Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
A/N: Hey my lovely readers. Here's the new chapter for you. Please Review! I love your reviews! ( I Dedicate the song Breathe Me by Sia.)
WATASHI NO KOKORO
Chapter 33
Breathe
...
I hope you find what you're looking for, Ichigo.
Abarai's red-brown eyes were faraway while he stood by the window, seeming to stare at something in particular out in the night.
Vizards. Where the hell did they come from? And what do they want from Kurosaki? Tsk. Ichigo assured that he'll be gone for a cause, and knowing the stubborn idiot -he will make it happen. But it's just hard to see the people close to him worry.
Renji had just came back from Karakura two weeks ago, though much reluctant to leave the eerie quietness that befell the town. He's getting close. Real close.
"Huh." He snorted at the irony of it all. This is the same window that the snake Aizen gazed out from, devising plans to overtake Sereitei, while I'm here now thinking of ways to stop the motherfucker...
"Shiro..."
A soft whimper interrupted his dark thoughts. Renji sighed, forgetting that he wasn't alone. He walked across the other side of the large office.
"Oi, Hinamori-san. Wake up, it's time to go home." He gently nudged his lieutenant and friend who was faced down on her desk, asleep. Momo focused her hazy vision on her captain's worried face.
"Huh? Oh, Abarai-kun, I did it again didn't I? I'm so sorry. I'll hurry up and finish, so sorr-"
"Stop apologizing. We're all caught up here." Since you've been unnecessarily staying late every night to do the work. "Are you sure you're okay, Hinamori-san?"
Knowing that he had asked her the question a few times before, and yet she insist she's fine every time. He even had Rukia drop by more often to come cheer her up but knowing Hinamori, she will do her utmost to not be a burden to anyone. This pretense of being 'fine' will only go on for so long. She's not fooling anyone.
Renji was glad to hear that Hitsugaya-taicho will be coming home soon from his two-month long assignment. The young captain was delegated as head of the whole mission in Karakura along with Kisuke and Yourichi. Strategizing to stop Aizen's true intent; to acquire the King's Key and overrule Sereitei by using the reiatsu-concentrated town.
It was during that emergency meeting two months ago that the child-prodigy took on the responsibility without any objections; unsurprisingly. Abarai recalled seeing Unohana-taicho's quick look of disapproval to the father-to-be.
Indeed, the captain needs to get back here soon and straighten whatever mess he left his wife with.
At first, Abarai thought it was just Hinamori's pregnancy symptoms combined with not having her husband around, but it turned out more serious than that. His suspicions confirmed when he accidentally opened one of the division's storage rooms, which used to be her old sleeping quarters. An opening that used to be a balcony was barred shut, leaving hardly any light to illuminate the chamber. There he saw an opened suitcase next to a futon, and Momo's distinct reiatsu indicated that she recently had been staying there.
"Tsk. Hinamori-san, I'm giving you some days off. Get some rest. Actually, get as many days necessary. Go spend time with your husband."
"Hai, I'm fine. But really, taicho. I don't need those days off."
"I insist."
Mou... "Hai."
…
...
Matsumoto was quite adamant when she barged in the 5th division headquarters to see her friend, leaving the girl with no choice but to agree and meet her at a restaurant for lunch the next day. But Momo had already planned on not staying that long.
"Well, I have to go, Rangiku-san."
"Nonesense, we barely just got here! And I haven't seen you in two months, Momo-chan! You didn't even eat. Shouldn't you be eating more for the baby?" Matsumoto noticed that Momo wore undereye makeup (though very subtle) and also that her friend is back to wearing that hideous hair bun. Something has definitely gone wrong.
"Hai...I eat just fine." With Unohana-taicho closely watching her diet, it was impossible to skip meals. "Rangiku-san –why are you crying?"
"What... the hell happened?" Her friend hiccupped, not able to contain the sobs as she used her pink scarf to dry the tears.
"It's nothing...oi, I'm seriously going to leave if you're just going to cry." Knowing she won't be able to withold the truth if her friend continues with the waterworks. No one really needs to know.
