Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
A/N: To my avid reviewers...happy reading and keep doing what you're doing! Love you! Muah! Oh quick note, the 5th Division and 10th Division are at opposite ends of Sereitei, far away from each other. In my fanfic, at least. :)
WATASHI NO KOKORO
Chapter 35
...
...
"Oba-saan, have you seen Shiro-chan? Can't seem to find him anywhere." Hinamori asked from behind the elderly woman, who was meticulously watering the plants in her garden.
"I don't know dear. He'll turn up soon, the sun is about to go down."
Hmm...where could he be? She pondered, making that little knit in between her brows appear as she continued to search. Heading over to look for him in the same places again...
He's been acting strange and somewhat distant lately. Momo had to ask him a question twice to get his attention which is unusual, since he's normally so quick to respond. And that scowl...must he always look like the world is strapped on his shoulders?
"Ah, there he is!"
He was sitting on a hill, hunched over and holding his foot. "Kuso..." Picking a thorn that pricked his toe.
Umpf!
As Toushiro was tackled downhill, and pinned to the ground once the rolling ceased.
"Ha! Finally caught you off guard, Shiro-chan!"
Breathless and giggling, Momo was on all her fours; large brown eyes playfully gleaming. Her long ponytails dangling from the sides of her small face. He was indeed caught off guard for he just stared up at his best friend's face. Realizing that his mind just goes blank whenever she's close by nowadays... that is, when ever she gets a chance to be around.
This unexplainable haze would just appear, making her little movements seem slow and pronounced. Like when her long eyelashes would fan as she opens and closes her eyes, or the way her dainty fingers would tuck wisps of the now long hair behind her ears. Or that flawless face becoming animated when she tells a story, her perfect little teeth visible when she smiles and speaks; and her pink bottom lip glossy from just running her tongue across it... oh yeah, he's beginning to notice alright.
"Ack! Get off me Bed-wetter, geez." Dusting his arms once she moved and sat beside him.
"I was looking all over for you, where did you go?"
"Nowhere." Hating that white with the red-striped uniform that she now wears. It made her seemed restrained, belonging to something, controlled by someone...
"Well you're grumpier than usual." She snorted, "will it make you feel any better if I tell you that you've grown? Your head's past my shoulders now."
"It's always been past your shoulders, baka." Propping both his arms under his head and lying down on the tall grass. Hinamori placed her head on his stomach, lying perpendicular to each other as they quietly watched the dusky sky.
She sighed and confessed. "It's been kinda hard for me to find free time to go home, Shiro-chan."
"We don't ask you to come home, Bed-wetter."
"I know. But...I want to. Every chance I get."
"Those new friends that you talk about, Kabari and Rika or something, they don't keep you company?"
Momo giggled. "It's Abarai and Kira. And yes, we hang out but it's not the same." Turning serious again, "Even with having friends, I get so lost in the Academy, Shiro-chan, that I find myself...tsk. Never mind. You'll just say I'm being all 'stupid-girly.'"
"No, I won't."
"Yes. You would." Throwing a piece of grass on his face.
"Oi, stop that! Just tell me, geez."
Hinamori got up on her elbows and faced him. "Well, I start to miss you ...a lot." She said blushing, "And you're my best friend Shiro-chan. I hate to think that you'll start to forget me if I'm gone too long."
"Baka, you know that will never happen."
"And starting next week, I'll hardly get a chance to do anything else but train in the Academy. I already told Oba-saan that it might be in two years until you guys will see me again."
"Two years huh?"
"Yeah. But I'll always come back for you, Shiro-chan. No matter what."
"Hn." Already decided to join this stupid Shinigami school that got her all rapt in its organization. I'll be seeing you sooner than two years. He silently vowed as they were quiet once again.
"Mou...I miss Oba-saan too with her beautiful garden, her stories –her cooking! Oh and speaking of that, we have to get back, Shiro-chan. It's dinner time already."
"Oi, race you to the house, Bed-wetter!"
"Wish you would stop calling me that..and ha! Way ahead of you, shorty!" Momo pushed Toushiro aside as she ran past him, squealing when he caught up and held one of her ponytails in his hand. Their childish laughter resounding across the fields.
...
She's always been good at expressing herself – effortless. Like when she laughs. Meanwhile, I'm here...
It was 8:30pm in the captain's office.
Hitsugaya had to close his eyes tight, and shake himself off of the grogginess that clouded his mind before starting on the blank sheet of paper.
To Momo, My Best Friend and Wife...Crumple, crumple.
Dear Momo...Crumple.
To My Dearest Wife...Crumple, scrunch.
Ack.
To My Beloved Wife and Best friend...Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch.
The collection of balled up paper marred his usually immaculate desk.
