The Favor
Or
What's a Girl Like You Doing On a (White) Knight Like This?
Chapter Five
Emma paused as she reached for the door to Granny's, her eyes fixed on the figures inside the diner.
Snow and Charming were in a booth, their backs to the front door, while Ruby stood beside them, her hands braced on the tabletop as she leaned forward, a broad grin on her face, mouth moving rapidly. Clearly she had an opinion about something.
Meanwhile, every other booth and table in the place was filled to capacity. Apparently Leroy had gotten the word out. Or maybe Ruby. Or perhaps it was just the weird vibe that went through Storybrooke whenever something exciting was happening that assured the maximum number of people were always present to give witness.
And Emma strongly suspected that Snow White learning daughter was dating her nemesis, the Evil Queen, was likely to turn very exciting.
So, yeah, of course there was a filled-to-capacity crowd.
"Um, Mom?" Henry murmured. "Are we gonna, y'know, go inside?"
"Indeed, Miss Swan," Regina added her own prompt.
Emma glanced back, but her hand remained frozen on the doorpull. "Just ... ummm..." she stammered uncertainly.
"Scared Gram and Granddad are gonna lock you in your room for dating the Evil Queen?" Henry teased.
"Er ... it's just ... I mean, not exactly, but..." Emma exhaled, then glanced over at Regina and flinched as she saw a flare of emotion — hurt, guilt, or maybe insecurity — in dark eyes before it disappeared behind a high wall. Her chest ached in unexpected sympathy as it struck that even if Regina had chosen this game, it still had the power to hurt her. "I mean, no," she corrected herself. A deep breath settled some of the trepidation and it occurred to her that in spite of Regina's earlier glee, she was just as scared as Emma. "I just realized that if we're going to do this..." She paused as she reached out and caught Regina's hand in her own, just as startled by the gesture as the brunette appeared to be. "...if we're going to do this, we need to present a united front." She grinned at the kid and slipped an arm across his shoulders. "Let's go." She started to turn back toward the diner, only to be surprised when Regina planted her feet and tugged sharply on their bound hands, pulling Emma back around.
The fear was even more obvious this time. "Miss Swan," Regina said softly, her tone suddenly serious. Dark eyes slid away from Emma, focusing instead on a point in the distance. "I shouldn't have pushed you to do this ... and if you would prefer..." She trailed off and was silent for a moment.
It occurred to Emma she should be jumping with joy. No need to confront her parents, except... Yeah, there was that look on Regina's face and the sudden sinking sense in her stomach.
"You needn't do this," the queen continued, her gaze downcast. "I'll do whatever I can to help you deal with your Hook problem without—"
"Without feeding me?" Emma startled herself by rejecting the offer to take the easy way out. She grinned and shook her head, dismissing the idea. "Sorry, but you don't get out of picking up the tab that easily."
Regina tipped her head to one side, peering at Emma with a look of confusion. "Emma?" she questioned, her use of Emma's first name an indication of just how thrown she was by the Savior's refusal to back out of her plan.
Squeezing the hand still caught in her own, Emma offered a wry smile. "I think it's time we go in there and show my parents how proud I am of this family."
Regina resisted the pressure and stood peering at Emma. "You know I won't be able to resist..." The words trailed to a halt as she considered how to phrase it.
"Tweaking my mother?" Emma grinned at Regina's small nod, then shrugged. "Snow White could probably use a little tweaking," she admitted. For a woman who'd once lived with seven men, her mother could be an awful prig at times.
Regina debated arguing, only to decide that looking a gift horse in the mouth was foolish. She grinned. "Aren't you lucky you found the woman for the job then?" she drawled, gripping Emma's hand tightly as she strode forward, pulling the blonde along in her wake.
Suddenly panicked, Emma glanced down at her son, who only shrugged as he was pulled along.
"You had your chance," he mouthed.
When the kid was right, he was right.
Then suddenly they were inside and Ruby was stepping aside to make way and Emma's parents were staring expectantly up at her and everyone in the place was trying to look like they were paying attention to their food when they clearly weren't.
"Emma ... you're here," Snow exhaled, then glanced over at Regina and let out a tiny sigh. "Regina, I-I didn't expect you to join us for ... for Emma's news." As she said the last words, her chin and lower lip quivered gently."I invited her," Emma said without further explanation. That would come soon enough and she was in no hurry to get there.
"I-I guess it does...does affect you...and Henry," she stammered. Reaching blindly, she found Charming's hand with her own and there was a solid squeeze. Bucking each other up.
