First, thanks Danni for your review, I loved it and your english is much more elegant than mine!
Second, I'll change styles for a few chapters. Bear with me, please, there's a point to it. Hope I won't lose any of you readers!
Will's POV
Sonny's hand on my shoulder is something I use as a way to stay strong in front of my father's anger. The hardest for me is this disgust he can't conceal each time. And each time, like a fool, I hope he'll get used to it, that it'll become normal to him. I remember having a talk with Tyler once about his own dad telling him to go and ask the number of the hot waiter ogling him at a restaurant, one evening. Tyler said he was dying of embarrassment. I dream of that. My father, that I love very much and who has shown me how much I count in his life, over everyone else, over Mom, even, cannot stand who I am. In a way, I managed to live with it before because I could compartment this tow aspects of my life, on one side guys I was fantasizing about, the relationship with my parents on the other and an ocean between the two, but now, there's Sonny, who's filled the ocean and moved the continents next to each other. Sonny whom I love and who loves me, I think… I want to believe he does, he's so… perfect. And he wants me. And I want him in my life, forever and that means for example that next Christmas, I want to bring him to my family gathering with no-one minding a bit, the way my Mom is OK with it. Mommy who's looking at me with affection and a discreet tear that I might be the only one to notice, who's kidding around with Sonny about his choice of food "I need to eat way more than that tiny helping. You're serving us a dish for little girls!" and my beloved plays along "That's how I eat. To keep my hourglass figure and my girlish airs." And he makes her laugh while Dad is getting greener. There are times I feel guilty for forcing him to confront such bizarre and unsettling ways of being. There are others, I wish he would do the same efforts I do. He likes Sonny, actually. He admires him. He told Justin a while ago, in front of me. At the time I had no idea I stood a chance with him and I was still happy to hear that. To be head over heels for a guy that parents and friends, gays and heteros, alike think is the best, that was something, that is something. And I'm afraid I'll lose him, that Lucas will push him to his limits, that he'll get fed up with all the baggage I carry with me, those conflicts, this difference there again, that Sonny knows nothing about, with his cut-from-the-perfect-parents-mail-order-catalog. I can't stand still and I keep getting up to fetch things until Sonny casually puts his hand on my arm and gives me a quieting look. I get the message and tries to join in the conversation. They are talking about Common Grounds "Yes, we really gained a larger clientèle by opening up half an hour earlier although it makes it harder to plan shifts. I'm considering hiring again." I'm ready to add a remark when Mom stops me with "By the way, I saw a board on a building five minutes from there by foot. You should check it out. It's a nice place and a safe neighborhood." Sonny arches an eyebrow and I look down. I can't tell if he looked at me but I hear him ask " Didn't Will tell you ? It's not a priority for us at the moment..." Dad's voice, that I hadn't heard all evening, compels me to look up. "You're not living together anymore ?" He sounds incredulous and a little doubtful. I respond with "It's still in the future, without any set date. It'll happen when we feel it's the good time." He gives me a dark look and I wonder why. Isn't that what he wanted ? "After all the fuss you've made about it the other night ?" I fell myself blush "Dad…" I've managed to keep our family disastrous arguments away from Sonny's ears but I'm afraid tonight, it's gonna happen right in front of him. Mom's face has changed and I can almost see the steam coming from her nostrils. "We've discussed it, Dad and Sonny explained that ..." He doesn't let me finish "So you listen to Sonny and not me ?" In a last attempt to keep my dignity, I answer "Exactly.", looking him straight in the eyes. Sonny's eyes widen and I'd give all the money in the world to be back to an hour ago, when I was in his arms, when things were so easy. And then, what I dreaded happens "Lucas, what's your problem ?" Thanks, Mom … And what's worse is she doesn't realize she's making things worse. My father becomes incensed "You want me to stay quiet ? He's not mature enough for all that, you know it as well as I do !" Sami is furious "Not mature for what ? Find himself a boyfriend or sleep with him ? I recall a teenager his age who began even before. Oh and by the way, he's sitting right here!" "That's my point, he shouldn't replay our mistakes!" Sonny who looks pissed at being called a mistake reacts instantly "Lucas, I accept you have an opinion on the subject, but I's appreciate if you didn't speak as if we weren't in the room! It's insulting for me and as for Will, it infantilizes him." I close my eyes as I don't want to lose it and cry in front of them all. I push back my chair and say slowly "I need some air. Excuse-me." And I go out averting their gaze, especially Sonny's. I don't want him to see me crumble.