10/16/13- Was reading over the chapters so I can make an update and realized this chapter has SO many mistakes! Sorry guys!
Author's Note: So I think 7 pages should make up for the amount of time it's been since I updated last. Sorry about that folks. I'm studying abroad and have very little time to write. But I hope you enjoy this one and I'm sorry for any typos. I'm exhausted. I'll come back to this chapter and edit it later if it needs it.
She wasn't sure how much time had passed. In all honesty, everything had been a blur, from the fight with her mother to running into Dwayne at the beach. He had done what she had asked and more. He had held her on the beach while she cried. He had told her it wasn't her fault. He had told her everything she had wanted to hear since she had first seen her father with another woman.
He had listened, never interrupting, never asking a question. He had just listened. The idea was foreign to her. She was used to her brothers always trying to turn things back on her or make things about themselves. She was too used to the far away look in her mother's eyes whenever Bekah tried to tell her something. All she needed to do was look into her mother's eyes and know, know that her mother blamed her for whatever had happened. In her mother's twisted mind, the only way to rationalize her husband cheating on her was that her daughter had done something wrong.
When Dwayne and Bekah had gotten back to his "place", the rest of the "pack" had been waiting for them. It was like they had a sixth sense, just like Dwayne. It was like they knew she was coming, knew she needed them. David had welcomed her with open arms and a surprisingly comforting kiss on the cheek. His cold blue eyes seemed to be less intense as they took in her blotchy face and shaking hands. Paul and Marko had greeted her with a few jokes and a few songs. They were intent on lightening her depressed mood and it worked for an hour or two.
Star was nowhere to be found but Dwayne had informed her with a whisper in her ear that she was in the back, sleeping with Laddie.
It must have been a month since that first night she had spent with Dwayne, maybe two. Bekah had honestly gotten so used to things, she had lost track of the real world. It was just her and the pack, her and the four boys she started to call family. She became so comfortable with them she never questioned how Paul and Marko always popped up out of nowhere with some kind of food or how usually the boys barely even touched it. She never questioned why they always went to the boardwalk, night after night, even though the boys seemed so bored with it. She didn't even question how every night was the same, staying up until dawn and then sleeping all day.
It became routine for her and she was comfortable with it. She had gotten to know them better than most of the people she had known back at home. Each of them had told her little bits about their past, not a whole lot, but just enough to let her know they had all known hardship and troubles. Dwayne had told her considerably less than the others, even David, but for some reason it didn't seem to bother her. She didn't mind that she didn't know that much about him because in all honesty her heart was convinced Dwayne was a good person deep down, even if he didn't always show it or act like it.
As far as she knew, Star had not had anymore "run-ins" with Michael, but sometimes she caught Dwayne and David whispering together when they thought she wasn't looking. She was sure it had something to do with her and maybe even Michael. She really wished they would just tell her what was going on. She expected Star was still trying to cause trouble and if that was the case, Bekah wanted to put a stop to it right away. She may not have been living with or speaking to Michael anymore, but she wasn't going to let someone like Star fuck with his head.
She hadn't seen either of her brothers in a month. The last time she had seen Michael had been at the boardwalk. He had been at least a hundred feet away but she saw him immediately and knew that he had seen her, too. She had pulled the disappearing into the crowd act that she had mastered while living with the guys. Michael had tried to follow her and had come close to finding her but she had outsmarted him at the last second. There was a lot to be said about the twin connection and Bekah had cursed it more then than she ever had before.
Ever since that slip up, she had tried to stay with at least one of the guys, usually Dwayne. There was something about him that made her want to be with him, maybe even forever.
The thought had crossed her mind, especially now as she openly stared at him as he leaned over the railway on the boardwalk. The breeze from the ocean was blowing his brown hair around his face. He looked so beautiful in that moment, so serene. She wanted to reach out and touch his face. She wanted to caress his cheek and run her hands down his bare chest.
She stopped her thoughts there.
Even though she had been living with them and spending all of her time with them, her relationship with Dwayne had not progressed into anything more than friends. One part of her was frustrated by it but the other thought that it might be for the best. She did live with them and if she tried to have a relationship with Dwayne and something went wrong, she would be out of a place to live. She knew the three other boys would choose Dwayne over her in the drop of a hat. She would never be as important to them as Dwayne was.
"What are you staring at?" Dwayne asked.
He must have felt her staring at him because he hadn't even turned to look at her.
"You," she answered, without a pause or thought to what she was saying.
"Why?" His tone of voice was bored and he still hadn't looked at her. It was frustrating.
"You look so serene like that, so beautiful, like you don't have a care in the world but at the same time everything in the world matters to you…" She let her voice trail off. She had already said too much. She had never said anything like that to him before, no matter how often she had thought about it.
