A/N: Hey guys! I still don't own Criminal Minds. This chapter references the episode, "Revelations."

Chapter 8

The sight wasn't as gruesome as some other crime scenes I had seen in the past. But that doesn't mean that it wasn't animalistic. It was. And due to the amount of blood and stab marks, sadism was definitely a factor as well.

"Thanks for letting me know, Olsen," Sasha said as she hung up and entered the living room where Delmonico was showing me where the victims were brutally murdered. She turned to us. "The Medical Examiner confirmed my prediction. There were three different angles of the stab trajectory. Three different heights. But unlike Manson, they cleaned up better. Just like in the house, there are no fingerprints, hair, or DNA on the bodies. Either the leader is training them well, or maybe he is killing them, too."

I looked around the room. Blood spattered the floors and walls. Delmonico showed me pictures of the bodies hanging from the ropes. They were tortured by the rope, but they were killed by the stab wounds. They also suffered from beatings and bullets. Overkill would be an understatement. "Why do you think that the UnSubs placed the bodies back in the noose after they killed them with knives and bullets? The noose wasn't what killed them."

"I'm not sure," Sasha wondered. "Different from Manson, for sure. Though, the Family did hang their victims as well. But these perps had more control. They didn't let anyone escape or get free."

I nodded, looking at the lack of mess in the living room. "More organized. This guy has trained them well. Which begs the concern for more bodies."

"Which is why…" She paused, becoming extremely serious. "I've been trying to get into contact with California State Prison. I want to talk with Manson. My guess is that the perp has tried to communicate with Manson. Charlie might not be working with him… but…"

"But he might know who his admirer is," I finished, understanding where she was going with this. I couldn't help but be surprised. Talking to Manson was ambitious, to say the least. "You contacted the warden?"

"The Captain gave me the go ahead. He doesn't want to be blamed if something goes wrong, but he's happy to let me investigate. I think we should be allowed in the next few days or so."

I didn't bother telling her that I couldn't believe they would let us in. Manson wasn't just a normal prisoner. And our case, we wouldn't want it to get any attention. We wouldn't want LA to think the Manson Family was back. Even if it was.

Delmonico's phone buzzed and he made a weird sound. "Wakowski texted me. She picked up Sandra Good. She's at the station right now. And apparently, she'll only talk to you, Ty."

I could see Sasha's eyes light up. I couldn't tell if it was with excitement or curiosity. I didn't understand the reaction.

"Alright. Em, are you done here?" Sasha asked, with something else new in her voice. Something… different.

I nodded. It was hard to process all of the crime scene and the information coming at me. Usually I had a team who thought similarly to me, so I could bounce ideas off of them. Sasha was brilliant, and I had no doubt that Delmonico isn't incompetent, but it wasn't the same.

JJ POV

"Do you… do you think I was too harsh with Prentiss? Do you think that I don't trust her as much as the others?" Hotch asked me as we started to land.

I opened my mouth and then closed it. I didn't know how to reply to my boss. While I had the freedom to tell Hotch about how I saw things, I didn't feel like I was in the position to say anything.

"Hotch… Emily is fine. She was just pissed off. It wasn't about trust. But, then again, you did have trust problems when she first joined. She's one of the newest members and she came after Elle."

He stared at me carefully, trying to tell if I was being honest with him. "You feel wary about this whole Prentiss situation, don't you? You think we should have gone with her?"

I shook my head. "No. We had more pertinent cases that needed our attention. It's more like the feeling I got about her friend, the detective. She's been in contact with some of the Family members since she was what, in her early twenties? There must be a reason for that. And if there isn't, there is the possibility of obsession."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "For being someone adamant about not becoming a profiler, you tend to profile others quite often. Usually Emily."

I didn't know what to infer about his observation. Maybe he was right. But I wanted him to be wrong. "It's not about Emily," I argued. "I'm afraid that the detective is too invested. That she won't see any other points of view."

He nodded slowly. "I understand. I have the same unease about it. But Prentiss asked us to trust her. And I have to. Because if I don't, then I will want to fly to LA and pick her up from there."

He noticed the surprise in my face. I couldn't believe that he would admit something like that to me. Hotch cared about his team. We were his family. But I guess I didn't realize until now that he felt that way about Emily as well.

