A/N: Hey, everyone! Still don't own Criminal Minds, unfortunately.

Chapter 3

I caught the next flight out to Virginia. The trip was bumpier and more time consuming than if I had just gone with the team, but my night with Dexter was worth it. At least, I hoped it was worth it.

She helped me forget about JJ, even if it was only for a few hours. Dexter might have not been the one for me. But if she helped me get over the blonde, even a little bit, I thought that it was at least somewhat worth it.

Sergio greeted me when I entered my apartment. As much as I loved my cat, truth is, he doesn't help me fight the complete loneliness. He doesn't fill the void.

After showering all the dirtiness off my skin, I poured myself a glass of wine. Alcohol was my monster. And damn, did it bring out my demons. It couldn't have been a worse time when there was a knock on my door. I got interrupted just as I started flirting with the devil.

"Emily, where- are you okay?" JJ asked as I opened the door. She put her hand on my forehead as if she were trying to check my temperature. She must have thought that I looked sick.

I flinched away and walked back into my apartment. I didn't want her questions. I didn't want her concern. I didn't want her anything.

Of course, she followed me inside and closed the door. I noticed that she saw the wine bottle and I cringed. The last thing I wanted was for her to think I had a 'drinking problem.'

"Why are you here, JJ? Why aren't you with Will?" I sat down on the couch and pretended to be uninterested in the blonde's answer.

She sat down next to me and I inched away. "He doesn't live here, Em. He's back in New Orleans."

I nodded, still trying to avoid her concerned stare. "I'm really happy for you guys. You deserve someone like him."

I jumped when I felt her warm hand meet my thigh. I almost shivered at the touch. I wanted her so bad. I finally turned and looked into her blue eyes. I felt petrified.

"He doesn't live in Virginia, Em. The relationship is still long distance. We can still… if you wanted to."

And I did want to. More than anything. But I knew, if I let myself feel her one more time, it would shatter me.

I got up, getting out of her grasp. "I don't want to. I can't continue doing this. You are with him. You can't keep… messing around."

JJ walked up to me and cupped my cheek. "He will never know. We are just having fun, right? Feeling better."

She wasn't listening to me. She didn't understand. She couldn't. She could never understand.

"Jennifer…" I leaned in and kissed her for the last time. It was delicate and sweet. Nothing like our normal steamy, aggressive, hot kisses. "It isn't just fun for me. You're killing me."

JJ furrowed her eyebrows as if she couldn't comprehend what I was saying. "How?"

I turned away from her and walked to my wine glass. After taking a long sip, I said, "You don't want me. You want the sex. But you're with Will. And I can't do this anymore. You are tearing me apart."

She looked horrified at what I said. Finally, based on her reaction, I could tell that she understood. "But— But we can still be friends? Best friends?"

"Sure…" I told her in a noncommittal voice. I didn't know if I could be her friend. I was hurt, I was feeling too much. I loved a woman who didn't love me. "But I need some time."

"Oh. Okay. I guess I'll get going," JJ said disappointedly. And without saying much else, she left my apartment and I could finally feel like I could breathe again.

I finished my glass of wine and closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would come. But it didn't. There was a knock at the door. I groaned and jumped up.

"JJ… please! Go away! I don't want-" I stopped mid-sentence as I opened the door and realized it wasn't JJ at the door. I felt my jaw drop. I couldn't believe my eyes.

She smiled at me awkwardly. "Hey, Emmy. It's good to see you."

"Sash…" I breathed out sharply. "What are you- what are you doing here?"

"Uh," She looked around and muttered, "Can I come inside?

I opened my door wider so that she could enter my apartment. I closed the door and led her to the living area. We both sat down.

"I was going to call first before just barging in on you for this, but I was afraid… it's been so long, Em. And I- I need your help."

I frowned. I was worried about what was coming next. "Are you okay? What's wrong? What do you need help with?"

"I looked you up recently. Of course, I couldn't find any information on you before. But I found out you were in the FBI. The BAU. So I realized that you could help me. If you wanted to, of course."