She could still remember when she had first met him and he had turned away any sort of affection she had tried to show him. The thought of it still hurt her ego and her heart.
He finally turned to stare at her and his dark brown eyes were intense, almost black. They pulled her in and threatened to drown her if she didn't look away. But she couldn't. He was so intoxicating.
She barely registered his hand as it rose to her face. When his fingers made contact with her cheek, she leaned into it. The touch only lasted a few seconds. He had reached up to brush a piece of hair away from her face, nothing more. Her cheeks burned red with embarrassment and she started to look away. He caught her chin in his hand and forced her to look back at him. They had some how gotten closer to each other and Bekah's arm was almost touching Dwayne's bare chest. She wanted to reach up and lay her palm against his chest but images of the last time she had done that flashed through her mind and she stopped.
Instead, she focused on his eyes and the gentle hold he had on her chin. He was guiding her face towards his, slowly but surely. Her heart swelled with some feeling she didn't recognize and her breathing increased. She parted her lips a little bit, tempted to start panting from all of the overwhelming feelings.
"Bekah!"
The grip on her chin tightened for a second before releasing completely and Bekah watched as Dwayne's eyes quickly turned completely black before he turned back to staring at the ocean.
Her heart fell and she reached up to grab at her chest. She felt like she was going to have a heart attack.
"Bekah!"
She heard the voice again. It seemed to snap her out of the overwhelming feeling of loss that was creeping over her, but she knew it would be back.
"Sam!" She exclaimed when she finally saw him coming towards her. "What are you doing out here alone? Where's Michael?"
"We split up." Sam was standing right in front of her now. His eyes were moving between Bekah and Dwayne who was still standing against the railing, pretending he had no interest in the matter. "We've been looking for you, you know." Sam continued.
"Why?" Bekah snapped suddenly. She didn't mean for it to come out so harsh but she didn't understand why Michael was particularly concerned about her. He hadn't shown any interest before.
"We miss you. Mom's all over the place. She's getting ready to put up missing person's posters-"
"Mom's why I left," Bekah interrupted in a harsh voice. "Maybe you should ask her what happened and why I left because I'm not going over it again. And I'm not going home and I'm not going to see her."
"Well, just because you don't want to see her doesn't mean you can't see me and Mike, right?" Sam said hopefully. He had that pleading look on his face that she always fell for.
"No, it doesn't mean that. But I don't want to see Mike either. I don't know if you can understand this, Sammy, but I'm tired of being the one everyone blames for the divorce. I can't live under the same roof as mom and Michael and have them look at me like they do."
"Mike doesn't blame you!" Sam's voice was honest and Bekah felt sorry that he actually believed what he was saying.
"He does Sam…" She trailed off as she spotted David in the distance walking towards her and Dwayne. She trusted David, but that didn't mean he was the type of person she wanted her little brother to be hanging around. "Listen, Sam, you better go." She put her hands on his shoulders and squeezed a little bit, trying to give him some comfort. "Don't come looking for me again, ok? It's dangerous. And don't tell Michael you saw me. I don't want him near me…or any of my friends. He'll just cause trouble." She pulled Sam in for a hug before he could say anything. She squeezed him for dear life as her heart sunk in her chest.
Why did it feel like she was saying her final goodbye?
"Bekah." She could hear the hurt in Sam's voice and it made it harder to hold back her own tears.
"I mean it, Sam. I love you but I'm on my own now." She shoved him out of the hug a little, trying to encourage him to start walking the other way.
"You mean you've replaced me," Sam spat out bitterly. His gaze had turned back to Dwayne and the three other boys that had just arrived to meet them.
"I would never replace you, Sam," Bekah answered as she tried to ignore David standing behind her. "Never. You'll always be my little brother!" She let a tear fall just so Sam could see it, so hopefully he would understand how hard it was for her to let him go. But he was the only one she could stand, the only one that had really made an effort to find her and talk to her. She wanted him to understand that she still loved him and that he would always be in her heart, no matter what.
"Goodbye, Sam," she said lowly, as she felt David's hand take a gentle hold of her own and start pulling her towards their bikes. She watched as Sam shook his head and then finally turned around and ran in the other direction. She hoped he would keep his word and not tell Michael or their mother that he had seen her.
Her family didn't need to know where she was or whom she was staying with. She wanted it that way.
"Let's go," David said lowly as he let go of her hand and climbed onto his bike. Bekah nodded numbly, following his lead and heading towards Dwayne's bike where he sat waiting for her. Usually Laddie road with Dwayne, Star road with David, and Bekah switched between Paul and Marko, but tonight, Laddie and Star had stayed back at the cave, leaving her free to ride with the only person she really wanted to at the moment.
