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A/N: Please review. That's all I ask :( ...Oh, and also mention favorite parts! :)

WATASHI NO KOKORO

CHAPTER 38

The Perfect Weapon

"That necklace is so kawaii, Peachy-chan! It matches your ring." Pointing at the heart-shaped 15-ct diamond pendant around Hinamori's neck.

"Thank you, Yachiru-chan. It's my birthday gift from him." Her stomach did its butterfly flip when she remembered how she came upon the present four months ago.

It was on the morning of her birthday. Momo was sitting on the edge of the lounge chair in the balcony, meditating with Tobiume when she felt his cool fingers clasp something behind her neck. Her hand instinctively went to her collarbone to touch the long delicate chain, eyes becoming wide when she now held the pendant in the palm of her hand.

"Now before you start...I clearly remembered what you said about not buying an elaborate gift." He sat down behind her to explain. She turned to face him with one of her brows raised, as if to ask 'and what part of that didn't you understand?'

"I didn't break the rules since I've had this waay before your birthday, so it doesn't really count."

"I see." Momo said, sounding a little resigned. It was quiet for a while as her eyes now back to inspect the brilliant stone, with a small smile on her lips. "It's a heart..."

"My heart. It's not much, but it's yours...it's always been."

"..."

"Oi, don't cry Momo. Please."

"It's the most beautiful thing... It may not mean much to you, but to me it's...everything."

His thumbs wiped the tears that streamed down her cheeks as he held her face. "I didn't mean to upset you even more, I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "I'm not upset, Shiro-chan. I'm just thankful...and pregnant! Ugh. These mood swings are off the scale!" Momo rolled her eyes out of exasperation, then bowed to place her forehead apologetically against his chest. Not wanting to address the real reason why she's in such a sorrowful state.

Toushiro somberly smiled, kissing the top of her head and inhaling her fresh, sweet scent... the phone in his pocket beeped. He closed his eyes with jaws noticeably clenched. "Kuso..."

"Shiro-chan please, it's okay. Just go." She plead without looking at him, yet contradicting her words as she tightened her hold on the front of his haori; silently begging him to stay.

"After all this is over, I promise never to work on your birthdays." He vowed.

"Hm... that would be nice. Like our own personal holiday." Trying to make light of things.

"Yes... I'm sorry, but I'll make it up to you. I promise." His phone beeped once more. "Hell, I'll marry you again." He crookedly smiled though devoid of humor.

Hinamori finally glanced up to meet his eyes, the aquamarine pools never looked so distressed. "All I need is for you to come back safe and sound –and nothing else."

"I will."

"I love you, Toushiro."

"And I love you. Both. Please be safe."

Their lips were reluctant to break away from the parting kiss. But alas, he had to leave as Hinamori watched her husband shunpo up to the roofs. Headed towards the Senkaimon gate that's awaiting his arrival for yet another emergency mission in the real world.

Kurosaki Ichigo finally came back from his hiatus and they needed Hitsugaya to help gather and analyze some data. Then also to test the substitute-shinigami's newfound sense of control...

Phew! But thank goodness that the mission only lasted a week. And seven days without Toushiro was already long enough! Although he made sure to call every night and would stay on the phone line until she fell asleep...

"Ready, Peachy-chan?" Yachiru asked, disrupting Hinamori's reverie. She snapped out of it and waved to Toushiro who was a little far-off to the side. He was sitting under a tree on top of a hill; reading a book.

He saw her then. Seated behind Kusajishi on the motorcycle with her arms around the pink-haired girl's waist. Toushiro subtly raised an open palm and waved once. Trying hard not to show his sudden anxiety to see the bubble-headed girl taking control of the bike with his wife as the passenger.

"Yo, Zaraki-taicho."

"Ah."

"Kusajishi ever driven one of those things before?"

"She's got a scooter."

"That's not the same." A vein started to appear on the back of his head. Regretting his agreement with Momo to spend this Saturday afternoon with the reckless duo.

