A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you all for reading this story! I hope you are all ready for this crazy ride. I do not own Criminal Minds. If I did, Jemily would be a thing by Season 3.

Chapter 2

For the first time after having sex with JJ, I didn't wake up from her sneaking out of my bed. I woke up from my alarm and she was still holding me close.

We had an unspoken agreement about what we were doing. JJ chose when we got together. JJ could leave any time. No talking about it. No feelings. I'm pretty sure I broke one of those rules.

So, we got up in silence. We showered together in silence. We put on clothes in silence. We snuck out of the room in silence. We met up with the team in silence.

"Take care of yourself, JJ," I heard Will say as he put on his jacket and walked off. I watched how broken she looked when he walked away. And that's when I knew. I wanted JJ to want me. More than my body, more than the sex. I wanted her to want all of me. And she didn't. She couldn't. And I couldn't blame her. There was too much missing inside of me for her to love me. So, I made a decision, right there and then. If I couldn't have all of her, I didn't want any of her.

I walked up to the media liaison, with defiance in my bones, and told her, "You should go for him."

"What?" JJ asked as if she didn't understand exactly what I said.

I didn't want to have to spell it out to her. I didn't want to tell her that she needed to go for him. That she needed to make a decision so I didn't have to admit to her that what we were doing was hurting me. To make sure there was no question about what I was telling her, I clarified, "You'd make a cute couple."

It was as if a switch went off in her brain. Like something finally allowed her to choose him. "You know what?" She walked away from me and ran to Will. She told him something. Confessed something. Professed her love for him, probably. And then he kissed her and everything inside hurt.

My chest physically felt like it was being torn apart. I felt my skin rip, my blood spill, my muscles split, and my bones crack. This feeling, this agony, it was unbearable. I hadn't felt it for a long time. I only felt it one other time. And I promised myself I wouldn't feel it again. I took a deep breath and tried to bury every single laceration on my body.

I felt someone stand next to me. I held inside my feelings, I wouldn't let him see. Or Reid, who also wanted to see the show.

"Well, finally," Morgan muttered, sounding completely entertained.

"Mmm," I murmured quietly. "I thought she was never going to admit it." I couldn't handle standing there anymore so I started to walk away.

"Yeah, what's it been like? A year?" Spencer asked as he followed me outside of the precinct.

"Yeah, something like that," Morgan agreed as he followed both of us. "Do you guys want to get a drink?"

That was the last thing I wanted. To drink with Morgan and Reid and pretend everything was okay. But I did want to drink. I really wanted to drink.

"I'm going to head back to the hotel," I lied carefully. "I'm exhausted. But I'll see you guys later."

Before they had a chance to reply, I walked away in the direction of the hotel. But once I reached the hotel, I just kept walking. And walking. And walking. Holding the threads of me inside and praying that they wouldn't unravel. And then I walked some more.

The buzz was anticipated and welcoming. Tonight was a good night for vodka. Vodka, my oldest and dearest friend. Finally, I had some relief from the overwhelming thoughts in my head.

"You aren't from around here, are you?" A sultry voice asked, coming from the woman next to me.

I looked up and smirked at the dark-haired woman sitting on the bar stool to my side. Her eyes stared into mine. I couldn't stop looking at her green eyes. Somehow, I knew those green eyes were going to get me in trouble. She looked me up and down and I felt confident for the first time in a while. I smiled at her.

"I am not. How did you know that?"

"You're paler than a ghost. I've lived in Miami my whole life. I can tell the difference. So what are you doing here in a bar when you could be at the pool, getting perfectly tan?"

I took a sip of my drink and told her, "I needed some alcohol. What about you?"

She grinned and chugged her beer. "Same. Though, you're in the wrong area, rich girl. You're in a bad neighborhood."

I shrugged. I didn't even notice. "Doesn't matter."

"Not afraid, huh? Well, you have a gun on you, so you shouldn't be scared," She mentioned nonchalantly, taking another sip. My eyes widened and I instinctively touched my gun. She laughed and said, "Don't fret, darling. I'm just messing with you. I know what a gun looks like on a woman. I'm Dexter." She held her hand out for me to shake.

I looked at her hand and noticed the tattoos that covered her arm. I looked up at her eyes once again. Maybe I needed a little trouble. I needed a distraction. I shook her hand. "Lauren."

She smiled with her beautiful lips. "Do you want to get out of here, Lauren?"

With one last gulp, I finished my drink. I smiled at her. It was a dangerous smile. One I hadn't used since…

"Let's go."

The motel was run down, but that didn't matter. She was kissing me, I was kissing her, nothing else could mean a damn thing. She knew exactly what I needed without asking. And I did whatever she wanted. I was in awe of her talents and she didn't seem disappointed with mine.

We stayed up most of the night, but eventually, we fell asleep. I woke up from a text message early in the morning.

"Shit!" I whispered as I looked at the message. Hotch asked me where I was. I should be at the hotel right now.

"What's wrong, baby?" Dexter asked as she rolled over and laid her hand on my back.

I should've gotten up and gotten a cab to the hotel. But I didn't.

Hotch asked if everything was alright. I told him that I was fine and that they should take off. I would get a flight back on my own. I put my phone back down and wrapped my arms around the woman.

"Nothing," I told her sweetly. "Blew off my boss."

Dexter chuckled and kissed my neck. "Good choice, rich girl. What's it like to be bad? I'm guessing this is the first time you haven't followed the rules. Feels good?"

"I'm not always good," I whispered almost angrily. Breaking rules, messing around, that was the old me. A version of myself I didn't like. I groaned and got up from the bed. I couldn't stay. Even if I wanted to, this wasn't my life anymore. Sleeping around, drinking, that was when Lauren existed and lived inside of me. I thought that Lauren had left. But maybe she had just gone on vacation.

I pulled on my clothes and went to the bathroom. I quietly climbed out of the window. I may have Lauren inside of me, but I am still the wimp that always sneaks out, afraid of confrontation. At that moment, I understood JJ a little bit more. I hated myself just a little bit more.

Y'all, this story is dark. Hope you guys liked this chapter! Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcome and appreciated! Let me know what you like and what you don't like!