He helped her onto the back of his bike and she wrapped her arms around him without a second thought. A few minutes later they were speeding across the beach and into the trees.
She rested her head on the back of his shoulders, hoping he didn't feel the dampness her tears made on his shirt.
"Stay here for a minute," Dwayne whispered to her when they finally reached the cave. The other boys were already shutting off their bikes and heading inside. Dwayne slowly turned the key in the ignition and his engine came to a halt. Silence filled the air as David gracefully climbed off his bike and started down the staircase; only giving Bekah and Dwayne one glance before he went inside.
"You alright?" Dwayne asked her, once the other three were inside and out of sight.
"Fine." She answered curtly. She unwrapped her arms from his waist finally and climbed off the back of his bike. Her cheeks were starting to burn red as she started to remember what could have happened if Sam hadn't interrupted them earlier on the boardwalk.
"Don't lie to me," Dwayne's voice took on a low undertone, a tone of voice she had never heard from him before.
"Why not?" She snapped back. She wrapped her arms around her own waist, trying to preserve some heat as the wind blew harshly over the bluffs. "All three of you lie to me, always whispering to each other in the dark like I won't notice."
"Don't talk about things you don't know anything about." Dwayne quickly got off his bike to stand in front of her. His eyes were black again.
"Take your own advice!" She nearly screamed at him. She felt like it had little effect over the sound of the wind but still hoped her point had gotten across.
And it had.
She knew it had because a second later he was grabbing her by her hair and pulling her face roughly towards his. He stopped when they were nose to nose, his piercing black eyes almost staring directly into her soul. She hissed and reached her own hand back, trying to get him to release her head, but to no avail.
She brought her hands up and tried to push him away by his chest. His skin was cold under her fingers and when pushing him away didn't work, she thought about digging her nails into his skin. He wasn't exactly hurting her but she didn't like the position he had her in. She felt too vulnerable and powerless.
"Don't you trust me?" He whispered to her, his eyes still boring holes into her. She hissed again as he tugged at her hair, his sign that she needed to give him an answer.
"Yes," she said softly and against her better judgment. She was just giving him more power this way.
He drew himself to his full height, his hand tugging at her hair to make her head tip back and then closer to him. They were finally touching, her breasts against his lower ribs, her thighs against his legs, her stomach against his manhood.
"Then trust me," he said lowly.
Every part of her seemed to catch fire. He was touching her, was against her, and it felt so good and so right. She shuddered at just the feel of his skin against hers.
And whimpered when she felt his breath on her neck.
"Dwayne," she said breathlessly as goose bumps rose on her arms. His hand was still painfully tangled in her hair but it didn't matter. All she could feel was the pleasure of having him against her.
Another commotion broke them apart, this time at the front of the cave. Dwayne untangled himself from Bekah quickly and they both looked towards the entrance of the cave in time to see Michael trying to make his escape with Star, David, Paul, and Marko hot on his heals.
"What are you doing here?" Bekah said, as she stepped in front of him before he could leave.
Michael didn't answer right away so Bekah answered her own question for him.
"You came for Star didn't you?" Her voice was filled with disgust and so were her eyes as she looked at her twin brother. "And you-you left Sam on the boardwalk all by himself! You lied to him! You told him you were looking for me!" She pushed Michael with all her might and watched in satisfaction as he stumbled backwards and his foot caught on a rock.
"You sick bastard," she said as she stood over him while he tried to right himself. "You left our baby brother on the boardwalk all by himself with no one to look after him. Do you know how dangerous the boardwalk is? Do you know what kind of people hang out there? Murder capital of the world, remember Michael? All because you wanted to see this fucking bitch again!" Bekah screamed in his face and pushed him back to the hard ground again, pointing one finger in the direction of Star.
"You can't leave well enough alone." She went to kick him while he was down but David rushed towards her and caught her before she could.
"It's ok," he soothed, his blue eyes reaching out and calming her. "I handled it. Sam will be fine. I promise."
She took a deep breath, believing David's words but still completely shocked that her twin brother could be such a complete selfish asshole.
David's hand ran up and down her arm comfortingly as he held her in his arms and away from Michael. Michael was finally able to get to his feet and for a few seconds it looked like Star was about to go over to him. Glares from the entire group stopped her in her tracks.
"You're a disgrace." Bekah said finally. Her voice was low this time and she hoped Michael could hear just how disappointed she was. "I don't understand how you ended up so selfish." She finally started to relax in David's arms as the fight started to leave her and utter exhaustion started to take over.