Not a great chapter but I've got to pass time somehow.

It was raining as she stepped out of the cab. It was about ten to eight and it had taken her an age to get to her therapists office. It had only been a few days since Olivia had left and she had been truly miserable, she too had taken time off work. Elliot had tried to call her about cases but she didn't reply, someone else can deal with it for a change.

She stepped inside the office and shook the water from her umbrella. She didn't like coming here but sometimes it was nesseccary. Special victims dealt with some pretty awful crimes, if you didn't talk to anyone about it you'd go crazy.

She didn't have to wait long before she was called in. The doctor was her usual calm and quiet self and Alex thought the urge to talk as quietly as her. She sat down awkwardly and waited whilst the doctor fetched them both a glass of water.

"What would you like to talk about Alex?", that was a pretty difficult question to answer. She forgot how much she hated talking about herself. She decided it would be best to start from the beginning.

"I have been having some trouble dealing with things in my personal life recently", this was a subject she had never approached in these meetings; most of the time she just talked about cases and how they made her feel.

"What aspects of your personal life", the doctor sat there with her hands clutched in her lap listening tentatively.

"A detective I work with revealed something to me. Well, she told me she loved me", Alex felt awkward saying it out loud; she felt stupid.

"How did you feel about this?"

"We'll at first I was shocked but I quickly realised that I felt the same way, I told her and I thought that was the start of something you know?", Alex could feel herself getting emotional but she quickly buried it down.

"What has happened since then?", Alex nearly scoffed out loud at this. A lot had happened.

"She felt responsible for the death of a victim and shut me out. She left two days ago and didn't tell me where she was going. Before she left she made it seem like she regretted telling me how she felt", the memory of the their last conversation was still fresh in her mind.

"Perhaps she needed sometime to deal with things"

"I'm not sure. She was different. I had never seen her like this before", Alex shook her head as she spoke. It was true, Olivia would not have spoke to her like that if she was in her right mind. "I love her for gods sake, why won't she let help her?", Alex didn't mean to shout but anger got the better of her.

Her therapist was quiet now, giving Alex time to think. when she finally spoke she had nothing of any real comfort to say, "different people need to deal with things in different ways, give her time to herself and maybe she'll come back to you", Alex knew she wasn't getting anywhere with this and it was only making her more worked up.

"I don't think this is helping. It's too soon to be talking about all this anyway. I have to go to work", she stood up her mind made. This wasn't going to resolve itself over night or in an hour chatting to a stranger. She had an important job to do and she wasn't going to run away from it.

She turned to leave quietly thanking the doctor for her time. She went for the door but the therapist stopped her before she could exit.

"Alex, try to look at things from both sides. She may have said things that hurt you but people do when they themselves are hurting", Alex knew she was right. She would give it time and see how everything panned out.

That night after a usual long day at work, Alex drank too much whiskey and pulled her phone from her pocket. Before she dialled she had a thought and tried a trick she learnt from a past boyfriend. She keyed in the number manually with a new prefix, hopefully this would prevent her identity being revealed before someone answered. She stared at the number for a long time willing herself to press the call button. She just wanted to hear Olivia's voice and know she was okay.

It took her twenty minutes and three more drinks to find the courage. She pressed the phone to her ear and part of her willed it not to be answered. Several beats went by before a connection was made, her plan had worked.

"Hello?", Olivia sounded quiet and emotionless; there was no background noise to give her location away. Alex found herself unable to speak, paralysed by fear and anger.

"Hello?", Alex desperately wanted to answer but she couldn't find the words.

"Alex?", this got her attention; maybe her plan wasn't so fool proof after all. She was going to just hang up but now that would be difficult. Alex still didn't speak, waiting to hear what Olivia said.

"Alex, I told you I needed space. Just be patient", this angered Alex; it felt like Olivia was blowing her off. She just wanted to be there for her, Alex didn't have any expectations of a relationship; not straight away anyway. She was just about to apologise when she heard a noise in the background.

A distinctly female voice had asked Olivia a question, she had quickly been sshed but Olivia wasn't quite fast enough. Alex had something to say now and interrupted Olivia, who had begun to speak.

"Don't worry Liv, I won't be calling this number again", she hung up straight away and threw the phone down on the coffee table. Her head fell back onto the sofa, she wasn't a quitter but she was done with this and done with her.

And the worst thing was if Olivia had called her back and asked her to forgive her and to come and see her, she would have in a heartbeat; that wasn't the kind of woman Alex was. Olivia had changed but so had Alex, and she hated Olivia for being the cause of that. Maybe she had no right to feel betrayed like this but in her drink induced haze she was going to feel however she damn well pleased.

please review:)

who wants to know where Olivia has gone? :) any ideas?