Chapter 3

After attempting to subtly remove Sakura off of her "Sasu-cakes" for the most part of ten minutes, Itachi was finally able to detach his date from his little brother (who, despite all the smiling, was turning rather blue in the face). Then, after prying the pink menace off, he was faced with another predicament; Sakura's frantic attempts to return to her huggable teddy. Itachi managed to restrain her politely for all of five seconds before losing his patience and snapping in annoyance at the squirming pinkette. All the while, throughout this entire performance, the gathering remained oblivious to the little commotion caused by the Uchihas.

Pouting, Sakura allowed an apathetic Itachi to lead her to the table where she sat quietly with the Uchiha Main Family. Sasuke, once again back to his stoic self, sat regally while Mikoto and Fugaku continued to stare at Sakura with horrified expressions. Uncomfortable with the suffocating silence, Itachi cleared his throat and proceeded to shatter it.

"Sasuke, how are you, little brother?"

That small little sentence was enough to snap the Uchiha's out of their reverie and all heads turned to Itachi.

"Hn," Sasuke replied, taking a sip of champagne he snagged from a nearby waiter.

Itachi remained unperturbed at Sasuke's indefinite answer and took two glasses of red wine from the waiter as well, handing one to Sakura.

Sipping, he got straight to the point, "How do you know my date?"

And poor Sasuke promptly choked on the champagne he was downing.

Once again serene, courtesy of her rapid mood changes, Sakura leaned back in her chair and answered for him, "Sasuke and I went to school together since pre-school. Didn't he tell you? There was a large group of us, who were very smart and skipped classes together. We lost contact a while back."

Sasuke nodded slowly and continued onto his third glass. Itachi's eyes narrowed and bored holes into Sakura, "What are you not telling me?"

"Lots of things. At this point in time, I'm not telling you how much I hate crowds, or that the weatherman predicted rain, or that marshmallows are –"

"Sakura," Itachi warned.

Delicately shrugging, Sakura informed him, "Your brother and his friends were my personal stalkers. Followed me around like lost puppies, they did. Once, I caught a few of them trying to sneak into my dorm room; said it was a dare from Sasuke. I didn't particularly mind. I had a huge crush on your brother and I was sure he would never suck it up and ask me out, so it was fun to mess around with them."

"And?"

"He did suck it up. He's quite the charmer when he wants to be. We went out a few weeks before Graduation and realized a long distance relationship would never work and broke it off."

You dated my brother?" Itachi asked dubiously.

And the Uchiha Clan heads had had enough. Getting up and supporting his shocked wife, Fugaku formally informed them that they would be off, and then he and Mikoto hastily made their exit, vanishing into the sea of people. Sasuke watched them leave without remorse. His parents didn't need to know of his misadventures at school. Setting down his glass, he murmured an excuse to his brother and his date and vanished after his parents.

Before Itachi could say another word, Sakura got up, grabbed his hand and proceeded to drag him out of his seat. "Come on, get up. Let's go meet people and stuff. Don't you have friends? I wanna meet them. Besides, you told me I had to meet people. Let's gooo," Sakura whined, tugging on Itachi's hand.

'I swear to god, it's like this woman has multiple personalities," Itachi thought as he barely resisted the urge to rub his temples.

Reluctantly rising, he led Sakura around the room to a large group of people chatting on the balcony. Before he could get a word out, a loud boisterous voice interrupted him, "Itachi, finally turned up, yeah?" A blond male had walked up to them and clapped Itachi on the back. The rest of them looked up and she promptly looked down, before even catching a glimpse of them.

Speaking lowly, most of them dismissed their dates to have time to take in the newcomer. Only one woman was left from the original group along with a few other men.

"This is Yahiko, or as we refer to him, Pein, and his wife Konan," Itachi nodded to a passive man with spikey orange hair and a beautiful woman with blue hair.

Sakura smiled with her gaze still averted and bowed slightly to them. Opening his mouth to introduce the rest, Itachi was beat to the punch by the blond male.

Slinging an arm about Sakura's shoulders, he maneuvered her to the center of the little group. "I'm Deidara, yeah."

Before she could respond, she was grabbed by the waist and pulled back into a lean muscular chest and a husky voice whispered into her ear, "I'm Sasori. You have gorgeous hair, doll."

Her vision was obstructed by crimson red hair and she had the oddest feeling that the stranger was smelling her hair!

Itachi's mouth opened to protest but another raucous voice interrupted him, "Hey hag. Name's Hidan. You're hot," another hand brutally grabbed her arm and she was yanked into another solid male body. Her head bumped on what felt like a chin and she let out a small "oomph" of discomfort.

He current captor suddenly jerked forward as if hit and the hands loosed about her. "Let go, she's Itachi's girl," scolded a gruff voice. She took the opportunity to wriggle free but alas, her efforts were in vain as she was swooped into the arms of yet another. "Hey baby. What're you doing with the unexperienced youngster? Come with me and I'll show you a real good time," purred a voice.

