A/N: I am absolutely humbled by the reception I have received for this story. Although, I realized I forgot to mention that each chapter will be told in a different character's point of view. Don't worry, we'll have more of Gale's views soon enough.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, its characters, or places. Just a PC and an overactive imagination.
Chapter 2 – The Bumpy Road Ahead
Oh, how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now
We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close, so close and still so far
"So Close" Jon McLaughlin
Gale Hawthorne. His name escapes my lips before I can stop them. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, like acid. I can feel the anger boiling inside of me for no reason; though I have no valid reason to be mad. I think it's the idea that this man – the one who spent countless hours in the restricted boundaries of the woods with my wife – has decided to suddenly reappear in our lives without so much as a letter. Ok, so Gale and I were never friends. We had no reason to keep in touch, but the pain of losing him took a toll on Katniss when we first returned home. She would never admit it, but she did miss him despite what had happened in the Capitol and to Prim.
I can hear my father's voice in the back of my head telling me to give him a chance. Hear him out the ghostly voice says. After all, he and Mr. Everdeen had been on good terms once too. But the teenager in me shouts in protest. I can't fight the feeling that he is here for my wife. There are a million things I can say to him right now. A million more I want to say, but I hear my voice escaping my lips yet again, betraying my mind.
"It's good to see you," I've said.
Gale raises a brow at me. He's just as confused as I am at my words. It is not good to see him. Honestly, I could care less. We were not friends. The predicament we found ourselves in 15 years ago my never allow us to be. I clear my throat and look at the pudgy figure poking Gale's leg.
"Aden," I call, "come here son." My three-year-old come running over to me as fast as his chubby little legs will carry him. He's waving some stick around, holding it out to me proudly.
"Look, Daddy! I found a stick!" Aden shouts excitedly as he presents me with the broken tree branch.
I can't help but smile. He is always trying to please Katniss and me. "Now that is one quality stick. Why don't you bring that inside and show Momma? I'm sure she'll love it. Juliet, can you take him inside? And let your mother know he escaped Haymitch again."
My daughter nods her head silently as she takes her brother's hand and leads him inside; leaving me alone with Gale. We stare at each other in silence for what feels like an eternity. I can tell he is doing the same thing I am: sizing the other man up. I'm trying to figure out his motives while he tries to make sense of what he's come across. It's no secret Katniss never wanted to marry or have children. Yet, she is married and she has kids. Two kids. With me. I clear my throat and stand firmly at the top steps of my porch.
"Cute kids," Gale says finally.
"Thanks. They get it from Katniss." The mention of her name makes Gale flinch ever so slightly. He had to have known we were married, but I can tell he's been in denial. Or he really didn't know. My guess would be the first option. "I don't mean to be rude, but can we cut the bullshit? We're two grown men. There's no need for either of us to lie."
"Fair enough," he sighs as he removes his military hat and runs his fingers through his dark hair. Looking at him now, I can see how much Gale has changed. His gray eyes have dark circles under them, telling me he hasn't slept very well for a while. The slight hint of gray around his ears informs me he has been stressed too. Probably from work. He left 12 to work for the military in 2. For years his face was flashed on television every time they visted District 2 to talk about weapons. He was their poster boy. He doesn't look like the young hunter coming to my father's bakery to trade squirrel for a few loaves of bread. I suddenly feel bad for him. From what I hear from Hazelle, Gale's work consumes his life. She's mentioned a woman in her son's life a few times, but I was only listening to be polite to be honest. One thing Hazelle has said that sticks out in my mind is that Gale and his wife divorced recently.
But in my eyes, he is still the boy from the Seam that loved my girl.
"I just thought I would stop by and…" I laugh inwardly and shake my head, stopping him from talking.
"Because you were in the neighborhood? Come on. I thought we were gonna cut the bullshit, Gale," I say. It came out ruder than I meant.
"I just got back, ok?" he bites back. "I thought I would come say hello." I'll give him that. It isn't the whole truth, but I'll give it to him. "So," he starts again, "you and Katniss…" I just nod. No need to rub it in. "Good. I'm glad she's happy."
"We are." I shift a bit from my artificial leg to my real one. "Um, look, today's kind of a big day. We'll have to be on our way soon so we're not late." For some reason, I don't want him to know too much about my personal life. "Maybe you could stop by some other time." Again, the words escape my mouth before I could stop them. Honestly, I don't want him to come back.