I opened my mouth and then closed it. "What do you need help with, Sasha?"

"I'm a detective in the LAPD. And it's happened. Like I said it would. The chief doesn't think I have enough evidence. But I told him that I knew you and that you could help me out."

I stared at her. Sasha wasn't the kind of person to cry wolf. She was one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. So I couldn't even consider the idea that she could be incorrect. "Of course I'll help, Sasha. But I can't just leave my team. They might want to help."

She smiled slightly. "So you aren't the lone wolf you were before, are you? You've changed?"

I shook my head. "I've only adapted, Sasha. I'm the same woman who went to college with you all those years ago."

She looked at me for a few seconds and then shook her head. "No, no. Something's different. Something sad. You seem… like there is a heavier weight on your shoulders."

I took a deep breath. Sasha always saw right through me. "I'm fine, Sash. I love my job, my friends…"

"Then why are you so much sadder than when I last saw you, Emmy?"

I blinked and took a deep breath. "Maybe it's because when I was with you, it was the only time I was truly happy."

She quirked her head like she always used to and stared at me carefully. "You aren't broken, Em. I know that you think you are, but you aren't, okay?"

What could I say to that? It wasn't like I could argue with her. I couldn't tell her I was broken. Not after everything that happened. Not after everything I did. I cleared my throat, making it obvious I was changing the subject. "We'll go to Quantico tomorrow. To tell my coworkers about your case. Stay with me tonight."

"Don't you want to know the details about the case?" Sasha asked me, sounding surprised.

I shrugged. "I believe you, Sash. You said that it's happening. So it's happening. Tell me the details when you tell the others. Have you eaten? Need something to drink?"

"I ate on the plane," Sasha told me. "But have any wine?"

I snorted. "I already told you that I haven't changed. Stay there. I'll get you a glass." I got up and grabbed two glasses and the wine bottle. I poured the wine into the glasses and brought them to the woman I haven't seen in ten years. I passed a glass to her.

"So, detective, huh? That's awesome, Sash. That's what you have always wanted."

She nodded and took a sip. "Yeah. It's harder than I thought, but I love it. Every case is different. So how about you? FBI's a lot different than the route you were going when you left."

"I needed a change," I admitted in a soft whisper. "And the BAU came in calling. The team is brilliant. You are going to love them."

She smiled shortly and then asked, "Speaking of love… seeing anyone?"

I let out a nervous chuckle. "No. Definitely not. I haven't been in a relationship for a long time."

"So that blonde who practically raced out of your apartment crying is just a friend of yours?" She raised her eyebrows at me and I bit my lip.

"It's complicated," I said quietly. "We weren't dating. She- she's in a very committed relationship with a very southern man. And so I ended it. And how about you?"

She didn't seem phased by what was going on with JJ. "Ahh. Stable relationships are hard to come by these days. You know me. I don't mix well with most people."

I smirked. "Oh… I remember. You tried to get into arguments with every person at Yale. And you tried to shut down all the frats."

She laughed and smiled her famous charismatic smile. "And you were there by my side the whole time." She looked into my eyes and the sparkle faltered for a second. "It's been so long, Em. After everything… I hope… can you forgive me?"

I couldn't believe what she was saying. "Forgive you? You did nothing wrong, Sash. It was me. It was all me."

She shook her head. "It wasn't all you, Em. I ended it. I should have stayed. Tried harder. I stopped believing in us."

"I was unreliable. I was selfish. I was pushing you away. I was-"

"You were hurting, Emmy. I know that now. You were pushing me away because you didn't want me to see your pain. Your dad died and I left you. I gave up on you. I gave up on us when you needed me the most." She put her hand on my cheek.

I looked away. The pain was still fresh. Everything still hurt. "It's okay. I'm fine. Besides, we've got a case to think about."

"Yeah," She said and pulled her hand away.

Ooh, new character! Sasha is very different than my last OC, Remi. Her relationship with Emily will be explained in the rest of the story with lots of flashbacks.

Thank you all for reading! Reviews are welcome and appreciated!