"Relax, Hitsugaya. Your wife just taught her how so she should be okay. Here, have some sake." Handing the white-haired captain the bottle.

"No thanks." Said Toushiro who now stood up to watch the girls zoom across the fields. Their laughter drifting off in the distance as Yachiru drove the bike even faster while Hinamori had her arms up in the air.

"Weeeee! Ahahaha! Peachy-chan, this is awesome!" Yachiru could be heard exclaiming as they disappeared behind a hill, causing Hitsugaya to be more concerned; a bead of sweat now visible on his forehead.

A loud scream suddenly broke and was then followed by an eerie silence. He flash-stepped over the hills to find it empty, though his eyes immediately zoned in on the open clearing of a cliff. His heart thudded louder as he flash-stepped closer. Only to be caught off guard by their breathless giggles.

They were lying side by side on the grass about five feet away from the cliff's edge. "I swear...Yachiru-chan. You...almost gave me a heart attack!" Momo snickered, "The look on your face..." She couldn't finish as a fit of giggles overtook her.

"I really did try to brake... but I forgot which one is the brakes!" The younger girl laughed. Toushiro had to clear his throat. He was leaning on a tree with his arms crossed, apparently not amused.

"Eh...Whitey-chan?"

Damn... Momo raised herself up on her elbows, with withered autumn leaves and some branches stuck in her hair. "Oh hey, Shiro-chan." She grinned.

"Mind telling me what happened to the bike?"

"It's...down there." She said in a small voice, pointing her index finger towards the ground.

He looked over the cliff to find the motorcycle suspended in her Tsuriboshi bakudo spell. He inwardly cringed at the depth of the fall. The ocean's waves crashing on the rocks emphasized it even more as he visualized his wife and her friend inboard.

"Uhmm...Yachiru and I will retrieve it. Don't worry, Toushiro. We'll get it." Although she has no idea how, without having to use her bankai.

Hitsugaya reached behind his right shoulder to unsheathe his sword. "Tch. I wasn't worried about the bike, baka...Soten ni Zase, Hyourinmaru!" Summoning the ice dragon under his breath as it flew down the cliff, then returned with the motorcycle in its gigantic jaws.

"Hah...Awesome dragon Whitey-chan!"

"Come, Yachiru-chan. You can pet him too! Don't be fooled by those blood-red eyes." Momo tugged her friend's hand and placed it on Hyourinmaru's nose, while the dragon slowly placed the bike on the ground. At the same time Momo stretched, rubbing the ice dragon's brow. "He's so gentle, my Hyourinmaru."

"Ahahaha! Ken-chan will never believe me!" Yachiru giddily crawled into the giant's mouth, holding on to its fangs like she's trapped in a jail cell made of ice.

Hinamori ran and wrapped her arms around Toushiro's waist, looking up with those puppy brown eyes. "Can we go for a ride Shiro-chan? Please?"

He rolled his eyes. As if he could refuse. Although, he did feel more at ease to have them ride something that he's in control of. "Fine. But we have to get back soon, our dinner reservation-" their squeals can be heard as the dragon dove back down the cliff, leaving him alone.

You're just so gallant, master. Hyourinmaru teased.

Unlike you? She just touches your ear and you melt! Fucking softie. The captain snorted.

You heard her, she owns me too.

He smirked at the realization, watching them as they glided towards the sunset, the vast ocean reflecting its golden light. Momo was seated on the dragon's neck, holding on to its spines. Her face basking with a smile and hair wildly billowing against the wind.

Ah. That she does.

...

...

I'm so lost.

She was somewhere completely unfamiliar, her eyes squinting up at the stars. Trying to navigate her way home as Toushiro had taught her to decipher constellations like a map a few times before.

Damn...it's still not making sense!

"Hinamori-kun." Said a soothing voice that she recognized so well. He was right behind her, his lips almost touching her ear.

"Aizen...what are you doing here?" Momo didn't need to turn around though she clutched the front of her robes tighter.