"Okay, sorry. I'll stop, geez." Sniffling now, "But what's going on? Taicho has been awfully distant and I don't think I've seen him sleep-"
"He's doing okay though, right Rangiku-san? He wasn't hurt?" A little too eager to know.
Rangiku sighed. "Of course he didn't get hurt or you would have heard about it. So, tell me what happened."
"Ah...ano...things were said and done. And...and I really don't want to talk about it, Rangiku-san. But anyway, how's everyone in the real world? Did you go shopping?"
Matsumoto withdrew her plans to try and get to the bottom of this. For now. "Hai, of course. But it would have been more fun if you got to go. Though it won't be for a long while until that happens, ne?"
...
...
The next day...
Hinamori was in her sleeping quarters sitting on the futon. Staring at her diamond ring that she still wore.
Go out. Get some fresh air. Tobiume suggested.
Hm.
The sun is still out. No purpose being useless in this dark and desolate place that you call a room.
Hm.
Tobiume sighed. I won't stop bothering you, you know. It's pretty awful in here when you're depressed like this. And think about the baby, it also feels your reiatsu. (That always gets her to snap out of her 'hide in the dark' mood.)
You're right. Sigh. It's just that it's Valentine's day today...eto...I don't think I can handle it out there.
Then go somewhere far where you won't be reminded of him.
Momo snorted. "That's everywhere I go." But already standing up to leave.
She decided to stop by the office to ask her taicho if he needs anything despite it being her day off, and was instead surprised. Rukia was perched on her taicho's desk, while Renji was standing and cradling her small face. Lips locked in an impassioned kiss, unaware of their audience.
A silent and amused "oh" escaped Momo's mouth before locking the door. Content to see the couple having their private moment. But Then leaned against the wall as the scene triggered a wave of painful memories. Using shunpo to quickly leave the place and go somewhere far, far away from here.
.…
….
She didn't get far, however. Almost as if there was something strong drawing her to this spot. It was their tree that overlooked the river. Hinamori touched the bark and peered up to the branches as if to say hello to an old friend.
The snow have all melted, replaced by the tall lush grass and the familiar sound of moving water relaxed her troubled thoughts as she decided to stay. Momo effortlessly jumped up on a branch and looked behind her before sitting down. Reminiscing when she could already pinpoint his head of white hair from the distance as he walked over the hill to come meet her here. Wishing he would indeed come.
She sighed. I really am pathetic. The guy practically told me to get out of his life. And I'm still hoping. Hinamori placed a hand over her flat stomach.
But I wasn't prepared for him to reject you, love...I'm so sorry.
Momo stopped the tears from falling, sniffling it away as she continued on with the silent conversation.
From now on it's just you and me, kid. Happy Valentine's Day. Hmmm and you know, I still have no idea what to name you...
She remembered that book of baby names in the 10th division sleeping quarters. Devising ways to acquire it without having to cross paths with her estranged husband. She had been back there a couple times while he was out on mission, albeit really quickly, to get some more of her stuff but just never thought of getting the books –
"Kyahhh!" So surprised that she tipped over and fell.
Kira broke her fall, catching her easily in his arms. "Baka Kira-kun!" She hit him on the head.
"Ow! Geez Hinamori-san, I didn't scare you on purpose!"
"Oh. Sorry. Uhmm...what are you doing here?"
"I train on the other side of that hill over there. I apologize, I really didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay...but can you put me down now?"
"Oh... Hehe. I felt your (very heavy) reiatsu, so I had to say hi. And I haven't had a chance to give you my congratulations." Still trying to grasp the idea that she's expecting. She doesn't look pregnant so it was easier for him to deny the fact.
"Well, uh...thanks! How's your training going?" Avoiding the touchy subject of her pregnancy as she sat on the grass, and patted the spot next to her.
"It's like pulling teeth, the usual. Oi Hinamori-san, what are you doing here on Valentine's Day?" Knowing the 10th division captain is back since Izuru was drinking with Rangiku last night.
"Uhh...oh you know, Toushiro have been busy getting debriefed by the soutaicho since just coming back from Karakura and all. So...there's always next year." Momo cheesily smiled. Phew! Good save!
