Thanks for the encouraging reviews. My original intention was to move straight into the action at Catherine's flat but then I thought we might all wonder what Harry and Jane had to say to one another.

A Conversation

After Erin's departure Harry and Jane sat in a slightly embarrassed silence, separated physically by a litter strewn table and mentally by the weight of personal history. How exactly did you communicate with someone you'd loved, married, divorced and had a total non relationship with for quarter of century? What did you converse about, the weather, the television, the latest celebrity scandal? Those banal topics were suitable for a casual social occasion or a surprise encounter at a party but in their situation!

"Harry."

He looked at Jane as she cautiously enquired, "Are we here as ourselves or do we have a background story?"

Harry appreciating her acumen replied, "If anyone is shadowing us they'll know who we are. For the benefit of the casual observers we're either a married couple having a quiet coffee or a couple having an illicit affair. You're the one wearing the wedding ring so you can choose."

Jane glanced disdainfully at the gold band circling her ring finger. From her expression anyone observing would have assumed that it was shackle that had unexpectedly materialised on her digit. She considered for a moment before saying, "I'm less experienced than you at having affairs so we'll have to pretend we're married. Besides at our age trying to out do Romeo and Juliet looks vaguely obscene."

Harry groaned wearily, "Agreed" before adding, "and personally I'm a feeling a little too tired to pretend we're Lady Chatterley and Mellors." That one earned him the death glare. His consoling thought was that they at least looked like a long married couple, one whose relationship, judging by the silences that kept intruding, was headed for the rocks. The irony of reviving their disastrous past for an operation when it was his profession that had destroyed their marriage wasn't lost on Harry. Had the same thought occurred to Jane? The chief difference between the present and twenty five years ago was that their genuine breakup had been preceded by ear splitting episodes of screaming and shouting interspersed by the slamming of doors, not heralded via a miserable conversation held in an equally miserable cafe.

The fragrant smell from the toilets chimed in with their depressed mood, not improved by the approach of the mother and young daughter, the latter whinging that she wanted Coke as the door swung shut behind them. The child's pink T shirt was plastered with the words 'So many boys so little time', a slogan so manifestly unsuitable for her age that Harry glanced at Jane and held his breath as he willed her not to comment. Despite the flash of disapproval in Jane's eyes she held her tongue. Mindful of their agreed legend Harry looked at her with what he hoped passed muster as a bored gaze. Given the opportunity to scrutinise her closely he noted the dark circles under her eyes and the tense body. Her exhausted appearance worried him, she couldn't have had much sleep the previous evening, she was obviously worn out, worried and possibly in pain. He wondered just how much physical discomfort she was actually suffering. He could ask but he knew his Jane, she'd dismiss the question as foolish before adding a caustic remark to the effect that his concern was about two decades too late. In a stab at sociability he ventured a suggestion.

"Jane another coffee?"

"Harry I know you'd like to be rid of me but poisoning is a little slow – try shooting me instead. "

Harry, unaware that Jane had interpreted his earlier reference to equipment correctly gave her a surprised look. Jane was becoming a little fed-up with being constantly under estimated. "Well I assume it's a gun in your pocket since deep down I know you're not pleased to see me."

"After last night's blast I'm very pleased you're still alive. I'm not sure I'd want my worst enemy scraped off the road and you've not hit that category, yet." 'Even Elena was left in one piece, just.'

"I'll keep working on it."

After that conversation stopper silence fell once more. Seemingly their legend was not going to be one of a garrulous pairing. Once more it was Harry who sought to kick-start a discussion, avoiding all reference to the current circumstances, whilst trying to hold a facial expression consistent with their pretended status.

"Jane, you can say no but Dimitri would very much like your help. He's having problems with deciphering the dramatic requirements of the Olympiad Shakespeare fest. Particularly as they relate to the security around the Reception later this week. I know you said you weren't going to attend but if you could help him I'd be greatly in your debt."

"No need to lay on with a trowel Harry. If I can I will, after all your team are being very helpful and supportive considering that they don't really know me."

