AN: This is my first published FF so please tell me what I can do to improve. I would love any feedback that you could provide. Thanks so much for the reviews so far and for reading!
NOTE: I do not own any of these characters or claim to. All that credit goes to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.
If you have any suggestions or want to be a beta, please contact me.
Enjoy!
Staring at the clock from across the room, I decide that it couldn't possibly move any slower. In fact, I swear that when I looked a few moments ago, the clock was further ahead than it is now. I guess I should worry less about the time and more about my father. My mother has been in their room for a couple of hours but my father is still awake talking to people in the Capitol and likely will be for hours to come. I need to meet Gale in 20 minutes and I have to walk right by his study to leave the house. It will probably be fine, though, since he thinks I went to bed more than an hour ago.
Still, the butterflies in my stomach feel more like a swarm of tracker jackers and I feel sick. I know I'm working myself up over what will probably turn out to be nothing. Sure, he asked me to meet him after town curfew but that doesn't really mean anything. Maybe he just wants to talk to me about what is going on without all of the people around to overhear us. Then again, he's never said anything super private that others would take as gossip so that doesn't even make sense. I just need to keep telling myself that it is not a date. I need to keep expectations low so that the only thing that could disappoint me would be if he stood me up. What if he did, though? No. I need to stop. He's going to show up and we're just going to talk about whatever it is that friends talk about.
Peeking over at the clock I see that it is 10:54, which is just long enough to get to the oak tree a minute or two after 11. Might as well play it cool so he doesn't think I'm too eager. I realize how stupid this sounds as I slowly open my door. The house is dark except my father's lamp light that is shining through the crack in his door. I know I have to sneak by slowly and avoid the squeaky board outside his office, the one that usually trips me up when I'm trying to be quiet. I tiptoe by, hearing my father's voice talking to someone on a video or speaker chat. I can't even stop myself from listening when I pause just outside the doorway, waiting to see what this call is about. Typically I wouldn't do this but I'm feeling brave and I'm hoping that I'll hear something about Katniss and Peeta.
"They really liked it that much? I must thank Cinna again. I can't believe the edge he's given them already. You said they're doing well in the training center, right?" My father asks the person on the line. I can't even help but smile. The idea of any success gives me a hope that grows within me and actually makes me think I can see one of them again.
It only takes me a moment to identify the voice on the other end, although it's usually much more slurred when I hear it. "Yes, yes. We actually have a couple of fighters this year, Harland. If things go according to plan, the District will be a better place for a year."
"What exactly is the plan Haymitch?" He asks next, sighing with a bit of relief and nervousness. Who knows what will come out of Haymitch's mouth next. The man is about as predictable and subtle as a hurricane.
"Well, I don't really have it completely worked out but I've got a good plan in the making right now."
"You really should share it with me. I may have some insight. I do know these kids fairly well."
"I forget that your daughter is the same age," Haymitch says and then stops. I'm not sure if he realized he shouldn't go on with that sentence or just couldn't figure out what to say. Maybe he even went back in his mind to being in the Games with my aunt, who people tell me I look like. His avoiding my gaze in the past may not just be his aversion to human beings in general. After a bit of uncomfortable silence I remember I have somewhere to be and should probably get going so that Gale doesn't think I stood him up. I'm just about to take another step forward when Haymitch begins to speak again. "Anyways, my plan is, and this is still in the rough stages, to present Peeta and Katniss as a team. They work well together and I think they can go far if they stick together. After all, it kept me alive longer to stick with Maysilee."
"True but, just like then, only one of them is going to come home. Are you prepared to make the choice of who to give your full support to if they make it deep in the Games?" My father really is asking tough questions. I don't think even sober Haymitch could answer that easily.
"Like I said, it's still a rough plan. I'll tell you more as I figure out more. Until then, there is another day of training tomorrow and I'd like to try to keep at least one of these kids alive so I'm going to try to sleep tonight. It's always harder for me to sleep in the Capitol."
At that I decide it's my time to take my leave, before my father leaves the study. I quickly make it down and out the door, noticing that I stood there for a good ten minutes. I just hope I'm not too late in getting to the tree. For right now, this is too much for me to process without any words of support. I make my way to the infamous tree where I agreed to meet Gale. I see a shadow as I approach and take a deep breath, ready to apologize for being late. Suddenly I see that the shadow is not Gale, it's just a broken branch that hangs, barely attached. I look around and see that he is, once again, nowhere to be seen. It was already close to eleven when I left my house. I swear that if he stands me up again, I will not let it go or be forgiving, I will let him have it. After about what I judge to be five minutes, which feel like forever, I'm just about to go home in a walk of disappointment when I see some movement in the distance.
