Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Cleaned and updated the chapter. Please re-read if ya like.

Fluffometer: It's PG 13 high. There. =)

A/N: Please review. *Squeal* Mention favorite parts!

WATASHI NO KOKORO

Chapter 46

Anata

The gaiety followed Momo wherever she went as her laughter have been heard peal off the hallways, throughout the courtyard, and in the gardens.

It was better than music. It was life.

And it's usually heard along with the trilling sound of his fukutaicho's. Toushiro had left her with Matsumoto that morning seated by the kitchen table but made sure she's okay first, for she almost choked when she snorted and covered her mouth. Trying hard not to sputter the tea that she had just drank while Rangiku continued on with her hilarious story.

Hinamori managed to gulp it down before cracking up. The melodious sound making his lips quirk; rolling his eyes at the scene before heading out for a captain's meeting. Pleased that she's even more carefree as of late.

So it made him feel uneasy to sense her reiatsu now distressed. It didn't help either that he's been stuck in this fucking meeting for the past hour and a half.

Unohana noticed Hitsugaya's usually stoic eyes move twice to glance at the door despite maintaining his utterly bored expression. She's been keeping a close sense on Hinamori as well but it didn't cause Retsu to feel alarmed because the girl didn't seem to be in pain. Hinamori just seemed...angry at the moment. However, it was enough to cause the youngest captain to twitch from concern.

The soutaicho was lecturing Hisagi and Kira regarding the stains on their haori that Toushiro was just about to rudely interrupt, when Retsu interjected.

"Yamamoto-soutaicho. If I may be so bold and ask if the rest of us can be dismissed? I, for one, have really important matters to attend to." She asked in that sugar-coated way that even the Genryusai couldn't refuse. She winked at the boy when the old man gave them permission to leave.

Hitsugaya nodded in return –forever indebted to the gracious captain. He was the first to walk out of the conference room, immediately flash-stepping to get home.

...

…

"Ugh. Stupid."

Momo was standing in front of the bedroom window, barefoot and dressed in a white sleeveless cotton dress from the real world that Matsumoto had avidly shopped for –adding more to her maternity wardrobe. Ridiculous, really, for she's only going to be pregnant for two more months. She rubbed her nose and sniffled, tears of frustration marring her face.

Toushiro saw her then, her back towards him. Reminding him of dreams that he would have during the coma. With her hair now reaching past her waist, the ends curling in its natural way, her porcelain skin giving off a haze as it reflects the morning rays –she looked ethereal. Taking his breath away every time he realizes that she is indeed real. Though the dark eyes that turned to face him were agitated, the long lashes spiked from just crying.

Momo quickly hid her face, wiping the tears away. Feeling idiotic for forgetting that he can detect every fluctuation of her reiatsu. And she had thought about masking it but that will just send out an even bigger flag. Baka Momo. Making him rush over here for no reason...

"Hey." Hitsugaya gathered her in his arms, as closely as he can and brushed the damp wisps away from her face. The aquamarines were worriedly inquisitive that no questions needed to be asked.

She shook her head and bowed it lower as more tears stung her eyes.

"Hinamori."

She broke down at the tone of his voice. Feeling even more stupid now that she couldn't seem to stop. I just realized that I'm as big as a cow, is what she really wanted to tell him.

Toushiro felt helpless at this point that all he could do was hold her. Waited until her small sobs abated... "Can you tell me what's wrong –see if I can help?" He carefully asked in case she starts crying again. She nodded but couldn't look him in the eyes.

He watched as she lifted her right fist just underneath his chin and slowly turned it over. Then opened it to reveal her wedding and engagement rings...

Toushiro was still not quite understanding.

"They won't fit." She said in a small voice.

"..." He had to bite his tongue. For she clearly is so upset over this.

"I found them in the drawer. I've forgotten about...about them. Ano... and now my fingers have swollen up." Her voice started to crack but steadied herself by taking a deep breath. "I tried to have Tobiume's heat soften the metal but it's platinum you see. I didn't want to hurt anybody if...if I pushed the temperature that high."