David barely glanced at Regina before turning a loving gaze on Emma. "That's fine, kiddo," he said softly even as the muscles in his arms rippled and he clung more tightly to his wife's hold. He looked like he might just break into tears at any moment. "We-we're here for you."
Emma's stomach sank. It looked like her parents had already heard the news and were not handling it well. Damn. Then she felt a firm squeeze on her own hand and glanced over at Regina.
The look in brown eyes left her feeling calmer and encouraged, which wasn't at all what Emma should have expected given their history and yet it was surprisingly unsurprising. Finally, she turned toward her parents and was startled to note that the look her father was giving her mother was oddly similar. Another firm squeeze brought her out of her silent musings, the warm touch surprisingly comforting.
"You two take the booth," Henry said quickly. "I'll grab a chair." Then he hurried off in search.
"He's such a sweet boy," Snow White said, her voice only a little warbly. "You've done a wonderful job with him," she directed at Emma.
"We're very proud," Regina agreed smoothly. She slanted a quick look at Emma, not defiant or angry like it once would have been, but silently seeking support.
"Yeah." Emma nodded, her smile meant to be reassuring. This time she was the one who squeezed the hand caught in her own. "We've got a good kid," she confirmed, then waved Regina into the booth first, brushing her fingers along the small of the other woman's back as she eased past her. "And thanks to Regina, he even picks up his dirty clothes—" grinning, she slid into the booth "—and folds his own laundry."
"He says you wrinkle his shirts," Regina teased, a flicker of a smile curving her lips. Aware of the avidly watching crowd, she gracefully resettled herself until her thigh nudged up against Emma's, then casually stretched an arm along the seat behind the blonde, idly toying with her hair.
Even knowing the warmth of the thigh pressed against her own and the gentle hand in her hair were part of the act, Emma found it more than a little disturbing just how pleasant and downright normal it felt.
And maybe Regina felt the same because their gazes met and the quick look led to tiny, shared smiles that morphed into a pair of wry grins. Then suddenly Regina leaned close, her breath brushing the hair near Emma's ear as she whispered, "You chose the outer seat. Ready to make a fast exit?"
Feeling heat crawl over her cheekbones, Emma was intensely aware of every point of contact and the easy intimacy of the pose. Despite the temptation to reply, she swung her head toward the opposite side of the table, fully expecting to meet a wall of parental glares. Instead, her parents were facing each other, totally focused on whatever they were whispering back and forth. Her mother's expression was worried, while her father appeared borderline weepy.
Suddenly Mary Margaret tensed and looked up, seeming startled as she noted Emma's perusal. Still toying with the hair at the nape of her husband's neck, she turned her attention toward her daughter. "So you ... uh ... you said you had ... news ... for your father and I?" she stammered uncertainly, her eyes glittering with more terror than she'd shown for any number of witches, ogres, ice queens, or even dirty diapers.
"Uh, yeah," Emma exhaled sharply. "We just ... uh—"
"So what can I get for you?"
Yessss! Ruby with the save. Emma turned a grateful smile on the waitress and resisted the urge to do a fist pump, instead opting to grab a menu and make a show of studying it as if she didn't already know the thing by heart.
Regina, meanwhile, snorted softly. "She'll have a burger with extra cheese and bacon, spicy fries, and a chocolate shake, mustard and ketchup on the side and hold the pickle and lettuce ... because god forbid Emma accidentally eat anything green."
Every eye at the table swung her way.
"What?" Regina demanded in response to the attention. "It's what she always gets."
Looking to her side, Emma sharpened her gaze as she peered at her partner in crime. "And Regina will have..." She paused to consider an answer before continuing, "Caesar salad, extra cheese and croutons, but light on the dressing, iced tea to drink, lemon, no sugar ... and since it's a special occasion, onion rings on the side." The look in her eyes silently challenged Regina to disagree.
Dark brows arched high, then finally Regina nodded. "Sounds about right."
And speaking of every eye, only this time it was every eye in the place. Well, except some at the table, because Snow was back to focusing on Charming, petting his back and whispering in his ear.
Ruby just smirked. Regina Mills had never ordered an onion ring in her life, something she was confident Emma knew perfectly well, given she'd gotten the rest of the order right. She sniffed the air, quickly sorting through the normal diner smells to find the human odors — flesh and sweat and lovely, lovely pheromones — twisting and writhing under the more boring scents of food and cleaning solution. The smirk merged into a knowing grin.