"I think they've rather taken to you. Normally they treat anyone outside the senior team with caution."

Jane knew what was worrying him and thought he had good reason to feel apprehensive. She'd been privy to several conversations the mainstay of which had been friends dissecting the shortcomings of their ex-partners in intimate and forensic detail. Despite their many differences her pride meant that she certainly didn't want Harry bracketing her with women who broadcast their marital misfortunes on a global scale. "Well they clearly respect you and are concerned that I've misjudged you. Erin spent much of the journey here trying to convince me that you're really a cuddly bunny at heart."

Harry's expression was choice. His face displayed total revulsion as he considered the implication. Cuddly! Sir Harry Pearce, supposedly the hard man of Section D, reincarnated by his staff as a Disney character. The humiliation; which one did they favour? The plump bad tempered Donald Duck, he could unfortunately comprehend the resemblance; Mickey Mouse, now the name behind a thousand useless pen pushing schemes, not exactly job affirming was it; or not, please God not, Goofy.

Jane took pity on him as she tried to explain Erin's motive. "I think she was trying to tell me that you're not heartless."

"I doubt you agreed."

"Don't worry I didn't say anything to her I haven't said to you."

Harry closed his eyes briefly as he recalled some of Jane's more vituperative comments. Although richly deserved he'd prefer not to have them revealed to the world at large. That he'd been a dreadful husband and failed father were details enough. When he opened his eyes he was greeted by her very direct stare. Was this ominous?

"Forgive me Jane if I don't find that statement particularly reassuring."

Jane's tone displayed annoyance at his obvious distrust as she insisted, "Really, don't worry. All I said was that you were often away and that we needed you. Unlike you I keep my promises, so keep yours and tell me what you really know about this allegiance altering asset."

Harry's entire body flooded with relief that her words to Erin had been so mild before he responded. "I know with our history you have every reason to disbelieve me but I'm trying to learn from my past mistakes. I promised not to lie but equally I can't tell you what I don't know myself. Garside is, as you rightly said, for sale to anyone in theory. In practice he's probably being employed by either Six or the CIA. The why may depend on whatever or whosoever Catherine's involved with."

"And Erin's suggestion – the CIA must have been pretty peeved. Is it possible that Catherine's being used to get at you?"

He'd rather hoped that suggestion had slipped her memory, he should have known better. Like the French Bourbons Jane forgot nothing: unlike them she learnt quickly and therefore would insist on an acceptable answer. "In this job anything is possible Jane, but the laptop theft does suggest that it is Catherine who's wanted not me. Besides which setting up such an elaborate hoax and grabbing our daughter to wrong foot me would be stupid for several reasons."

"That maybe so, but I also remember you once saying that American Intelligence was your ultimate oxymoron." Harry pondered that statement, he must have made it years ago. He supposed it was vaguely comforting that in a changing world somethings remained constant. He was so absorbed in memory that he nearly missed Jane's next acid laden words. "Mine would be an amicable divorce."

Harry wasn't rising to that particular bait so he just shrugged his reply, "Then we can both rest our cases."

Jane, having made her verbal swipe returned to her more pressing question, "What happens if Garside won't tell you anything?"

"I'm not trying to choke you off but discussing this here really isn't wise." Having glanced swiftly around Harry added, "But trust me for once Jane, Garside will talk – eventually."

The fierce cast on Harry's face as he uttered these words made Jane nervous. Normally she'd fear for Garside. She didn't know exactly what Harry was capable of but she assumed that it wouldn't make the cut for 'Watch with Mother'. She was rapidly beginning to appreciate the ambivalent morality of his world. If the only option to secure their daughter's safety involved questionable actions would she take a principled stand or would she look away while Harry did whatever he deemed necessary to rescue Catherine? Would she even feel guilty if the interrogation turned into torture and Garside was damaged if it saved her, no... their child? Hard on that thought followed another- Harry must have faced these decisions every working day for over thirty years. What precisely had these dilemmas done to him?