He slowly closed her hand and clasped it within his while he searched her face. "You just wanted to wear them again, is that it?"

"Yes."

"Then I would just have them re-sized." He shrugged as if it's the most obvious and easiest thing to do.

Hinamori nodded. "Thank you, Shiro-chan." She felt terrible asking this from him.

Toushiro fished something out from his pocket. It was a paper clip. He placed the object in between his teeth; straightened the coils and then lifted her left hand. Carefully twisting the thin malleable metal around the desired finger to get a measurement. And smiled that boyish smile when he asked for her rings.

Momo faced him as she placed them on his open palm.

"I'll be back, love," kissing the back of her hand before leaving.

…

...

A few days later.

She was by herself; legs dangling from one of the benches that the 10th Division captain had instructed to be placed under some of the trees in his garden. It has recently been the couple's custom to watch the quiet and beautiful scenery as she rests her head on his lap...

Momo have had it when she counted the hundredth sakura blossom that touched the ground. It took her two hours to accomplish for these were the last of the flowers to tardily shed, as winter is just but a few weeks away.

Ack. Why does Rangiku-san have to be so into this 'baby's shower'? It's insane.

Making her feel a little left out and guilty for having her friends go through all this trouble just for her. Even Yachiru had to leave early today, said something about being in charge of the 'games' in the upcoming party.

I'm bored. Momo finally admitted to herself while holding her hand out to inspect her diamond ring once again. A knowing smile dawned on her face. Remembering how she woke up from an afternoon nap to find them comfortably embedded in her finger.

Entranced for the next twenty minutes at how the flawless diamond refracts and plays with the afternoon light, reminding her of Toushiro's god-like wings...

Wish Shiro-chan would hurry up from that meeting.

She sighed and snuggled deeper into her soft ivory shawl. A gleam now visible in her eyes when she looked down to touch her belly; inadvertently falling back into a daze...

There was a movement in a nearby bush that suddenly caught her attention. She gasped when the white animal halted a few feet away.

Chappeh!

Momo excitedly followed the cute fluffy thing as it hopped farther into the garden. Ecstatic. Remembering how Toushiro would always catch one for her. The reason why she always had the affinity for these gentle creatures.

Though the little sucker seemed to know of her limited speed. It would stop after every three hops or so, groom itself then move again when Hinamori gets too close. Taunting her almost.

"Tsk. Mou...come now, I just want to pet you!" She said, tucking her hair behind her ears and hiked the hem of her dress as she continued. Determined to touch the bunny. Unaware of a protruding branch until she walked into it and it stabbed her just above the knee; instantly felt the blood trickle down her leg.

"Ah. Boke!"

But immediately held her tongue to see if any of the looming guards noticed. Two of them had their heads perked towards her; sensing something awry.

Hinamori quickly sat down on the grass, pretending to pick up a wilted blossom from the ground. Cheesily grinning while she waved to one of the curious officers. At the same time cursed the furry white devil as it went on its merry way, haughtily raising its rear end as if to tell Momo to just kiss it.

I'll get you one of these days...sticking her tongue out.

"So ya just goin' to bleed to death is that your plan?"

"Kyaaaah!"

Gin crouched to her level with a hidden smile on his face. Aware of how difficult it is to move in her condition, he asked, "Do ya mind?" as he easily hoisted Momo up and placed her back on a bench. Ichimaru hissed when he saw how deep the wound really is. He ripped his sleeve and used it to tie around her leg in order to cease the bleeding. "I'll heal it once it stops gushin' out like that. There's a first aid kit in the office..." Carrying her again.

Hinamori bit on a nail out of concern. "Eto...ahehe. You really don't have to carry me, Gin-san. I'm quite heavy."

"Nonsense."

They were inside the office within a half-second. He slid the door closed and gently situated her on the couch. Momo tried to lift her leg to see the damage so she can help him dress the wound but it was impossible. Though she can see the bloodstain on her tabi. "Ack. Crap."

Gin finally found the kit and knelt in front of her. Quiet while he tended to her leg. Hinamori was a little self-conscious at first but the sudden relief from the pain made her feel lighthearted. She sighed.