"For cryin' out loud, can't ya get an order in under ten minutes?" Granny's voice rose above the background noise of the crowd sounding unusually cranky.
Sighing softly, Ruby swung her head toward her long-time friends and wiped away the grin in favor of a professional smile. Things in the kitchen had been rougher than usual tonight. Not the time for antagonizing her grandmother. "So what can I get you two?"
"The usual," Snow answered, her focus still on her moping husband.
"Okay, that's two chicken clubs on white, one plain fry to split, and two cream sodas." Ruby rolled her eyes at the sheer blandness of it, but the sound of Granny clearing her throat in the background put a hold on any teasing. "I'll just get these orders going," she said quickly and with a sly wink at Emma, bounced off toward the kitchen.
She had to dart around Henry who was returning from the back room dragging a heavy, chair that probably hadn't seen the light of day in years. It looked to be made more of grime than wood. "Finally found something in the storeroom," he called out as he got it closer to the family booth.
Regina eyed the thing, noting the layers of ground-in dust, and dry rot. "Ahm, maybe you should clean that up ... a bit..." she suggested at last.
Emma wasn't Regina. Normally she didn't worry much about a little dust, but... Yeah, the grease and dirt were a bit much even for her. "Umm ... yeah, needs cleaning." Though privately, she doubted anything short of a flame thrower was going to do much good.
"Ruby'll have something." Grinning, he disappeared again.
"Think there'll be anything left if he gets all the dirt off?" Regina mused aloud.
Everyone laughed, even Snow White, though her chuckle was a bit strangled sounding.
Then they all fell into uncomfortable silence.
"So ... uh ... news?" Snow exhaled at last, cautiously approaching the giant pink elephant larking about the room.
Leaning forward, elbows braced on the tabletop, Emma peered down at her linked hands for a moment. She heard the soft background murmur of the crowd, and the distant tinkle of the front bell, but the sounds barely registered. She was much too focused on figuring out what to say. "Here's the thing— " she began carefully, warmed by the hand that slid under her hair to massage her neck lightly.
"Oh, god," David whispered before she could get any farther, the sound whimpery and scared as he let his head fall forward until it thudded gently against the table.
Emma's face fell. She wanted to get rid of Hook, not break her parents' hearts.
Regina meanwhile, was offended. Maybe she wasn't the ideal, but really, her fictional relationship with Emma should hardly be cause for the prince to break down moaning and weeping like a particularly depressed banshee. She was just drawing breath to castigate him for acting like a two year-old when a new voice suddenly roared across the air.
"Szhwan ... Szhwa–aan!"
Hook. And by the sound of it, none too sober either. Crap. Emma pinched the bridge of her nose in an effort to stave off a sudden headache.
He appeared beside the table before any of them could formulate a strategy — or at least before they could formulate a legally allowed strategy because Regina had plenty of time to debate a fireball.
Or ten.
Purely for disinfectant purposes, of course, she assured herself.
Weaving gently, Hook grabbed for the back of the chair to steady himself and grinned broadly at the table. "Your True Love izh here, Szhwan," he proclaimed, then flipped the chair around and swung himself into it, legs straddling the back. A cloud of ancient dust kicked up from decaying cushions and rose up around him as he sank down. Hook showed no sign of noticing, simply rested his chin on his folded forearms and gave them his best 'adorable' look. "So we plannin' the weddin'?" He grinned. "Cuzh, I know yer eager to make me yer own."
Charming lifted his head from the table, peered at Hook for the briefest moment, then let his forehead thud back into the tabletop in a slow rhythm that matched up with his repeatedly muttered, "No."
Regina's head tipped to one side as she noted the performance. Well, that was ... different.
Then Emma yelped.
And Regina swung her head back around, Charming's odd behavior forgotten.
Because Hook had his remaining hand on Emma's—
And...
"Paws off!" the perhaps-not-entirely-former Evil Queen roared as she pushed upright and glared at the pirate with the sort of look that had quelled entire armies once upon a time.
Hook grinned a bleary grin. "Don' be jealouzh, queenie. I know yer hopelezhly in luv w'me, but y'll getcher chansh."
Emma felt Regina surge and twisted. "Regina, no," she hissed and laid a restraining hand on the other woman's chest.
Hook just couldn't resist. "Cuzh there'zh plen'y o' Hooky-poo to go 'round."