Fucking hell. If I can't even start it how am I to finish this? He took in a deep breath before restarting again.
Momo,
I screwed up. Big time. I'm sorry.
From your idiot husband,
Toushiro the Idiot.
Rip. Rip. Rip. Scrunch. Scrunch.
"My my taicho, how can I sleep with all that noise you're making?" Said his lieutenant who had her head down on her desk.
"Oi, Matsumoto. I thought you left." Clearly so absorbed to have not noticed his drunk vice-captain asleep in the office for the past three hours.
"I had too much to drink during lunch." As she stretched and yawned. "But anyway, thank you for waking me up. Since I have a most pressing matter to attend to..." She continued while applying a fresh layer of makeup, "Renji had asked me to distract the Kuchiki noble guards, you see, so Rukia can leave her room unnoticed and meet him for a late-night rendezvous."
"Ah. Glad to know you're still of use around here."
"Taicho, you're just so full of compliments, ne?" She cheekily smiled.
"Don't mention it." He sighed and was standing up to head over to the bedroom; highly irritated, sleepy and exhausted.
"And a simple sorry is really all she needs to hear."
"Goodnight, Matsumoto."
...
Hinamori was intently focused on his reiatsu, surprised to find it in repose at such an early hour. Could it be he's already asleep?
Without the storm's chaos to give her cover, she was now much more keen of her surroundings. Stealthily flash-stepping on the rooftops. Though a little disappointed that the 10th Division gate guards were not as attentive as they should have been if someone were to indeed break in their taicho's chambers with the wrong intentions.
I should mention this to Rangiku-san in the future...crap, but she'll be suspicious on how I came upon an observation. I'll worry about that later. Although, my present intentions aren't really considered righteous in a sense...
Opening the door just wide enough so she can place the bakudo, then waited. Momo came in carefully closing and locking the door. Tip-toeing over the bed to check on her sleeping husband –whom she knocked unconscious. She opened a window to let some fresh air in, then slowly turned on the lamp to find Toushiro on his stomach, hugging her chappy doll. She choked back a giggle.
Her smile becoming tender as she carefully removed the stuffed toy and settled herself in its stead. Turning off the light... "Goodnight, Shiro-chan."
...
Three hours had passed and all was quiet as the moon cast the room in its soft dream-like glow.
"Mmm... Tou...shiro?"
Hinamori's small intake of breath was audible in the dark. Her teeth bit the side of the pillow and slender fingers gripped the sheets when the overwhelming sensation woke her. Starved, eager lips silenced whatever it was she had to say and whatever else she had in mind. His tongue was hesitant at first, probing softly, tasting and liking what he tasted. "Momo..." He whispered and continued on with his slow inquest in between her legs.
Her back arched as his hand reached up to touch her face. She instinctively caught his forefinger in her mouth, moaning as she bit and sucked on it. Hinamori used his arm to tug him upwards; her body was shaking from the need to have him much closer than this. "Toushiro...kiss me." He was there in an instant, as his mouth swept her lips in a fervent kiss. Momo can taste herself in his lips making her all the more aroused. Desire hung heavy as their tongues collided, tasting each other once again. Bodies sensually moving, molding.
Momo could feel the throbbing bulge that's confined by his hakama rubbing against her thighs, as she reached down to release him. She was already so wet for him. Could feel the sheets damp from underneath her as she guided his engorged shaft, Toushiro instinctively thrust his hips at the same time. She winced and bit her bottom lip to stop a cry –for it hurt this time. It had been awhile since they last made love...
"Hina...mori...Hinamori. My Hinamori." Toushiro whispered against her neck, with a touch of desperation in his voice.
His voice eased the pain and reverted Momo back to her impassioned state as he slowly started to move. They were both heavily panting, the sound intermingled along with their incoherent moans – wanton and uninhibited.
Her pleasure becoming unbearable as she took all of him in, whimpering while her nails dug into his back; tears of release streaming down her face. Hitsugaya's reiatsu spiked, raising himself up with palms flat on either of her as he drove in and out faster. Momo had to bite down on her bottom lip from both the sweet sensation and to keep her teeth from gnashing. Her hands now tight against his firm buttocks facilitating in his climax.
Toushiro finally tilts his head up and she watched the muscles on the sides of his neck constrict as he emptied inside of her. Collapsing when all the spasms in his body ebbed.
Hinamori was thankful that she didn't see his eyes fully open, not once, the entire night. And gave forth a small satisfied sigh before snuggling in his arms to sleep...
A vigilant guard's smile was hidden in the night as one wouldn't have to wonder what the young taicho and his wife were doing from the sounds that came out of the window. It's about damned time! He snorted. For the captain's mood reflects the degree of their training sessions as of late.