She was distracted from these ethical questions by the mother and child escaping from the toilets. Jane coughed as the sudden whiff of released ammonia invaded her nostrils. The school age truant was now broadcasting her demand for sweets to the entire cafe as they wove their way back to their seats.

Casting an unamiable glare at the pair Jane hissed in a low voice that only Harry could hear, "I'd suggest sticky toffee marinated in super glue." Irritation vented she returned to the subject in hand. "Okay Harry I'll follow your lead and keep quiet. And just for the record and to stop you stressing, I rarely discuss our marriage with others, it was bad enough living it without repeating it post divorce for the delectation of emotional voyeurs who'd then make expressions of false sympathy. And I certainly wouldn't confide in Erin, or any other member of your staff."

He had wondered how she and Erin had got along. Erin was definitely not a woman's woman. Harry had noticed that she was inclined to be slightly distant with her own sex, preferring to hang out with Dimitri and Calum. She and Ruth had managed to work together quite well but then who would dislike Ruth? The only spook who'd ever had a spiky relationship with Ruth was Ros but even they had managed to co-operate after Ruth's return from Cyprus. God, how he missed them both; Ruth who still lived with him in every heartbeat, and Ros whose astringent quality, hiding her vulnerability, so closely echoed his own. After her total rejection by Jocelyn Myers, he'd almost become a substitute father to her, she'd needed someone to watch over her, even as she denied it, and given his non-existent contact with Graham and fragile relationship with Catherine he'd needed an outlet to assuage his paternal instincts. His questioning look was intercepted and accurately interpreted by Jane.

"No she's not been unpleasant or patronising. She's taking trouble with me. Obviously doesn't see me as a rival, unlike what did you say she was called ...?"

"Beth." Feeling obliged to defend his Section Chief despite his own views on Erin's action in dismissing Beth from the Grid he added in exculpation, "and I wouldn't say that they were rivals exactly."

"If I understood your expression correctly Erin made the decision without consulting you exactly, so let me guess. Beth was younger or the same age as Erin, very attractive and confident. Plus Dimitri liked her."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"I've met the type before – men never notice it - Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that it's deliberate with Erin, she may be subconsciously seeing off anyone she reckons is a rival. Then again she's obviously not in her current position by virtue being a shrinking violet. I also noticed that she's the only female member of your senior team."

"Actually we did have another and she wasn't seen off by Erin she was head hunted by the Home Secretary." –'I saw her off myself with my face saving report and attempts to keep her safe'

He waited confidently for a reply, Jane, as he knew could argue for England, besides which he was genuinely interested in her opinion. Despite their rowdy disagreements he respected her judgement, except, of course, as regarded himself where she could be positively unreasonable. In the context of their present discussion she was that rarity, an observant outsider with no prior knowledge of personalities and no particular axe to grind. He wasn't disappointed. Jane considered his viewpoint briefly before stating,

"Then I'm betting that she was older than Erin –not obviously glamorous and slightly self effacing. Tell me as Section Chief who does Erin bring to your notice – male, preferably handsome, female preferably plain? Don't answer me, just think about it."

A medieval Harry would have consigned Jane to the village ducking stool. If her tongue hadn't guaranteed her a drenching her intuitive abilities would have had her branded as a witch. Twenty first century Harry neither had nor required that option as he considered her theory before saying, "With recent events I've not really had a chance to notice but Erin isn't a bitch Jane."

"I didn't say she was. I just think that because she's so attractive she automatically expects admiration from the trouser wearing half of the population. If she has women friends they'll be functioning as either acolytes or background wallpaper. But enlighten me, are Dimitri and Erin an item? I rather got the impression that she's quite keen."

"I really don't know, but they are close. Believe it or not I don't interfere with the private lives of my staff unless I think security is threatened."

"I believe you, after all your own when you were on their level didn't bear much examination. I was surprised though to find out that she has a daughter."

Harry sighed, his affairs and disconnection from his family, the permanent never ending conversational loop. "You of all people should know that it is possible for spies to have children Jane."