Suddenly, I remember this feeling set deep into my bones. It's jealousy. I'm jealous of this man and I have no reason to be.
"I understand," he says. Does he really? Does he understand I don't want him around my family? Does he understand I feel awful for feeling wary of him for no good reason? I doubt it. "I'll take you up on that offer though. Some other time." He gives a half-assed smile as he puts his hat back on.
He's trying to be nice, I tell him. But my brain won't listen to reason. I convince myself there is cockiness behind that smirk and I want to knock it right off his face. Gale has turned and is headed down the street when I hear the front door open behind me. I relax instantly and smile as my family emerges.
"Hey," I smile at Katniss before giving her a quick kiss. "Took you long enough."
She frowns at me. "Well, if you hadn't sent your son in to be disciplined by me, I would have been out sooner," Katniss retorts.
"Why is he my son when he does something bad?" Katniss just glares at me for a moment. "Ok, he's mine when he's doing something bad." I look down at the mini version of me. "Come on you little rebel. Let's take sister to school." I scoop Aden up in my arms and he bursts out in a fit of giggles. I smile at Juliet and hold her had as Katniss takes her other.
"Seriously Peeta, you can't always be the nice one," Katniss says as we make our way down the street. "They're going to walk all over you and they'll hate me."
"I don't hate you Momma," Juliet states.
"I love Momma!" Aden exclaims.
"What a coincidence, I do too!" I joke. Katniss just shakes her head and rolls her eyes at us. I hear her mumble that we're crazy too. "Hey, you're stuck with the crazies. We're the Maniac Mellarks!"
Katniss can't help but laugh now. She tries to resist a lot, but it's futile. I can't blame her though. For half our lives, there wasn't much to laugh or smile about. Death lingered in the air in District 12. Disease, famine, and tragedy claimed the lives of our people daily. It was one of the reasons she fought me for so long on having kids. Even though our lives were significantly better after the war, she was still afraid that history would repeat itself. She didn't want to risk our children being reaped and forced to participate in the Games like we had. I shared the same fears, but I had to have faith that our new government would work. I didn't want that to be the reason we didn't have kids.
"So who were you talking to?" Katniss suddenly asks.
"What?" is my response. I sound and probably look like an idiot, but she's caught me off guard. Does she know who had come to visit?
"I heard you talking to someone earlier after you sent the kids inside. Juliet said it was a Peacekeeper. Is everything ok, Peeta? Are we in trouble?"
I shake my head quickly. "No, no. We're not in trouble. It was just…someone catching up." I don't know why I didn't tell her. I want to blame it on the rising panic, but I'm not even sure why I would be panicking right now.
After the war, the Peacekeeps' duties changed. Instead of demanding order and inflicting fear, they did what their job titles said. They kept the peace. They enforced new laws, but were never forceful or threw around their authority. Juliet probably thought that Gale was a higher ranking Peacekeeper. It's not like we see them a lot. There isn't really a need for them in 12. Not much crime in our streets.
"Do we even know any Peacekeepers? What did they want?"
"We know…some." I'm doing my best to avoid getting too into this conversation. It's stupid for me to keep Gale's visit from Katniss, but I need more time. I need time to figure out what to tell her; why I turned him away; what will this mean for us. Plus, I didn't really want to talk about it in front of the kids. Just in case we argue. Great, now I'm anticipating a fight.
We're near the school now. The kindergarteners are lining up outside according to gender and last name, just as we always had. I realize that Katniss has slowed our pace. We are barely moving at this point. I look over at her and there's something in her eyes. Fear.
"Katniss, sweetheart? What's wrong?" I ask.
She's shaking her head now. "Maybe…maybe this isn't a good idea. Maybe we should just take her home," she says. "She can start next year. Or not. Maybe we can homeschool her."
"Homeschool?" I say in disbelief. "When are we going to have time for that? I work and you have Aden the Sugar High King to deal with." Aden is a handful. It's like he was born with sugar in his veins instead of blood. It doesn't help that I sneak him a few sugary treats now and then. Ok, I give it to him like it's water. But who can say no to him? Not me, that's for sure.
"We can make it work," Katniss says in frustration. "I don't…I'm not sure she's ready."
