hey everyone! sorry its been a little while since i posted the last chapter.

i keep saying ill post more frequently and ive been trying to do so!

and ive been failing miserably!

i hope you all still love me.

anyways, im not sure whats going on with this site but ive hear the good the bad and the ugly, so just in case i have created a tumblr account just for this story! now you can ask questions or submit things and have all the chapters right at your fingertips!

the site is: you-are-my-sunshine-part-1 . tumblr . com

and yes. fun fact. THIS IS ONLY PART ONE.

the next part will follow karkat and sollux instead of gamzee and tavros.

also thank you for being patient with me with chapter updates!

i love you all!

A sunken faced figure stared back at Gamzee.

Slowly the juggalo lifted a hand, as did the figure before him, placing a hand on his own face. They both blinked and they both frowned.

Gamzee turned away from the mirror and walked out of the bathroom," motherfucker I aint feelin so hot."

Karkat looked up from his computer," you look fine to me." He said bluntly and looked back down to his screen.

Gamzee rolled his eyes and lumbered over to Karkat and sat next to him," no seriously. I feel so…stuck in a rut."

"Well obviously. You haven't left the house, AGAIN. For like a month and a half. Gamzee you either need to get your sorry ass back to school or you need to get a job. I know Sollux takes care of everything but you need to help out too!" Karkat grumbled as he clicked on a link.

Gamzee nodded and leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling," how's he doin by the way?" Gamzee asked in a hushed tone.

"Sollux? What the hell are you talking about?" Karkat asked, turning to look at the blond.

"I'm talkin bout how he's been since the funeral." Gamzee said slumping forward, cocking his head towards the albino.

"OH. THAT." Karkat shut his laptop and thought for a moment. Slowly he picked the computer off of his lap and set it next to him," he hasn't been very…talkative. I'm honestly worried. I've tried to talk to him about it but….he's pretty unresponsive. He's said a couple things about it…like…how he wished he'd given the douche more time. But shit, that just makes me jealous….." Karkat rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

Gamzee nodded and stood, heading for the door," I'm trying again. You want to come with?"

"What with Tavros? Man I thought you'd have given up by now." Karkat stood and stretched a little," No. I'm staying here to deal with Sollux. You get the stutterer to talk I'll get lispy to talk." Karkat said smiling a little, it faded though as he walked into Sollux's office, hoping that he could somehow pull his lover out of his funk.

Gamzee quickly hurried out of the apartment; shutting the front door with a little more force than necessary. He hurried down the stairs and down the street, hoping that he wouldn't run into any more mishaps on his way to finally talk to his favorite stuttering friend.

As Gamzee walked on though, his pace slowed and thoughts filled his head.

He shoved his hands into his pockets; practically dragging his feet as he thought about the last time he tried to go talk to the boy.

Bang.

Blood.

Gamzee shook his head, trying to clear the image from his mind.

He dreamt of it though. It haunted him. Whatever he did, that image lingered at the very back of his mind. The look on Eridan's face plagued his every waking moment, and tortured him during the night.

Gamzee stopped and scratched the back of his head. Letting out a long sigh he raised his eyes from the concrete, blinking with surprise.

He was already across the street from the bookstore.

Nothing was happening.

The sun was even out; birds were chirping.

It was as if the world passed Gamzee and Eridan by. Like the world didn't even care that the boy had shot himself. That it didn't even care that Tavros had lost his legs.

It was funny.

Gamzee felt so small, for being so tall.

He pressed on though and quickly hurried across the street, his eyes glued to the doorknob of the bookstore the entire time.

Once he reached the door he shakily opened it.

Though the second his head raised to look in the shop, a book flew inches from his face and hit the wall beside him.

"I thought I told you to never come into this shop?! OUT!" Rosa snarled from behind the counter.

"OH SHIT! SORRY BRO!"

"I am not your bro! Miscreant!" Rosa soon was hurrying out from behind the desk.

"SHIT WELL SORRY SIR! MA'AM!? MISS?! FUCK STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME!" Gamzee yelled as he slid into the bookstore and hid behind a bookshelf," I just want to talk to Tavros!"

"NO!" Rosa yelled as she grabbed a broom from the corner of the store; rushing at Gamzee with it.

"FUCKING HELL MOTHERFUCKER DON'T CHASE ME WITH A BROOM!" Gamzee yelped loudly as he was hit repeatedly with said broom.

"Rosa! Rosa no! Stop it!" Tavros cried out as he rolled in from the back room.

Rosa glowered down at the teen but stopped hitting him and slunk back to the counter to put the broom away," Tavros I want him out. You know how I feel about him."

"I know I know just gimme a minute." Tavros said. He wasn't really stuttering. He spoke rather clearly actually and the way he shot a glance at Rosa seemed almost….strong? Confident?

Tavros turned his head and rolled out, pushing the door open with the front of his wheelchair and one strong arm. Once outside he leaned back in his chair and watched Gamzee hurry out of the store," sorry, um, about Rosa."

Then there it was again. The stutter, the mumble. What was that in there just now? Gamzee shook it from his mind and looked down at Tavros," you…uh you up and look healthy bro."

"Um…thanks. You…uh kinda don't." Tavros said leaning his chin on the palm of his hand as he looked Gamzee up and down.

Gamzee shuffled his feet," yeah…I don't really know what the motherfuck I'm doing anymore man…" The juggalo said with a long sigh.

"Why did you come here Gamzee? Um, what's your real reason that, uh, you came to see me?" Tavros said jumping right to the chase. He had a small frustrated crease in his forehead as he talked to the other teen.

Gamzee bit his lip and locked eyes with Tavros, not quite sure how to word things," I well…wanted to know…what are you an me? We had something…"

"Then I got hit by a car. Then you didn't talk to me. THEN YOU LEFT. THEN YOU NEVER CAME BACK!" Tavros began to yell, if he could stand he'd be beating his fists against Gamzee's chest, but the best he could do was grip his arm rests and prop himself up a little taller," you made me feel so alone…the things I heard about you were from Sollux or Karkat…I…just don't…Please don't….I um…I just…um…uh…want you….to…uh…" Tavros fumbled over his words as he sank back down into his chair.

Gamzee didn't expect what came next. The words were so simple, but they cut him to the core and left his heart to bleed.

"Go away."