Chapter 8

The car ride back to Burbank was still somewhat tense even though Sarah and Ellie had made up in a way. Chuck was still confused about it but whatever girls need to tell themselves. Now it was tense because of Casey.

Sarah was upset still, well, more royally pissed off then upset that he had gone behind her back and talked to General Beckman about moving Chuck without talking to her first. Chuck remained laying on the couch most of the evening while the girls lounged in front of it talking up a storm. He only understood half of it, dozing off here and there during their conversation.

Once Casey came back in conversation stopped immediately as they both glared at him, but he showed no remorse. Chuck understood, he wasn't out to get him or end the assignment or anything. In his own way he cared about Chuck and that made Chuck feel warm and fuzzy.

However how Casey showed his affection left much to be desired.

By the time Chuck and Ellie came out of the bedroom packed and ready to go the next morning it appeared Casey and Sarah had come to some kind of silent truce, they did have to work together after all.

"Ah, home sweet home." Chuck said as they entered his apartment. Ellie went by him dropping her bags on the couch.

"It's great to be home. I missed Devon." She said, still obviously upset he got called in and couldn't meet them at home. They had planned to go out on a double date with Sarah and Chuck to catch him up on the week away and explain the sudden departure.

"I'm sorry sis. But I'm really glad you came with me." Chuck said sincerely, by the door. Ellie walked over to him and gave him a tight squeeze, not wanting to let go of him.

"It's ok. I'm glad I did too. I'm glad you told me the truth." She pulled back and quickly ruffled his hair before putting it back into place. "I just want you to be happy Chuck. You know that." She said earnestly. Chuck smiled at her and nodded. Out of everyone in the world he believed it the most from her.

"So what are you two's plans for the evening since ours together seems to be postponed. " Ellie asked as she walked around the apartment investigating it for any damage or neglect that might have happened in her absence.

"I thought I'd take a nap. I'm exhausted from this week, and before." Chuck admitted picking up his bag. Ellie looked at him worried but seeing the disappointed look on Sarah's face behind him she decided to change his mind.

"Why don't you go over to Sarah's for a bit and relax a bit. Have some dinner or something. Just because the plans change doesn't mean you have to cancel."

Chuck looked at her gaging her for some kind of agenda but decided that whatever it is he wouldn't figure it out anyways. He turned around to look at Sarah whose expression had changed from hopeful to neutral within a blink.

"You still want me over?" He asked her Sarah took a second to pretend to consider it before nodding, giving him her bright smile. "Alright, let me just put this away."

In no time at all they were in her hotel room and Chuck walked around the room. It was tidy and clean, totally different from the way they had left it. He wondered idly if Sarah let the house keepers in or if some special CIA cleaner came in, but he decided he didn't care enough to bother asking.

"So what do you want to do tonight." He asked her lightly feeling the tension rise again. The last time they were in the room together it wasn't a good time. They didn't fight but he felt betrayed and tired and was ready to give up. He couldn't believe that it's only been a week since that time.

A week since Natalie.

"I think we should talk Chuck." She said as lightly as possible, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Chuck followed suit by sitting in the chair by the window, the same one he had sat in a week ago asking to go home, before he told Ellie the truth.

"What, I mean, what is there to talk about? It's all we've done all week." He laughed lightly, but seeing the serious expression on her face his smile faded. He saw Sarah take a few steadying breath, obviously about to talk about something outside her comfort zone.

"I want to talk about what's been happening to you lately. I mean, more than what you've been talking about before, with Ellie around." She started. Seeing the confusion on his face she continued. "Chuck, you don't need reminding you're the Intersect and very valuable to this country-"

"Apparently not valuable enough if they're willing to use my problems against me and take my rights away." He interrupted her. She stared at him for a long moment.

"Chuck, that's not true." She said trying to defend her agency. Chuck gave a snort of derision.

"A week ago, right here, you confirmed I was right that they would stage my death as a suicide if I needed taken out. They are willing to put me in a bunker, not for my own safety, but for the safety of the Intersect. I'm not valuable at all Sarah. The Intersect is. And the CIA will either hide it away or take it out regardless of what it does to me." He stated firmly. It felt good to say it even though he knew he was insulting her Agency, her life, her only family like figure. But he was tired of hiding away from the truth.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. He could see Sarah struggling with the words she wanted to say. He'd help her out some, never wanting to see her struggle but he had no idea what she was trying to say.

"That's true Chuck. You're right." She admitted much to his surprise. "But I won't let them. I promise. Like I said yesterday I would take you away from all this and run before I let them harm you."

"I trust you with my life Sarah, but it's hard to trust your word." He said faintly. He regretted the words immediately after they came out of his mouth and saw her hurt expression but it was true. She lied to him so many times.

"I don't know what to do to earn your trust Chuck." She said looking at the ground.

"Tell me the truth. Stop lying to me. "

"Is that why, is that the reason for Natalie? Because you didn't trust me?" She asked finally looking at him. He didn't know what to say. On one hand he was outraged that she would think so little of him that he would act in a way that was petty and purposely hurtful towards her. On the other, she was sort of right. He loved her so much and doesn't have a chance.

"I don't know." He said honestly. Again the room fell in to silence. Chuck sat back in the chair and raised a leg up to his side and hugged it tightly. He wasn't sure if he wanted to deal with this now. But remembering what he told his sister. That he was going to help her, help Sarah.

