Dislaimer: I do not own Bleach
Cleaned and updated the chapter. Please reread.
A/N: Spoiler alert! Please review. That's all I ask, not your firstborn. And keep the Hitsuhina love alive!
WATASHI NO KOKORO
Chapter 41
Blinded
Three days later.
She knocked on the opened door and poked her head in. "Kira-kun? Is it okay if I come in?"
"Hinamori-san! Of course, come in!"
Very glad to be assured by Unohana-taicho of Izuru's condition, Momo decided to pay her friend a visit. She walked in the room dressed in her nude pink yukata with the mint green obi, rolling the portable monitor beside her while observing her friend who was sporting enough bandages to wrap the moon in.
"Well, you're the best looking visitor I've had this week." The blond joked, albeit a little weakly. He was sitting up, hair now back to obscuring half his face.
"Wasn't Rangiku just here?" Momo laughed. "But I'm not just a visitor, I'm also your neighbor. Four rooms down that hall." She indicated the direction with her thumb and grinned.
"Why? Are you alright?" Looking at the machine that Momo was holding on to.
"Well, yes. We just had a little scare. He's grown quite big now you see." Turning to her side so Kira can have a better view; gliding her hand over the outline of her protruding belly.
"He?" Feeling the sudden plummet of his own reiatsu to see her actually pregnant.
"Yes, it's a boy."
Kira disregarded everything else when he saw the absolute joy on her face. "So...does he have a name?"
She pursed her lips and shook her head. "Not a clue."
"Hmmm...it has a nice ring to it. Hitsugaya Not-a-clue. Son of the prodigy, Hitsugaya-taicho."
Momo's laughter could be heard throughout the ICU quarters. A rare sound in this usually dismal floor.
…
…
The next day. About 4:00 in the afternoon.
"Whoa...how did you know about this place, Kira-kun?" Her mouth left open from seeing this secluded training grounds specifically arranged for kidou practices. An almost-healed Izuru was holding her hand and her portable machine as Momo hopped unto the stage in the middle of the huge arena.
"I use to be in the 4th division, remember? But unlike most of the division officers I spent most of my time here, instead of healing people. This is where you'll usually find Unohana-taicho when she isn't so busy."
"Oh, I see...Hadou no. 73: Soren Soukatsui!" As two targets disintegrated by the summoned attack.
"Impressive Hinamori-san. Without the incantation at that."
"This is so cool. I haven't practiced in weeks!" Giddy to finally let some of her reiatsu loose. The monitor started to beep so she held back a bit.
"Hadou no. 90: Kurohitsugi!"
Momo just watched in awe as a black coffin materialized, engulfing a target... "Wow..." She was familiar with the hadou but just didn't see one done without an incantation.
"That's what Ichimaru-taicho used that earned me these fake limbs from the 12th division. It would have succeeded if I didn't block it..." Kira became somber; absorbed in his thoughts.
Momo touched his arm. "But you're okay now."
"It's not that...it just seemed as if he hesitated to come at me. It felt like he didn't mean for me to die, knowing how I can block it. Taicho never miscalculate."
"Stop calling him that! You're the captain now...demo...just be thankful you're alive. Because I am."
Izuru smiled and chucked her chin, though becoming pensive once again. "I'm leaving in a week. I have to get back out there."
"Mou...so soon? Will you be all healed?"
"Unohana-taicho said I'll be in good shape by then."
"Good." She grinned and focused on another target. Stretching her arm and held out her index and middle finger. "Hadou no. 54: Haien!"
"Nice." Watching it turned to ash. "You're kidou is very powerful Hinamori-san." His turn to be in awe as he just came upon the realization.
"I have this little bundle of joy here to thank for that. They said that his reiatsu might have facilitated my bankai as well. Though I get easily exhausted lately... Hadou no. 88: Hiryugeki zoku shinten raiho!" ...
"Eto...Holy shit! Hinamori-san, let's get out of here before they see us. We're not even suppose to use this place if we don't belong in this division –let alone destroy it!"
"Nor were we suppose to be out of our rooms! This is soo your fault Kira-kun, for bringing me here!" As they hurriedly left, guffawing along the way.
"Hey, why aren't you garbed in a hospital robe like the rest of us?" Looking at Momo's dark blue floral kimono with the white obi.
"I'll show you my room, then you'll see why. Right over here..."
They were still laughing upon entering her private chamber and stopped short to find Hitsugaya standing, staring out the window. "To-Toushiro. What are you doing here?" Not used to seeing him until later in the evenings. Why are you so nervous baka? You're not doing anything wrong! Reminding herself.
