Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
A/N: Finished this chapter before school bogs me down. Yoshi! Please review. The more you review the more I'll find the time to finish the next chapter. ;) Gosh, I've subjected to threats... just awful! Hehe. But please review.
how long have I been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head
I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
... everything will be alright
- Storm by Lifehouse.
WATASHI NO KOKORO
Chapter 43
It was half past 10 in the morning.
Unohana-taicho was going over Momo's vitals, dictating her observations while Isane was writing them down. The captain gently removed the blanket to start their daily measurement of the baby's growth when Isane suddenly dropped her clipboard.
"Hitsugaya-taicho..." The tall girl whispered, stunned.
Retsu saw him then, standing by the entrance. Wearing his usual unreadable expression and without his captain's haori. His eyes were only focused on his wife at the moment.
She had to stop herself from going closer to scrutinize the handsome face, for the youthfulness seemed to have disappeared –replaced by that mask made severe only by guilt. She could just imagine the inner demons he had to fight in order to get his foot in through that door. But whatever the case, she was thankful that he got them out of the way.
For the first time since Aizen's incarceration, Retsu have finally felt a little bit of relief.
But the battle is not over yet. The female captain gently squeezed Momo's hand. It's all up to you now. Find your way back, my child. He's here to guide you...once again.
"Unohana-taicho. Kotetsu-fukutaicho." Hitsugaya acknowledged; his voice gruff.
Isane bowed, picked her clipboard up from the floor and hurriedly walked out while Unohana followed slowly behind. She touched his arm, a gesture of gratitude, before leaving the room.
...
Toushiro is now alone. Moving a couple of steps closer. Careful not to be too close as he just stood there and watched...
The light and shadows in the room changed position, indicating the passing of time. Hours it must have been.
Her slender arms slipped from behind him, her fists settled over his heart as she held him close, burying her face unto his back.
"Tai...cho." She whispered, soaking his kosode with tears as she silently sobbed.
Toushiro closed his eyes, finding genuine comfort in the embrace. "Matsumoto..."
"Hai, taicho."
"I'm sorry."
Rangiku shook her head, holding him tighter. "No...please don't be sorry. It's no one's fault...I'm just happy that you're here."
Hitsugaya nodded, and it was silent for a while.
Rangiku finally let go as she wiped her tears away. Walking to the bed and ritually straightened her friend's ivory yukata, slowly brushing her dark bangs aside...yet stopped and looked up, realizing that he hasn't been near his wife.
"Come, taicho." Rangiku prodded and reached to press a button on one of the machines, then removed the mask from Momo's face. "She just started doing this yesterday."
Toushiro was hesitant, containing the strong urge to snatch the mask from the bedside table to place it back on Hinamori. But the reassuring smile on his fukutaicho's face somewhat eased the panic.
"Come see. She breathes on her own now."
He came closer to look and was taken aback. For indeed, she is. And not just that, her cheeks were also a little pink. Realizing that dreams are just that; figments of his poor imagination. For they don't come close to doing her any justice.
"Place the mask back on once you've had your fill. They have it on just as a precaution."
Toushiro could only nod; mesmerized.
Matsumoto did some last minute tidying, and was about to head out when she added, "And...don't forget to say hello to your son, taicho."
"Hai. Of course."
"I'll have your haori ready for tomorrow. And please, call me if you need anything."
"Ah, thank you." Still not able to look away.
"I'll see you later."
"Matsumoto."
"Well, that was quick."
"Can you do me a favor?"
"Depends. It might cost ya." She joked.
"Prepare a Detention Release form and place it on my desk."
"Heh...? It's been a while since I've filled out one of those." Her eyes directed to the ceiling as she tried to remember where she would find the said documents. "But fine, whatever...eto...who am I making it for?"
"Ichimaru Gin."
"..."
Toushiro finally turned to look at his vice-captain. "Do you have a problem with that, fukutaicho?" the authoritative edge in his voice left no room for it to be questioned.
"No, taicho." Confused and a little irritated at his tone, she left with her eyes rolling.
…
He was alone again, feeling much braver this time as his fingers tentatively touched her cheek. Trailing them softly on her neck over the faint thuds of her pulse. Then moved his hand on her stomach.
He didn't flinch at the sudden jolt on contact but instead he cleared his throat to say, "Hello."
...
...
A few weeks had passed. It was 6:00 in the morning.
Hitsugaya woke up faced down on his desk again. His blurred vision started to clear, focusing it on the framed pictures. The image of her beautiful face evoked both memories and intangible dreams. And not just the pictures, it's everything else in this damned place. Can I really bring her back? The same person who put her in that wakeless sleep?
Kuso...
He reached for the frames and turned them over. Sitting up to start where he left off on the report, then continued on for the next three hours.
"Ohayo, taicho."
"Ohayo." He acknowledged without taking his eyes away from writing. Although starting to get a little annoyed when she remained just standing there. "What is it?"
"She's been breathing on her own for three weeks now, taicho. Unohana suggested that it'd be a great idea to bring her home. Here."
