Teenagers

Phineas was using every ounce of his will not to release the moan creeping up his throat. But the things his girlfriend's tongue could do were making that increasingly difficult with every passing second. And with his mother downstairs doing the dishes, any noise was not a risk he wanted to take.

It was becoming a game to Isabella though. Smirking between kisses as the sixteen year old boy fidgeted and tensed beneath her. He was like a child expecting to get caught sneaking cookies before dinner, but really… really wanting those cookies.

"Ah-h," Phineas' lips finally broke contact with hers as his hand gently grasped her wrist, stopping her from slipping her roaming finger tips under his t-shirt. "Izzie… c'mon, not here."

Isabella looked none too contrite about her move, simply shrugging as she sat back, straddled across his lap as he lay beneath her on the S.S. Phineas. "The door's closed," she hummed sweetly, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. She was used to the prudent tendencies of her beau. And for the first year and a half of their relationship, she was very respectful of Phineas' wishes to take things slow.

But Isabella Garcia-Shapiro had waited long enough to have Phineas Flynn in compromising positions.

And Phineas had eventually picked up on that, thankfully much sooner than he had concerning her crush on him. It wasn't like he hadn't wanted to partake in certain… activities. But Phineas was a gentleman and a scholar first and gentlemen and scholars court their women. They do not resort to back seats and under bleachers. Just because they were teenagers didn't mean they had to act like them. He had instead used a revamp of the Flying Car of the Future Today to take them to Paris for the weekend… and make up for the last time they were in Paris.

Isabella had, of course, loved it. And their first time had been everything she wanted it to be. No matter how much her awkward, intimidated boyfriend shivered like her pet Chihuahua.

But even with that night being months ago, Phineas was still getting used to this aspect of romance. Roses, candle lit dinners, personally written songs and poems? Those were second nature to him. But he was lost and confused under the bed sheets.

Luckily… Isabella was more than happy to take the reins.

"Yeah b-but…" Phineas' lids lowered, watching his girlfriend run her fingers through the ebony strands that cascaded down her back, a move that always made his heart thunder.

"We'll be quick," her nose wrinkled and she smirked. Once she got him started she knew he'd throw caution to the wind. Her hand cupped the bulge against his jeans, expertly making the teen boy tremble. "I prooooomise…" she cooed.

Phineas bit his lower lip and whimpered, his eyes moving from his bedroom door to the Jewish Latina beauty that currently topped him. And like always recently… hormones were beating morals by a landslide. "It's locked, right?" he whined, reaching for her.

Isabella knew she'd already won, gingerly working the button and zipper of his pants. "Uh huh," she grinned, returning for a deep kiss as she felt his hands move back to her waist.

He should know better by now. If he looked into them deep enough, those beautiful almond eyes of hers could convince him he could fly.

He allowed his thumbs to graze the skin peeking out from her blouse as their movement shifted the fabric up higher. It was all the invitation the young man needed to slide the rest of his hand up towards two of his favorite distractions.

It wasn't the bedroom door that Phineas should have been worried about being locked.

Agent Perry the Platypus was hanging up his fedora for the day. A long battle and an inbox full of paperwork had made sure he was good and tired. He wanted a warm bowl of shrimp and tuna and to curl up on the warm fleece blanket kept at the foot of his owner's bed.

His webbed feet padded softly up the set of stairs that lead from his lair to one of his secret entrances. Automatic sensors slid open the small door when he reached the top, revealing the cool blues of his boys' bedroom from under Ferb's computer desk.

Perry froze once his webbed foot stepped down onto the carpet, a periwinkle purple brassiere having landed on the very tip of his bill. The agent knew for a fact that this particular article of clothing belonged to neither of the regular occupants of this room.

Brown eyes shrunk and turquoise fur stood on end at the soft muffled sounds coming from the bed not more than a few feet away.

Curse the powers that be for not forever keeping his owners as blissfully unaware children who lived in a strict world of cooties. And curse their parents for being so trustworthy that closed doors were not a trigger warning of something more sinister than 'studying'.

Ever so slowly… the platypus plucked the garment from his beak, letting it drop to the floor as he backed up towards his secret entrance. Terror ripped through the animal when his paw touched the closed door that should have opened when it sensed his presence. A door that had, on a few occasions, a tendency to jam shut.

No…no no no, not now. Not at this moment. Why him? Why, for the love of all that was good in his double life, did this have to happen?!

Perry pressed his back desperately against the door, gritting his teeth with a scarred expression as the sight of Phineas' bare back was burned into his brain for all of eternity. He tore his eyes away as the thoroughly distracted teen dipped back down out of his view. One glance at the bedroom door told him it was locked. He was trapped. Trapped with the sounds of hormone driven young adults and a horror movie of flailing limbs just above him on top of one of his favorite places to nap.

What happened to the angelic pair of boys that used their powers for good?! That sat beneath an elm tree and contemplated what they would do that day?! When had his perfect boys turned into the monsters before him?!

In any other circumstance, Perry would have considered these thoughts harsh and over dramatic. But… but that was HIS bed too!

The monotreme thought he might soon be sick. That the sounds he was hearing were making his stomach turn enough that he might-

Perry fell back suddenly as the secret entrance slid open again, the sensors righting themselves and detecting the body in front of it. The platypus lay on his back, safely shut inside his lair… but with full understanding of what was going on behind the door.

It took him a few long moments to shakily get to his feet and unblinkingly walk back down the stairs to find a different entrance into the Flynn-Fletcher household. He resembled more of a zombie than a platypus as he stepped through the grating of a ventilation shaft that led into the hallway.

Having lost his appetite completely, Perry used his beak to bury under the blanket of his little basket bed in the living room. He turned around twice before settling down to just stare off at nothing, even more blankly than he normally did in pet mode, mourning the loss of his sacred space. Nothing was sacred anymore.

Not more than fifteen minutes later Linda called up the stairs, asking her son if his girlfriend was staying for dinner. A few moments passed before the two came thundering down the steps requesting pizza as innocently as they had when they were younger.

But Perry knew better. The days of their adorable innocent kid nature were over, leaving him with the knowledge that they were now horrible, disgusting, mutant beings known as… teenagers. He would forever rue the day.

"Hey boy!" Phineas hopped off the last step, ruffling the top of Perry's head as he passed him, Isabella petting down the fur of his back as well. Perry could do little more than cringe at their touch and scream internally.

He watched the two walk away towards the kitchen, Isabella's hand finding its way to playfully pinch Phineas' rump, making the red head flinch and then blush profusely at her grin. The two disappeared into the kitchen where Linda was none the wiser as she called for takeout.

Now uncomfortably wide awake with a look of horror etched onto his features, Perry decided the next month or two would be spent sleeping at the end of Ferb's bed.