"Ano...sorry about your shirt."

"I'll be fine. I'm not the one bleedin'." He joked.

Momo caught a glimpse of his eyes, and couldn't seem to help herself when she reached to move his light gray hair aside from obstructing the rare-colored orbs.

"You have beautiful eyes." She grinned.

"...thank you, fukutaicho." He smiled back, a little surprised. Realizing how refreshingly young the girl is –in overall manner and appearance. Like an untainted child.

Momo started to tunelessly hum when it was silent again. Gin continuing to focus his bakudo on her injury...

"Hmmm...my favorite stories from Rangiku are the ones when she doesn't seem to catch herself. And she would talk about those days growing up with you...she won't outright say it, but I could tell that they were her happiest."

Ichimaru glanced up finding it encouraging that Rangiku talks about him still. Though becoming guilt-stricken as he stared into those innocent brown eyes. How these people were once pawns to his scheme to defeat Aizen – used them in the worst ways possible. And feeling so wretched at this point that he had a hard time formulating his thoughts.

"... I-I've been meanin' to apologize, Hinamori-kun. But words or anything for that matter –aren't enough to repair the depth of the damages I've caused –"

Momo shook her head. "Please don't be sorry, Gin. Because...I'm all healed now. It stopped bleeding, see? I don't feel a thing! Thanks to you." She gushed before wrapping her arms around his neck for one tight hug.

Toushiro have just came back from picking up their lunch; sliding the doors open to see his wife embracing Ichimaru. 'The fuck?

"Oi, what's going on in here?" One of his eyebrow twitched when Momo didn't immediately let go of the man.

"Save your apologies for Rangiku-san. She's the one that needs to hear it." She whispered in Gin's ear while pulling away. Then he helped her up as the girl almost skipped towards her husband to join him for their late lunch.

...

...

…

This dream...

His eyes were wide open, searching the dark as the memory became fresh once again. His blade piercing her flesh on that haunting day. Felt that one last throb echo before her heart froze still.

Hitsugaya sat up and buried his face in his hands. "Kuso."

Deciding that he needs to get the hell out of there before his insecurities swallow him up. And seeing Momo sleeping beside him didn't comfort Toushiro at all, knowing she's due to give birth in three weeks or less. He covered her up to her shoulders with the blanket that she unconsciously kicks away during the night. Her escalated temperature countered the November cold which also signaled the nearing of the day.

Momo was ecstatic of anticipation while Toushiro festered of apprehension. Completely masking it around her, hence the reason for these nightly sweats. The taicho-level reiatsu could only be confined for so long.

He opted for standing out in the cold instead of letting it loose in the training grounds; not wanting to be too far away from her. So he went up the balcony, setting up an invisible barrier around his range so as not to disturb anybody at this time of night. Silent as he freely lost himself in these troubled thoughts...

"Shiro-chan?" She interrupted an hour later. Yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Huh? Momo... Oi, go back to sleep. Come."

"Eto...what's wrong? What were you doing up here?"

"...It got hot, that's all. Thought I'd get some air."

"Is it because of me? Sorry. I could sleep in the nursery." Upset for making him uncomfortable in any way.

"Don't be ridiculous, Momo."

"Toushiro, this isn't the first I've felt you leave around this time." Indeed, for she would wake up next to an empty space in the middle of the night. Though the balcony doors would be slightly open and would immediately feel comforted to sense his cool reiatsu nearby. Yet too heavily exhausted to bother getting up and checking up on him, that she would just go back to sleep.

"...it's nothing." Silent now while he tugged her arm, carefully leading her down the stairs. She stopped mid-step.

"Please speak Shiro-chan for I cannot read your mind."

He acted like he didn't hear her as he continued down to sit on the edge of their bed. Momo just watched from where she was as he ran his hands into his hair and stared at the floor.

"I feel like I'm about to lose grasp again." I've seen you die so many times. In real life and in these dreams...

"Of what, Toushiro?"

"Of you."

"...I don't understand. I'm right here."

