A/N: Hey guys! Life's crazy just like this fic.

Chapter 26

My leg wouldn't stop shaking up and down. They had taken her away so fast… if something happened… No. I couldn't even think about it. I wouldn't let the worst case scenario cross my mind.

"She's a fighter," Penelope reminded me as she squeezed my hand. It reminded me so much of when I held Emily's hand. When it was PG, instead of EP, who was in the hospital. "She's going to make it. I just feel it."

I nodded and laid my head on her shoulder. As comforting as my best friend was, the one person I really needed at the time was Emily.

"Are you going to tell her?" When she saw my confused look, she added, "When she wakes up, are you going to tell her that you have feelings for her?"

I raised my eyebrows at my friend. "How did you know?"

She grinned slightly. "I sort of fibbed when I acted like I didn't know that Em was gay. I mean it's obvious. Don't look so surprised at me, honey, I'm the Oracle of Quantico. I see all. Also, your face goes all red when Em wears thin clothing."

I blushed and chuckled slightly along with her. But then a wave of sadness washed over me when I remembered that Emily could be dying and I was laughing with Pen. "She can't die," I told her with a slight quiver to my voice. "I never told her. She needs to know. She can't die thinking that I didn't love her."

The patted my head and brushed my hair out of my face. "I know. But everything is going to be okay. She'll be okay. Just take a deep breath."

"Emily's too stubborn to leave us," Morgan stated as he sat down on the opposite side of Penelope. "She's going to wake up and try to walk out the front door. She's going to make a faster recovery than possible, just to get out of the damn hospital."

"She does hate hospitals more than the average person," Spence agreed as he and the rest of the team walked over to us. "Though, there is a large number of the population that has nosocomephobia, or a phobia of hospitals. And people have every right to be afraid! Did you know healthcare-associated infections are more likely to lead to death than car accidents?"

We all stared at him. But we didn't stop him. While his facts were utterly morbid, he did a good job keeping our thoughts occupied.

"Family of Emily Prentiss?" We all turned around immediately and walked up to the doctor. "Woah, this is a crowd. I'm Dr. Sichitiu. Emily lost a lot of blood. She was in a very critical stage when she first got here. But we were able to close everything up with one surgery. It was a clean cut. So no major injuries. We did a scan of her brain to make sure there wasn't any bleeding and luckily she has no major injuries there as well. The one troubling thing that we found was a high dose of drugs. Experimental drugs, in fact. We can't even pinpoint some of them. We are going to have to keep a close eye on that to make sure there are no side effects."

"Is she stable?" Rossi asked, saying what we were all wondering.

She didn't answer right away. "Emily isn't what we would consider in critical or immediate danger. But we have no idea how she will wake up with the drugs and the possibility of a concussion. Her injuries are no longer life-threatening, but we honestly have no idea what will happen when she wakes up."

"And when do you think she will wake up?" Hotch asked the doctor.

She smiled gently at all of us (she was obviously experienced with telling good and bad news). "She could wake up any time now. She's on morphine, so she might not be able to stay awake, but she should gain consciousness soon."

"When, uh, when can we go inside and see her?" I asked the woman, desperately wanting her to let me see her.

"Normally, we wouldn't allow anyone to be in the room with her since we don't know how she will exactly wake up. But since she was in a traumatic situation and lost consciousness during that event, she has no knowledge of where she is and what happened to her. I suggest that at least one person that she knows should be in the room that can easily comfort her. Someone who she is the closest to, maybe?"

"JJ, Morgan, you two should go. We'll stay right out here waiting for one of you to come to get us," Hotch directed, making the decision in only a few seconds.

I was grateful for his command. Derek and I followed the woman down the fluorescent, emotionless hallway. I wasn't a fan of hospitals either.

The room was tight, but I was glad that no one else shared the small space. There was a nurse in the room when we got there that was checking her vital signs. I felt unsteady when my eyes traveled to the bed.

Derek wrapped his arms around my waist to keep me steady. We walked to the opposite wall and sat on the two chairs.

Emily looked as pale as a ghost. I mean, the woman was always pale. But this, this looked wrong. She was always so full of life. Cracking jokes, beating bad guys, and saving the day. Emily didn't even look like Emily when she seemed so lifeless.

"I wish she told me," Derek muttered as he put his hand on her leg. "About Tyburczy. And especially about her father. I mean, more than anyone, I could understand what she had gone through. I thought… I dunno. I thought she trusted me."

"She does," I argued, putting one hand on his shoulder. "It was never about trust, Derek. Her not telling you was about everyone else in her life previously that told her not to share her feelings. She grew up with an emotionless witch. She grew up with a man who abused her. She was taught to keep everything inside at such a young age. It has nothing to do with how much she trusted us."

