Five & Ten ~ Part 6
June 21, 2014
... Continued
One of the perks of being sans kids is the freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want. Physical exhaustion notwithstanding, he suggests taking another bath together after the divine sex we just had.
Vaughn booked us into a different hotel in Rome this time – a suite with an oversize bathtub that allows us the luxury of long leisurely baths. Babuino 181 boasts upscale and modern rooms inside a historic building. I was delighted to find the inviting marble and mosaic en suite when I set foot in our bedroom upon arrival last night.
He pours me a glass of wine before filling the tub with fragrant suds. I'm relaxing in the warm soothing water with my eyes closed, waiting for him to join me. I hear music play as he steps into the bath.
It's our song.
I walked down the sandy shoreline to the instrumental music of this song five years ago.
…
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
…
Vaughn
I love cradling Sydney.
With her long locks tied up in a loose bun, she rests her head comfortably on my chest, her wet skin pressed against mine.
I bend down slightly to kiss the sweet spot on the back of her neck.
I can feel her faint smile coming on from the sensation.
She slowly takes a sip of the wine, and then completely eases into me.
I hold on to her ever so lightly, for fear of ruining perfection.
What I have in front of me is so perfect, what we have together is so perfect; my breath catches with the sanctity of it all.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.
Those gripping words of the song and the deep emotions in Josh Groban's voice move me to the core every time.
I have her sitting safely in my embrace – and I am good.
More than good.
Breaking the comfortable silence, she pulls me out from my thick thoughts.
"Vaughn, I said on our wedding day I would tell you fifty years down the road, how much I've loved waking up to you every morning…
Well, it's now been five years – I want you to know – waking up to you in the morning, falling asleep next to you at night have been the best parts of my life.
Thank you for such a beautiful anniversary. More importantly, thank you for making me feel special every single day.
I don't know how to tell you how much I love you..."
She turns to let her lips touch mine, lingering tenderly; sending jolts throughout my body in this mist-filled, dreamlike room.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive
You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.
I can't take my eyes off her face.
She is as beautiful today as she was twelve years ago.
And she loves me.
She has spent the last ten years showing me the depth of her love; casting aside any doubts I had when I thought I was undeserving.
And she has been even more amazing since.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.
I can't remember a time when she wasn't everything that I'd ever wanted.
She's like the most powerful drug I can never get enough of.
No matter how long we have been together.
When I met Sydney, I would willingly die for her to save her from misery.
Looking at her today, I know, more than anything, she wants me to live fiercely for her to safeguard our family; to be there for Isabelle and Jack, to watch them grow and learn and play.
I will no longer be cavalier; for every moment is precious.
Despite her bozo hair and swollen jaw when this woman walked into the office, I somehow sensed my life would never be the same.
It might have started out because of my curiosity about the existence of Prophet Five when I asked to take her case, never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined where that would lead.
She captivated me all on her own right from the beginning.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive
When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?
My unquenchable desire for my wife has only been accentuated by the warmth inside our bathroom.
My love for my children is equally strong yet entirely different.
I've never felt this way about anyone and I'm certain I never will with anyone else.
Every day with her is a new experience. And every day I fall deeper in love.
I reach for her hand and kiss the back of it.
"Syd, I said this at our wedding and I've said this to you many times before. But I'm going to say it again." Wrapping both my arms around hers, I nestle my head just below her ear and whisper, "The last five years have been so much more than I could ever ask for. I can't fathom how I would ever love you more than I do right now." I pause to savor this moment, "But I know I will be with you the next five, ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred years – and I will be even more awestruck every time I look at you. I would say to you – Syd, I thought I loved you then."
I trail off getting caught by my own emotions. I place feathery kisses across the back of her shoulders and her neck, hugging her even tighter.
She gasps holding back tears before saying almost inaudibly, "Now you know why I was so worried you'd run yourself ragged? I want those five, ten, twenty, fifty, a hundred years with you. Desperately."
She thought I had lost more weight than I should and I agreed to a comprehensive physical to ease her mind.
She was assured by the results there was nothing wrong despite my borderline below par BMI. Stress and my strict workout routine at work, my desire to not shortchange my kids or my wife, plus the busyness of life, were probably to blame.
But that did not quell her worries.
Weiss found her scrubbing our kitchen sink passionately, even though we are serviced regularly by a fantastic housekeeper.
"Syd's scrubbing the sink, Michael."
"Yeah?"
"And she's asked me if I think you look too thin. Didn't you have your physical?"
"I did – healthy as a horse."
"Well, you wife doesn't seem convinced."
…
"Hey, I don't think our kitchen or our bathroom sinks need any more scrubbing. They look pretty spotless to me, even after our party tonight. Wanna tell me what's bothering you?" I ask the first chance we have alone, as we crawl into bed. Wrapping my arm around her shoulder, I pull her close and kiss the top of her head.
"Guess you've noticed..." She smiles wryly.
"Syd, it's my job as your husband to pick up your tells. But even Eric noticed this time."
"I know it's irrational - maybe even neurotic." She is sounding a little tentative, "It freaks me out how much I love my life. Is it perfect? Not by a long shot. The terror we deal with at work makes me not want to let our kids out of my sight. But then I watch you doing what you do best every day and I'm not afraid any more. No matter how many ops you oversee, you never miss a beat. When people comment how great my husband is, I usually just smile politely and say thank you because I already know that, for years.
Even though I'm proud of how seamless we're in the field, I never fully appreciate you as my partner until I see you spend evenings and weekends reading with Isabelle, taking her to art class, skating lessons and hockey games, building sand castles with her on the beach. You get Jack ready in the morning, play water fights while giving him his bath, and patiently help his big sister feed him baby food at dinner. You do so much, and you do it so happily.
I realize you are what make life better every day. And the more I love my life, the more crippling is my fear that something may happen to you and everything is gonna come crumbling down.
Vaughn, ever since I fell in love with you so many years ago, you're my only plan. I have no plan B…"
She looks up at me begging for understanding, her vulnerability apparent.
I'm barely holding it together as I listen to her every word, invaded by feelings I've not had before. Words cannot describe how good it feels to be intensely wanted by the love of your life. And yet I hate to be the cause of her angsts – the fact that our history gave her reasons to be anxious.
"Will it help to know I'm just as addicted to you?" I try to lighten her mood without making light of her concern. "Listen, Sydney – ultimately, all I care about is your happiness and our children's safety. The reason we keep pushing out our timeline to leave the field is not just because we want to serve our country but also because we want to protect our kids when we know we can do our job well.
Syd, if and when you think I may be jeopardizing our family's well-being in any way, you can tell me to stop and I won't put up a fight.
And I promise I will eat my peas to stay healthy." I smile at her adoringly.
"Kiss on it?" She banters.
"You bet…"
I'm just as lost for words today as I was during our conversation a month ago.
"What I promised you, Sydney – I meant it. You're not getting rid of me any time soon." Putting my finger under her chin, I bring her lips up to mine. We feel only each other's body against the soft ripples of the bath water as I kiss her most sensually to convey my resolve.
.
AN: This is the closest I get to writing a songfic, though I've contemplated one for a long time. I hope you like this part.
This story is now shifting toward Syd and Vaughn as married couple, parents and CIA top operatives. Missing scenes may still happen but you will see me evolving their characters based on my understanding of who and how they are from the cannon.