"No."
"Why not?"
"If you haven't noticed, I don't sleep here."
"Well, this use to be your home –"
"No, Matsumoto. Enough. She stays in the hospital. They can take care of her better than I can." And you seem to forget; I'm the reason why she's in there in the first place. Is what he really wanted to say.
Rangiku was undeterred, since her taicho's visitations have also dwindled the past week. "I'll take care of Momo too and Isane will be here for her daily checkups as well. Unohana-taicho said it would be a nice change of scenery that it might help –"
"I said no, Matsumoto. Make yourself useful and see to the division's kidou training."
She's really starting to hate that tone. "Hai, taicho." She replied with vehemence, snatching the picture frames from his desk and adjusted them so they're facing up again before leaving the room.
...
Four hours later.
"Matsumoto."
Rangiku was interrupted as she was finally nearing the end of filling out the lower seats' individual weekly progress reports.
"Hmmm?"
"I need you to deliver these documents to the Central 46, correctional department. Also, it's the first of July..."
"Eh...? The date doesn't ring a bell, taicho. Geez, with all the things you had me do, you really didn't expect me to remember–"
"New recruits. You're familiar with the process. I have five prospects since we still have open seats that needs to be filled. Submit these to the head of the assembly." Handing her the paperwork.
Rangiku sighed loudly. "Hai, taicho."
"Central 46 first, then pick up the recruits on your way back." Finding it a necessity to repeat things to his fukutaicho.
"Hai, I got it. I got it, geez."
...
...
Ugh. Why did I pray to have my taicho back again? So I can work like a slave? Granted the paperwork had been much less...but still. He's been extra bossy lately.
Matsumoto was grumbling as she finally looked over the report to be handed to the correctional office when she almost doubled over. She read the part again,
...Ichimaru Gin's parole expires June 30, 2013. He will be kept in the facility until you, Hitsugaya Toushiro 10th division Captain, guardian and supplicant of his release, shall escort him. If in the position where you're not able to appear, your lieutenant is accepted as a trusted representative...
What bullshit is this? He's now to babysit Gin? As if he doesn't have enough to do already! Hardly does he have any time left to visit his wife... or does he find more things to do so he won't visit her as often?
Mou...Unohana have warned me about this. His guilt is gnawing at him again that he can't stand to be near his wife. And he thinks I don't notice when he goes through my secret stash of sake!
Tsk. He needs to be next to Momo instead of wasting time helping Ichimaru. I mean, what has Gin ever done to deserve this act of grace from my taicho?
Her temper festering the whole time while she had to fill out more paperwork when she got to the correctional office building, then waited for another hour to have them release the man. Rangiku turned her back and started to head out the minute she saw him walking towards her. He silently followed.
She stopped when they were finally out of the gates to face him. "Well, that is all that's required of me here. I'll see you around, Gin."
Ichimaru stretched, smiling in the process. "Tell ya what, I was kinda surprised to see ya here." He reached to chuck her chin but she dodged it.
"You might have the time to just stand here and talk, but I have some other things to do. Go report to the third division, Gin. I'm sure they're waiting for you."
"Ahh...but ya see Rangiku, you're suppose to escort me until we get there. And then I'll be off of your lovely hands."
"Tsk. Fine, whatever, then they'll just have to wait for I have to get to the assembly now."
On the way there she realized that the 3rd division vice-captain will be at the assembly too, so she could just hand off Ichimaru to him. It's like killing two birds with one stone, as the saying goes. Feeling a little proud of herself now that she could save some time.
Gin just followed behind as she hurriedly walked, content to be freely ogling her form. He almost laughed at the irony. Remembering how she would be the one that followed him everywhere during their adolescent years...
"What do you think, Gin, of marrying me someday?" They were by the pond, fishing. She was sitting closer to the water.
"Did ya just ask me to marry you, Rangi-chan?"
She turned around to look at him. "This is probably the fifth time I've asked. You just like to ignore me. Hmpf!"
"What makes you so sure that I'm the one? What about those other boys that breaks each others noses just to impress ya?"
"Pfft! They joke too much. Gin, look at me, I'm old enough. I know what I want and I want you."
The seriousness in her eyes was a little disarming. "...Uhh...okay."
And he wasn't prepared either when she squealed and jumped on top of him, her arms around his neck. "So is that a 'yes'?"
He gulped. He's been trying to avoid situations where he's in contact with her well-developed body, and to stop noticing it by finding ways to steal her some loose fitting clothes... it doesn't help either when she openly confesses her undying love every chance she gets. "Rangiku, we need to catch fish for dinner or we'll starve tonight."
"Mou...alright." Pouting as she pulled away and sat back down, grabbing her fishing line. ...
"If it makes ya feel any better, you know that I love ya right?" playfully kicking her shoulder from behind.
"I know that, baka. But it's different when you don't say yes to marrying me. Like I'm your sister or something." She grumbled.
"I don't know. It just doesn't seem right for the girl to ask the guy, that's all."
She looked back at him with gleaming eyes. "So you will ask me someday, Gin?"