"I see."
And they sat in companionable silence, just admiring the view.
"Happy Valentine's, Kira-kun..."
"And to you too, Hinamori." He reached to pluck a pink flower and handed it to her, "Here. I know it's not much." Izuru grinned but stopped when tears started streaming down her face.
"No...it's beautiful, it really is. And please don't mind me crying like this." Momo wiped the stupid tears and felt her stomach flutter, it was the baby trying to tell her something. And as if it was some innate instinct; she understood. She looked over her shoulder again, towards the hill.
"What is it, Hinamori-san?" Kira also glanced back to see and feel no one there.
"Oh, it's nothing." I thought I felt him. Must be my imagination. ...
"Kira-kun, you never seen my bankai have you?"
"No."
"Well, consider this your lucky day." She grinned as she stood up, getting ready to spar with her friend.
...
...
Matsumoto's eyebrow raised when her taicho came back from his 'walk.' Well, that was quick. For she could have sworn that he had another one of those small black velvet boxes in his hand before he left the office.
He's in a much fouler mood –as if that could be any more possible. What, he couldn't find her? That can't be.
Rangiku abandoned all tact. "Did she refuse your apology, is that why?"
His pen not moving for a second was answer enough.
"You know, taicho. Some disagreements cannot be mended with just material things."
"Mind doing me a favor, Matsumoto?"
"No of course not." This is the most he's uttered to me in two months! He had been so indifferent to her that she was starting to take it personal.
"Don't meddle like an old hag."
Matsumoto couldn't believe her ears. That was an insult!
"Fine. Good thing Momo-chan has finally come to her senses. Who would want to be with an ass like you?" She huffed and stormed out of the room. The loud sound of the door sliding shut echoed.
"Tch." His head bowed while he massaged the bridge of his nose. That didn't make him feel any better at all. It actually made him feel worse - -like that could be any more possible. Baka Toushiro.
Although, his outlook was somewhat hopeful about an hour ago when he had gathered up all courage and searched for Hinamori. He trudged on ahead, lost in his apprehension. He could distinctly remember that he wasn't even close to feeling this anxious when he was faced with his very first hollow.
He was willing to just forget about everything...even that incident with Kira. Toushiro could still feel his blood boil everytime he thinks about that kiss. But it's really not worth losing her over.
He knew it was going to be unbearable the minute he was assigned back to the mission two months ago, on that very day that they fought. And he did try calling her a few times, but her phone was off...is it too late? What have I fucking done?
Toushiro stopped asking himself when he felt her nearby; the only spiritual pressure that he had been focusing on since they got back yesterday. She's here. He felt hopeful. She still comes here.
He completely masked his own reiatsu just in case she runs away. Though it seems like someone would be able to hear his heart pounding through his shihakuso. The captain felt a drop of perspiration trickle down his temple as he slowly walked up the hill... and saw them peacefully sitting next to each other, like they've been there for hours.
She turns to Kira with a smile to mouth "happy valentine's" then he in turn plucks a weedflower and hands it to her.
Hitsugaya flash-stepped out of there the second he caught himself gaping, like a fool with his heart on the ground.
...
…
…
A week later...
"Rangiku-san, where's your taicho at?" Momo called her cell phone.
"Why, you want to talk to him?" Knowing full well why her friend calls every time she has to stop by the 10th division.
"No! Demo...I just wanted to know. I got something to drop off."
Matsumoto rolled her eyes, but was feeling a little mischievous. "He won't be back for awhile. He got called in for a private meeting with Yamamoto-soutaicho."
"Ok. I'll see you in a bit."
"Who's in a meeting?" Toushiro, who just came back from conversing with Ukitake right outside the office, asked his lieutenant.
"Oh, nobody."
...
…
In her haste, Hinamori wasn't minding the noise she's making as she searched the room; with the door left wide open.
Where is that book? It use to be by the bed. "It was blue. Hmmm..." She mused and stood in the middle of the room as she tried to remember where else it would be but was distracted when she saw the spiral staircase that lead to the balcony.