"My, my...is that how you greet your captain?"

"You are not my captain, you never were. It was all an illusion that you had everyone believe." A rumble can be heard, as he found her answer amusing.

"But I never needed to use an illusion with you. It was just that easy."

"What do you want from me?" Instinctively moving a hand over her lower abdomen and winced when he grabbed a fistful of her hair, roughly pulling her back against him. His other hand was on her neck as it slowly slid down her chest then stopped over her stomach.

He chillingly spoke, "Why do you make yourself so vulnerable to love, when it's the ultimate weapon to hurt the people you want to protect the most? You silly, silly girl."

Fear so overwhelming ran a shiver down her spine, making her voice waver and unconvincing. "You are wrong. I am stronger because of it. I have all the more purpose to defeat you–" his grasp became tighter as she bit her lower lip to hold in a whimper.

"But you are weak, Hinamori-kun, you cannot protect your dear husband. It's futile. The only purpose you will serve is to help me destroy him. You...and this child –are the perfect weapon." He leered.

"You will never harm us."

"Trust me, I will find a way."

She reached for Tobiume's hilt and summoned through gritted teeth, "Bankai."

Momo woke up perspiring, her wide brown eyes searched the bright, sunlit room. Trying to comprehend as these haunting dreams would usually occur in the night. Nights when Shiro-chan wasn't with her.

The realization that it was just a dream didn't give her comfort whatsoever. This was different from the rest –it had more words exchanged, the baby involved...it had more of an impact. This dream had a purpose and that is to embed the fear that was subconsciously there. Fear that became so staggeringly real.

She was hyperventilating. Her fingers shook as she reached for the note that was laid on a pillow.

Momo,

Gone early to a meeting. Wait for me, I'll walk you to your office.

P.S
What do you think about getting a new bed?

Love,
Shiro-chan

Hinamori placed the note on her chest, crumpling it as though to embrace it. "Toushiro..." She finally exhaled and then turned on her side. Huddled, while she wrapped her arms around her knees and silently cried.

...

Hitsugaya was thankful to have the meeting be done early, also inwardly glad that he wasn't delegated to head back to Karakura and take over Komomura's place, who was injured from an Arrancar attack. Though nothing that a quick reiatsu restoration from Soul Society can take care of. So Kira Izuru was sent out instead, along with his vice-captain.

Tch. With all these arrancar reappearances it won't be long until I'm assigned to the real world once again–

Toushiro's musing was put on a halt when he slid the bedroom door open to find it empty, but immediately noticed the balcony open. He expected her to be meditating with Tobiume, yet was rather curious to see her standing up so still. She was holding on to the banister in a manner that was making her knuckles white. So lost in thought that he waited until she noticed him...

Momo turned to see her husband leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed, he smiled in greeting when their eyes met.

She looked really upset before quickly turning back around to address the scenery, "It's a beautiful day isn't?" A little too brightly. Kicking herself for not masking her expression fast enough.

"Hn. Momo, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. But we should get going, ne?"

He followed after her as she jumped off the balcony, hurriedly walking to the 5th division. "There's no hurry, Momo. Abarai won't be there yet, he had to meet with Kuchiki-taicho."

"I see..." She somewhat slowed her pace, though still walking ahead of him.

"So how about that new bed I mentioned?"

"Yes, how about that."

"I guess I can just use rocks and put a blanket over it."

"Yeah, that'd be nice." She said inattentively.

Toushiro didn't care if they were out in public at this point, he held her arm to have her face him. "Oi, what's gotten into you?" Indeed earning them some stares.

"Huh? I'm fine."

He placed a hand on her forehead, it was warm but that's just her normal temperature. "Are you feeling sick? Did you forget to eat?"

"Tsk. Stop being so worried, Shiro-chan. Really, I'm okay."

"Convince me."

She had to close her eyes from those disarming aquamarines. Momo sighed, knowing there was no way around it. "I'm sorry Toushiro, don't take this the wrong way but...I guess..."