"I should've been there in LA from the beginning. By her side. That's what partners do. But I had to be a self-righteous skeptic. I should've just followed—"

"This isn't your fault!" I told him, putting my hands on his cheek as he tried to turn his head, now wanting me to see him crying. "Hey, don't do this to yourself. We were all in agreement. Hotch wouldn't have let you go anyway. Don't feel guilty. We are all to blame."

Derek nodded and wiped his tears away quickly. "Do you think she'll forgive us?"

"We're family," I reminded him. "Of course she'll forgive us. She probably won't let us forget, though."

"Do you think Emily will be okay when she wakes up? With all of those drugs? And who knows what they did to her."

I shook my head. I didn't want to even think about what kind of emotional torture Emily went through. "I don't know. But she's a badass. If anyone can get through it, it's Emily Prentiss. Besides, she's got all of us."

He smiled before giving me a serious look. "Was Tyburczy being crazy or sane when she said that Prentiss is in love with you?"

I sighed. I had hoped everyone had forgotten about that. "I don't want to speak for her. She never directly expressed her feelings to me. I guess I didn't even consider the possibility that she could have feelings for me."

"And how about you? Do you have feelings for Prentiss?" He asked me, looking slightly surprised.

"I broke up with Will," I told him, not knowing how to put my feelings in words. "I broke up with Will because I didn't want to be with him. I- I don't know what will happen. Emily has gone through so much, and I don't want to just spin her world around. The last time we talked about us, she told me I was killing her. I don't want to make her pain worse."

Derek nodded and stared at the woman connected to the machines. "I don't think that anything can be worse than this. Don't keep your feelings from her, JJ. Let her decide. Because maybe the one thing that she needs to get better will be you."

He was right and I knew it. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to wake up so I could tell her. But I knew that I wasn't ready. That I was still a coward. And I wanted to give her time, so I didn't bombard her. She needed the whole team right now, not just me.

I was about to reach for her hand when I noticed her eyes flutter.

"Emily…"

She opened her eyes and jumped up. She screamed and tried to get out of the bed. Derek and I stood up and tried to push her back down on the bed. The machine started beeping and doctors ran into the room, trying to assist us to settle her back down.

"Emily! It's okay," I tried to tell her over the loudness of her yells. "Emily it's us! It's JJ and Derek."

I saw as her eyes traveled around the room and she stopped struggling. She started to breathe and shake uncontrollably as if she was reacting to some medicine terribly.

"She's in shock," A doctor said as she tried to calm Emily down.

"Emily!" I shouted again. I took her hand and kissed it. "Emily, it's me. You're safe. Sasha- she's gone."

She looked at me and I couldn't understand the expression. She went from scared to… despondent. She finally started to breath slower, and she closed her eyes. She was no longer hysterical, but now she seemed like she was sorrowful. Like Sasha being gone made her depressed rather than reassured.

The doctor looked at her stomach and sighed from relief. "Her stitches weren't torn open. That's good news. She's still on track for the road to recovery. Since she is in law enforcement, I will let you decide if she needs a psychiatrist."

"No," Derek quickly told the woman. "We can take care of her here. But thank you."

"Then she's good for now," The doctor stated. "We'll come by and check in on her in thirty minutes. Press the call button if she starts to struggle again. We can be in here in no time at all if you need anything."

I was thankful when the doctor left. Everything seemed to calm down.

"I'll go get the others," Derek said. "You try to make her feel better. See if she responds to you." He quickly left. I thought that he must have been scared by the whole thing. Honestly, I was too. But nothing could separate me from her at the moment.

"Emily," I said, holding both of her hands. "The others are coming soon. We all are so glad that you are okay."

She opened those dark eyes and looked into mine. I couldn't see how she was feeling. There was so much sadness in her eyes. Like she had just lost everything.

"I'm so glad-"

"Is she dead?" Emily croaked out. "Sasha, is she dead?"

I felt so uncomfortable with having to tell her. Even if Sasha had kidnapped her, Emily did love her at some point.

"When we were trying to save you from her," I explained in the most sympathetic way as possible. "She ended her own life. But you're okay. We got you back."

Before she turned her head away from me, I saw the tears enter her eyes. I didn't understand them. Her tears. Her sadness.

"It's my fault…" She whispered so low I could barely hear her. "I left her … years ago. I ruined... I … crazy. She killed ... those people for me. I'm ... reason so ... people are dead."

"What?" I asked, not hearing what she had said.

She didn't even have a chance to reply to me. The team walked in looking so excited. As if a switch turned on, Emily leaned forward and put on a smile on her face.

"Hey, everyone," Emily greeted cheerily. She couldn't fool me. Her eyes were still dark. Her eyes couldn't lie.

I don't have much to say except that I have no medical knowledge and I don't know how these things work. So I'm sorry if anything is unrealistic or inaccurate.

Thanks so much for reading! Reviews are welcome!