A tiny, incoherent sound of purest rage bubbled up from Regina's throat, but she didn't move. "Oh, trust me, there will be plenty of Hooky-poo around," she snarled. "In itty-bitty pieces ... from one end of this room to the other."
Either too drunk or too overconfident to be terrified, Hook laughed at the threat. "Regzhie, Regzhie, Regzhie," he lectured. "Qui' preten'n y'aren' mad fer me ... speszhally when w'both know how y'love m'titty twiszhters." He held up his hand, rolling his thumb and forefinger and leered.
Tension rippled through Regina and her hands clenched into claws.
Emma's jaw dropped. So that was it. It was a wonder he had any recognizable body parts left. Regina really had changed.
Meanwhile, if Emma thought Regina's previous sound had been pure rage, it abruptly occurred to her that she hadn't known what rage sounded like.
Not until that exact moment when a strange, inhuman snarl vibrated the air around the brunette.
"Oh ... dear." Mary Margaret finally found her voice, though not much of it.
David's thumping stopped and he looked up.
Meanwhile, Henry returned, cleaning fluid and a couple of paper towels in hand. After one quick look, he was more than smart enough to freeze and make no sudden moves.
Shaking off her paralysis, Emma laid her other hand on the brunette's shoulder as she half rose. "You can't kill him," she insisted.
She got a mad smile in return. "Trust me, Emma, I can kill him," Regina assured her.
"Okay, you can," Emma allowed. "But you shouldn't. Remember, Henry, morals, fresh starts ... that sort of thing." She nodded toward the pirate. "He's not worth it."
Dark eyes narrowed dangerously, but Regina still didn't move. "But ... he ... and—" she ground out through clenched teeth.
"No," Emma said firmly as she held Regina's gaze. "Killing bad."
Another soft growl, but still no attack.
Then Hook decided to make up his own little sea chanty. "Twist'd thozhe nipsh on Regina Millszh' chesht, yo-ho-ho, 'n' a bottla rum. Szhe lovesh m'hook cuzh ish da besht, yo-ho-ho 'n' a bottla rum..." he sang in the background.
And that was all she wrote.
"No!" Emma shouted and tried for a grab, but Regina ghosted right through her in a moving wave of purple smoke, reappearing outside the booth, one hand up. A wave of energy pulsed out from her palm, sending Hook's chair skimming back several feet.
He grinned like a maniac on the Matterhorn ride in Disneyland.
Lips drawn back from her clenched teeth in a feral snarl, Regina opened her hand out, fingers spread wide as she began to draw energy for another blast.
"Dammit, NO!" Emma pushed free of the booth. Her first thought was to rush Regina and physically subdue her, but thankfully, sanity prevailed. She skidded into place beside and ever so slightly in front of the brunette, positioned where she could catch her eyes, but wasn't in the line of fire.
In other news, half the population of the diner hit the floor, while the other half sat frozen in place, stunned into immobility by sheer terror.
The pirate preened in the face of the attention. One eyebrow quirked upward.
Emma felt her stomach sink. Clearly he was too drunk or stupid to have any survival instinct whatsoever, because Regina was going to spread him across the floor and walls like cheap jelly. "Regina, you've gained so much ground. Don't lose it now," she said very softly, her tone coaxing as she reached out and laid a hand lightly over Regina's forearm, well aware of the energy crackling around the other woman. "You know he's not worth it."
"Ah, Emma," he chastised. "Y'know I'm szho worth it ... sinzhe y'r hopel'shly in luv w'me."
In general, Emma was easy going, but she had her limits, and a temper that could explode. And she was rapidly cruising toward the point of no return. Okay, so a certain sea chanty may have added fuel to the fire — especially when he started singing it again in the background. Emma found she didn't like the notion of Hook even looking at that portion of Regina's anatomy, much less...
She shuddered in horror and couldn't finish the thought.
"See, Emma," Regina said as she pushed at the hands restraining her from firing. "Really, he deserves this, and we'll all be happier once it's done."
Meanwhile Hook winked and mugged, sang for a bit, then stopped and went back to insisting she was in love with him despite her efforts to prove otherwise while she was trying to keep an enraged witch from rightfully disemboweling him.
Then he started singing. Again. A new tune. "I'm zsho amazhin'. M'hook ish zsho divine, the Shavior luvs m'penizh, d'queenzh titties're all mine..."
And Emma broke.
The timer on her temper went off.
Boom.