His white brow elegantly raised.

"I just need some time alone."

"...Of course. Anything you need, I understand." But he didn't understand.

"And yes, the bed is a great idea. I'm sure you'll pick the right one." Momo tip-toed to give him a quick kiss and was surprised when he deepened it. Leaning her back against a nearby wall, and holding her chin down with his thumb as he slid his tongue in. Toushiro braced a hand next to her for support, unmindful of the glares and whistles that their public display of affection had caused.

Hinamori's hands were on his chest and she had to gently push him away to break the kiss, in case her face gets any redder. "Hmmm...I'll see you later...baka." She shyly whispered.

Satisfied to see her at least smiling, he waited until she disappeared from his sight and went on his way. Her words coming back to mind. "You over think things too much. Try to look at the surface for once and just take it for what it is."

So if she says she needs time alone –so be it. But he still can't help but feel uneasy.

…

He looked at the clock, 10:30 P.M. Then started on a new report, trying to keep his mind occupied.

Where is she?

And as though on cue, he felt her reiatsu getting close.

Momo landed on the balcony, and was thankful not to see her husband when she descended the spiral staircase. Her hakama was in tatters, her hair singed two inches shorter, and a small trail of blood marred her porcelain leg from a cut on her knee. She headed straight to the bathroom, making sure to lock the door.

At the same time the bedroom door opened as Toushiro came in. He heard her hiss "Ittai...", and had to stop. Reminding himself that she wanted to be left alone and realizing that maybe he's been smothering her with his over-protectiveness, that it's considered wise to just keep his distance for now. Though he already planned to have a few of his men follow her tomorrow when she's training by herself. Just in case...

Momo finally came out of the bathroom and tip-toed when she saw him asleep on the bed, facing away on his side. She slowly lied down next to him, after turning off the lamp. And just stared at his back against the subtle light of the moon. The sinewy muscles lining his body looked so lithesome and powerful even in the dark. Never once had she deemed him incapable of anything.

I can't be your downfall, Shiro-chan.

Tears streamed down her face as she silently sobbed, the horrid dream still fresh in her mind.

Toushiro waited until her breathing was even, to indicate that she fell asleep, before turning around to gather her in his arms. "Baka, Momo." He whispered against her hair. Why must you keep things to yourself? It killed him to hear her cry and not know what to do.

We'll get to the bottom of this...hoping that it's just one of those emotional onsets from being pregnant.

...

Hinamori woke up alone, feeling much worse when a wave of nausea overtook her as she dashed straight to the bathroom...

She was 15 minutes late for work.

"Ohayo Abarai-taicho, Rukia-san." Momo greeted, hurriedly sitting down in her desk. She was getting dizzy once again.

"Oha –oi, you look a mess Momo-chan! Renji, are you overworking her?" Rukia was standing over her friend, combing her hair back.

"Please take the day off, Hinamori-san."

"No, I'm fine guys! Really." Though already placing her head back down in her arms which were propped on the desk.

"I'm calling Hitsugaya-taicho." Renji was reaching for the office phone.

"No don't! I'll just go and take today off then. I'll be at home if you need me, taicho."

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the 4th Division, Momo-chan?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll see you later."

Hinamori was actually thankful as she flash-stepped back to the 10th division when another wave of nausea hit her. She decided to go back to sleep and woke up three hours later to find that she felt much better. What the hell? Crazy symptoms.

Momo dressed in her white kimono with the blue floral pattern, tying its beautiful dark blue obi around her waist and decided to just hang out in her husband's office.

"Oi, Rangiku-san!"

"Momo-chan! What's the occasion?"

"Nothing really. I wasn't feeling good so taicho sent me home."

"Meanwhile, my taicho had me working like a slave holding the fort down. He's been out all day with these meetings!"

"Oh, in that case I'll just keep you company then." She grinned, happy to be of service. "Here, let me have some of these..." grabbing a stack from her friend's desk and setting it on Toushiro's, as she made herself comfortable.

