A/N: I just realized that tomorrow is New Year's Eve. So I thought it might be better and more convenient to post a day early. I have two songs that I think fit this chapter well. The first one I maybe should have put with the last chapter, but oh well. I will post links on my tumblr (pentopage33) so you can easily listen to them if you want to. They are as follows:

1. The Only Exception by Paramore

2. Explosions by Zolita

Thank you all for the continued support and I hope you enjoy the new Chapter!

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Chapter 14

Beca approaches Chloe's dorm room slowly, calculated. This was it she was going to tell her best friend she was in love with her, well was falling at least, again. As soon as she knocked on that door and it opened, ushered inside soon after, that would be it. Everything would change. Or maybe, just maybe it would all be the same. Maybe there would just be things added on. More public displays of affection and some kissing. That's what Beca was desperately hoping for and she was almost positive that was what would happen. After all Jesse had given the situation his stamp of approval, confirming Chloe liked her. That boy was never wrong about those things.

So Beca took a deep breath as her feet stilled, facing the door. For a second she thought about just forgetting about it because what if this was the one time Jesse was wrong. It was known to happen. He was never wrong in relationship to Beca's romantic relationships, though, but he was wrong about certain things. She stood there for a moment, trying to calm the nerves telling her to flee. Telling her to just run because she was foolish to think anyone would like her. That she was anything more than 'the friend'. She pushed away all the nervous anxiety with thoughts of Chloe's caresses, the smile and wink reserved for her alone, the little declarations of fondness held in comforting gestures, and how Chloe always knew what to say or do to make her happy. So incredible happy that she wasn't sure she had known the feeling before.

With that, Beca stepped closer to the door and raised her hand to knock, she was ready. She paused for a moment, hearing noise on the other side of the door. Maybe Chloe had company. The noise got louder and only then was Beca able to recognize the noise, Titanium. It made her smile, thinking of the shower she shared with Chloe and the other memories of the two of them curled up against each other in the library or on the quad laughing together, just being together that song playing in the background. Just happy. All remaining fears were pushed away because it was their song and she could not think of a more perfect song to be playing in the background as she confessed her feelings. She knew it was sappy, but she had waited six years for this. She just didn't know that this was what she was waiting for. So she knocked.

Only there wasn't an answer. Which was completely fine, she knew Chloe was home. She just probably couldn't hear Beca over the music. Beca could picture her friend dancing around the room mouthing the words. The image brought a smile to her face. So she knocked again, this time with more force. Again no answer and Beca's smile dropped slightly, thinking once again that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to confess her feelings to Chloe. Chloe obviously was caught up in something. Beca's eyes danced over the door again, debating on whether or not she should knock again or go back to her dorm, when she noticed the door wasn't fully shut. Suddenly the idea of surprising Chloe was really appealing. After all, Chloe loved surprises. She loved it when her broody friend just randomly appeared during her usual routine, always greeting her with one of her excited hugs and a giant beaming smile. Beca could picture her smile as she stood there looking at the scuffed and faded wood of the door. So she pushed the door open.

She wished she hadn't.

At first she couldn't move. Beca remained completely frozen in place, her face slowly dropping. Her brain was yelling at her to just close the door and go, but she couldn't. She was transfixed because she was sure this time she had interpreted the signs correctly. Chloe liked her. She really liked her. More than friends liked each other, but then there she was before Beca. All thoughts involving the redhead and her squashed in one second because there was Chloe… and Tom. Chloe on top of Tom. Chloe riding Tom, her hands pushing against his bare chest and grasping for purchase, pushing him further into the mattress. Beca could see every ripple of pleasure Chloe felt under Tom's administration because her body was facing Beca. She could see Chloe gasping for air as moans were offered up as a trade in exchange. She could see the way Chloe's face scrunched up. The way Chloe's scar twisted as the redhead's brow furrowed in pleasure. She didn't dare let her eyes wonder lower. Then there were blue eyes looking at her. At first unseeing, lidded and hazy from lust, but then they seemed to snap to full attention with panic, fear even, and Chloe's body stilled. That's when Beca left, shutting the door softly behind her. As if by shutting the door Beca could pretend she never saw it, but she did see it. All of it and she couldn't un-see it.

Beca started off just walking. She could do walking, concentrating on each step, placing each foot just so. Maybe if she moved, walked, normally then everything would be fine. But her walking wasn't normal. It was calculated and unnatural and everything wasn't okay. She couldn't block out the images and her thoughts wouldn't stop swirling around and around. All her thoughts centered on how stupid and foolish she was. How she should have known she would never be more than 'the friend'. As her thoughts flitted faster and faster through her mind, inter mingled with images of Chloe and Tom, Beca's pace quickened until she was running. She didn't even realize she was crying until she reached up to wipe away what she thought was sweat, only to find the only salty water present was falling from her eyes. She knew she was crumbling slowly with each step, but maybe if she moved fast enough the pieces would shift back into place and she wouldn't have to break. She could survive this. She could survive Chloe.