"No more," she growled. She shoved Regina's hands down, barely noticing the queen's startled look as she pivoted toward Hook and stormed forward to grab for his collar and haul him out of the chair. "You think I'm in love?" she snarled right in his face. "With you?" She laughed, the sound sharp and brittle. "Is that really what you think?" she demanded. "When I'm ducking and dodging and bobbing and weaving and literally climbing out of windows to escape ... and you think that's love?"
His eyebrows shot up and he turned on the puppy-dog eyes as he showed a smile that was all teeth and nodded vigorously.
Boom and boom again.
"Well, it's NOT!" Emma roared and shook him until his teeth rattled and his brains sloshed inside his skull. "LOVE is NOT about wearing someone down until they're too exhausted to keep fighting!"
The smile finally fell away and Hook's features drew into a blank look. "But—" he started to argue.
"NO!" Emma repeated both the roar AND the shaking. "Love isn't tormenting someone until they have sex with you in hopes you'll go away now ... it involves actually giving a damn about them and caring more about what they want than what you want—"
"No, tha' can't be right." Hook's expression remained blank and he started shaking his head back and forth, clearly not getting it.
Emma didn't plan what happened next, she really didn't. It was just that the utter and complete lack of comprehension on his face pushed a plunger wired to a cache of emotional TNT somewhere deep inside her.
It wasn't so much boom as BOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
She flung Hook away, mouth twisted into a pleased snarl as he slammed into the nearby wall. Cocking back a fist, she took a step forward.
And found herself pulled up short from behind.
"Emma, no!" Regina's left arm was wrapped around Emma's upper chest while her right caught the blonde's balled fist.
Emma froze momentarily, intensely aware of encasing arms and the body molded to her back.
"This isn't you," Regina soothed, though she tightened her grip fractionally when Emma would have pushed forward.
"Weren't you just about to kill him?" Emma ground out, her muscles tight, breathing ragged. She wasn't quite trying to throw Regina off, but close to it.
"Well, that is me," Regina pointed out, the faintest trace of humor in her tone.
A soft snort of almost laughter escaped Emma's lips and she relaxed fractionally.
"But not you, Emma." Very gently, Regina tugged the blonde back a step, then guided her around until they were face to face. She brushed a few stray locks of hair off her brow. "Never you."
Then Hook chuckled softly, one eyebrow quirked upward and his mouth tipped up in the faintest of knowing grins. "M'girlzh are szho pretty ... they both luv me y'know—"
Regina felt Emma tense and saw the flicker of rage in her eyes and knew what was coming if she didn't act. She snapped her right hand out and pointed. It only took two fingers.
A bright burst of energy hit Hook's midsection like a glowing fist, driving the air from his lungs and leaving him bent double and wheezing.
Emma would have looked over, but Regina laid light fingers alongside her cheek to stop her. All she said was, "No."
The blonde dragged in a deep breath. "It needs to stop, Regina," Emma whispered raggedly. "It's making me crazy." She was startled by how understanding Regina's smile was, but then, if there was anything she understood, it was how frustration could make a person insane. "I'm just not a skunk ... and I can't be a skunk."
"I know," Regina whispered, still stroking Emma's cheek. She slanted a quick look around them, taking in the avidly watching crowd. "But let me handle it," she whispered as her gaze came back to the blonde.
"But—"
Regina laid the same two fingers over Emma's lips. "Trust me," she said, her tone somewhere between a plea and a command. "He'll get the point. I'll see to it."
A worried frown creased Emma's forehead. "Are you sure, because I'm not sure I can—"
"I promise," Regina insisted seriously, then brushed her fingers along Emma's cheek and her thumb along the line of her lower lip. She peered into green eyes, well aware that everyone was watching.
This was just to put Hook in his place and maybe taunt the Charming's a bit. No other reason, she assured herself as leaned into Emma, intensely aware of how easily they dovetailed together. The slight height difference forced her to arch up just a little to press a soft kiss onto the corner of Emma's mouth, but that only increased the volume of contact and made the whole thing appear more intimate. As she broke the kiss, she held Emma's gaze for a long moment, her tone firm as she repeated, "I promise."
Emma nodded.
"Good girl." Regina pivoted away from Emma, her expression morphing as she moved, so that she wore a feral smile by the time she faced Hook. Striding toward the pirate, she deliberately intensified the sway of her hips, summoning something of the old Evil Queen persona.
He was still wheezing and fighting to draw a breath when she crouched down in front of him.