Momo walked over to touch the balustrade. Evoking with it pleasant memories...
She smiled. My wedding present.
Someone cleared their throat. "Can I help you with something?"
Her back stiffened, and she slowly turned to find Toushiro leaning against the doorframe. Her stomach did a little flip. Momo knew in that instant that her dreams doesn't do him any justice.
"Uhmm...no. Yes. Actually yes." She had to inwardly slap herself, "I'm looking for that book of... names." She couldn't bring herself to say baby in front of him.
"It's right over here." He walked past her to the bed and reached under the pillow. Then handed it to her.
Without looking up, she said, "Thank you. I'll return it as soon as I'm done."
"Hinamori, the book belongs to you."
"Right." She was about to bid him farewell but remembered something, "I have some reports for you from Abarai-taicho...crap!" As she clumsily dropped the whole stack on the floor. "Tsk. I'm so sorry."
Toushiro couldn't seem to say anything else; in case he might say something wrong and drive her away. So it was awkwardly quiet while he helped her pick up the papers. Although deliberately taking his time as he perused his wife's face, who was still avoiding to meet his eyes.
Their hands touched for a brief moment and instantly felt the familiar rush of each others' skin. It got even more awkward when she immediately pulled away. They stood up at the same time.
..."How are you, Momo?" Wanting to hear it directly from her, and not from his usual phone calls to Unohana.
She finally looked him in the eyes, "I-I'm fine, thank you." Then bowed, "Good day, Hitsugaya-taicho."
It felt cold to hear her say it but relief washed over him to see the rings still on her finger, as she clutched the book against her chest. "Good day, Hitsugaya-fukutaicho."
…
…
My own wife fucking hates me. Toushiro came to the realization after the slight shock from seeing Hinamori ebbed away. He couldn't concentrate for the life of him.
"I thought I told you not to meddle."
Rangiku was smugly filing her nails. "So what if I did. At least you got to see your wife, who's carrying your child by the way." She said matter-of-factly.
"Stop meddling! Haven't you done enough damage already?" He snapped before he could stop himself. Fuck.
"And what do you mean by that?" Now we're getting somewhere.
"Tch. Nothing. You can take your break now, Matsumoto."
"No. Not until you tell me what I did."
"You didn't do anything." He calmed down and resumed on his paperwork.
"Bullshit!" Rangiku stubbornly retorted while crossing her arms.
He sighed loud. "The party you held the night before the wedding. Kira and Momo were seen...kissing." Hitsugaya said it so low, struggling to keep his temper while waiting for her delayed reaction.
The rumble in her chest ascended to a full blown out laughter, and she laughed until tears came out her eyes.
Meanwhile, her taicho's aquamarine eyeballs shrunk; an expression of incredulity plastered on his face. "Oi, what's so funny?"
"Ittai...ittai... Okay, okay. I'll stop laughing now."
"Glad to have amused you."
Matsumoto was out of breath when she spoke, "You mean that drunken kiss that Kira snuck up on Momo-chan? The same one that earned him a punch in the face and a nose bleed?"
"Uh...how many other times were there?"
"My, my taicho. You need to put a leash on that green-eyed monster before it consumes you. But for your information, that was the only time they kissed. And if you don't believe me, ask Momo-chan." Rangiku now understood, "Oh wait, that's why you two fought in the first place! Because you didn't believe her, your own wife! Is this how this whole fight started? Geez taicho, not again. They're just friends you know."
Hitsugaya just remained quiet as more of the guilt gnawed at his gut. A little embarrassed too for just winning the biggest asshole award. Yoshi! Way to go, Toushiro.
"For being child-prodigies, you're the two most stupidest guys I have ever come across."
"Ah. Shut it, Matsumoto." Toushiro said, knowing full well who the other guy is.
It was quiet for a while until Rangiku laughed again, "You should have seen all the blood that spewed out his nose and eye, taicho. It was hilarious! That little Momo-chan can sure pack a punch."
And if one was close enough to see, a tiny hint of a smile could be detected. "Yeah, I know."
...
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A/N: Please Review! (Gin was also a child-prodigy, FYI.)