Eventually her muscles gave out, and she fell to the ground on her hands and knees, desperately trying to take in air around the sobs that racked her body because she was breaking and she couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop it. So she laid against the cool grass at the edge of the lake on the far end of campus, trying to calm herself to be able to sit up. Then she was pulling her legs into her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Her head rest on top of her knees as she spaced out, trying to quiet her mind.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting curled within herself by the lake. All she knew was she vaguely remembered the sky changing color as she ran and now it was pitch black. Her body was shaking but she was not sure if it was from the cold or if her body was still reeling from the tears that her eyes couldn't seem to produce anymore even though she was going through the motions. It doesn't even matter because this was her life now, void of everything. Void of happiness. For once, even though she wants to say she should have known, she knows her lack of knowledge was founded. Jesse was even fooled after all and he was always right. Even the Bellas were fooled and they saw Chloe and her interact a lot more than Jesse did. None of those thoughts helped, acting like band aids used to patch an amputated limb. Nothing fit. Nothing seemed right. It just didn't work. It certainly didn't stop the bleeding.

Beca sat there for what had to be 10 minutes since kind of composing herself, shivering the whole time, before soft steps approached. She knew who it was, there was only one person who knew she was upset. What she saw.

Chloe approached slowly, cautiously even. As if Beca was a creature easily spooked and if she moved to quickly the brunette would bolt. She hated it. She hated felling weak and vulnerable. She knew Chloe would be looking at her with concern maybe even pity because she was the idiot best friend that was falling for her straight best friend. It was obvious now. Beca resented herself, her feelings, and that damn tether that felt like it was a few inches too short for Beca to move without it tearing her heart in two. It hurt to even breathe, her heart pumping to move the air her lungs took in.

The current of the air changed as Chloe shifted closer, hesitantly putting a hand on Beca's shoulder, only to have the petite woman flinch away. She knew where that hand had been, who it had been adoring. Who it was meant to touch in the way Beca wished it would touch her. Instead of bringing her comfort or making her body burn up with a settling warmth, it hurt. For once she couldn't stand being near Chloe Beale.

"Becs…" A soft voice spoke, the body it belonged to crouched, squatting, to her side. Beca knew Chloe wanted her to look at her. The redhead wanted to visually check the damage of what was bothering her friend. Beca didn't want to look at Chloe and she definitely didn't want Chloe to see the void of her face and the deep pain in her eyes. So she just continued to stare out into the dark expanse she knew held a lake.

Chloe shifted beside her. "You can talk to me. What's bothering you?" Beca didn't answer, believing it was painfully obvious. "It must have been important for you to visit my room earlier." Chloe's body shifted again as if to nudge Beca, put swung back before they actually touched. If Chloe only knew. What Chloe said was true, Beca had never been to Chloe's room before. They always hung out in Beca's room and what she had to say was important, but she still remained silent. "Does it have something to do with the Bellas or Aubrey?" Still no answer. "Your dad?"

Finally Beca scoffed because surely Chloe knew why she was upset. She had been trailing after the redhead practically like a lovesick puppy for weeks. Surely she knew. There was also all the moments of stuttering flusteredness, blushing, and hitches of breath that clearly showed Beca's feelings. She felt an anger slowly building because Chloe had to be toying with her. It was obvious. Even the Bellas had caught on, making off handed comments to the pint sized DJ in front of Chloe. Not to mention, Chloe told her she broke up with Tom. The other woman's nonchalance about it seemed strange at the time, but it had been almost a month and Beca figured she had gone to Aubrey for comfort. Even though Beca wished the redhead had trusted her enough to confide in her, Beca knew she sucked at touchy feely stuff. That was surely why Chloe hadn't gone to her. Beca had shrugged it off at the time, chalking it up to one of the things people knew she wasn't good enough for. Now, though, the double lie just made Beca wonder what else Chloe was hiding and if everything she ever told her was a lie. It only made her anger grow.

"What?..." Chloe let out tentatively, obviously confused.

Beca finally turned to look at the girl next to her, propelled solely by the blood boiling in her veins. Her tear stained face and puffy eyes and cheeks were fully on display. The anguish clearly clinging around the edges of her face and a deep pain shimmered in her eyes. There was that look of concern and care on the redhead's face Beca was trying to avoid. She ignored it, her anger and anguish to great at the moment to take in anything else because she had to do this. It was her last hope at being put back together again.

"You don't know?" Her voice was more gravelly, the cold wind from her earlier run and endless tears stripping her throat raw.

Chloe just shook her head no.

"You really don't know do you?"

Chloe's scrunched up look of confusion that was quickly morphing into compassion broke Beca completely from her state. She sprang to her feet, pacing back and forth as she tangled her hands in her own hair and pulled as she walked.

"God, I'm so fucking stupid!"

"Beca… What's going on?"