"Silly, silly boy," she drawled slowly, her voice cool and pitched low, but loud enough for most of the diner to hear. "It's time to accept that she doesn't want you, that you were just a very brief, and much regretted, flirtation, that she's with me," she explained, her tone cool, until suddenly it dropped low, taking on the Queen's timbre. "She's mine," Regina added, her expression dark and intense, extra emphasis on the last syllable turning it into a serious claim of ownership. "And I will protect her." On her final words, she made the tiniest gesture with her right hand.
A miniature blast wave hit low and center on the pirate. He paled and his eyes bulged while other things noticeably shrank. He didn't so much fall as topple.
"Understood?" Regina said very softly as she relaxed her hand.
Hook heaved a ragged sigh that ended on a pained whimper, while his hands clutched his groin protectively.
Regina smirked. As if that would even slow her down.
It took the pirate a beat to catch his breath, then his chin bobbed in a rapid nod.
"Good boy." Regina briefly considered patting him on the head like a puppy who'd finally learned not to piddle on the carpet, but opted to continue with a grease free life.
Emma's heart throbbed in her chest as she watched Regina's performance and saw Hook retreat for the first time. Then the queen rose, her movements languid and eerily graceful as she turned and moved back toward Emma. Dear god, the woman had a hip-swaying stripper walk that could make a rock sweat.
Not to mention a look in her eyes that grabbed a person and held on, silently offering every bit of pleasure, sin, and joy possible. As she stared at into their limitless depths, Emma could almost believe the silent promises. "Hook?" she whispered as Regina drew close.
Glancing back, Regina noted the pirate had crawled some distance from where he'd gone down, only to stop. Now he was leering at the blonde again. Clearly that limited attention span was going to be an issue. Now there was a lesson about the dangers of alcohol. Shaking her head in a tutting motion, she pointed a single finger and sent a delicate purple spark flying.
It hit home.
Hook splayed out for a moment, hands over his abused nether regions, then a beat later, he was speed-crawling for the exit.
"Granted, I think he's going to need frequent reminders for a bit," Regina admitted as she watched him go. "But he's getting the idea." Then she turned back to Emma and trailed gentle fingers along the line of her cheekbone on the way to threading them into golden silk threads.
"Regina," Emma breathed, her eyes liquid. "Nobody's ever..." She trailed off, not knowing how to express how good it felt to have someone else take care of her for once. "Thank you," she exhaled after a long moment.
Regina shrugged and maybe even blushed the tiniest bit — though if asked, she would have denied it. "If we're going to be dating, I can hardly let that oaf upset you. Though he does have his uses." She paused for a beat, then offered a wicked grin. "Target practice ... and such a tiny target at that."
Emma chuckled in spite of herself.
"Meanwhile, I think this little scene needs an exclamation point."
It only took the slightest pressure on the back of her neck and Emma was falling into Regina, feeling the shape and press of her as she grabbed for lapels of the smaller woman's jacket to steady herself. She drew a breath to say something, but—
Gentle fingers laid over Emma's lips. "Shhh," Regina soothed, suddenly not wanting any reminders that this was just a bit of playacting. It felt too good to be the hero for once and for reasons she didn't care to analyze too closely, it also felt right to be here like this with Emma Swan. Regina pushed up on her toes, a tiny shiver sliding over her as she felt the shape of firm curves molded to the length of her torso. And then she found Emma's mouth with her own. Barely making contact, she pressed a light kiss onto soft lips. Just as the first kiss had been, it was gentle, innocent, even chaste.
But this time, she didn't stop there. Instead, the kiss lengthened and melded into another.
She pressed deeper, mouth spreading and slanting against Emma's, a tiny purr vibrating her throat as she felt a strong hand find purchase at the small of her back.
This kiss was firmer, more demanding, and while it was still innocent, chastity was slipping away into the night. Their lips parted for the briefest second, then came together again, the contact unplanned, but irresistible.
Emma's stomach rolled and heat slid through her veins, leaving her wanting to touch and taste and lose herself in warm flesh that teased her with the scents of apple and cinnamon and just a touch of vanilla.
And then reality just had to intrude.
"Wait ... what ... I thought Emma was in love with Hook." David's voice, even more confused sounding than usual, rose above what Emma suddenly realized was a low drone from the crowd. "And why's she kissing Regina?"
"Not sure, but I don't think it's because she's in love with Hook," Snow answered in one of her rare wry moments.