We sure could use a break.
...
Three hours later.
Hinamori woke up with a gasp, a hand clutching the sheet against her naked chest. She hurriedly left but not before making sure everything was back in its place.
...
***Ding****Ding...***Ding ***Ding
"Byakurai."
Without looking, Hitsugaya summoned the hadou and fired a bolt of white light from his finger, piercing the clock as it broke in half.
Not because he was too groggy to get up. But mainly because he didn't want to wake up from the most amazing dream, and from a most restful sleep that he have had in months. He hugged the stuffed chappy doll tighter.
It was so vivid, almost...real.
Turquoise eyes abruptly opened to the empty space beside him.
Huh. Almost. There's the catch.
"Tch." Toushiro reluctantly got up, unsurprised to find an annoying full-on erection stretching his hakama.
"Kuso..." He cursed as he heads to the bathroom for a cold shower.
...
Lunch time at the 5th Division...
Rukia was trimming Hinamori's long dark hair, as she had just finished with Renji's.
"Oi Momo-chan, did you and Hitsugaya-taicho make up already?" Rukia asked before she could stop herself. She's usually not this forward, but it was just hard to see her pregnant friend depressed. Although Momo looked much better today, now engrossed in cleaning her taicho's zankpaktou.
"Ahh...uhh...well, no." Hinamori just gave in and sighed.
"How come? You think he might be scared to approach you, knowing he messed up immensely?"
"I don't know Rukia-san. But scared? No, he's not scared of anything."
"Pssh! Right. But anyway, Renji and I kind of have an idea of what happened."
"Oh, I see. Ehehe. Uhmm... I really don't want to talk about it-"
"Please hear me out-"
"Rukia, she said she doesn't wanna talk about it." Renji interrupted, while leisurely eating his lunch and reading the newspaper.
"Mind your own business, boke! We're having our girl-talk here."
Abarai propped his legs up on the desk, and mumbled to himself (though loud enough for Kuchiki to hear) "You should mind your own damned business..." Clearing his throat as he spread and hid himself behind the Sereitei Journal.
"So anyway, Momo-chan, I think Hitsugaya-taicho was just jealous."
"Hai, extremely so. But I married him, Rukia-san, and I'm having his baby! You think that would be enough proof and security?"
"Ichigo is madly in love with Orihime, you think that blockhead over there would stop getting jealous everytime I go to the real world? Might I also add that I'm almost a century older than Kurosaki? Geez. They're all so dense Momo-chan, tensai or not. It's the male reiatsu, makes them always want to control things –especially the women in their lives."
"Abarai-taicho –really? Over Kurosaki-kun? Ridiculous."
The redhead was heard clearing his throat again, pretending not to eavesdrop.
Kuchiki rolled her eyes at the captain, and continued, "However Momo-chan, I'm not saying to go and forgive him this instant nor am I saying to go easy on him. But I want you to take into account that they don't think straight when jealousy takes over. They become blinded by this stupid kind of rage, say things they don't mean, get a tattoo of your name on their crotch area-"
"OI RUKIA, WHAT THE FUCK?"
The girls broke out laughing from seeing the comical expression on Abarai's face.
...
(A/N: Dedicate Say All I need by OneRepublic in this scene)
The hem of his white haori flapping against the delicate gust of a spring breeze. He ran a hand through his hair, a little self-conscious but determined as he straightened to compose himself and looked up.
An hour had passed since he had started to watch the light coming from her room, closing his eyes as he inhaled deep and taking a steady step forward.
This is it. Wish me luck.
Aquamarine orbs suddenly opened when her reiatsu became indiscernible; curious now as her lights turned off. Hitsugaya saw a shadow on the 5th division rooftop before it flash-stepped swiftly on ahead. He heedfully followed, concealed in the darkness. Where is she off to?
He slowed his pursuit. A late night rendezvous perhaps... as an emptiness so cold came with the realization. Knowing he won't be able to take it, to bear witness if indeed his speculations are true – he appeared before her.
She gasped, too shocked to be caught and much too surprised to see that it was Toushiro standing two feet in front of her. The full moon illuminated half his form.
"Where are you going?" He asked evenly.
That's why she couldn't detect his reiatsu because he masked it! And what is he doing here? Did he figure it out?
"I-It's none of your concern." Her eyes wide, though becoming defensive.
"Ah. I see." He looked down like he didn't expect that answer from her at all. "I guess you're right." It's been three months, she could very well have found someone else. I did this, I drove her away.
"And why... are you here?"
Toushiro faced Momo now as her question jogged his reasons, desperately still holding on to that faint glimmer of hope. Her loose hair gently fluttering in the wind, she looked ethereal though defiant with fists clenched on her sides; her brown eyes narrow.