"Why didn't you come talk to me Chuck. Before all this happened. I knew you were, well depressed but I didn't want to pressure you more." Anger flared lightly in his heart at that.

"How can I talk to you when you're part of the problem." He told her honestly, again she was hurt by his outburst. It took her a few moments to regain her composure.

"I know security with you is very tight Chuck but if it was this serious, you should have talked to one of us regardless. We're intruding on your life I know but we do care and want to help." She said. Chuck laughed again at her cluelessness. He was hoping it was just an act. The truth would hurt him far more.

"It wasn't the security or lack of privacy or the having to work two jobs one without pay. It wasn't the lying or secrets. Though it was all of them but no. The reason I couldn't come to you is because-" He didn't know what to say. It was now or never. "Because I care about you. A lot. More than I probably should but, you just push me away and pull me towards you."

Sarah was silent again at his confession and for a moment he felt that he had gone too far. If he was completely wrong about her feelings it could make everything uncomfortable but he decided to risk it.

"Chuck I…I can't-" She stuttered.

"Just tell me the truth Sarah." He whispered to her. She stood up and walked around the room. "It's ok Sarah, if you don't feel anything for me. I need you to say it. Maybe then I can move on. Get over this." He pressed gently watching her as she paced.

He could see the internal struggle she was having with herself and he desperately wanted to know what she was thinking. Staying silent he held his breath as he waited for the blow she was likely to deal.

"I do care." She said finally. She let out the breath she was holding and the smile she gave him could make the grumpiest of people smile.

"That wasn't so hard was it?" He teased but her smile fell slightly.

"Actually it was, is hard to admit Chuck." She told him sitting back on the bed. Chuck got up and walked over to her sitting next to her.

"It shouldn't be hard to tell someone you care about them." He told her faintly. He reached into her lap and grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers together. She stared at their hands a few minutes before she responded.

"Chuck you've met my father, you know the CIA. Emotions, feelings. They are kept to oneself. They, they're personal." She admitted to him cautiously. But he just gave her a nudge on the shoulder.

"I know you can be a very passionate person. You're always safe to share your feelings with me. Emotions make people, well people and not robots." He told letting his other hand brush through her hair lightly. He could see the Goosebumps it caused on her skin.

"I've never been one for talking or sharing feelings. It…I admit I'm jealous of you, and Ellie, Devon. You all share thoughts and feelings freely, and I feel left out a lot." She admitted to him with a slight hiccup.

Chuck thought for a moment about what she said, surprised by her admittance. Never knowing that she was jealous of how easy it was for the people around her to express their emotions while she was trapped inside herself keeping them secret.

"Well, we'll just have to practice. I believe that you can do anything you set your mind to do." Chuck stared into her eyes inches apart from her as he told her this. She was the most amazing person he knew and he no doubt knew she would overcome this.

To his surprise Sarah closed the gap between them and tenderly placed her lips upon his. He held his breath afraid to breathe as he closed his eyes at the sensation of the kiss raged through his body. He let her take control of the kiss, not wanting to push his boundaries and soon they were falling down on their sides on the bed.

But after a few moments of it, of wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly afraid to let go, he slowly pulled away, placing butterfly kisses as he did. She looked up at him confused and his hands released her.

"We can't do this now." He whispered to her, running his hand over her forehead and down the side of her face. Sarah immediately untangled herself from him and began sitting up but was pulled down by Chuck. She laid next to him trying not to meet his eyes.

Chuck leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before pulling away again.

"I don't mean I don't want to Sarah because believe me I want to. But I don't think it's a great idea right now." He insisted. She finally looked him in the eyes then.

"Why not? You asked me how I feel. I'm telling you." She insisted trying to reach out to him but he sat up then.

"You're showing me Sarah. Which trust me I totally appreciate and I love but we were just talking about communication?" He said to her and she looked down slightly ashamed.

"I understand and you're right Chuck." They sat in silence for a few minutes just holding each other.

"On the plus side I think I know how you feel about me now." He teased.

Life for chuck after that was far from perfect, he had a long ways to go. He spent twice a week in therapy, one day by himself and one day with Ellie. She insisted on being part of it, helping him recover. She wanted them to get back to where they were two years ago before all this happened. She was shocked and appalled and proud of everything he'd done during his time as the Intersect, always knowing her brother was built for something great.

Chuck took his lessons he learned in therapy and once a week he and Sarah would meet in her apartment or on the beach or someplace else private and talk. After months of this he still didn't know much about her life but he was learning. It was difficult for her to give up years of training and years of abuse, something she wasn't aware of.

They bonded the most over their parent's abandonment. Her mother leaving her and with her father and while her father cared for his daughter, she learned that the neglect and what he put her through in those years were considered a form of child abuse, something she obviously hasn't started getting over.

The breakthrough when she acknowledged it was huge and Chuck was there as she cried out years of sorrow and regret over it.

They became closer that night.

Now on the eve of Ellies wedding the intersect had been removed from Chuck's head and he was free to live his life the way he wanted with the girl that he wanted.

The choice was up to Sarah, and he hoped that she chose him.

The End

A/N: I know its an abrupt end, but i'm not feeling this story. I left it the way it is cause my next story while NOT a sequel would fit nicely in here. BTW: I'm interview (AKA Accepting) a Beta. I think its time I get one. Please read and review.