He looked up with a crooked smile completely bereft of humour. "For now."

Hinamori understood as she slowly made her way to stand in front of him, holding her midsection. "We're going to be fine, Shiro-chan. I've never been so ready in my life. Unohana and the midwife –"

"I'm the reason why you get hurt. Do you realize that? They deem me to be this...god. Huh. Some god." Hitsugaya's lips twitched; slightly amused. His voice just above a whisper as he continued. "It's inevitable, for there are always those who will find satisfaction in proving that I'm not. The very reason why I'm such a hazard..." He said, still not able to face her while he berated himself.

"Hai. I'm considered your Achilles' heel, Shiro-chan –your weak point." Momo concluded and aware that it's more than just the delivery-day jitters that's troubling him.

"Tch. No. You are why I'm this strong Hinamori. Without you there's no reason to be...no reason for anything."

The words were so poignant that she was speechless for a moment. Guilty for making him be this powerful just so to protect her. However, she doesn't question it anymore. Completely aware that it's not out of duty but the depth of his love. Yet despite of it all, she's not liking the direction of where this discussion is leading to.

"And in order to keep you safe, it seems...I can't be near you." The teal eyes greatly troubled and unsure.

"...why? But I am safe. And I'm here with you aren't I? Just be happy for once. So obstinately pessimistic –"

"Spare me your judgments, Hinamori."

"...I'm not really sure at what you're saying then, Toushiro."

"That...maybe we shouldn't be together anymore." ...

She was about to retort but the lump stuck in her throat made it impossible. The coldness of his words was staggering. Unable to fathom such an idea. "...I see." She took a deep breath of dignity, careful not to cry in front of him as she turned away and slowly headed for the nursery.

His arms wrapped from behind stopping her from going any further. "Fuck. I didn't mean that."

"That was a stupid thing to say, Shiro-chan." Tears streaming down her face.

"Fucking asinine. I'm so sorry, Momo."

Toushiro waited until she took a deep breath to calm down. "It's fine, Shiro-chan. And I was foolish for believing it for a second." She softly laughed, breathing easily now while wiping her tears –which was a little difficult to do when he was holding her so tightly against his hard chest.

"I'm a nervous wreck." He confessed.

"I know."

"Punish me for even thinking it."

"...now you're just being silly."

She sighed to welcome a tender kiss on her shoulder. "I love you, Momo."

"Hai... and I love you."

It was silent for awhile as he just continued to hold her.

...

"Hmm...there are a couple of ways that can help with some of the jitters, Shiro-chan."

"And what's that?"

"First, I'm going to make you a promise. I promise not to...die on you ever again. And the midwife assured that I would be conscious throughout the whole process so it would lessen the chance." She said it with a grin, somewhat nonchalant to not make it as serious as it really is. She finally felt him smile.

"I could live with that. What's the other tip?"

Hinamori moved to loosen the embrace and held his hand.

"Get some much needed sleep."

…

...

...

Matsumoto had been gone from the office all week which the taicho didn't really seem to notice nowadays. The sound of his pen scribbling away filled the companionable silence. There would be small interruptions when the crumpling of paper can also be heard as Hinamori sat in the center of the couch –comfortably lounged with the help of pillows and an ottoman –reading the Sereitei Journal.

Toushiro senses it every time she would coyly steal glances in his direction from time to time. He would then smile or wink back; catching that twinkle in her eye before she reverts her attention back to reading.

It was two hours later when he felt a quick shift in her reiatsu. It lasted about a quarter of a second. Toushiro looked up to find her absorbed in a book and assumed that he might have just mistaken it as the baby's constantly-fluttering spiritual pressure. Resuming his attention back to his documents.

"Ittai..."

"Momo?"

"It's nothing. Don't get up...my leg just fell asleep." Adjusting her position.

Another hour had passed when she hissed again. But this time, instead of giving her husband some lame excuse Momo couldn't contain the pain as it clearly showed on her face.

"I'm so sorry, Shiro-chan. But I think it's time."

...

...

A/N: Please review. Chapter 47 soon to come. I promise! XDD.