AN: Normal text denotes present day conversations in Penny's apartment. Italics denotes past events..
Penny opened her apartment door on the fifteenth of February at who-gives-a-damn o'clock to see Amy drenched in rain and clutching her small carry-on bag to her chest.
"Ames…? I thought you and Sheldon were in Napa Valley this weekend? Where is the big lug anyway?" Penny craned her neck expecting to see Sheldon's familiar presence in the hallway.
"Napa Valley." Amy stated quietly before falling into her best friends arms and drenching her robe in hot, salty tears.
"Who is it, Penny? Get rid of them and come back to bed…" Leonard stumbled out of the bedroom, and was grateful that he'd remembered to pull on his t-shirt when he saw what had disturbed a quiet morning in bed with his girlfriend. "Oh, hello Amy, where's…?" Leonard stopped speaking when Penny gave him that laser blast look from his eyes which told him immediately to zip his mouth firmly closed.
"Come on, Amy; let's get you dried off and comfortable. Would you like some tea?"
"No, thank you. I was wondering whether one of you might be able to drive me home, the keys to my car are in Sheldon's safe…he didn't want me to lose them on the journey. I have a spare key to my apartment with my neighbour; she can let me back in." Amy shoved her wet hair out of her eyes and stood in the open doorway of Penny's apartment before backing back out into the hallway. "I can see that I have disturbed your romantic weekend, please accept my apologies. If I could just use the telephone to call for a cab?"
"Where's your cell? Ah…Sheldon's safe." Penny wisely tapped the side of her nose and then wrinkled her forehead when Amy held out a dripping wet cell with a cracked screen.
"No, I had an argument with Sheldon and threw my cell into a puddle. I've got insurance though, so I can easily get it replaced."
"Sweetie, what did you argue about?" Penny accepted a towel from Leonard who had disappeared into the bedroom to pull on a pair of pants; when he came out he brought a soft, fluffy towel so that Amy could dry off a little.
"Everything…it all started when we were holding our annual relationship summit…"
A few weeks ago…
"Which brings us to the final item in our annual State of the Relationship summit… Item 29: Valentine's Day."
"Ohhh, the worst for last. Classic Flakey." Sheldon raised his mug of tea in salute, trying out one of his proposed 'pet names' for Amy; one look at her narrowed eyes gave him the impression that one would not be making the short list.
"Before you get upset, I believe that I've come up with a way for us to celebrate the occasion that we both can enjoy."
"People usually start a meeting with a joke, but you go ahead, end with one." Sheldon stated, placing his mug down onto the coffee table and prepared to give Amy one of his classic faked laughs.
"I propose we spend a weekend at a bed-and-breakfast in Napa Valley."
"I hate every word in that sentence." Sheldon stated, shaking his head as he looked over at his girlfriend. "Including; 'in', 'at', 'we' and 'a'."
"Come on Sheldon, why not?"
"For starters, a bed-and-breakfast forces you to eat with strangers at your table."
"One step ahead of you. Bernadette and Wolowitz are going with us."
"Very well. What are the sleeping arrangements? We've only been dating for three years. If we were to share a room, people might talk."
"I got you your own room."
"What if my room has a claw-foot bathtub?"
"It doesn't. I know it makes you feel like you're bathing inside a monster."
"Look, I appreciate the effort, but I'm still unclear how this trip is supposed to be enjoyable for me."
"We're going to have Valentine's Day dinner on a fully functioning vintage train."
"Vintage? Be specific."
"An Alcoa FA-4 diesel locomotive leading a train of meticulously restored 1915 Pullman first-class coaches."
"Wow. I'm feeling the urge to hug you…" Sheldon remarked, Amy prepared to enfold him in her talcum scented arms but then Sheldon turned slightly on the couch and started to count aloud; "And one…and two…All right, Gollum, we're good."
Penny's apartment – February 15th.
"Wait! Sheldon actually thought that Flakey and Gollum were appropriate pet names for you? I can't believe this guy, Leonard, did you hear that?" Penny interrupted Amy's re-telling of the events leading up to the catastrophe to twist around to see what Leonard's reaction was. He merely shrugged, "You should have heard some of the other suggestions he had in mind, I think he mentioned something about 'Fester'."
"Yeah, Princess Corncob did not make the top ten list either." Amy muttered sarcastically as she rubbed the towel through her wet hair.
"Come on, what happened next? It sounds like he was starting to come around to the idea…he was certainly pretty excited when we saw you both off yesterday."
"Everything was going fine…until we sat down to dinner…"