A/N: I wanted to get this out before the weekend because I'll be busy as hell the next few days. The response from the last chapter was, again, humbling. Though I expected more reviews. The more I get, the quicker the update. Just sayin lol

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, its characters, or places. Just a PC and an overactive imagination.

Chapter 4 – Regret

The thought of all the stupid things I said

Oh no, what's this?

A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle

So I turned to run

The thought of all the stupid things I've done

I never meant to cause you trouble

And I never meant to do you wrong

And I, well if I ever caused you trouble

Oh no, I never meant to do you harm

"Trouble" Coldplay

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've acted rashly and let the heat of the moment get the best of me. It's gotten me into trouble. Some more than others. I'll never forget one mistake I made was to assume things wouldn't change after Katniss and Peeta came home after winning the Games sixteen years ago. To think that nothing would come of their act in the arena. I can still feel the burning sting on my back, reliving each painful whip every now and then. They've left their scars, physically and mentally. I also made the mistake of thinking I stood a chance against Peeta. Part of me knew that she would choose him. I just tried to cling to her as much as I could just in case there was a chance she would choose otherwise. But the more I tried to hold on to her, the more I pushed her away. My own ideas on how to win the war clouded my mind from the bigger picture.

I stayed at Sae's for another half hour, staring into the depths of an empty bowl. Funny, it's kind of how I felt. Empty and hollow. Like all the good things in me had been picked clean and I only have myself to blame. It took years for me to convince myself that my bomb wasn't the one that killed Prim. Whether or not it truly was my design, I couldn't have known that's what they were going to use it for. Part of me still takes blame for Prim's death, but I never would have hurt her intentionally. I thought that had counted for something.

It's part of the reason I never returned to District 12. I knew they were bringing Katniss back here until they figured out what to do with her. I also knew Peeta would fight like hell to come back to be with her. And he did. I can still remember the temper tantrum he had when they told him it may be best if he stayed away from District 12. Katniss wouldn't have wanted to see me. Prim's death was still too fresh and seeing me would have only done more harm. Prim herself was a reason I couldn't go home. I'd see her innocent face everywhere, haunting me at every turn. So I told my family they were free to go home, but I would be on my way to District 2 to work for the military.

That's when Rory snapped. He was furious that after everything that had happened, I was leaving. I was leaving 12. I was leaving them. He was right on some account. I knew my mother would want to go back to the only home she had ever known. My father's final resting place was there and she couldn't leave him. But I couldn't go back. I had thought they had understood why. As far as my brother was concerned, I was wrong.

I wasn't angry at Katniss when she had suggested I go home and see my family, or at least call to let them know I'm here. To be honest, I agreed with her. I was just afraid of what I would be going home to. I was afraid of how they'll receive me. Would they hate me? Not want to see me? Turn me away? No. Not my mother. My mother would never do any of those things. My mother would, will, and has always accepted me with open arms. Fifteen years and only she and Posy have come to District 2 to see me on a frequent basis. I won't lie. It hurt. She would make excuses for Vick; he had school or he was busy looking for a job. But there was never an excuse for Rory. She would avoid talking about him. She would never tell me he didn't want anything to do with me. I looked up from my empty bowl to see good ol' Greasy Sae staring at me.

"Well?" she asked gruffly. "What are you waiting for boy? Your momma's been waiting for you to come home for fifteen damn years. Don't keep her waiting any longer."

I put some money on the counter for my food, leaving a few extra coins for letting me stick around while I sulked. I grabbed my hat and shirt, not bothering to put them on as I headed toward the Seam. Yesterday, I did my best to avoid going to the section of the District where I had grown up. District 12 actually had a small hotel where visitors passing through would come to stay, hoping to see the Mockingjay and her family. Despite how homey the tiny room felt, it was nothing like home. It was cold and lonely. I headed down the road, smiling as children ran past me giggling and chasing after one another. I wish my childhood had been so care-free. Instead, I feared my 12th birthday and every year after that until I was considered a man, ineligible to be entered into the Games.

As I neared my mother's home – which was rebuilt in the same spot my childhood home once stood – I actually begin to feel nervous. I consider turning around and heading back to that dingy little hotel room I'll be calling home through the duration of my stay, but I can't. I'm too close to run away again. I've missed my brothers, mother, and sister. It's been four years since I've seen my mom and Posy and 7 since I last saw Vick. My youngest brother had stopped by in 2 to see me on his way to a study program through all the districts. He stayed a few days, and then he was gone. He never spoke of Rory during his stay. He actually tried to avoid talking about home. He was never one to get in the middle of things. He liked to stay neutral and the best way to do that was not to talk about the problems our family had.

I climbed the steps to my family's front door and rapped on the soft wood lightly. I wonder now if they heard I was back. I'm positive they have. My sudden return is all anyone has been talking about. Even if they weren't told directly, they had to have heard the rumors. Time froze when the door opened. My heart actually ached when I saw my mother. She looks just as she always has: tired, but keeping her brave face on. She never wanted us to know she was sad, tired, or worried about how she would get the next meal on the table. There are streaks as gray as her eyes in her hair. I can see she is older now and it pains me to know that I haven't been home to take care of her like a good son should be.

