A/N: More chapters!

Chapter 28

The hospital didn't think it would be a good idea for me to travel. I told the team to go back to DC, but they were reluctant to leave. After three days, I finally convinced Rossi and Hotch to go home. Morgan and Garcia had bought tickets to go home in the next few days, and Reid and JJ decided they wanted to stay for as long as I had to be in LA.

I was thankful that no one asked me too much about my time with Sasha. I didn't want to have to think about it let alone have to explain it. They talked to me like it didn't happen. Like I wasn't kidnapped by someone I loved and trusted.

However, I could feel their eyes on me. It was as if they were waiting for me to fall apart. I almost wondered if they thought I was handling it too well.

JJ stayed by my side almost constantly. I wished that she would just go with Morgan and Garcia. She kept asking me how I was feeling as if I could be feeling good or fine in any way possible. Besides, I didn't want to see her after I admitted to myself that I was in love with her. I couldn't handle seeing her pity knowing that it would only increase if she knew I was pathetic enough to not be able to stop having feelings for a woman with a boyfriend.

It was the easiest to hang out with Reid. He didn't feel the need to ask me how I felt. He seemed to know how I was feeling without asking. He talked to me about books, movies, shows and we played a lot of chess and poker. I felt most like myself when I was with him.

I couldn't sleep at night. Every time I drifted off, I saw Sasha's eyes. The insane look in them. I saw the way her eyes darkened when I told her I loved JJ and before she had stabbed me. Other times, I was able to sleep without her stare. But I dreamt of distorted images of the memories that the drugs brought to the surface. During the day I was able to push them back. My unconscious mind wasn't capable of that level of repression.

As Reid and I were in a heated battle of the card game, War, I checked the clock on the wall. It was already late morning and none of the others were at the hospital yet. I was grateful, but I also knew something had to be up. Usually, everyone came to me as early as possible.

"Are they meeting with each other to talk about me?" I asked him as his Ace took my Jack.

He looked up at me with a conflicted guilt in his eyes. "Morgan and Garcia are trying to convince JJ to go home with them. She wants to stay, but her job is important. But either way, I'll stay, of course."

I sighed and shook my head in annoyance. "JJ should go home. It's not like there's anything she can do here."

"You mean except being here for you?" He asked. I glared at him. "She doesn't know what to do with herself when you're pushing her away. She's hurting, too."

"I don't want her to be hurting," I told him with a great sigh. "But I don't need her pitiful stares either. I just want everyone to act as nothing happened. I just want this stupid wound to be fixed and then I can go home and pretend like this didn't happen. I can go back to my life."

He smiled sympathetically. "I know. But even you know that's impossible. There is no going back. It stays with you. You know this. You've talked to enough victims."

I snorted and angrily replied, "I'm not a victim." Reid raised an eyebrow at me. "Reid… don't. I'm already over it."

"Really? You're already over the whole kidnapping, stabbing, and drugging? That's impressive."

I rolled my eyes and harrumphed. "Don't be sarcastic, Reid. I can comp-"

"Compartmentalize better than most people," He interrupted. "I know, Prentiss. You've said it enough times. But just because you can push those thoughts away don't mean they are gone. They're still there. Take it from me, pushing away the pain doesn't get rid of the-"

"No, Spencer. You don't get to tell me how to deal with my shit. I know that you were kidnapped. I was there, remember? You were the one who was a total douche to me afterward. This is how I get through the pain. You might think it's unhealthy, but it's just who I am. And you're just going to have to deal with that."

He stared at me for a few seconds in silence. Eventually, he nodded. "Okay. But if it means anything, I wish I listened to you. I wish I accepted your help. Maybe I would have gotten better faster. I'm just glad you're alive. That you're here. I don't know what I would have done without you."

I smiled at him and took his hand. "Thanks, Reid. And I promise. If I need to talk or share feelings, you'll be the person I go to."

He let me wrap my arms around him awkwardly. Spencer Reid might have been uncomfortable in my embrace, but holding him made me feel safe. Reid was my brother in so many ways. And he deserved a better sister than me.

JJ POV

"I know that Hotch needs me," I argued with them. "But Emily needs me more. She might not know that she needs me-"

"We understand that, pumpkin. We'd all like to stay here with the beauty if we could. But there are still serial killers out there that we need to take down. Emily wouldn't want us to stop doing our job just to watch her."

Derek nodded. "Yeah, she'd kick our asses if we did that. Besides, Reid is there. He's the only one that has seemed to get through to her."

"You mean the only person that she doesn't seem irritated by?" I asked, knowing what he really meant.

"Yep," Morgan replied simply. "They went through similar things. Let him help her out. I know you wanna protect your girl, but he's got her right now. You can go home with us."

I sighed, giving in. "Fine. But the flight's tomorrow, right? I still have today to be with her?" When they both nodded I added, "Good. I'm going to go see her. Coming with?"

Emily looked like she hadn't slept in months. The nurses told me that she wasn't sleeping at night and that they couldn't convince her to rest. I wondered what was keeping her up at night. There could be a lot of options.

The second I entered her room, her demeanor shifted. She looked tense like me just being there made her on edge.

"Guess who can have solids today!" Emily cheered when the three of us came to her side.

"Let me guess… Pretty boy?" Derek joked.

Spence glared at him. "No, Morgan. Emily can eat solids."

"That's awesome!" I told her, sitting down next to her. "What do you think you'll eat first?"

She avoided my eyes when she replied, "I'm not sure. There aren't many options here. Honestly, the only thing I'm craving is golumpki. I used to hate it when I was a kid."

"Golumpki?" Pen asked, looking bewildered.

Before Emily could reply, Spence interrupted, "Golumpki is a classic polish cabbage roll dish consisting of cooked cabbage leaves wrapped around a variety of fillings. It is common to the cuisines of the Balkans, Northern and Eastern Europe, and Iran, as well as West Asia and Northern China." He noticed that we were all staring at him and added, "Sorry. You wanted Prentiss to answer that."

She chuckled lightly. "It's fine, Reid. You're absolutely right. My nanny made me it all the time when I lived in Poland."

"JJ's going to come home with us," Pen told Emily all of a sudden. "Is there anything you want to do with us for our last day here?"

Emily tapped her chin playfully and answered, "I want to take your money in Poker."

I'm a polish gal who loves golumpki. I just had to add it in.

Emily needs some help, y'all.

Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!