She turned to the now standing Chloe, letting the anguish take over her face, making it droop in such a way that it looked like she was going to cry again. Her hands fell to her sides. "How do you not know? It's so fucking obvious. God, everyone- they all know. All the Bellas." Chloe's confusion just seemed to grow more, Beca not really answering her question. "Chloe- I like- I'm in love with you, well I was when I was- I was 12 and now," Beca rethreaded her hands in her hair, giving a hefty pull. "Now… is just fucking great. God, Chloe- I'm-I'm falling for you again. Really falling." She made eye contact with Chloe at the end, tears at the edge of her eyes, pleading with the older woman for anything. For some relief. It didn't seem like there was going to be any. So Beca continued on, hands dropping back to her sides. "I was- I was going to tell you." Her voice cracked as she went on. "just like- I was 12 and there was that damn door. I was going to tell you- I was- I was there, but Jason and now-now Tom. And you were and now you were- you know with Tom." There was a long pause before Beca finished in a whisper just loud enough for Chloe to hear, eyes focused on the ground. "That's why I never called. I-I couldn't take it. You choosing him over me. Just like-like everyone else. You were- you were just going to leave."

She could feel tears slowly fall as the silence took over. Then Chloe spoke soft, "What about Jesse?... And Stacie?"

Beca looked up at Chloe. The redhead's face was a mask, completely void of anything Beca could read as meaning something. It was worse than the looks of concern. Far worse.

Beca's hands played at the hem of her shirt as she spoke, a sliver of hope blossoming in her chest and her tears stopped. "We-uh- We dated in high school, but it ah didn't work. Jesse that is. We broke up. Now we're uh friends. I didn't- it didn't mean anything. I just wanted to, um, mess with Aubrey. That's why-why I didn't say anything." A broken noise that was supposed to be a laugh came out. There was a twinge of bitterness as she thought about Stacie and the mess the brunette had created. It came through in her voice, the irony of it all. "Stacie-Stacie was trying to help. She-she wanted-was trying to-to make you jealous. So-So I-I'd get my head out my ass and-and ask you out. And the lap dance that was-that was a, uh, dare. I didn't-didn't even enjoy it. You're all I want." She thought maybe just maybe Chloe did have feelings for her and just held back because she thought that Jesse and she were together. At the mention of Stacie, maybe after practice the lengthy brunette became yet another option. It didn't seem to be the case.

When the silence seemed to last longer than needed for a normal response, Beca tried lightening up the mood. Anything to try and regain that easy back and forth they had. Anything to pretend that everything would be okay. It just came off broken and desperate, her voice quivering towards the end. "Pretty funny, huh?"

Chloe didn't say anything. She just stood there looking at Beca, well not really looking so much at her as through her. She still had that unreadable mask on. There was something going on, a whirl of activity behind those eyes, but nothing that made sense. As the seconds passed by, any hope remaining was slowly dying and Beca knew that this was not how it was supposed to go. That everything was wrong. Chloe was supposed to have the answers. She always did, well 15 year old Chloe always did. She began to wonder if this would have been what happened if she had confessed her feelings when she was 12. But 15 year old Chloe had rom coms and pure acceptance no matter what, but this Chloe did too. Somehow Beca knew it wasn't the same. She was beginning to realize no matter how much time she spent with this Chloe she would never be 12 year old Beca's Chloe. She couldn't rewind all the years that had passed. They were different and Beca desperately wished she was 12 again because her Chloe, the Chloe of her dreams would know what to do. She would say the perfect thing and hug her. She would make Beca feel so incredibly safe and they would figure it out together, even if that Chloe didn't feel the same.

Instead she was left a drift, cold and shivering, her face streaked in tears as she waited for anything. An utterance of a grunt would suffice, but there was nothing. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was going to confess her feelings. Then Chloe would ask her questions and Beca, well Beca was going to answer them. Every last one. She would have even talked about her grandpa. The time had passed for that. She had instead blurted out a condensed version after a sloppy admittance of her feelings. So Beca said the only thing she could say, voice cracking. "Please, say something."

There was nothing though. Chloe opened her mouth as if she was going to speak, but then it closed. That was it. Beca knew it was over. All her worries verified. Her role verified and, most importantly, that no one ever could truly care about her verified. So she turned and walked away, tears quickly falling. She let them, the rest of her following. She collapsed on her bed numb and broken, sobs rocking her body. This was it. Chloe Beale didn't like her. Chloe never cared. Now she knew.

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A/N: I was mildly annoyed when the first two people guessed how this might go, but then I had to laugh at myself when a bunch of other people came to the same conclusion. I seriously thought I was being so sneaky. Anyway, I'm going to post something on my tumblr (pentopage33) that will (hopefully) help cheer you up if you need it. If need be, you could always try reading my other two Bechloe fics. They both have happy endings and are completed. Also, I did a new calculation and I'm thinking there will be roughly 25 chapters total by the time I finish this story. So there is a lot of story left. I feel weird saying something after this chapter, but Happy New Year!