I sigh. I know what that translates into. "You mean you're not ready." I put Aden down, keeping a firm grasp of his plump little hand. "Katniss, listen to me. It's going to be ok. She's a big girl. She's smart, witty, and very independent; just like her mommy. We did a good job, my love. She's ready."
I can see the internal struggle going on in Katniss's mind. She knows I'm right. Juliet is brighter than any kid her age, and I'm not just saying that. She reminds me of Katniss so much. She even sings like her mother. But I know Katniss is having a hard time letting go. Juliet is our baby. Our first child. And now she's a big girl going off to school. She's not even nervous. I think the fact that she doesn't seem to need us to hold her hand while she walks into that classroom makes this even harder for my wife.
All she wants to do is protect our baby girl; keep her from any and every harm that can come her way. Katniss was always like this – protective that is. She took care of her family for a long time after her father died. She practically raised Prim. When we were in the arena, she took care of and saved me. She did all she could to protect those she loved. Even Gale. Even I have to admit that she loved Gale so many years ago.
I look down at Juliet who has become impatient, trying to pull her hand from mine and Katniss's. She is ready.
"She's going to find out," Katniss whispers. "They'll tell her what happened."
I nod. She's right. They'll tell the children about the Hunger Games. They'll tell them how children, not much older than them, were forced to kill one another in order to go home to their families; only to be haunted by the faces of the ones they couldn't save or those of the ones they had taken lives from. They would tell our daughter – and eventually our son – about the role Katniss and I played in these Games. But that day isn't today. They aren't going to scare five year olds with tales of murder.
"When they do, we'll tell her what really happened," I tell Katniss. "We'll explain everything to her. I promise." I pull my wife close to me and kiss her temple as she holds onto me tightly.
I hear the sound of feet running, accompanied by the deep heave of someone that is trying to steady their breath. I turn around and figure out why. Haymitch.
"He, uh, got away," my old mentor says as steadily as he can.
"I can tell," I frown. "How long did it take you to notice?"
"I noticed right away!" he shouted, clearly offended. "Well, once I woke up."
"Seriously? You fell asleep when you were supposed to be watching our son?" Katniss asked angrily. "I knew we should have taken him to Hazelle."
"Grandpa Haymitch!" Aden shouts, holding his arms out to the older man.
"See, he wants to come to me. He loves me," Haymitch says in a matter-of-fact tone.
"He loves your geese," I point out.
"Just give him here already." Haymitch takes Aden from my arms. "Your Pop's a smart a…"
"Don't teach him that word Haymitch Abernathy or so help me God!" Katniss scolds.
"I was going to say 'alic.'" For the record, he wasn't going to say 'alic.' He's whispering something in Aden's ear as they walk away, making the blonde boy giggle again.
"Maybe we should be worried about him," I say to Katniss.
"Aden's smart like his daddy. He'll be fine," Katniss smiles.
"I was talking about Haymitch."
After taking Juliet to school and sitting through thirty minutes of listening to the teacher explain what they kids will be doing their first week (I may have fallen asleep standing up…and snored. Loudly.), I headed off to the bakery for work. Katniss decided to come with me. She was still sulking about having to leave her mini me at school. I made her cheese buns to keep her distracted. When it was time to get Juliet, I could barely hear her shout a quick goodbye before she was out the door. Once she was gone, I was left alone to think about how to approach the Gale situation.
I knew what I should do. What I'm supposed to do. I have to tell Katniss he had come by looking for her. Maybe I'm over thinking everything. It may not be as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. I just can't shake the feeling that there's something I should be aware of. Something I should be worried about. Paranoia isn't good for me. When I almost burn some loaves of bread, I decide that I need some time alone to think. I head upstairs to my office and just sit in the dark rubbing my temples. The last thing I need is an episode.
It's been so long since I've had one. Since the kids were born, I've only had two bad ones. They were both too young to remember it, but I do. I'll never forget them. I've been good at stopping them before they hit or leaving before they come. If anything were ever to happen to my family because of me, I would never be able to live with myself. I look up at the clock and sigh. I didn't realize how long I've been up here until I saw the clock. I head downstairs, pack up some bread for the house, and close up.