He turned to face them with legs slightly braced apart. "Thought I'd surprise my bored wife." He shrugged. He acknowledged the blond with a smirk. "And yo Kira, good to see you in one piece."
"Shiro-chan!" Scolded Momo and was about to tell him to apologize.
Izuru's lips quirked with his chin cocked defiantly and looked the other captain straight into his aquamarine eyes. Momo almost staggered when Kira's ominous reiatsu flared.
"Why thank you Hitsugaya-taicho. Nice to see Hinamori-san in such good hands," he looked about the furnished room, "so well taken care of that she ended up here in the ICU. And making herself at home it seems." He said, oozing with sarcasm.
She faced the blond now, her eyes wide. So appalled to hear her friend's retort.
"It's Hitsugaya." His voice was menacingly low as the room also got colder.
"Pardon me?" Kira asked, unfazed.
"You are to address her with her proper name. And that is Hitsugaya."
"I see...then since we're on the subject, I also should remind you to address me as Kira-taicho. I believe I earned the title." He turned to walk away and stopped to look over his shoulder with a neutral smile. "I'll see you later, Momo-san."
She was left staring after Izuru's back. Her shoulders stiff, fists clenched. ...
"You provoked him to say those things, Toushiro. He never speaks ill of you –ever! Yet you continuously treat him with such disdain." It was silent for awhile before Hinamori continued. "I never thought I would ever have to say this Shiro-chan, but that was very immature of you."
"Momo, I–"
"And if you don't mind... I'm really tired and would like to be by myself." Hinamori calmly added.
"Of course." Feeling foolish of his behavior as he too, left the room.
…
…
She stirred in her sleep and turned over on her back. Finding it unusual to have moved so easily, for the wires attached to her arm and body would make such a simple movement like putting a hand over her mouth to stifle a yawn even difficult. She opened her eyes, focusing on the clock. It read 9:15 p.m. I slept for five hours? Must be from working up all those hadou spells...
Momo noticed her arm. The wires and tubes were all gone.
"I asked to have them removed...just for tonight." He was on the chair next to the bed.
"Why?" She asked sitting up. Toushiro placed the soft ivory cloak around her shoulders before gently picking her up. Hinamori draped her arm over his neck, still waiting for an answer. A small smile tugged on his lips.
"So we can watch the fireworks." Already headed towards the open window. Swiftly jumping off from the sill, the hem of his haori flapping as he slowly and agilely landed on the roof. "It's the Ritto festival remember?" Sitting down on the ceramic-tiled rooftop while Momo still held securely in his arms.
"Hah! I completely forgot." She laughed. "Can you believe it, Shiro-chan? It's already been a year since you proposed." She moved to sit beside him and hugged her knees as she looked over the lantern-lit town, her eyes now bright remembering that perfect night. "Crazy how time flies..."
"Momo I apologize for my behavior this afternoon. That was...uncalled-for."
Her shoulders slumped in resignation. "Hai...but don't apologize to me, Shiro-chan. If anyone here deserves an apology, it's Kira."
"I already did."
She turned to look at him. "Really?"
"Yeah, but just for what I said earlier and that's about it." Cringing inwardly when he remembered the awkward scene. Izuru almost choking on his tea... now that part made Toushiro smirk.
"Well, I'm impressed. You really are working on it." She grinned.
It was momentarily quiet, her smile becoming tender as she studied him.
So handsome, my Toushiro.
She kneeled and moved closer so she can touch his flawless face, smoothing out the creases in between his brows. Her dainty fingers moving that lock of white hair aside to look deeply into those ocean-blue eyes. He closed them as she leaned in to kiss the tip of his nose. Giving her free reign as she continued on with her close examination...
You hide behind that scowl of yours, that cold exterior –the Heavenly Guardian that you are. Momo smiled.
But beneath all that might, I can still see you. My little Shiro-chan, my shield and savior... my sweet refuge.
The sudden loud whistle of the first firework captured their attention. Toushiro watched her profile for the most part of the show. Observed the different colors of light reflect off of her glowing face, her beautiful eyes animated and so...alive.
For a moment she blinds me with her smiles, hiding behind it the scars that Aizen left. No, I take that back. Scars indicate healed wounds while these here are still open. They bleed and sting every time something reminds her of her mistakes. Plaguing her wakened mind with dark thoughts and haunting her dreams in sleep.
I know of her unvoiced fears, she need not tell me. For they will not relent until Aizen is dead. And he will die.