"You and Prentiss doing okay? You seemed pretty cautious about her. Should I be worried about something?"

I wondered if he knew about our… previous friends with benefits situation. But I shook that thought out of my head. I couldn't even think about that right now. What he was really wondering was if Emily was okay. I couldn't even answer that one. And I was supposed to be her friend. And I couldn't tell if the brunette beauty was okay or not. I didn't know what Emily looked like not okay. She did tell me that I was killing her. Or, our relationship was.

I told him honestly, "I'm not sure if she's okay. But she's Prentiss. She's hardcore. She's not affected by all the stuff."

He shook his head in disagreement. "Of course she is affected by it, JJ. She might hide it better, but she holds it in. At least we have people that we can talk to about our pain. I'm not sure that she has that."

My jaw dropped slightly. How could he know that better than I did? I wondered if I knew Emily Prentiss at all. I hated not knowing the answers to his questions. I hated not knowing the person I was close to in so many other ways.

I somewhat felt ashamed. I went to Emily every time I was hurting. I never let her come to me.

Emily told me that she didn't flinch because she compartmentalizes better than most. This was the first time I realized what that meant. It meant Emily hid everything from herself and everyone else. And now, more than anything, I wished that I was there for her more than the nights of sex that I offered her.

I thought back to the night I first went to her. I knew she was upset. I knew something was bothering her. And I ignored it. So that she could comfort me.

I knocked on her door. I looked behind me once before she opened the door. I felt like eyes were following me. I could still hear the growls and the sound the dogs made as they tried to attack, and the sound the bullets made as they pierced the skin of the animals.

She opened the door with tears in her eyes. I ignored them. I showed her the bottle of vodka I had brought in my purse.

Wordlessly, she moved to the side to let me enter.

I hadn't ever been to her apartment before. It was larger than I expected. But as a daughter of a political figure, I also wasn't surprised that she had money. Everything looked like a bachelor pad. I couldn't pinpoint one thing in the apartment that stood out to me that seemed like something personal to Emily.

I jumped when I heard her open the cabinet and bring two glasses over to me. She put the glasses down on the coffee table and took my hand and helped me sit down. She touched my face and I flinched away.

I poured the drinks and passed her one. I finished a whole glass in one sip. She watched me carefully.

Tears fell down my cheeks and she wiped them away. I opened my mouth and the words fell out like a croak.

"I used to love dogs."

She didn't have to ask me any questions. She just understood. She pulled me into a hug. I felt her body shake and I ignored it.

"You will love them again. I know it, Jennifer." She replied kindly as she let go and took another sip of the drink.

I tried to believe her. I wanted to. But her words of comfort didn't feel real to me.

In silence, we finished half of the bottle. I was too drunk to drive home. I stared at the woman in front of me. The woman who didn't flinch at the bodies or the pain or any of it. I wanted to be her in that moment of time.

I wanted to feel her. For a reason I couldn't even fathom, I pressed my lips against hers. She turned away. She looked hurt and afraid. I was surprised. The always confident Emily Prentiss looked embarrassed and ashamed.

"You don't want this. You're hurting," She whispered, her voice shaking as much as her body. "You'd regret it."

Pain rose up into my chest. I knew at that moment that someone in her life made her believe that they regretted being with her. I didn't comprehend how that could ever be possible.

"Emily," I murmured, pulling her hand to my mouth before I kissed it. "I could never regret you."

The lie fell out of my mouth. Maybe at that moment, I meant it. Maybe part of me hoped I did. Maybe I used her at that moment. Lied so that she would sleep with me. Whatever it was, it worked. Because only a few seconds later, her lips were on mine and the pain lessened. I didn't feel broken or traumatized. And at that moment I didn't regret it. But I would only a few hours later.

My eyes flickered back to Hotch and I was brought back to the present. He seemed to notice that I went somewhere else, but he didn't question me on it. I was grateful.

Sad flashback, I know. But I hope you see that JJ's feelings are much more complex than even Emily realizes. Not to say that JJ had any right using Emily. Neither of them are perfect.

Thank you guys so much for reading! Reviews are welcome and super duper appreciated!