Remembering where they were, Emma jerked out of the kiss and spun toward her parents, though she kept a hand at the small of Regina's back. A quick look confirmed that every eye in the place was on them. A blush crawled over her cheekbones as she swung her head back to meet her mother's unreadable gaze.
"Care to explain?" Snow questioned.
Standing next to his wife, David nodded.
"Umm..." Emma slanted a quick look at Regina, unsure how she felt about the regal way the brunette was eyeing her mother, or the faintly suggestive smile she was wearing. She liked it better when they were kissing. Kissing was safer.
Which so wasn't a thought she'd ever expected to have.
"Well ... see ... the Hook thing? All in his head ... and ... well..." She looked over at Regina, silently pleading for help.
One dark eyebrow quirked high on Regina's forehead, then she decided to take pity on Emma. "What Emma is trying to avoid saying is that she and I are a couple."
Snow's brow drew into a frown. "You're telling me you're involved — romantically — with my daughter?"
"It's an option we're pursuing."
Emma rolled her eyes. Only Regina.
"Is this true?" Snow asked Emma, her tone and expression doubtful, not hostile, but more as though she was expecting some kind of punchline to a joke.
Feeling like she was five and caught with her hand in the cookie jar, Emma nodded. "Yeah ... kinda ... yeah." Then, in a desperate bid to look like she wasn't lying through her teeth, she smiled much too broadly and slung an arm across Regina's shoulders, hugging her close on one side. Feeling the other woman stiffen, she turned a pleading look her way.
Dark eyes rolled, but amazingly enough, Regina slipped an arm around Emma's waist and relaxed into the hug. Well, sorta relaxed. Anyway, it wasn't quite the stiffest, most awkward hug in the history of hugs. Really, it didn't come in any higher than fourteenth, ninth at the highest, and certainly no better than fifth.
The gesture set off a sudden burst of total and utter silence as the occupants of the diner stared on in shock. Regina wasn't exactly known as a big hugger, particularly when it came to the Savior. Murder? Sure, but hugging? Not really, no. As a result, the locals were both shocked and edgy, fully expecting some sort of trick, an explosion, something with fire and brimstone and whatever else Regina Mills could cook up and hurl in a heartbeat.
In that heavy, clinging silence that was starting to make Emma sweat, came something unexpected.
"So, wait," David spoke up, sounding confused. "Emma's with Regina ... not Hook?"
Prince Charming's blade had ever been sharp. His wit, not so much.
Regina, meanwhile, finally remembered her original purpose for agreeing to the charade — namely the utter humiliation and embarrassment of Snow White and Prince Charming — and so offered a smile that was all things wicked, sexual, and hungry. It was meant to melt anyone and anything within range, and she'd used it enough times to know just how effective it could be.
"Kinda ... yeah..." Emma admitted, wondering at her own sanity as she glanced over and saw Regina smile that smile. She was under no illusions about what it was meant to do — namely drive the knife deep, then give it a healthy, energetic twist, possibly several of them. Actually, it was probably meant to make it spin like a top until it drilled through to China.
Regina might have changed, but not that much.
Regina's smile got a little more wicked if such a thing was possible, and Emma could almost hear the thoughts and plans running through her head. She probably had a huge catalog of sarcastic remarks ready to go at a moment's notice because Regina was all about planning to handle any situation.
"Oh, thank god." David heaved a relieved sigh and let his head fall forward to rest on his wife's shoulder, while Snow absently reached up and petted his hair.
"There, there," she murmured. "It's going to be all right now."
Now? All right? Now?
Okay, so there might be a situation or two Regina wasn't prepared for. Uncertain she'd heard right, she banged the side of her head against her palm like she had swimmer's ear, then shook her head and repeated the motion on the other side.
"See," Mary Margaret told her husband with a loose gesture toward her daughter and former stepmother. "I told you Emma would come to her senses."
"Wh-what?" Regina managed to stammer, still not convinced she was hearing right. No way in hell was she the coming-to-her-senses option. She was the she's-evil, no-way-in-hell, we're-locking-you-in-a-nunnery, and you're-never-having-sex-again-if-she's-your-choice option.
But ... indeed ... Snow and Charming both appeared ... pleased.
She glared at Emma suspiciously. "Did you put a spell on them, because your magic can get a little squirrelly." She swung her gaze back to Snow and Charming. "And your parents are definitely acting a little squirrelly." It was a testament to how rattled Regina was that she actually used the word, 'squirrelly.' Twice.