At first I'm wary. Peacekeepers are crawling everywhere and while the district curfew isn't typically enforced, it would be just my luck as of late to get caught and have an infringement put on my record. It only takes a moment for me to make out that the shape is most certainly Gale and not a Peacekeeper.
"Hey Madge," he says cooly, as if he is right on time, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long."
I wish I could just tell him to stop smiling like that. It really isn't fair to my promise to not let him get to me.
"Well I wish you would have picked a warmer night to meet if you were going to keep me standing out here," I reply with just enough frustration to let him know that it did irritate me. He catches on quickly.
"Oh! I'm sorry about that. I guess I'm just more used to being out in the weather. Here," he says, offering me his leather hunting jacket. It's worn and old but well lined. I can just imagine that it is stuffed with down of the birds he's sold to feed his family. For some reason, this doesn't gross me out but reminds me of how selfless he has been. Suddenly all that irritation fades and I'm just glad we can be here to talk and get to know each other to a degree.
"Anyways, the reason I wanted to come out here is to show you something," he tells me, walking towards the district boundary fence. All of a sudden I think, oh my gosh, he's going to take me outside of the district and that scares me since I've only even touched that fence once before. Even then, that was as a dare in my third year of school and I was scared to death then.
Gale walks over and squats downs, putting his hand into a broken section of the fence that can be lifted.
"Are we going outside?" I can't help myself. I need to know before I go any further.
He laughs in such a way that I'm slightly wounded. "Now calm down. I'm not asking you to go outside and live in the woods. I just wanted to show you the gap in the fence. If something horrible ever happened in the district and you needed to get out, this hole is the best access to the outside." I breathe a deep sigh of relief.
"Well I would like to go out into the woods one day. I just think I am most definitely not ready for it yet. What is it like?"
"Have you ever been out in the apple orchard by yourself?" He asks me, trying to find something that I am familiar with. The orchard is one of the few places in the district where we have our own food. Apples are one of the few things that we can grow successfully here in the hills. Most of the farm ground in so eroded that a few trees are what we are able to get. Harvest time is one of my favorite times of year because my father always buys a bushel and we make cider and pie. I know the rest of the citizens of my district are not quite as fortunate so I won't mention this to Gale.
"Once I went out there right after harvest, when it wasn't guarded. It was eerie, quiet except for the birds."
"The woods are kind of like that, except magnified. If you go deep enough there are no human sounds besides those that you make. When you hold really still, the forrest practically buzzes around you with the birds and the creeks and the animals. You can feel the life surround you, moving and flowing from each creature and plant. Sometimes I wish I could just stay out there forever, soaking it in. Then you have to kill an animal or forage some plants and just like that, you've taken something that you need to survive that doesn't belong to you. It doesn't stop me, since my family needs it to live, but it makes me leave. It makes me go back to the district and these human noises that clutter my mind and make me just want to leave again."
I don't even have words to reply to this description. I feel a stirring within me and I don't know if it is caused by Gale's words or Gale himself. I think he knows that I can't possibly return with anything quite as beautiful so he speaks up.
"Maybe one day I'll take you to see it, when you're ready and if you want to, of course. That's what I wanted you to see anyways. Maybe tomorrow we can meet at the Hob and talk about what else we can do to help Katniss."
"And Peeta. Don't forget him," I say quickly.
"Yeah, him too," he says cautiously.
"Um I guess that's okay. You really need to leave now?" I ask slowly, hoping he will find some meaning in my words.
Either he doesn't or he ignores them. "Yeah I do. I'll see you tomorrow," he says and turns to leave.
Seriously? That's all he wanted? I snuck out here at eleven at night for him to show me a hole in the fence that might come in handy just in case something terrible happens. I made the mistake of letting my hopes rise high, only for them to be dashed to pieces by a fence under a tree. Sure, he could have stood me up again but we barely even talked. I got one good thing out of him but that was about it. I turn and start to walk away when I remember the conversation I overheard between my father and Haymitch.