He shrugged. "If ya quit asking me, then yeah." And once I find a job so I can provide you with everything you deserve.
"Good. Then I'll just have to wait..."
He closed his eyes now as his heart fluttered at the memory. He inhaled, getting his lungs full of her enticing scent as she walked on ahead. Also imagining his hands buried deep into her golden tresses. The corner of his lips slanted, she is what all my dreams are made of. Though he immediately frowned, what almost all the men here dreams of.
Too preoccupied to notice that she had abruptly stopped as he accidentally walked into her. Gin's quick reflexes took advantage of their proximity. He buried his nose in her hair and 'stabilized' himself by holding on to her slender waist.
Rangiku quickly whipped her head around, "Do you mind?" Elbowing him on the ribcage.
"Geez, Rangi-chan. I stumbled into you, stopping all of a sudden like that."
"Well pay attention, boke! And don't invade my personal space ever again." She said through gritted teeth. Minding the noise they were making as all eyes were focused on them; or rightly, on him.
There were whispers among the crowd of a "traitor", a "backstabber" and a "snake". Their stares following him as he slowly made his way towards the back of the large crowd, easy to pinpoint as he's a head or two taller than the rest of the officers. Although Ichimaru was unaffected by the negative attention that's focused on him –he looked bored and yawned even.
It made Rangiku feel weird and a little confused. Not because she has been seen with the guy, but because she felt defensive all of a sudden; to tell them that they are wrong and that Gin is innocent. If taicho sees the good in him, then they will also–
"Matsumoto-fukutaicho, I need your division's list of recruits please." The assembly officer who was already on the podium interrupted her thoughts.
"Oh, sorry. Hai, here you go."
"Okay, let's start since all division representatives are now here. Let me remind you again that if your name isn't mentioned there's always next year. For whatever reason you are here, whether to change to a new division, to get a higher seat, or you just graduated from the Academy - - the captains have reviewed your files and they take all of that into consideration. And of course, they also pick you based on your qualifications and commendations. So please stand behind your fukutaicho once your name and division have been duly delegated. And with that, let's begin..."
Rangiku waved hi to the other lieutenants and fished out her nail file to stand next to Yachiru, who was digging into her bag of candy as the names were being called.
"Iwaten Daitaro...6th Division, eighth seat." Applause and congratulatory back-thumps were heard as the assembly continued.
"Sato Naoki...9th Division, fourth seat."
"Sasaki Riku...7th Division, eighth seat."
"Arikida Takumi...3rd Division, fifth seat." Reminding Matsumoto that she had to talk to the said division's fukutaicho about a certain matter. Looking for Kira's lieutenant...
"Ichimaru Gin...10th Division, fourth seat."
"Huh?" Rangiku dropped her nail file. The announcement didn't follow any applause however.
"Always at yer service..." The former-taicho had made his way back to stand behind her and exaggeratedly bowed.
"Ha! That's funny!" Yachiru had to loudly point out. "Wait until I tell Ken-chan about this!"
…
"Geeez, why are ya so upset, Rangi-chan? And slow down will ya! Us new recruits aren't used to this fast paced 10th division way of doing things." Gin joked as he and four other officers followed after their new fukutaicho who hurriedly entered through the large gates.
"Just shut up and follow me! All of you...stand here, Hitsugaya-taicho will be here soon to give instructions." As she stomped out of the training grounds.
Toushiro was just finishing up a document. He looked up with an eyebrow raised when she slammed the doors shut.
"Your new recruits are here, taicho."" Her chin defiantly cocked.
"Well, ah, thank you Matsumoto."
"Why are you helping him out? I'm just curious...why this sudden whim to just lend him a hand?"
"That is all, Matsumoto." As he stood up and brushed past her to leave the room.
Absolutely and teeth-grittingly hating that tone in his voice at this point, Rangiku huffed as she too left the office. Her patience have been running thin as of late.
The nerve! Keeping information from me –we'll see about that! I can play that game too, taicho. She vowed.
...
...
It was well past lunchtime when he returned to his desk, looking forward to drowning himself in the mountain of paperwork...
Though an hour later Toushiro's ears pricked up as he heard someone moving about in the bedroom.
"Tch."
Annoyed to having his productive pace interrupted, he stood up and made his way down the hall. The bedroom door was already open and he recognized the maid. She was in the process of removing the heavy white curtains.
"Who gave you instructions to enter this room?"
"Uhmm Ma-Matsumoto-fukutaicho, sir. She said it needed to be clean-"
"She's mistaken. In the future, no one should enter this room until I permit it."
"H-hai, sir. So- Sorry, sir." The maid bowed low and scurried away.
Toushiro shook his head, feeling wretched for losing his temper. Reminding himself to apologize later.
Though he wanted to make sure first as he walked over to the spiral staircase... A sigh of relief escaped him when he saw that the maid didn't have a chance to clean just yet.
For it's still there. It was an imprint of Momo's small hand on the banister, just a faint shadow under the thick inlay of dust.
...
...
A/N: Please review.