A corner of his lips twitched, changing his serious expression. It is no secret that I hold her above all else. She is my life, my home and ground; my refuge...
"Shiro-chan, did you see that? It's a dragon!"
"Ah. Looks more like a duck to me."
She laughed. "How could that possibly be a duck? Ooh how about that one?"
And so it ensued. Hinamori would turn to him every once in a while when something amazes her, or would point at something as if Hitsugaya didn't notice. Just like how when they were children, only this time they didn't just share a moment under the fireworks. They shared an understanding that life is a gift and rare times like these ought to be cherished.
...
...
...
A few days had passed..
Another ICU patient? That's about the eighth one today. What's going on out there?
Toushiro had already been summoned to an emergency meeting first thing this morning along with Unohana-taicho. The furrow in between her brows becoming more prominent as her concerns got the better of her. Momo walked through the hallway, observant of the new patients that filled the ICU beds.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed a room with six small beds all occupied with unconscious and injured children. And so did the next three rooms after that.
Her legs slowly lead her into one of the chambers, her eyes wide from shock as she warily looked about and stood in front of a child's bed. That breathing mechanism strapped to his mouth, bandages wrapped around his neck and whole abdomen. Hinamori couldn't move; horrified as the room started to whirl. She felt her knees buckle–
"Hitsugaya-fukutaicho! You can't be here."
"Why...the children." She whispered, careful not to vomit the bile that's constricting her throat.
"A group of menos appeared close to the orphanage this morning. The pediatric unit was immediately filled, so some of the children were transferred up here." He explained, also dumbfounded at the destruction he witnessed. "Aizen had infiltrated the Precipice World causing an imbalance to the dimensions. Making it possible for these kinds of Hollows to appear in Soul Society."
The 4th division officer continued, absorbed in his own thoughts while blankly looking at the unconscious child. "The disregard of all that's innocent is the ugliest part of war... ah, but Hitsugaya-fukutaicho, you must go now. Strict orders from Unohana-taicho. You must adhere."
Something snapped in Momo.
"No. I won't. I just can't stay here." Wrenching all the wires from her body then backed away and running out down the hallway and into the already opened door. She found Kira shrugging on his captain's haori staring at the wall, Wabisuke already strapped to his side.
"Kira-kun." Tears of despair and frustration pouring down her face.
"Geez! Don't you knock – oi, what happened?"
"Where...are you going? I thought it'd be for another week until you're completely healed?"
"No, I'm fine Momo-san... what are you doing out of bed?"
Her temper escalated every time she's told to go back in her room. "I don't need to stay here. I can help too! I'm now quite adept at healing, Kira-kun."
"You're pregnant. You can't be out there. It's too dangerous."
"And? You're not even fully recovered yourself!"
"Tsk. I really have to go."
Momo blocked his way by wrapping her arms around his waist. "Take me with you...please."
A little taken aback at her request and display of affection. He gently touched the top of her head. It was painful to see her cry like this but –he can't.
"I can't." You belong to someone else.
Hinamori knew in the past that her friend hardly ever refused her requests. So she knows that it's practically futile at this point. Her shoulders slumped dejectedly as she loosened her hold on him, "So it seems..." composing herself before looking up. "But please...you becareful Kira-kun?"
Izuru felt his heart break for the thousandth time. Wishing that her concern is that for a lover and not for a friend. He caressed her soft cheek. I have to let you go, Hinamori. He nodded and softly kissed her forehead.
"You take care of yourself, Hitsugaya-san."
She felt more hopeless and alone as she watched her friend leave. Why did his goodbye feel so...final?
As the dark cloud of unease overcame her even more.
...
…
"Taicho! Good thing you're back! I tried stopping her. She wouldn't budge."
"What are you talking about, Matsumoto?" Toushiro had just returned from the meeting.
All hell have broken loose. The Hueco Mundo mission have been cancelled. He is now to help hold the fort down, stand guard over the decoy town of Karakura along with the other captains. Aizen has finally come out of his hiding. He's here.
Inoue Orihime was kidnapped –without a struggle. She voluntarily followed her abductors and in turn marked as a traitor. Consequently, Kurosaki's request for help from the Gotei 13 to save Inoue was then denied. Which was a slap in the face, considering all the help that the kid had provided. So Ichigo, unsurprisingly, went to Hueco Mundo on his own.
Toushiro thought it ridiculous to not lend the kid a hand. He would have gone with Kurosaki in a heartbeat but doing so would lead him farther away from Hinamori. So his decision was made easy.