"I came to apologize, for everything. I want," he swallowed the obstruction in his throat, "–Hinamori, I want...I need you back." And he kissed her then... but it didn't feel right. She didn't respond.
Fuck. I am too late. But he was undeterred, tightening his hold when she tried to pull away; letting his lips linger for the last time.
"Let go...of me!" As she struggled and finally was able to push herself off from him.
Momo's eyes flashed, angry while his were downcast. Certain that this is a battle already lost.
"I'm sorry, Hinamori."
She was staring at his chest, confused and still hurt. Treated like some thing that can just easily be cast away and then expected to just stand there and wait until needed again.
"You told me to leave, and now...now you want me back?"
"I didnt mean for you to leave us. Just the vicinity at that precise moment. I didn't want you to get hurt, at the time I was so mad that I lost control of-"
"How do I know you won't do it again?"
"It won't happen again."
"We made all sorts of promises that we should have kept, Toushiro."
"Trust me-"
"Like how you trust in me?"
Good point. He smiled, though devoid of humor. "I know I hurt you. I'm sorry."
"And I heard you... the last two times." He didn't notice the slight quirk on the corner of her mouth when she said it, so focused on avoiding her stare. They stayed just standing there. Momo's temper now abated while Toushiro was at a loss, falling deeper into his guilt.
He reached for her hand, and brought it up to his lips, brushing them against the back of her fingers and lightly grazed his thumb over the diamond ring, "I've kept you long enough...you should go." Looking at her chin as he caressed her face, uncertain if he could endure the heartbreak to come.
"Huh? Go where?" Momo was in a bit of a daze.
"Wherever you were off to before I interrupted."
"Oh. Right." Momo couldn't look him in the eyes. Toushiro got the hint. He turned to leave but she tugged his hand back, "Wait, Shiro-chan-"
Hope suddenly became tangible again when she said his nickname. He kissed her again, a little more gentle this time. His heart leaped when she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Hitsugaya was holding her tight, lifting her about two feet from the ground so they're eye level, her feet now dangling. He broke off the kiss and with their foreheads touching he closed his eyes to ask, not sure if he would be able to handle the rejection but just needed an answer regardless.
His jaw clenched. "Tell me Momo, am I too late?"
"Hmm...late for what?" Reeling from the kiss.
"I need to know if I still have a chance." Though inwardly knowing he won't easily give her up. He just can't.
"Toushiro...you think I already found someone new?"
He opened his eyes. "Isn't that where you were heading to?"
Mou..."You still don't trust me-"
"No, it's not that I don't trust you, love, but it's because I must have driven you away to find someone else...someone better."
"Better?"
"Yes. Because I'm an idiot."
"Yes. Yes, you are."
Her laugh was muffled by his mouth. She could feel the smile on his lips as he continued to passionately kiss her face, her temple and forehead; burying his hand in her hair and holding her close. Exhaling in the process for his relief was much too great to express anything in words. …
Three drunken shinigami passed by, two were arm in arm, trying to hold each other up. The other still able to walk – holding a bottle of sake. One of them glanced up and chortled,
"OooOoh...oi, oi, you two up there – hic – get a room!"
"Yeah...oi! You two, oi, like he said, hic –GET A ROOM!" Snickering like he just came up with the original joke.
"Be quiet! Shhhh! It's Hitsugaya-taicho and his wife, you retards!" Dumbfounded when he discovered who it was and apparently not as inebriated as his other two companions.
Momo giggled as the officers quickly tottered away.
"Tch. Sorry. Two of them are in my division." Already devising ways to make the obstacle course part of the squad's training more difficult tomorrow.
"Don't be so hard on them, taicho." She added softly, pulling him closer by the front of his robes and placed her ear just right above his heart.
"Fine, I won't." ...
Hinamori now buried her face against his chest, slowly shaking her head as she plead. "...I'm done with fighting, Shiro-chan. It's exhausting."
It killed him to hear it, holding her tighter as he kissed the top of her head. "I know...I know. I'm so sorry, Momo."
She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist and sighed...
"Toushiro?"
"Yes?"
"So you were just going to let me go if I were indeed to meet with someone new?"
"...I was going to follow you. Then who knows what I would have done." Murdered him is what I would have done. Cringing inwardly at the quick flash of a mental scene where Hyourinmaru was covered in blood with a severed blond head on the floor.
"If you must know baka, I was on my way to get some sleep."
"...Sleep, where?"
"Home." Momo smiled when he still looked confused. She wriggled out of his embrace and held his hand, "Come follow me and I'll show you where."
...
A/N: Phew! Holy moly! This was a hard chapter. Hope you like. Please Review.