After being ignored for too long, Itachi snapped, "Let her go! She's mine and I despise you flirting with what belongs to me."

Sakura huffed and slammed her elbow into the (probably old and freaky) creep's solar plexus and rounded on Itachi. Poking a finger into his chest, she raised her voice at the rather taken aback Uchiha, "I am not a toy, you jerk. And, I don't belong to anyone either."

She turned and glared at the rest of them and almost choked on her spit and the sight that greeted her. Several tall, well-built men stared steadily and bemusedly back at her. The oddest one was a seven foot giant with blue skin, blue hair, shark teeth and…gills? The heck?

The rest of them were relatively normal. Well, if you considered extremely and insanely handsome, normal. Deidara was a lean, blue eyed blond with short blond hair in a ponytail and side bangs to hide his left eye and she was sure that Sasori was the slender male with the amber eyes, as he was the only one present with red hair.

And just by looking at them, she was once again struck dumb. Itachi noticed this and gently pulled her to stand by his side to continue his introductions.

"My friends: Hidan, Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori and Deidara. My uncle Madara, and my cousins Shisui and Tobi," Itachi informed her curtly.

Sakura looked back up and was immediately able to identify the Uchiha family members; their identical black hair and eyes were dead giveaways but none of them were old or unattractive. Kisame was the shark looking one and Hidan had silver, slicked-back hair and dark purple eyes that were currently leering at her. Kakuzu was the darkest and had a smooth caramel complexion that set off his intense green eyes.

"This is Sakura, my new secretary and my date for this evening."

They all nodded in greeting and then Sakura was tackled to the ground by a blurry blob in what seemed to be a hug. "Hi Sakura-chan. Tobi is Tobi and Tobi is a good boy!" Squeaking in alarm, she clawed on Itachi's sleeve, pleading for assistance. Itachi pried his cousin Tobi off of her and threw him at Shisui, who sent poor Tobi off to sulk in a corner.

He bent to help Sakura and winced slightly as he noticed her slightly dazed look.

"The hell was that?"

Shisui stepped forward and kissed her hand. "That, my lovely Sakura, was my brother Tobi meeting new people. He's rather…enthusiastic about it usually. I blame it on one too many head injuries as a child."

Itachi glared at Sakura's hand in Shisui's. Shisui spared Itachi an amused glance as he released Sakura's hand and stepped back.

"Come now, baby. I don't think you want to stick around with these inexperienced boys," Madara whispered Sakura's ear. She shuddered and stepped away as if fire had burned her.

"Yo, hag. You got a sister? Looks like Itachi already bagged you. What kinda lucky bastard scores a hawt smexy chick like you as a secretary and a date? It's kinda got me feeling lonely."

"Hn."

"Itachi did not 'bag' me. I'm just his secretary and one time date, and if you call me hag one more time, I'mma smash your teeth in," she threatened darkly, having gotten over her initial reaction to seeing all these mouth-watering specimens of male beauty in one place.

A wave of laughter went about the group.

"Well, it looks like she really does have fire in her. Almost had me wondering if you lost your damn mind, taking a timid mouse like that. A girl needs spunk to handle you stubborn Uchihas," laughed Kisame.

Sakura let the comment slide and decided to satisfy her curiosity. Everyone watched as she walked up to Kisame and poked his cheeks where the gills were. Then she pried open his mouth and delicately touched the tip of one with her finger.

"Do you eat seafood?"

Hesitantly, Kisame replied, "Yeah, squirt. Why?"

Turning around to Itachi, she spoke solemnly," Your friend…is a cannibal."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Kisame. He looks like a shark, sharks are fish, fish are seafood and he eats seafood. Cannibals are defined as organisms that eat their own kind. He's a cannibal."

There was silence for several beats before Hidan and Deidara burst onto loud, hooting laughter.

"Hahaha…cannibal. I always knew you were weird, fishy," sniggered Deidara.

"Ahahhahahaha…your date's freaking awesome, Uchiha. Betcha didn't see that one coming, didya fish-sticks?" howled Hidan.

Kisame grinned, unfazed, and ruffled Sakura's hair. "I like her."

Itachi sighed and rubbed his temples. He scowled and glared at certain persons whose hands were attempting to grope Sakura.

"Sasori, Deidara and Hidan, if any part of you, attempt to touch my date again; I will personally see to it that I have you decapitated and dismembered."

The three men gulped and retracted their hands quickly. Itachi rolled his eyes and held out his elbow for Sakura to thread her arm through.

"If you will excuse us, I need to escort my date around, to…mingle and socialize," he said distastefully.

"And we all know what a challenge that is for you, Uchiha," Hidan replied snidely.

Itachi lead Sakura away from the group and was going to introduce her to some of his business partners before a loud voice interrupted him, again.

"Sakura-chan!"

Itachi groaned silently in distress. Turning, he noted a large group heading towards them and almost sobbed in despair. Almost. Uchiha's never lost their cool.

"I think it's for you," he remarked dryly as her eyes lit up.