He now focused his full attention to what Matsumoto was saying.
"As his vice-captain, Abarai thought that Momo-chan had a right to know. So he told her about accompanying Rukia to Hueco Mundo despite what the soutaicho decided..." Rangiku was multitasking as she's getting ready to follow her captain, heedless that he had already left the room.
"...Kuchiki-taicho approved of his sister's decision to help Kurosaki. Renji couldn't let Rukia go on her own and Ichigo being his friend. So they left...but not before Abarai telling me to warn you about Momo-chan. That she was adamant on helping out. And since you weren't here yet, I went over to the hospital to see if I can put some sense into her...taicho?"
…
…
Chaos in the 4th Division building.
Toushiro regretted not entering through the windows instead as his urgency to see his wife was impeded by several healers running and flash-stepping about as more injured shinigami were being admitted.
"Hitsugaya-taicho!" A flustered Isane yelled, making him stop and turn around. She bowed and continued, "Momo-chan set up a barrier in her room. She wouldn't let us in. She's detached all the monitor wires and insist on helping out with the division. I told her no of course. So she's decided to go off on her own... Ano... I'm sorry taicho, but I couldn't do more to change her mind."
"Leave it to me. Thank you Kotetsu-fukutaicho." Fucking hell. This won't be easy.
Hitsugaya finally reached her room and had to undo the bakudo barrier she had set up on the entry way, clearly indicating her ban of unwanted visitors.
Hinamori's hair now tied in a bun, with a determined look as she stared out the window. She was dressed in her shihakuso, with the 5th squad insignia badge strapped to her arm. Absentmindedly wrapping bandages around her wrists and tightening it with her teeth. Toushiro felt that familiar flash of her reiatsu when she's bent on something, it emanated of pure intent.
"Where do you think you're going?"
She ignored him.
"I don't like repeating myself, Hinamori."
"Well I don't want to hear it. Last time I checked I was part of the Gotei 13. A vice-captain, at that. I'm not just going to lay here while everyone else is out there. I'm going with the 4th division and help find and heal the injured."
"Not in your condition, you're not."
She had been ready for this dreaded argument as she turned around looking him straight in the eyes. "You know I have more purpose to be out there than anyone else. You had to know that Shiro-chan! Why did you think I was training? So I can become captain? No. He betrayed me!" And he almost killed you, I don't know what I would have done if he succeeded.
"He deceived us all. Hinamori, you're not going out there, and that's the end of it!" Toushiro almost growled. His reiatsu was so overpowering. Momo was having a hard time just breathing but she held her ground.
"You cannot –will not –tell me what to do."
"If you value my sanity –don't go, Momo. Please." ...
"Fine. Then I won't. I'll stay."
His eyes turned hopeful for a second, then reverted back to the shadows. "You've always been a bad liar."
"What are you –"
"Hainawa!"
"Toushiro! Let me go!"
"You left me with no choice, Hinamori." And placing his hand over her face for the Inemuri ...she blacked out. He caught her limp form in his arms, and placed her on the bed. He then unclasped Tobiume and left it by her bedside, removing the bakudo restraints from her arms and watched her unconscious face for a few minutes then turned to leave with his fists clenched.
Fuck. I almost believed her! He punched a hole through a wall on the way out of the building, mindless of the attention it caused. He stopped to place a hand over his eyes then pinched the bridge of his nose. Struggling to compose himself.
Tch. Calm down, baka. Focus. She's safe. That's all that matters.
... ...
"Keep her unconscious. And make sure she doesn't leave the room. She's a master in kidou and can break almost all barriers. Resist her and call backup if you must. Just don't hurt her or you'll answer to me. Is that clear?" Instructing four of his trusted officers right outside of Hinamori's door.
"Hai Hitsugaya-taicho!" Resolute on not failing at a simple yet important task as they watched their taicho head over to battle Aizen. Said to be the Heavenly Guardian reincarnated; bestowed by the gods to walk with the living once every hundred centuries or so. The officers couldn't help but feel confident to have such a formidable force fighting on their side.
...
...
"Swinging a sword out of hatred is just filthy violence, Aizen. We don't call that a battle...you truly are unworthy of being a captain."
"How interesting...you hate me more than any captain in the Thirteen Court Guards. I never expected you to say that. Or perhaps... when Hinamori recovered...did all of your hate disappear?" He taunted.
"It is as you say, Aizen. My sword is filled with hatred..." Toushiro could feel his own reiatsu hitting a dangerous level. "I didn't come here to fight you. I came to violently kill you!"
