Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, profit from this story and all creative rights to the characters belong to Richelle Mead.
The original content, ideas and intellectual property of this story are owned by Ms. Belikov. Please do not copy, reproduce, or translate without express written permission.
RPOV:
"Dimitri visited Tasha in Tarasov prison." Adrian said, sitting down at the lunch table with me, Lissa, Christian, and Eddie.
Those five words stunned me momentarily. "What?" I choked on the grape soda I was drinking.
"Dimitri. Visited. Tasha. In. Prison."
I was distantly aware of my friends at the table, stunned to silence with identical shocked expressions, even Christian. This wasn't strange to me, considering the fact that he'd attacked his aunt at the scene after finding out that she had part in what Victor and Alexander did to Lissa. My best friend had told me that Christian never wanted anything to do with her again….and no matter how much of a monster Tasha was, that was sad because she was his only family left.
"When?"
"Yesterday morning. While you were sleeping."
"I don't believe you. That's a lie. Dimitri would tell me if he did something like that. Our relationship is built around trust and honesty."
"Then what is this?" Suddenly, he pulled out something and slid it over to me. I gasped. It was a black and white photo of Dimitri and…Tasha. She was behind glass, sitting down across from him, wearing some sort of baggy prison outfit. Guards were stationed behind Tasha while she talked on the phone with my boyfriend.
My blood turned to ice. "Where the hell did you get this? Photoshop or something? Oh, god. Please tell me it's fake."
Adrian shook his head slowly. "It's not. One of my friends works at Tarasov…and, uh, I told him to keep an eye on Tasha. Tell me if anything new happens with her, you know." He paused, looking uncomfortable.
"So help me God, I am going to murder my boyfriend. Please keep going…"
"Well, Dimitri was Tasha's first ever visitor. So my friend called me and told me the news. After giving me the description of the Cradle Robber, I asked him to send me a pic. It took a little persuading, a little green…but I got it. And here we are. Having lunch together. Now ain't it a wonderful day?"
"I hate you sometimes, Adrian. You know that?" Hurt flashed across his face. "You're so brutally honest and although the truth stings, you never lie to me. You would never betray me like Dimitri did…" I blinked, feeling that god awful lump in my throat. "So I want to thank you. You're a good friend."
"Wow…that didn't go as I had expected." Adrian gaped.
"Sort of anti-climatic, huh?" Christian asked. "I thought Rose would tear out of the cafeteria screaming, swinging, foaming at the mouth…things like that. I never expected her to be calm about a situation for once. Frankly, I'm surprised that Dimitri's head isn't on a stick right now for what that bastard did."
"Christian, be quiet. Please." Lissa nudged his arm. "She doesn't need to hear stuff like that right now."
"No. He's right." I said. "Dimitri's head is going to be on a stick. It just has to wait until after class. He's teaching combat to new recruits right now."
"Shit," Eddie shot Adrian a level stare. "You shouldn't have told her, man. That was stupid. Really goddamn stupid."
"I don't lie to my friends. Like Rose said, I am brutally honest."
"You weren't honest with Sydney."
Adrian's head snapped to the side. "What the fuck did you say?"
"You heard what I said," Eddie's voice was strong, his stance all macho and charged with testosterone. "I'm glad that girl dumped you. You deserved it."
"Fuck you—"
"Boys. Everything is okay over here, right?" Alberta's voice was smooth but a warning at the same time. Her expression was almost frighteningly awesome, cool-it-or-else-I'll-make-you-cool-it…that's what it said. The lady was badass.
Eddie and Adrian glared at each other for another moment before biting out a, "Everything's fine, Ma'am."
"Good. That's what I thought." Alberta smiled, patted their backs, and strolled off to her usual spot against the wall.
"Rose?" That tender voice brought me back to reality.
"Yeah?"
"Your food is going to get cold if you don't eat it." Lissa's gentle touch on my bicep made me flinch, but a moment later, I leaned into it, seeking comfort from my best friend.
"I love you, you know that?" I murmured. "You're the only person who has stuck by my side throughout all the trouble and heartache the world threw at us. I just want to thank you."
Her chin quivered a little, but she kept it together by smiling. God, I loved that smile. It was the perfect twist of her lips and it made her kind face glow like an angel. "You're welcome, Rose."
The bell rang, signaling lunch was over.
"You can stay here for longer if you want," Lissa said. "You haven't eaten a thing. I'll talk to the teachers and have them excuse you from your next class—"
"No," I said urgently. "I'm fine. Really. I am. My stomach's not hungry…I don't even feel anything at all. It's like my body's numb."
"Okay." Lissa nodded sadly, gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you after work."
"Maybe." I said. "After I talk to Dimitri…I have a feeling I'm gonna want to be alone."
We said our goodbyes and headed off.
Hours later, I found Dimitri at the gym, preparing for our evening practice. Thankfully, the room was empty. It needed to be for the screaming match I knew we were about to have.
He looked over at me and my steps faltered as I took in his military uniform. God, he looked so good—
Focus Rose, I scolded my self. Stay focused.
"Hi beautiful, how was your day?"
"I know what you did yesterday morning."
