CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The moor was just as desolate and black as the rest of the Dark Realm. A chilly breeze swept through the air, ruffling my fur and making me shiver uncomfortably. The others looked ill at ease and unhappy. It seemed our trials would never end, that we would be trapped in the Dark Realm forever... I sighed, feeling melancholy.
"How do suppose we're going to get out of here, when our task is done?" I wondered aloud.
There was an uneasy silence.
"The Originals and Rock won't forget us," Dove's Wing said. "They'll bring us back." She didn't sound too sure, though.
"They were able to bring us here, after all," Wolf added. "They'll bring us back." Her words echoed Dove's Wing's, and her voice was firmer. Reassured, I continued to walk in silence.
I was disturbed by what had happened back in Malady's forest. I had succumbed to the spirit's will so easily. It made me feel weak and helpless. I was supposed to be a leader—strong and firm, not weak.
As soon as I thought that, I felt a little silly. It was okay to need help every once and a while. No one's perfect. Still... I frowned. This experience was even less fun than the other two crazy events I'd participated in.
I pondered on how much I'd changed since I was twelve. I was excited at the idea of being a cat, and a warrior cat no less. Excited at the changes, happy to participate. Even when things got serious and I matured, I still was a kid at heart—I was only twelve as a human, after all. I still felt like a kid.
Then I had to go back. I enjoyed being a human again, for a while, but everything was different. I didn't have my mate with me for years and years, getting along with those who had gone over to the Dark Forest or were simply in other Clans was extremely hard (especially when fighting was a much bigger deal). And I was unhappy, especially when high school came and I split off from a lot of my friends.
Then I went back in time, again as a cat. At first, I was happier than I had been in a while, with my mate back with me and another adventure going on, but then things started to go downhill. As soon as I met Silver, all the enjoyment was gone out of being a cat. I had my mate, I'd had my fun and adventures, now I just wanted to go home and be a normal girl. Well, not too normal, but a happy girl.
When I got that (and it took far too long for my comfort), I was happy. I thought I was done with adventures, especially when Ryan and I were married. But no—we were needed again. I hoped we didn't have to stay until we died again. When this was over, I wanted to go home. And stay home.
This adventure wasn't bringing me any joy at all. I was done with adventures.
Unfortunately, I still had to confront either Despair or Death, and I was feeling pretty desperate. I didn't think I could handle either of them, especially not Despair.
I shivered as a thought struck me. This unhappiness wasn't just my own. It was Despair's aura leeching out my happiness and making me feel bad. The spirit was pulling out my bad thoughts and dissatisfactions and pushing them to the forefront of my mind.
Behind me, I heard a growl. I turned my head to see that Jay's Wing had stopped.
"Guys," he said quietly. We all stopped and turned to face him.
"This is getting us nowhere," he said unhappily. "I'm tired, and I'm kind of in a bad mood, and I really don't feel like walking any further. Let's rest."
Dove's Wing, Lion's Roar, and I murmured our assent and we began to sit down. Wolf, however, stayed standing, a frown on her face.
"What's wrong with you guys?" she asked, sounding more worried than anything else.
"I feel like this is never going to end," Dove's Wing murmured. "I mean... I did my bit, and part of me just wants to go home. But I can't, and I wouldn't, not really, because you guys still need me. I think."
"Well, of course it's going to end," Wolf said in surprise, sitting down beside us. "Sure, things look a little bleak right now, but we're almost done. Three out of five spirits have been persuaded! Come on, guys. Have some hope!"
There was a disgusted snort from behind us. We sprang to our feet, fur bristling.
"Hope? Ugh," a hissing voice said. "I hate hope."
In front of us was a black cat wreathed in shadows. Two blank white eyes glared at us menacingly. What I could make out of its figure showed it to be slim and thick-furred, with long, glinting claws. Just looking at it filled me with hopelessness and angst. I knew that this must be Despair.