The moment her eyes meet mine, they begin to tear. Her bottom lip quivers and she quickly brings her hand over her mouth as if trying to hide it from me. Her hands move to my face, holding it as to make sure I'm really standing in front of her. "Gale?" she manages to get out in a trembling voice. "Gale, is it really you?"

I smile and nod my head. "Yea, Mom," I say softly, "it's me."

In an instant, I am in her arms. I close my eyes as I wrap my arms around her, holding her as she cries into my shirt. I'm not ashamed to say I may be on the verge of my own tears. I've missed my family. I've missed my home. For a moment, I can't remember why I had left in the first place. After what seems like hours, my mother pulls back, wiping her tear stained face with a handkerchief she retrieves from her apron pocket.

"I'm sorry," she's half laughing, half crying. "Look at me, crying like a child. I've ruined your shirt."

"No Ma," I smile, "it's ok. Don't worry about the shirt. It's not important."

She laughs and nods her head. She lets out a sigh and cups my face again. "My baby." Her smile grows as she pulls my face down and places a soft kiss on my forehead. She releases my face and motions me to come into the house. "Come in, come in. We have so much to talk about!"

I follow my mom into the new home. I've never seen her this happy before. Not since Dad died at least. It occurs to me that I've never been in this house before. I remember our old house. It was small and, literally, falling apart. I had to do the repairs myself and it was hard to find the right materials to even begin to fix the problems. This home was nothing like it. It was sturdy. There were no holes in the ceiling or loose floor boards. The doors actually had knobs and there were more than two rooms. The windows could actually be looked through. There was no thick layer of grime to obscure the outside world from my family's view. Although, there's probably more to look forward to out there now.

"I heard you were back," my mom says.

"Yea," I say somewhat uncomfortably. "I thought about coming by yesterday, but…"

My mom puts up her hand and shakes her head. "It's alright, Gale. I'm just glad you're here now." She stands at the counter in the kitchen, slicing some bread. "Have you seen Katniss?" Leave it to my mother to ask like nothing had happened; like I wasn't gone for fifteen years. "I'm sure she'd be happy to see you."

"I actually just saw her," I say, playing with the rim of my hat. "It didn't go to well."

She looks up at me with sad eyes. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

"It's ok," I sigh. "I'll just…" I trail off when the back door opens and two people walk in. It takes me a minute to register that these adults are my baby brother and sister. Posy is a younger version of our mom. Vick shares the same features. He is tall and slim with a bit of muscle. He's allowed his facial hair to grow, but keeps it maintained. He's wearing a tie and white coat, making me wonder exactly what he does now. He's stiff as he stares in my direction. "Hey guys."

My voice sounds formal, like I was just out hunting for the morning instead of thousands of miles away for the last fifteen years. For longer than either of them have been alive. It doesn't seem to bother Posy. She lets out an ear piercing scream and runs to me, throwing her arms around my neck. I hug my little sister as her mouth spouts a million words a second in my ear. I laugh and nod my head like I know what she's saying, because honestly, I can't keep up. My eyes are trained on Vick who seems to be having a bit of an internal battle about seeing me.

"I knew you were back! I told you, Vick! Didn't I tell you he was back, Vick?" Posy asks, pointing a finger at our brother.

"You did," Vick's gentle voice replies. He's silent again. He never was a man for many words.

"It's good to see you," I say to him. "You've grown up." He just nods. He looks uncomfortable. I can tell he isn't sure where his loyalties should lie. I've been gone for so long, but I made sure we didn't starve to death for a long time too. Then again, Rory has been there for him the decade and a half.

"I, uh, should go," Vick stutters. "Work."

I can see my mom nodding her head as she says, "It's alright, sweetie. We understand." Vick's hand is on the door knob when my mother speaks again. "You're coming back tonight right? With Val?" Vick nods. Val? Who is Val? "Ok. We'll see you tonight. Maybe I can get your brother to join us." My mom looks over at me and smiles.

"Uh, sure," I say. "I'll see you later, Vick."

Just then, I hear the thundering sound of footsteps running down the stairs. We all stop and look in the direction of the sound. A face I haven't seen in 15 years stands at the bottom of the stairs. Rory. He looks nothing like Posy or Vick. Although he and I both take after our father, he doesn't look much like me either. His shoulders are wide and he looks very solid. His arms are somewhat muscular as if he lifts heavy things all the time. He looks up for the first time and sees me. The temperature in the room immediately drops and the tension builds quickly.

"I'm just gonna…" Vick stutters as he points to the door. He's gone before anyone can stop him.

"Rory," my mom smiles as she crosses the room to him. She places her petite hand on his tense shoulder as she speaks in a calming voice. "Look who's here."