"Yes but given how much trouble you went too keep us safe I'm just a little surprised at you employing a single parent, as un PC as that may sound."

Harry was astounded by her belated acknowledgment of his efforts to shield his family from harm. Jane had never admitted to this in any of their frequent shouting matches. He'd always assumed that she'd misjudged his motives in that respect. However he had no time to consider the implications of her confession, he had to answer the latter part of her statement, which meant treading perilously near to territory he didn't want to explain.

"Erin was appointed when I had a period off the Grid and she is excellent at her job. I will admit though that it worries me at times. I had a couple who worked for me a few years ago. They were both killed leaving a young son. Telling a nine year old his father was dead was one of the worst things I've ever had to do." 'having to leave Ruth' s body lying on the ground while I ... no I daren't even think about that...except I do - every day.'

The pain on Harry's face as he uttered these words was naked. Jane remained silent as she recalled Catherine's halting descriptions of Harry's agony when he'd fought to get her the life saving treatment she needed, of the trouble he'd taken behind their son's back to get him into Rehab. Whatever his job had done to Harry somewhere, buried beneath the uncompromising persona he displayed to the world, the remnants of the man she thought she'd married lingered, concealed but still, thanks heavens in existence. She decided to move on saying softly,

"Harry, I didn't need Erin to tell me that you're not made of granite. I remember your face when you held Catherine and then Graham for the first time. That was one of the things I could never understand..."

Enough was enough, Harry interrupted with an indignant, "What! That I wanted our children and loved them both from first sight? I know I was and am a lousy father but..."

This time it was Jane's turn to break angrily across a speech, "No. I think I always understood that, whatever I may have yelled at you. But work forced you to break so many promises to them both, plus you were so keen for them to do well you came over as a remote, demanding, authoritative, bully. Those may be essential qualities for the Head of Section D but they don't play well with parenthood."

Chastened but recognising the truth he slowly replied, "I know – Jane - if I could revisit the past and do some things differently I would, willingly."

"As I did tell Erin, your regrets should be issued to the children. I don't need to be convinced. I know Catherine would have been dead if you hadn't rescued her in the Lebanon and I can only guess how much that solicitor cost when Graham was charged with possession. What I couldn't get my head around, what I really couldn't understand was how a man who was so sensitive in many ways could do such a brutal job and keep on doing it despite what it did to him. To be honest I still don't."

Harry stared at that one, "But I never really..."

"Told me. True, but the Official Secrets Act couldn't disguise your physical scars when you came limping home and I didn't suppose that Northern Ireland and Berlin were your holiday destinations of choice. I know that Bill's death haunted you. I don't know what happened in Berlin but I do know that you were never the same when you returned." Looking at Harry she added, "Seriously for once I'm not criticising. I'm trying to tell you that I'm beginning to realise why you became so remote. Some horrors you can't share. Some decisions you can't talk about."

Grateful as he was for some late flowering recognition of the problems he'd faced Harry still felt obliged to confess. "Even so my inability to share still destroyed our marriage."

"Was that entirely due to your job? I've wondered about that increasingly over the past few years. We were very young when we married, younger than our children are now. Look at our contemporaries, only Richard and Sophie are still married, everyone else has split up."

Once again she'd surprised him. He hadn't really kept up with the old crowd beyond the yearly ritual of the Christmas card. His job tended to separate him from regular contacts and he'd assumed that the majority of their mutual acquaintances would take Jane's side of the argument. Most of the women would probably concur that he was a philandering bastard while Harry guessed that several of their husbands would want to offer comforts of a more private nature to the newly divorced Jane. It wasn't a scenario he'd wanted to stick around to suffer. Even so the almost total failure of everyone to remain with their original choice of partner was news to him. He was nearly as dumbfounded by this nugget of information as he was by Jane's attribution of their divorce to anno domini rather than Her Majesty's Service.

Harry blurted out his astonishment, "You don't have to say that."