Meanwhile, if Snow noticed Regina's confusion, she didn't let on. Instead she moved to stand in front of her former stepmother, laying a hand on her arm as she offered an encouraging smile. "I know things have been difficult between us, but I think you and Emma are so good for each other ... and it makes so much sense that you're building a family together. It's like everything has come full circle and I hope you believe me when I say how happy I am about this."
The former queen just stared.
Despite her shock, Emma snorted out a tiny laugh. Only Regina Mills could react so negatively to a lack of disapproval.
"We're very happy," David agreed with his wife while Emma was still musing on things. "So, so very happy," he added. "Just really happy. I mean, you have no idea how very happy."
Emma noticed along about the third happy. "Ummm ... Dad?"
Her father turned a wide-eyed look her way. "Hook kept talking about how he's your True Love and you adore and worship him ... and ... he sounded so confident..."
"Okay," Emma exhaled hesitantly. She made a small, swirling gesture with one hand. "So he was wrong, but that doesn't explain all the ... happys."
Charming leaned forward and lowered his voice. "He looks at me funny, Emma," he confided, his voice threatening to crack as he continued. "And he-he follows me around ... and talks about how much he likes you ... and how much he likes me ... and he thinks the three of us should spend more time together ... and I just..." David grabbed Emma's lapels and pulled her forward until they were nose to nose. "I'm a fairytale character, Emma. I don't wanna know what he means by that ... and I'm afraid he's gonna tell me anyway."
Through it all, Snow massaged his neck and back and whispered soothing nonsense while Regina froze, utterly gobsmacked.
This had not been her plan. At. All.
This was supposed to be an explosion of whining and tears and the idiots being idiots and Emma being on her side for once, and instead...
Instead she soon found herself soothing the two idiots and assuring them that, indeed, she, not Hook, was the news Emma had planned to announce as well as possibly her True Love, and then being gently scooted back into the booth and eating salad and onion rings and listening to the two idiots being distressingly happy that she and their daughter were a thing while Emma leaned back and rested an arm on the booth behind her and Henry took up residence in a much cleaner chair offered by someone from the crowd.
It was all so sweet and homey and utterly banal that Regina barely contained the urge to scream.
And the worst part, the very, absolutely worst damn part?
Snow was so over the moon and utterly accepting that she was already making suggestions for a politically correct, both-brides-in-white, werewolf-catered wedding, while Charming just nodded and looked relieved and encouraging and offered to walk them both down the aisle.
Even Emma looked a little shell shocked at that point.
Henry, meanwhile was watching the whole thing, his head tipped to one side, as though he was studying the bizarre behavior of the natives of some heretofore undiscovered tribe. Regina half expected him to take out a notebook and start jotting things down for his PhD dissertation.
The word nightmare barely began to describe it all.
Then finally, the whole neverending dinner was almost over, and they were on the verge of making their escape when Snow slowed them down with a nudge and a wink as she offered to take Henry for the night to give them some alone time.
"No," Regina heard herself yelp, her voice hitting a high note she hadn't managed since age ten. "I mean, we have plans," she added in an effort to correct the gaffe, then added more in the face of Snow's hopeful face. "Family plans, that is ... to spend time together ... the three of us."
"Yeah," Emma agreed. She slung an arm around Henry's shoulders, pulling him into the space between them. "The three of us."
"Uh-huh," Henry confirmed, the only one of the three to sound remotely normal. "Yeah, family movie night," he explained cheerfully.
"That sounds wonderful, Henry," Snow said in a tone that suggested it wasn't really. She worried her lower lip between her teeth. "I just..." She paused, her gaze swinging back and forth between Emma and Regina. "Well, I hope you two are careful to make time for yourselves. It's too easy when you're parents to forget to work on your own relationship and ... well ... you know..."
Regina suddenly related to Charming's whimpered comments about being told things he really didn't want to hear because... No ... just... No. She silently willed her former stepdaughter to stop right there. Right. There. And not go on because... No ... just... No.
Snow caught Emma's right hand and Regina's left, bringing them together so they overlaid one another, a beatific smile on her face as she uttered the very last words her daughter or former stepmother ever wanted to hear. Ever. "Well ... well ... intimacy is important in a relationship, and—"
Regina waved her free hand and purple smoke boiled and in an instant, the family threesome was gone.
Snow White smiled proudly. "Hopefully they're taking my advice to heart." Then she peered at her husband. "Do you think Granny would bake the cake for the wedding?"
TBC