Hey guys! I have nothing to say, so here you go. Enjoy your day, everyone.

. . .

We're training in the dojo this morning. Not just my father and I. It's all of us today. These kind of trainings happen once in a blue moon; most of the time, it's the three of them training together, and I'm training alone. Today, Splinter has given us an "all together" training, and I couldn't feel more relaxed, knowing that I can't be beat in front of them.

"Nice work, Leonardo! Perfect form!" He praises me. I almost laugh at this; this praise is only an act from him. He'd be beating me to the ground right now if the others weren't here. Besides these thoughts, I continue to step up in my form, while all the others are falling behind. I may be ahead of them, but I'm not even close to where my father wants me to be. Thankfully, he can't do anything to me right now.

I hear Raphael scoff next to me. He mumbles something, and I feel him glare at me. Despite how much he affects me, I ignore it, and I continue.

"Raphael. More speed," Splinter says. I thought Raphael was moving pretty fast enough, but I guess I was wrong. I decided not to interfere. That's what Splinter wants from him, so I'll let it go.

"Donatello, more force." Donnie's trying, I can see that. But before I could say something, Splinter speaks again.

"Michelangelo, more focus!" He yells this at my baby bother, and I instantly feel bad for Mikey. He can't help his wandering mind. He's a young, teenage boy. His mind wanders, but he still tries to focus as much as he can. But, like the other two, I let it go.

I perform a kick in the air. I land a bit sloppily, but I don't let that get to me. I continue as if nothing happened.

"Great landing, Leonardo!" Are you serious? His acting is going to go this far? To where my sloppiest landings are great? Before I could say anything, Raph steps up. We all freeze.

"Are ya' serious? That was the messiest landin' I've ever seen! And ya' gonna praise ol' Fearless for it? Ya' should be lecturin' 'im, just like ya' lecture us!" He turns away from my father and pushes me. "But no one would ever hurt Fearless, now would they?"

Splinter doesn't say anything, but I sure as hell am. "What's your problem, Raph? I do get lectured; I get lectured for things I do wrong! That's why I'm not being lectured today; because I already get lectured in my trainings!"

He pushes me again. This time, to the floor. "Ya' know what? Ya' suck at lyin'! I know ya' lyin', Leo! Ya' always bein' praised and shit when ya' even make the biggest mistakes!" He hits me. "Ya' always have ta' be loved and praised, and what da' we get? Nothin'!" He hits me again.

I don't say anything. If I say something, I'll end up spilling out the secret, and I'll be in for a rude awakening then. It won't happen.

"Why aren't ya' sayin' anythin'? Is it 'cause I'm right?" He yells and hits me again. I want kick him in the stomach; cause him pain for once. However, I don't. I can't hurt him; he's my brother, the one I love most. I can't hurt him. I won't.

What happens next takes me by suprise. Splinter gets up and tosses Raphael off of me, like he's just a rag doll. He bends down and places a hand on my forehead, causing me to muster the very slightest of flinches.

He frowns at that, but as soon as he realizes that no one noticed, his frown turns to a straight line; his eyes molded into a concerned gaze. He speaks softly and lovingly. "My son, are you alright?" This is what I love about our trainings as all of us. He actually treats me like his son; he treats me just as he did when I was a tot. I'd do anything to go back to those days. Anything.

"Yes, Sensei. I'm okay." This feels amazing, to be able to talk to my father with no fear of saying the wrong thing. It's a simple "yes or no" question. There's no reason to be hated for this one.

"Alright, my son," he takes his hand off of my forehead and helps me up, a small smile on his face. He hasn't smiled at me in years; it feels so nice to see him smile again, while the reason for his smile is me. At least, I think.

"Training is dismissed for today. No more trainings until tomorrow morning. You all may use the rest of this day to do whatever you please." I almost leap into joy at this. No training. No beating. No aches or pains. I can spend today however I like. Maybe I'll hang out with my brothers. Maybe I'll draw in my sketchbook. Maybe I'll take my time running along the rooftops. Maybe, just maybe, I'll do everything.

This day has brought me into such a great mood; I haven't felt like this in a long while. I have freedom today, and I couldn't be happier.

I spend most of the day drawing, drawing the most beautiful things in my eyes; the city, bouquets of roses, crowns and bracelets of flowers, and my brother, Raphael. I see him as the most beautiful of all. He is the most beautiful in my eyes, and nothing will change that. Not to me.

I suppose my brothers have been doing what they normally do during free days; Raphael practicing on his punching bag, Michelangelo playing his video games, and Donatello working on his inventions in the lab. Those three always know how to occupy themselves with the things they love. I'm glad that those things could be given to them.

It's now late in the afternoon. The sun is almost down, so I'll be able to take a walk topside pretty soon. I decide to walk out of my room and to the living room, where I see all three of my brothers sitting on the couch, with Mikey's video game paused. Before I could ask why they paused the game, I hear Raphael speak.

"He needs to learn that he ain't the only one in dis' lair. The dude can't stand a fucking minute without bein' praised!" My heart drops at this. I know that he thinks all of that, but for him to say it out loud? "He's nothing but a suck up; a teacher's pet." So that's what he muttered in training. Teacher's pet.

"I agree." Donnie. "He needs to learn that he isn't perfect, and that we can do anything without him. He thinks that we can't survive without him. He needs to open his eyes and see that we could fare just fine."

Mikey is the next to speak up. "Dudes, you saw what happened this morning in training! I got yelled at for not focusing, but he got worshiped for a messy landing! It's bullshit! The dude just gets a praise after praise!" He calms down after this. "He's just getting in the way. We'd be better off if he just left. I mean, seriously . . ." I don't stand there to wait for them to say more.

I run back to my room.

I cry.

That's it. This whole day, I was so happy. And for what? Just to be beat down again. Maybe not physically, but mentally. My one chance to be happy is shattered and grounded into dust, the dust being blown away by the unforgiving winds, leaving me to bathe in sadness. This is what I hate. I hate it. I hate myself. I hate this life. This horrible, horrible life.

You see? They don't care about you. They never will. You heard them. They want you gone. They want you to leave. They want you dead, especially him.

I cry.

You're useless. You're a burden. Just leave. You'd make things better. For everyone.

These voices; they're back. They won't leave me alone . . .

Go ahead. Just do it.

I bury my face into a pillow.

I cry.

I cut.