"I can see," he nearly spats. His voice is gruff and deeper than I expected. Then again, I'm expecting the voice of a twelve year old. "What do you want?" His words come out in a growl.

"Rory, please," my mom pleads.

"No. I want to know what the hell this asshole is doing here."

"Hey," I say, taking a step toward my brother. I don't care how he talks to me, but he better have respect for our mother. "Watch your mouth."

"Or what?" There's a look in his eyes, wild and threatening. He's ready to fight. "You've been gone for fifteen years and you think you can just come in here and act like you have the right to treat people like their kids?"

"Rory," my mother begs. I can hear it in her voice that she's fighting back tears. "Please, Rory. Don't."

"Don't what, Ma? He left us! He walked out on us and he waltzes back in thinking everything's all sunshine and lollipops? No. He has no right!"

I can feel Posy trying to hide behind me, but also trying to watch what was happening. My mom's hands are on Rory's face now, holding it like she had mine not too long ago. Only now, she's not trying to commit her son's face to memory. She isn't trying to assure herself that who she was looking at was really there. She was trying to get Rory to look at her so she can calm him. She was whispering his name, trying to get his attention, but his eyes were glued on me.

"Rory," she's saying, "Rory, I know. Just…please. He just got home."

"So he abandons us, comes back, and we're supposed to act like it's ok?" Rory's shouting now. His face is turning red with anger as he clenches one of his fists.

"Hey!" I intervene. "I never abandoned you guys. I took a job somewhere else. I asked you guys to come with me!"

"You knew we wouldn't!" He's laughing at me now as if I had told a sick joke. "You know Mom would want to come back. But that didn't stop you from leaving. You packed up your shit and you left. You left, Gale! You walked out on us and you haven't looked back!"

"That's not true! I've been asking you to come…"

"Visit? You've asked us to drop everything and visit? That's what you were going to say right?" I take a deep breath and stand straight. I'm starting to think that I should let him get out all his anger before trying to talk reason into him. "We have lives too hot shot. Fifteen years, Gale. Fifteen fucking years! You could have come home too! You think that sending a pay check constitutes as something? You wanna know what it means to me? It means that you're just buying your responsibility to this family! You think a God damn pay check will satisfy what you're not here to do. You don't know a God damn thing about any of us and you expect us to welcome you with arms wide open. No. It doesn't work that way. We needed you! We needed you, Gale, and you weren't here!" I can hear the tremble in his voice. What's louder than that is the sound of his heart breaking. He shakes his head and tries to shake Mom's hand off his shoulder. "I don't have time for this. I'm going to be late for work."

For the first time, I notice the white apron in my brother's hand. His attire is significantly different than Vick's. He heads for the door, purposely bumping his broad shoulder into mine as he passes me for the front door. Our mother pleads with him to come back, just for a moment, so we could talk. She doesn't want things to be left like this. I notice now that Posy no longer seems excited to see me. In fact, she's actually trying to put distance between us. She isn't afraid of me or Rory, but I can tell Rory's words have made sense to her. I have been gone for a long time. I wasn't there for the good or bad. I wasn't there at all. I don't know my siblings. Not even a little. I turn and head out the door, hot on my brother's tail.

"Gale?" my mother says, shocked, as I pass her on the porch. "Gale, wait! Just let him be!" she yells after me. I can't though. I have to talk to him.

Rory is moving quickly through the streets. People are actually moving out of his way as he nears them. "Rory!" I call to him.

He only glances at me over his shoulder to glare at me. "Leave me alone," he shouts.

"Come on. Talk to me."

"I don't want to. Just leave me the fuck alone."

"I can't do that." We're passing through the Seam and the Hob now. I'm wondering where exactly we are headed. "I'm sorry, ok?"

He laughs. "No you're not. You were glad to be rid of this place. If you were, you would have come back at least once in the last fifteen years."

"It's not…look, it's complicated." People are staring now. "Rory, can we just stop and talk in private?"

"Why? Nothing in 12 has ever been a secret. We all know each other's business. You must have forgotten while you live the high life in 2."

"I don't live the high life. Rory, would you just stop?"

Finally, he listens. He stops and turns abruptly and I run right into him. I stagger back, half in surprise and half because I have to, to catch my footing.

"You left, Gale. You wanted nothing to do with District 12 or anyone in here. Why don't you do us all a favor and go back to 2 already? Everyone knows you won't stay. Just leave. No one wants you here."

I'm speechless. I hadn't realized to what extent of the damage I had done to the people I care about. Katniss, Rory, Vick, Posy, and even my mother…I've done them all harm. Rory lets out a huff and shakes his head. He turns again and continues his journey to his job. Only, he doesn't go too far. I realize now that we are in the Market section. A couple of yards away, Rory shouts a happy greeting to his employer. I feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach as I watch him slap hands with the blonde haired blue eyed man. He laughs and heads into the Mellark Bakery.