"I'm Despair," it introduced itself. It grinned at us, looking extremely evil. I shuddered and turned my head. Why can't this just be over? I asked myself. This is hopeless. If there's one spirit who can't be persuaded, it's Despair. There's no way. This was pointless. We'll go back to the mountains and live there for the rest of our lives... and the cats will be doomed.
Despair laughed, a hollow, chilling sound. The others cringed and turned away as well. Was I really going along this easily with its powers? Was I really that weak? But to tell the truth, what Despair was telling me—in a roundabout way—was just what I thought deep down. It was hard to see the good in the world, the way things could turn out, when I doubted myself and felt so terrible even without the spirit's help.
"Oh, come on," an exasperated voice said. Wolf pushed her way to the front of our group and faced Despair's shadowy form.
I turned back slightly to watch her, my attitude miserable. She would fail, of course. Even though I knew it was just Despair's aura influencing my thoughts, I still thought I knew for certain that she would fail. I couldn't think of a way she wouldn't. She would mess up, Despair would get angry, it would kill us all at worst or send us back at best.
"What do you mean?" Despair asked my friend sharply.
Wolf rolled her yellow eyes. "You don't have any real powers. You can only make us feel desperate and hopeless. You can't send us back, or kill us, or anything."
Despair hissed, thrashing its tail in agitation. I blinked, as if coming out of a daze. I suddenly felt a little bit hopeful. Wolf had distracted the spirit and it was now focusing all its attention on her.
"That won't work," she told him. "I see right through you. You're the weakest of the spirits, aren't you? Slaughter can kill and hurt anyone. Hunger can starve you as well as drive you crazy with longing. Malady kills you slowly and painfully. Death is strongest, it can kill without even trying. But you—all you can do is make us feel bad." She shook her head. "Well, you're intelligent, I'll give you that. More intelligent than the others, at least."
"Stop it!" Despair hissed, glaring hatefully at her. "I am not the weakest! Hunger is! Hunger's such a wimp, it doesn't even put up a fight! But I won't! I won't let you!"
My hopes sank again. The whole point of this was to convince Despair to accept our message. But it seemed bent against us.
"You're the smartest, but the others are more powerful," Wolf said, shrugging. "Anyway, why do you even care?"
"An afterlife gives beings a sense of hope, a sense of happiness," the spirit snarled. "Why would I let that happen?"
"But it's happened before," Wolf pointed out. "We're not the first to ask you. In fact, we're one of the last. And there are other afterlifes. There's a challenge, isn't there? You think you're so powerful."
"I am powerful!" Despair howled.
"Well, then, I challenge you to a battle. You have to stay in cat form, but otherwise, do whatever you want," Wolf growled. She crouched down, narrowing her eyes to slits. "If you win, send us back, do whatever you want with us. But if I win, you agree to let the cats form afterlifes."
"I accept," the shadowy spirit hissed, crouching down as well.
Wolf was the first to spring. I gasped in shock, and to my surprise, I found excitement and hope bubbling up in me again. Despair was so distracted, it had obviously forgot about making us feel bad.
They tussled for a little while, then, in what seemed like no time at all, Wolf had Despair pinned down on his back. I blinked. Was it really that bad a fighter? No wonder it had been beaten so easily before!
It pummeled Wolf for a little while, then gave up. "Fine," it panted. "You win! You win! Let me go!" It got up and dusted itself off while Wolf backed away. Then it cleared its throat and said, "I, Despair, spirit of unhappiness, give permission for Star and Moon, Originals of the Cats, to organize their spirits."
A wave of blackness spread throughout the moor. I shivered. It was cold and windy. I wanted to go back to the comfort of the forest. Well, not really comfort. It was creepy in there.
"Now go away," Despair hissed, turning around.
"Wait!" Wolf called. "Where will we find Death?"
Death. Suddenly I realized what this meant: Wolf had confronted Despair, which meant that I would have to confront... Death itself.
"I don't know, it wanders around," Despair hissed. "You'll find it eventually, though. Go away!"
"Fine," Wolf said. She turned and led us back to forest.