Jane sighed, "When have I ever said anything because I had to? The job didn't help but I might just have coped if it had been that alone, maybe... I don't know. –What I do know is that it was the job combined with the constant procession of other women that really did for us. I know what you kept saying -– it was just meaningless sex - maybe it was for you - but have you any idea of how it feels to know that when your husband is making love to you he's been kissing and stroking another woman in the same way, crying out her name, to wonder if he's come straight from making love to her to going through the same motions with you? To suspect that when he arrives home late he wasn't really at work? I'm not religious Harry but I understand why that commandment was set, infidelity corrodes trust and if you can't trust your partner what are you left with? You weren't the Spy who came in from the Cold, more like the Spy who got out of Bed, very occasionally. But that might have happened even if you'd been in a more conventional profession. What amazes me, considering your priapic activities, is that our children don't have a succession of half siblings.

Fortunately for Harry the screaming child, now demanding a burger, distracted Jane who turned her head tutting in disgust at the mother's failure to discipline her offspring. Otherwise she would have seen in an instant the agony of these old disastrous deceptions dragged into the light of day as they surfaced onto his face. Thoughts of Sasha, Elena, his jealously of Ilya, 'you're a much better lover Harry - another lie?' By the time Jane's attention had veered back onto him he'd managed to school his features, if not into impassivity at least into a semblance of normality as he ruminated, "Luke and Karen were still together so that makes two couples who survived."

"Ah I'd forgotten you left the funeral before Karen became drunk and loquacious – together was a vague term - as in not yet divorced."

"In view of my track record dare I ask what went wrong?"

"The usual story. Luke was involved with one of his students, very pretty, very sexy, very eighteen and very, in my view, inappropriate for a lecturer, even if she was of age. I suppose it flattered his ego to be mistaken for a stud at fifty plus, although if Karen's maudlin reminiscences were to be believed he probably expired from Viagra overdose just to get it up." Harry, caught in the act of pretending to sip his coffee inadvertently took a full mouthful. As he tried to avoid choking on the foul liquid while simultaneously attempting to rid his mind of unbidden images Jane continued, apparently oblivious to his spluttering, "It put your extra marital activities into perspective. You were gentleman enough to try to hide your womanising and you did come home to me. It does nothing for any woman to feel she's been dumped for a girl just over sixteen. And at least you've avoided shacking up with a teenager trying to kid you this is true love while taking you for as much as she can."

Harry hoped Jane hadn't seen him wince. Yet again he was reminding himself that Jane knew nothing about his recent past. He also had to admit that looking at other people's relationships she had a point. Did he come into the category Jane had just disparaged, men in late middle age entranced by women they could have fathered? Ruth had been years younger than him, but she'd been Ruth, an intelligent woman of forty not a teenage nymphet. Anyway while she had been technically young enough to be his daughter he hadn't actually begun his sexual adventuring until he hit university, an all male school and parental control had seen to that – even if he'd then hastily dedicated himself to making up for lost time.

Looking at Jane's despondent expression, he knew how much it must have cost her to be so frank, he'd always assumed that it was the job and that she had never appreciated his efforts to protect them; now he'd discovered the real bone of contention. If he'd known but - no she'd given him ample warning before calling time on their marriage, he needed to accept that he'd been a complacent idiot. In the words of the old cliché he'd wanted to have his cake and eat it, the excitement that came with the secrecy of an affair to escape into and a normal, slightly humdrum domestic life to return to. Even with that thought as a given he did speculate as to whether all her statements were directly related to their marriage, very young immature girls had never been his particular weakness and Jane knew that. Was she speaking theoretically? You never could be sure; in any conversation with her some viewpoints were informed from literature, some from life. In the early days of their relationship he'd endured more than one philosophical discourse on the theory of life v literature, 'it must have been love' although his main thoughts at the time had been occupied by the much more earthy issue of persuading her to sleep with him. Was his current existence the only one blurred by hurt and secrets? She'd only revealed her career twist when absolutely necessary and he wasn't so lost in his own misery that he hadn't noticed a great reluctance on her part to mention either Graham or her husband. Was this solely an attempt at self defence activated by a need to preserve crumbs of her privacy from a man who'd injured her deeply, or was she like him skirting around painful issues? He was frankly curious but he didn't want to probe, not when for the first time in years he'd received a very mild absolution from her for latter day wrongs. Verbal jousting with Jane was challenging, even in a bizarre way enjoyable, and he didn't want to risk this shading back into their previous snarling hostility. It was as if he was skidding dispairingly across cracked ice juggling with the weight of his guilt as he attempted to find a precarious balance.