Dimitri's body jolted and his head snapped up, facial expression one of utter shock. "What?"
"Yesterday morning. While I was asleep. You and Tasha had a little alone time." I crossed my arms. "Care to share the details? I'm just dying to know."
There were a few moments of heavy silence as he stared at me.
"Cat got your tongue, General?" I asked harshly. "You usually always have the right thing to say. Come on, spit it out. I want to hear another Zen lesson. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me this was all a mistake and a misunderstanding. Tell me that I'm yelling at you for no reason right now. Tell me it's not what I think it is. TELL ME!"
"I can't."
I was so stunned that I actually stumbled a few steps back. "You can't?"
"That's correct." Dimitri's voice was strained, almost like he was desperate to say more but couldn't.
"To hell with that. Why?" I demanded. "Why did you go see her?"
His lips parted, ready to speak, when he made a sound and pressed them together tightly. "I can't tell you."
He was hiding something.
That did it.
I lost all self control.
"What?" I screamed, getting in his face and pointing my finger at him. "What do you mean you can't tell me? That woman tortured me, Dimitri. TORTURED ME. She drove a scalpel into my cheek. She killed three teenage girls. And you're going off and visiting her and you can't tell me why? You're defending her!"
"I'm not defending her!" He growled, his anger spiking.
My throat tightened. "Do you…do you still have feelings for Tasha?"
"What?" Dimitri choked on that one word. "Of course not."
I shook my head. "I don't believe you."
He grabbed my arm. "Look at me."
"No." The first tear slipped out of my eye. I roughly wiped it away, angry with myself for being so weak.
How could he do this to me? He was one of only two people on this earth that I trusted, that I loved. And he took everything we had and crushed it to dust.
I knew it was a possibility that he might still have feelings for her. And that possibility made me nauseous. But I didn't want to believe it. I felt sicker right now than I had that day I'd seen my best friend in a blood bath.
"Look at me."
"No."
He grabbed my face with both his hands forcefully, causing his fingers to bite into my skin. He pulled my head upwards, forcing me to look him in the eye.
"Let me go!" I hissed, struggling to get away. Dimitri only held me tighter.
"I cannot tell you why I did what I did. I'm not allowed to. But I want you to know that it's not what you think it is. Trust me on this one. Everything is not as it seems." He paused, his eyes growing more intense. "You are the woman I love, Rose. You. Only you." He grabbed one of my hands and forced it to his chest, right over his heart. "I am yours. And will forever be yours—whether you want me to be or not. Nothing is ever going to change that."
Dimitri released me.
I gathered saliva in my mouth, spit in his face, and smacked him hard. "How dare you have the nerve to say that to me? After all you have done. You make me sick. I never want to see you again!"
"It's over for us?" Dimitri growled. "Just like that?"
"Yep. Done. Over. Finished. Poof—just like that. Magical right?" Sarcasm dripped from my words.
"I won't let you go that easily. I'm going to fight for you. Fight for us."
Silent tears streamed down my face and I let them. There was no reason to hide how vulnerable and broken I was in that moment.
"Let me hold you," Dimitri whispered. "You are in so much pain right now, and you hurt badly. Let me comfort you."
I took a step back when he came forward. "Stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me."
"I'm so sorry—"
"If you're apologetic and regretful like you say you are…tell me. Tell me why you saw Tasha so I can understand. Make me understand. I am giving you this last chance."
"I wish I could tell you. Goddamn I wish I could tell you. It's killing me. But I can't. And I know that one day you will understand and I hope you can forgive me."
"I guess you really don't love me as much as you say you do." A sob escaped my mouth as I turned around and headed for the gym doors.
"Yes, I do. That's where you're wrong."
"Actions speak louder than words, Dimitri." I whispered. "And right now, your actions are defying everything that you tell me. I'm not going to lie, Dimitri, I love you. I love you so much it hurts me. I've not only told you that I loved you…but I showed you. I fought for you. I fought for you until I thought my heart would explode from the pain that you had put it through. After all the times you pushed me away, I still went running back to you." I rubbed my hand over my chest, trying to ease the aching hole. "I wish I could make my feelings go away. I wish I didn't love you. Hell, I'd wish I never met you!"
"Don't say that." he hissed.
"Why not? It's the truth." God…it was getting hard to breathe. "I spent months fighting for you, opening my heart to you, showing you how much I loved you with my actions. And what are you doing now, Dimitri? Nothing. You're doing absolutely nothing. You're not fighting for me like I would fight for you. Shit. Instead you're keeping secrets from me. That's not how a fucking relationship works!"
"I am protecting you, Rose. I am protecting you!" Dimitri swore in Russian. "Why can't you believe me? Please believe me. Don't do this. I need you, Roza."
Tears blurred my vision as I met his brown eyes. "I'm sorry….but, but…we're done. There is nothing between us. And as much as it pains me to say this, I wish you the best in life and I hope that you find someone who makes you just as happy as you made me."
"Goddamn it, Rose. Don't fucking do this!"
"Please…don't follow me. Just stay away. That is all I ask of you." I gave him one last glance before pulling my jacket closer and walking away…for good. "Goodbye, Dimitri."