I turn and run back towards him. "Wait! I totally forgot. I have some really great news!"
"What is it?" He asks, looking confused as to why I waited so long to say anything.
"The Capitol loves Katniss and Peeta. They went absolutely nuts over the fire costumes and Haymitch says he has a plan in the works that should get one of them out alive."
He grins and then unable to help himself, he picks me up in a hug and the smile on my face must look ridiculous. "Oh that is great Catnip," he says and then stops and puts me down, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I'm going to have to come up with a nickname for you." He stares at me a bit too long and I speak to break the silence.
"Oh it's okay. There's not really anything to play on the name Madge with," I tell him.
"I'll think of something," he says, winking. The guy is so hot and cold I don't even come close to understanding what is going on in his mind. "Did Katniss ever tell you why I gave her that nickname?"
"No, I've just heard you call her that before." I lean against the tree and we spend the next two hours there. He's telling me story after story about him and Katniss. It's nice to hear this other side of my best friend but I have to admit, it makes me realize something. Gale couldn't give me more than twenty minutes earlier but now we stand, talking and laughing about her for hours. All of a sudden it is all so clear. Peeta isn't he only one that hasn't told Katniss that he loves her. Now that I'm thinking about it, Gale is so clearly in love with her. Still it might not even be apparent to him at this moment. I had always thought that it was Katniss that didn't realize that she loved Gale while he didn't reciprocate. I realize not that it might be the other way around.
I can't help the bitterness that starts crawling up in my center and is starting to infect me. Growing up with Peeta, I had always thought he was cute. Since we were kids, though, he has always been in love with Katniss. Now I start to think I might be able to have something with Gale and I realize he's in love with her too.
I'm beginning to wish I had never brought her up and am thinking of the bad luck that I have in love when suddenly I'm hit in the face with another emotion. Guilt. Crushing, crippling guilt. I'm being selfish again and not thinking of how awful Katniss and Peeta must be feeling. I'm looking at my feet when Gale senses the change in my emotion. I fake a yawn to make myself look tired and Gale believes it, or at least pretends to.
"Wow, I didn't even notice how long I had been talking. I should let you get home. Instead of meeting at the Hob tomorrow, why don't we make it the night after, when they're announcing the training scores? I forgot that it's going to take me a lot longer to get the food and do the trading with Katniss."
"Alright that sounds good to me. If I don't see you around school before then, I will see you Saturday night," I say, smiling to cover over my guilt and the tinge of bitterness still left inside me. The night can't be called a complete loss is what occupies my mind as I walk back to my house. As I approach it, I remember that I'm still wearing Gale's jacket. I'll have to remember to give it back to him Saturday night. For now I just want to get inside and try to actually sleep so I'm not one of the walking dead tomorrow. Suddenly I see a light on in my parent's room and I duck and try to hide before I realize there is literally nothing to hide behind. I am literally just crouching on the ground in the grass of our yard. I look up and see my mother staring down in my direction. She doesn't look angry but I know I'm going to have to talk to her about it eventually. It doesn't help that I'm wearing Gale's jacket and coming into the house at close to two in the morning.
Finally inside and in my bed, I come to terms with the fact that Gale loves Katniss. It's not something that is going to stop me from being his partner in this but it will change the way I act. I'll be there for him as I expect him to be there for me but I will only hope to have a new friend by the end of this. Nothing more or less. As my mind wanders, I slowly find it to be morning and am grateful to have actually had a full night's sleep.
The next day passes uneventfully. Training time is the one thing we're not shown so most people, at least in District 12, don't watch the programing since they're just talking about things that won't matter.
Finally it's the third day of training, the day where each tribute will be judged and scored. The numbers, though based mostly on this one day, are extremely important. They persuade sponsors and are taking into account when considering how long a tribute with last in the games, after the bloodbath at the Cornucopia of course. I've just arrived home from school and am headed up to my room to do some homework when I hear my father get a call. After hearing such valuable information last time, I'm not passing up my chance to eavesdrop.
This time, however, my father has the door all the way closed so I only hear some words and can't make out who it is. What I do know is that whoever is on the other line is absolutely furious. I make out the words, "outrage, disrespectful, horrifying, and disgusting," when my father lowers the volume and I give up. I have no idea what that is about but I have a feeling I might get a hint later when they reveal the scores this evening.