Sitting opposite him Jane had sunk into her own thoughts, Harry looked his usual unmoveable self but she knew that his brain would be whirring. Had she given too much away even in her oblique guarded comments? Harry back in her life would represent a horrible complication that she didn't want. Instinct based on the last few hours told her to trust him but experience baulked at the prospect of leaving herself wide open to more hurt. It was only through recent trials that she had begun to understand how the ripples of their split had affected her. What about him? It was clear to her that Harry was profoundly troubled almost to the point of depression by something other than their shared past. She'd been tempted to confide in him after his sympathy over her job loss and his genuine horror at the tale she'd related. Could he help her now? No she decided, they both had their secrets and that was the way it would remain, unless of course Harry chose to become forthcoming about whatever was knawing away at his peace of mind, an event likely to be preceded by Hell freezing over.

Harry finally decided to test the water and risk an enquiry in one potentially delicate area. He was Graham's father; he had a legitimate right to express an interest in his son's welfare.

"Jane, I don't like pressurising Catherine so tell me how is Graham these days?"

Jane had anticipated this question and had an answer pat. "He wouldn't want you to know Harry."

"I don't want chapter and verse Jane but I am his father, I'll settle for a loose outline – I've never really walked away, whatever Graham might think."

Oh God – she was going to have to respond. Mentally she was squirming, trying to avoid the need to reply while disguising the truth when Harry's mobile buzzed into life. Harry answered it and then rang off.

"Later Jane, for now Catherine needs to be our priority."

Jane heaved an internal sigh of thanks – saved by the ringtone.

As they left and walked past the woman with the child their ears were assaulted by yet another demand.

"Mummy I want new Nintendo, my old model is rubbish - everyone else has one."

Leaning over the woman Jane distilled the accumulated wisdom of a professional forced to teach brats possessed of a misplaced sense of entitlement.

"Could I advise you to say No? A pair of earplugs would be so much cheaper."

Before the astounded woman could articulate a reply an alarmed Harry grabbed Jane's arm and dragged her out of the cafe with scant respect for either her damaged shoulder or weak ankle. Once outside he berated her as she began to rub soothing fingers over her aching collar bone.

"And I thought I lived dangerously. Around here Jane they don't debate politely, they present you with a bunch of fives."

Jane just smiled at his rebuke, for the first time since they'd been thrown together again he saw her dark gray eyes glint with mischief and certainty, "Yes but then I'm accompanied by my knight in tarnished armour, the one who swept me off my feet all those years ago and I'm sure he'd still rescue a damsel in distress."

Her unexpected mercurial change of mood left Harry torn between anger and amusement. He was rendered speechless with shock by the sight of the old Jane sparkle, untouched by acrimony. It was as if a shaft of sunlight had suddenly broken across the bleak landscape of his life. When had anyone last looked at him that way? He really couldn't remember. Even Ruth's last smile had been tainted by uncertainty as she waited for him to articulate a reply to what had proved to be her final request. Momentarily stunned he eventually managed a sardonic answer.

"Judging by our earlier conversation an unneutered tomcat with a roving eye might have been a more appropriate simile. In which case I think I may have used up my nine lives."

With that he opened the car door for her and presented her with a mock bow, "My lady your chariot awaits."

Thanks for reading. Please review if you have a moment. Holidays beckon so the next chapter, which is already planned, might be delayed.