"Oi, thank you so much. I owe you big time!"

"You don't owe me anything, Rangiku-san...what's with these pens? They're awful." Being used to writing with her comfort-grip chappy pens, she rummaged through the drawers to find other office supplies.

"Don't make a mess, Momo-chan. Just make sure you put them back in the right place. It ruins his day if anything is misplaced, you know." Rangiku said without looking up, much too engrossed to finish the bottomless paperwork.

Hinamori ignored her friend's warning as she opened a drawer one after another. And was half-way closing one when curiosity got the better of her, for inside were 5 to 6 opened letters addressed to Toushiro, the penmanship reminded her of students in Karakura High. She opened an envelope and read the letter, it was dated three years ago from Karin.

They were innocent enough; mostly detailed descriptions of a soccer match from either her team's or a professional game she saw on T.V. Though one of the letters stood out from the rest and it was written about a year ago. It had a detailed paragraph of yet another soccer game but it ended with

...although we won the match, I still wish you were here.

Love,
Karin

That didn't sit well with Momo and as if to make matters worse, there inside the same drawer was a velvet jewelry box. She pulled the small white card that was protruding out from it. And it read,

Happy Valentine's Day

Love,
Shiro-chan

She had her hands around the velvet case, ready to open it when Hitsugaya slid the office doors open.

"Oi...Momo. What are you doing here?"

"Ah...uhmm, I have to go." As she walked past him without a glance in his direction and was about to flash-step out of there when he grabbed her arm.

"Matsumoto, I believe your break is overdue." It wasn't a request.

"Sure thing." This isn't good. Rangiku instantly noticed as she worriedly looked at Hinamori, who had her head bowed, before sliding the door shut.

"Tell me what happened just now."

She shrugged off his hold, still not wanting to meet his eyes. "It's nothing. I really need to leave."

"If it's nothing, then why did you look at me with such...contempt? This can't be just one of your mood swings, Hinamori."

"What if it is?"

"Something tells me it isn't. Please Momo, just tell me what's bothering you. How can I fix it if I don't know?"

"Ugh." Hinamori gave up and relaxed her defensive stance, then walked over to the couch to lie face down when she felt a headache coming. Burying her face in one of Rangiku's decorative pillows. "I found Karin's letters in your desk." Her voice muffled.

"And?"

"And some jewelry that you meant to give her for Valentine's Day."

"What? Oi, I didn't give her anything nor did I respond to any of those letters...Momo, are you... jealous of Karin?"

"And so what if I am?" She sat up now, her face flushed. Surprised to find him so close.

Toushiro was sitting on the floor with a smirk, holding the velvet box and handing it to her. "Here open it."

"It's empty."

"Because you're wearing it, baka."

"I don't understand."

"I meant to give this to you for Valentine's day but we weren't really in speaking terms, so I decided to give it on your birthday. It worked out perfectly since you were so adamant on me not buying a present."

"I see..."

"Do you really?" The back of his fingers tenderly glided on her porcelain cheek. Glad to see her back, though he almost laughed at her suspicions. Over tomboy Karin? Absurd.

"It's not fair." She said in a small voice.

"What is?"

"If the tables were turned, and it was you who found letters from Kira in my desk. You wouldn't let it go this easily."

"..."

"Answer me, Toushiro. Am I right?"

"Yes. But I–"

"Tsk. I'm sorry. I have some other things..." She stood up, not wanting to fight and feeling utterly confused at this point. "It's not you, Shiro-chan...I-I have to go."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know." Momo forced on her most reassuring smile, "But I'll see you later."

Her smile didn't fool him for a second as Toushiro was now left staring at the closed doors. ...

She didn't tell me everything that's bothering her. And these letters... as he emptied the drawer's contents into the trash bin ...made matters worse.

….

A/N: Tsuriboshi is Bakudo no. 37 : Suspending Star. 15-carat is a big ass diamond!

Sorry for the ending but Momo is going through a lot right now as winter nears...