Word has spread about Gale's return like wildfire. People are staring as I pass. They whisper around me and some stop talking completely. There's nothing to worry about, I tell myself over and over in my head. I need to believe that more than anything. Once I get home, I'm greeted by the delicious smells of dinner and my family. Juliet is telling me all about her first day at school in excruciating detail. Aden is just making noises, trying to be a part of the conversation and louder than his sister. I do hear him say something about Haymitch getting bit by Delilah the Goose in his "special" place. Maybe that's why I saw the annoying creature mucking around my front yard, honking at me until I tossed it a piece of bread.
I hate those birds, but they keep Haymitch occupied and the kids love chasing them.
Dinner is delicious. Katniss made a rabbit stew with the rabbit she shot and skinned yesterday. The cookies I've brought home are now dessert. When Katniss is clearing the kids' plates from the table, I slip them extra treats. They giggle thinking their mom doesn't know, but I know she does. She always does, but pretends not to.
After cleaning up the kitchen, Katniss and I take the kids upstairs and get them ready for bed. I'm trying to scrub Aden clean of the dirt he's collected throughout the day as Katniss braids Juliet's hair. I can hear her humming softly which makes me smile.
"Why you smiling Daddy?" Aden asks.
"Because I love when Momma sings," I whisper back to him.
After his bath, I attempt to get Aden into his pajamas. Suddenly I'm regretting the extra treats. He's a maniac, running around the second floor of our house in his diaper screaming as I try to catch him. I slip on a small puddle of water that's dripped of his tiny body and go down hard. Katniss and Juliet come out of the room to check on me. Aden stopped running, but now he's hiding behind the banister. Katniss tells me she'll handle our sugar demon and orders me to the room. I'm not terribly hurt. Just a little bit of my pride. My artificial leg stops me from being the kind of father I had hoped I would be. I can't run like the other dads and chase after my kids. Katniss won't allow it. I also get winded quicker. I don't have full control over my left leg and it can get exhausting.
I shut the door behind me as I sit on the edge of my bed. I have to sit down to take my damn pants off or I'll fall. It can be frustrating to be me sometimes. I hate being treated like a baby. I almost slipped in the shower once and Katniss suggested we get a seat or put rails in there for my "convenience." Let's just say I wasn't too happy with that. I know she meant well, but I don't want to be treated different. But I know I am. What pisses me off more than people feeling sorry for me is feeling sorry for myself.
I'm sitting on the edge of the bed in my boxers and a plain white tee shirt staring at my fake leg – sometimes I don't see the point of calling it by a fancy name. It is what it is, fake – when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me.
"You ok?" Katniss whispers in my ear. I just nod. "He feels really bad you know."
"He shouldn't. I'm fine," I sigh.
"I told him he needs to be careful with you."
I let out another sigh. This time it's out of frustration. I wiggle out of her embrace and shake my head. "Don't."
"Don't what?" I can hear the hurt in her voice. I've done it now.
"Don't treat me like I'm some glass doll. I tripped. Shit happens."
"Peeta." Her voice is stern. I never talk to her like this. I don't even know why I am now. That's a lie. I do know why.
"Gale's back in town," I blurt out. "He came to the house earlier and I told him to leave. That's who Juliet saw when she said there was a Peacekeeper here."
I can't bring myself to look at my wife. I feel…ashamed. I kept this from her and there was no need. I don't know what's gotten into me. I feel her arms around me again, but I don't try to escape them this time. Maybe she'll strangle me. I'm surprised when I feel her lips on my neck, leaving soft butterfly kisses there.
"Did you hear what I said?" I ask.
"Mmhm," is all I get back.
"You're not mad?"
She removes her lips from my neck for a moment. "Why would I be?"
"I didn't tell you?"
She laughs in my ear. "So? Peeta, it's ok. You told me now. We'll talk about it tomorrow, ok?" I shrug. Honestly, I'm a bit confused. She's blowing this Gale thing off. There has to be a catch. Her hand travels to my left leg where my real leg ends and the artificial one begins. She strokes the area gently and lovingly. "Tonight," she says, "I want to spend the night with my husband."
I smirk, turning my head to catch her lips. I hold her face in my hands as I roll on top of her. No matter how much time passes, I'll never get tired of kissing her and holding her. She's tugging at the hem of my shirt and I break apart long enough for her to toss it aside and for me to get hers off of her. Her hands are on my chest, moving slowly over my skin when she pulls back from our kiss.
"By the way, Johanna's coming to stay with us for a while," she says.
And there's the catch.