Chapter 43

Sunday, July 5, 1987 - Evening

With her hand behind her back, Julie pushed the front door closed. She felt fatigued. Less than a moment ago, she'd waved bye-bye to CJ as Maggie carried him to the car. Now, she stood face to face with the man responsible for CJ's visit. She smiled at Donovan.

"You-"

He winked at her. "Haven't seen you this happy in a long time."

"I've missed that little guy," she admitted, straightening the pillows on the couch. "That was fun."

"You don't have to clean up," Donovan said. "You look tired."

"Thanks." She sat on the couch.

Donovan started for the kitchen.

"Oh, no," Julie said. "You're not off the hook."

He looked at her. "Are you hungry?"

"Is that all you think about is food? I believe we were discussing something else, earlier."

He hesitated in the kitchen doorway, and grinned at her.

"I thought I told you everything."

"Did you?"

He didn't answer.

This is getting tedious, Julie thought.

"What happened after you carried me inside?" she asked.

"I carried you to the couch."

He hadn't budged from the doorway.

He must be afraid to get close to me, Julie thought.

"And then nothing else happened?" she questioned.

"I wouldn't call it nothing."

She flashed him a lopsided grin. "Is that the part where my lips got a little busy?... Because you didn't mention anything between the car and the front door."

His cheeks flushed. "Yeah."

I kissed you, she realized then asked, "Did you enjoy it?"

"We didn't have sex," he snapped.

Whether he was being defensive, or just trying to reassure her, she wasn't certain.

"Why not?"

"Because…I'm a nice guy."

"Did I want to?"

Smiling, he walked into the kitchen.

Julie sprang up from the couch, followed Donovan into the kitchen then watched him pull a broiler pan from a cabinet. He had two small steaks in a bowl of marinade on the counter.

"How come you didn't answer my question?" Julie asked.

He didn't turn around from placing the meat on the broiler pan. "I'm a nice guy," he said again.

"That's an understatement," she agreed then stood right behind him.

He turned around to put the pan in the oven.

Julie folded her arms across her chest and scowled at him.

"What?" Donovan asked.

"Did you kiss me back?"

"Want me to show you?" Taking a step toward her, he bent down and puckered his lips.

He's not serious… She drew back from him.

"Didn't think so." He gently brushed her aside then opened the broiler door, squatted down and shoved the pan in.

"Did you want to sleep with me?"

"This is getting personal."

"Well apparently we made out for… how long?"

"I don't know! I wasn't watching the time."

Does that mean a minute, a few, or a while? More importantly, she wondered if this meant things had changed between them. Were they becoming more than just friends again? Do you still love me, Mike? She wanted to ask him. What if he just didn't want her and she'd made a fool of herself?

"Look," she said gently. "I know I had a lot to drink last night. Apparently, I wasn't myself. And I want to apologize if what I did, what we did, upset—""

"I'm not upset. I was a little confused at first, but since it was the alcohol and not really you—"

"I don't know if it wasn't me, Mike." She felt her eyes mist over. "There've been times these past couple weeks when we've said things to each other that…" she trailed off. She wanted him to hold her, and tell her she wasn't wrong for feeling that way.

"I guess calling you Sweetheart and taking you to one of the places we used to go on dates hasn't helped."

A few tears escaped. "I loved you."

Feeling the warmth of his embrace as he held her, she imagined him picking her up, carrying her into his room and making love to her. She knew she couldn't handle it physically, and that he knew it too, which was why she hadn't woken up in his bed this morning.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I loved you too."

She clung onto him for a few seconds, feeling torn up inside.

"We can make time for each other," she said.

"I wish we could." He drew away from her. "But you have your project and I have Sean to deal with."

"I could help you with-"

He shook his head. "No, you can't."

She watched him pull a couple potatoes from the fridge and wondered how he expected her to sit through a meal with him, pretending as though nothing happened between them.