Emma sat in the chair in her room mentally searching for what she needed to do. There was no way she could continue on the way she was going. So there she sat impatiently waiting for Loki to come to her room. Just when she thought her nerves would unravel her there was a soft knock upon the door. Loki walked in so saddened and lost. She wanted to run over to him and hug him but she reigned herself in. "I'm so nervous. Like going on a blind date." He looked at her with such regret. "Emma.." before he could finish she put her hand up. "You hurt me beyond anything sorry can fix. I have taken dirty looks and crude words from everyone. I have been questioned and bullied about what really goes on between us. I have sat and watched as you leave me in the mornings to return to her...the woman you are going to marry...a woman you don't even love." "Emma what am I to say? You just said sorry isn't enough. I have had no intentions of hurting you. I...You mean a great deal to me. I was angry that you want to leave me." Emma stepped into the light and Loki's face grew grave as he saw the cut on her lip...the cut he caused. "Loki you had every intention of hurting me when you hit me last night. I was...am furious with you but I have a thing called self-control." He saddened when she stepped back as he stepped closer. "Does it hurt?" Emma wanted to scream at him. Of course it hurt, along with her heart. "Yes it stings but I'll be okay." Loki was screaming at himself internally. How did he allow this to happen? Why had he been such an ass? "Emma I'm sorry...truly hurt that I hurt you." Emma didn't have the patience to continue this conversation. She was beginning to get mad. "Loki enough of the bullshit. If you really cared about me then you would be fighting to be with me. Fighting against being forced to marry Eowyn. You continue with this whole farce even though you tell me at night you cannot stand her." She could see the anger growing inside him. "No I don't care for her. No I don't love her. But it is what my parents wish. I am Asgardian royalty, in line for the throne. I have to do as they see fit for the kingdom. That means marrying that sorry excuse for a woman." Emma was so angry she began to yell. "Well I'm done being your mortal play toy. I am not your whore. I will not sit by and waste my life waiting for you every night. You are not worth the lonely days or the tears." Loki stepped closer with fire in his eyes. "You are not worth me. I am royalty and for me to have bedded you is an honor. As far as caring for you, it was mere lust, curiosity at the thought of sleeping with a mortal." Emma slapped him, "get the hell out of my room and don't come near me again. I hate you." Loki gave her an evil grin and left.
Emma collapsed where she stood and cried. She did not hate him, not even close. But she meant what she said. She could not be his whore, his mistress of the night. Emma loved Loki so deeply but she deserved the same kind of love. That was something she wasn't sure Loki could give her, or was willing to give her. He was too wrapped up in tradition and pleasing his family. Even if that meant he lived unhappily with Eowyn. Even if that meant he and Emma could be nothing more than lovers. She loved him but she wouldn't accept anything less than his whole heart. That was what she deserved. All she could do was climb in her bed and cling to the pillow that smelled just like him. She balled and whispered his name. Finally her eyes and heart could not bare the pain anymore and she slept.
Loki sat in his chair fighting back the pain. He could not understand why he had been so cruel. His anger and jealousy had overtaken him. Her words stung him deeper than any wound. I hate you she had spitted at him. Through all the hurt he sincerely wished those words were a lie. If she hated him then he had no hope left in life. He wanted nothing more than to punish himself for hurting her, emotionally and physically. He had no one to turn to, to confide in. The one person he told his secrets to now despised him. Loki felt his emotions over taking him and he let them. He screamed and there's everything he could get his hands on. He punched his mirror and cut his hand open. Finally his pain overwhelmed and he collapsed onto the floor made wept. For the first time in his life he lost himself in tears.