You shouldn't have left
Chapter 11
Thanks to everyone who stuck through this story, but this is it, I am sorry it sucked, the characters weren't good and the story line was horrible, my writing and grammar and how I approached things were bad, and its just a very overwhelming book, nothing is ever calm, I wish I could finish it but its a lost cause, It would be cool if y'all could give my Harry Potter fanfiction a try because I am really excited for it, I have high hopes for it (I do have some worries though) Here is the link for my profile, the first chapter should be uploaded by the end of the week, again, I really am sorry.
Punkand5SOS
Once my arm is covered in blood and cuts I put the blade back in my purse and swing it over my good arm, I place it on the corner of the sink and bring my bloody wrist under the sink; I turn it on and I quietly scream, it burns for a few seconds but then its numb, I rummage through the cabinet and pull out gauze and a wrap, I swathe the cuts with the gauze and wrap and I turn off the light and walk out the door.
I turn on the TV and lye on the couch; cradling my hurt arm on my stomach, I grab my phone and look at the time, 2:57 I mumble and flip through my contacts until I come across Luke; Luke… I say and press the call button, it rings a couple time and goes to voicemail
"Hey this is Luke, I can't get to the phone right now but you can leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible, Thanks" The phone beeps and I start to talk
"Hey Luke…This is Kim…If you could call me back that would be great…I just really need someone to talk to and…" I feel tears coming and go to hang up but he answers the phone
(A/N: Bold is Luke and regular is Kim)
"Kim?"
"Luke…" I say through tears
"Kim what's wrong?"
"Can you come over? I really need someone to talk to"
"Of course! I'll be on my way"
"Thanks"
I hung up the phone and let it drop on my lap; my face fell into my hands and I started crying again, I pulled my knees up to my chest and held them tightly, I curled into the corner of the couch and cried for a good ten minutes, why was I talking with Luke again? I had dated him in high school and he had been nothing but trouble, he cheated on me and left Jack to help me, he did and I moved on, until I got pregnant with Sadie then I ran back to Luke, he helped me but I soon realized I still loved Jack and I broke up with Luke, I was scared that he would cheat on me again, but he didn't; maybe he would, but I never even gave him the chance to do it, I wanted to know, give him that chance back, but Jack…I still loved him….I know I did….and I felt guilty for doing this to him, but I shouldn't, he had been flirting with the waitress, he had left me
"I shouldn't feel like this!"
I screamed and lifted my head
I jumped up from the couch and ran into the bathroom; I ripped my blade out of my purse and brought it to my wrist, I pushed it against my skin; I was going to cut vertically, I could end it, I pushed it harder and blood started to trickle, I thought about Sadie, she would come home; maybe she would find my body; maybe I would cover it up just in case, or maybe Jack would find me; maybe he would end I too, or maybe he wouldn't care and would bury my body in the backyard; because he would be with the waitress, I slipped out a tear and I started to jerk back my arm but I heard a knock at the door that startled the blade out of my hand, it hit the tile and it made a loud clang, I picked it back up and shoved it in my pocket; I pulled out a band aid and pressed it against my arm; which was bleeding lightly, I pushed down my sleeves and walked out of the bathroom and peeked out the door, Luke stood at the door; he stared at the ceiling and he was whistling, I groaned and wiped a tear from my cheek, I didn't want to let him in, but I did anyway; I pulled myself together as much as I could and opened the door, he looked pretty shocked and I tried to smile; he pulled me into a hug and I laughed
"What's wrong? What happened? Where's Sadie?"
"I just kind of broke down, Sadie is…she's out with friends" I lied and bit my lip, Luke gave me a weird look; like he knew I was lying but decided to let me get away with it
"Let's go talk about it" He grabbed my hand and led me to the couch; I sat down and he walked into the kitchen
"Want me to make you some tea?"
"Sure"
I began to feel overwhelmed; I knew he was trying to help but I always liked being in control; especially because this was my house and I liked to be in charge here, he didn't know how I liked my tea; he didn't know how I liked to make it; he didn't know my life, I just curled into the couch and watched him make tea, he poured me and him a cup; he gave me three sugars and I wanted to punch him in his face, I liked five sugars; that's it, he sat down next to me and put the tea on the coffee table
"So; what exactly happened? Sadie's not really at a friend's house; is she?"
"No…she's not, Jack came back"
"Kim…and you let him in? Do you remember what he did to you? Because I do"
"I know but…he's changed"
"No he hasn't! He's still the same selfish jerk as he is when he left! Don't be fooled"
"But he has! He's different this time, I know he is"
"Kim he hasn't; he's just going to give you more heart break, I don't want to see him do this to you again"
"Well it doesn't matter now, Sadie knows that he's her dad, I won't do that to her"
"You may have to, it's best for you"
"Well as a mother you have to do what's best for your kid"
"Kim please, don't hurt yourself like this again"
"I have to!" I yelled and stood up, he stood up in front of me and tried to hug me; but I pushed him away
"I have to do what's best for Sadie, plus you haven't met him, he has changed this time"
"If he's changed then why are you crying?"
"I…he…maybe he hasn't changed…" I dropped onto the couch and he hugged me
"I'm sorry" He said and pulled me tightly