not make her feel more lonely in his absence. She could imagine and almost feel him there - not as a physical presence in her room, but as a mind and heart wishing to soothe and console a friend in distress. There was no way she could respond right now; her heart was overflowing and it was unlikely she could compose a coherent reply. Tomorrow she would still remember how she felt after reading his letter, but she would have had a good night's sleep to calm her. She needed to be sharp to write something that would express her gratitude without saying more than she thought she ought.
To be continued...
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