He had to compose himself. "...And if my sword is filled with hatred then I'm also unworthy of being a captain, that's what you wanted to say, right?"
"That's right." Aizen confirmed.
"Then as long as I can kill you in this battle, I don't care if I lose my position as a captain for I will do everything I can to crush you."
...
...
Back in the 4th Division...
Momo's eyes fluttered open, somewhat confused as she stared at the white ceiling, blinking a couple times as she tried to recall what happened. A knit appeared between her brows when she finally remembered... Toushiro summoning the bakudo to restrain my wrists...then I blacked out.
Her brown eyes narrowed as it all came together. Why that bastard! How could he!
She sat up and reached for Tobiume and was about to jump off the bed when she heard a noise. A muffled sound of someone...sobbing?
Momo clasped Tobiume back on her hip and walked towards the sound... and where is everybody? It's too quiet in here.
She stopped for a brief moment when she realized that she was indeed alone while everyone else is fighting the war. Finding it a little peculiar to be left unconscious and without the 10th division sentinels guarding the entry of her room. So unlike Shiro-chan...
The sobbing echoed, amplified by the empty hallways as she continued her search. It called out to her, almost desperately as it became the only thing she focused on. I need to help you.
She entered the door where the sound became more pronounced and found a little boy huddled against the corner, in his tattered brown yukata hugging his knees with his head down, which was fully bandaged except for the lower half-part of his face. Patches of blood seeping through the white material.
Hinamori's heart went out to the poor child. Feeling guilty for getting angry at being abandoned, meanwhile this child was left alone in such a condition...
"Oi, are you okay? I'm here. Let me help you."
"I can't...see." The boy hiccuped.
"I'll lead you out of here." Taking a hold of his small hand.
He shook his head. "Please take...the bandages out...it's too tight. I can't see."
"Okay. But hold still...your wounds are not healed."
Momo slowly unraveled the long strip of material and set it aside once it was all removed. Her eyes widened when she saw his white hair, and smiled broadly at the child who still had his eyes closed. "You have beautiful hair...what's your name?" Glad to see that his injuries weren't as serious as the bandages made it seem to be.
"Kiyomizu Shirua."
"Nice to meet you Rua-chan. I'm Hitsugaya Momo."
He opened his eyes, they were a dark violet color. Glistening with sorrowful tears. "... Will you help me find okasan?"
Hinamori assumed he was with the orphanage so she was a little surprised. "Oh. Of course. Come, follow me." Standing up holding his hand.
The child abruptly withdrew his hand from her hold, and adjusted it so he was the one leading Momo. "No. You follow me."
...
...
Toushiro's confidence exuded. With Kyoraku-taicho, Komamura-taicho, and Soifon-taicho along with the vizards' help –there's no way that the bastard could get away now.
Hitsugaya saw the perfect opening.
He lunged, staking Hyourinmaru through Aizen's heart. Adjusted the hilt and with both hands pushed the blade deeper.
The traitor looked down and grasped the blade to stop it from going further...but it was futile. For it was embedded much too deep. His arm limply fell back to his side.
"They got him."
"They did it.."
"Guys..."
"He did it."
"Guys..."
"He's finally defeated!" ...
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING! ?" Ichigo's shout of incredulity was heard. Everyone looked towards the substitute shinigami then back...and gasped.
All eyes now on Aizen's impaled body but found Hinamori in his stead. Her husband's blade protruding out of the center of her chest. Her eyes wide with blood dripping down the side of her mouth.
"Hina...mori?" Toushiro managed to utter, her blood splattered on his face.
Everyone was at a standstill. Shocked to be a part of this tragic scene. Soifon's quick intake of breath was heard, "...The baby..."
No. It can't be. It just can't be...how? Wastheir silent denial while all they could do was watch...
Momo's back arched, a soft muffled whimper escaped her lips as Toushiro pulled the frozen blade out. He held her now, slowly descending from the sky and landing gently on the building's roof...
"Shiro...chan." Her cheek rubbing against his chest. Dull brown eyes robbed of life as she expelled her last breath, "Why?"...
A vortex of black clouds appeared above the whole town as an agonized, ground-shaking roar pierced the air.
"WAIT! Hitsugaya-taicho!" Kyoraku shouted.
And like its heavy curtains of despair, darkness soon encumbered.
...
...
A/N: Hainawa is Bakudo No. 4, crawling rope. Rua means lure in Japanese. Please review.