Thanks to one and all who read and also for the reviews which were appreciated. This is Jane's take on the events as related. The references to post estuary events are deliberately linked into the excellent one shots written by Antonia Caenis, entitled 'The Seed' and 'The Quiet Man.'

Harry's House

Evening a few minutes later

Harry's jaw almost trembled as he exclaimed, "But Jane I've already explained..."

Only for Jane to interject with an air of weary patience, loaded with the intimation that she was explaining how one and one made two - or how in this instance it hadn't -to a rather dim toddler. "Not exactly. What you've told me is that after you finally took the plunge she was the one who turned down a second date and then later on refused to marry you."

"But that was because..."

"She didn't want to be the focus of office gossip. I can appreciate that, I'm not even saying that her worries were unfounded. I can also understand that she hadn't recovered from the death of her former partner when you proposed, but if she wasn't prepared to run the risk of one and thought it was too soon after the other I don't see what you could have done about it."

Recognising from the muscles quivering around his mouth that Harry was preparing to interrupt she hastily added, "What I'm saying is that if you refused to accept that no meant no, and then kept pursuing her for either a follow up date or marriage then you'd be laying yourself open to an accusation of sexual harassment or stalking."

"I'm sure that Ruth would never have ..."

"Probably not if everything you said about her was true, but Harry I've been listening over the last few days and it doesn't take a genius to work out that you've made enemies who'd love to nail you on any charge, and let's face it, your past history would potentially give that type of suspicion a certain level of credibility."

Knowing that this was exactly why he hadn't pushed the issue all those years ago Harry couldn't argue, "And if she turned down your proposal – I mean Harry you couldn't have done much more to prove you were serious and not just looking for a casual conquest."

Harry felt obliged to correct Jane's mistaken interpretation, "I think you're forgetting Jane – I'd let her down..." his humble self abasement was allowed to proceed no further as an increasingly exasperated Jane, who was keeping the steam whistle of her temper firmly clamped down, shut him up with, "No I hadn't forgotten what you said but can I kindly point out that she accepted your one and only date after the two instances you quoted – when, Danny... Hunter wasn't it..."

Harry silently inclined his head in a nod, allowing her to continue almost without a break, "died and then the need to fabricate a story about her stepbrother. As for your proposal, from your own declared timeline it's obvious that she turned you down well before the re-emergence of Elena Gavrik." That last name being spat out with the venom that only a wronged wife could achieve.

Some daytime nightmares Harry didn't want to relive. "Please Jane –thinking about how I was using Ruth made me feel bad at the time, since she died it makes me shudder."

Jane's initial response to his forlorn utterance was about as sympathic as a scouring pad, "And so it should. I agree with your self assessment in as afar that some of your behaviour, especially in relation to your grubby Berlin past, was disgraceful. That Ruth was the only one you trusted does not excuse you."

Seeing him wince at memories she continued in a gentler vein, "But, I'm sorry if I'm putting this badly, but Harry I do think that in blaming yourself you are in danger of infantilising Ruth."

He greeted this statement with a worried frown, he'd done many things to Ruth, not admittedly as many as he'd imagined doing, but this was a totally new accusation to which he could only muster an, "Errr..."

Realising that where Ruth Evershed was concerned Harry's mind was locked into a tramline headed for the destination named 'eternal blame unblemished' she elucidated, "While praising Ruth's extraordinary intelligence you seem to have forgotten that she did retain the option of choice. She managed to say no to you twice, so presumably she could just as easily have said no to anything else you asked of her."

"But Jane this job demands huge personal sacrifices and..."

Jane's tongue sliced decisively through whatever else he intended to say in excuse of Ruth. "And since our marriage was one of yours I'm in no danger of overlooking that particular point, which produced my next question."

Harry almost sighed, he recognised Jane's desire to ease his burden of self blame, but he just wished she forsake her self appointed role of persistence personified and shut up. He was past the age of wanting endless change, preferring to remain safely enclosed in his bubble of guilt. He'd surrounded himself with it for months as a form of mental discomfort blanket, hugging to himself every wretched ounce of well deserved blame. Now, from a wholly unexpected quarter, he was being towed remorselessly towards new and disturbing concepts, concepts that were every bit as disturbing as the enforced recognition that Ilya, that icy Cold War dispatcher of British spies, was also a suffering human being and ally in despair. Jane after a surreptitious glance to assess how far she could push him took a chance as she asked her threatening question,

"Tell me Harry if you hadn't forced Ruth to continue working after Danny was killed, or to use her relationship with her stepbrother to talk down a rogue officer what would have happened?"

Harry paused before replying with a touch of irritation, "How could I know,'what if' is not my favourite history game, on the basis that events rarely work out as predicted."

"So your best guess? Given that I'm making the big assumption that the pressure you put on her was a final throw."

Forced by Jane's insistent eye to consider these prospects Harry took a few minutes before stating, "As far as the business with her sort of sister in law was concerned we'd tried everything." With a sudden glint of humour he added, "Malcolm and Colin tried to burrow a way out but she detected them – you should have seen the face maintenance pulled when they said it was down to mice. As regarded the immediate aftermath of Danny's death, without Ruth we might not have got Fiona Carter out alive. Although given that she almost threw her life away a few months later.."

Jane was not to be distracted from her own personal operation, that of making Harry see a glimmering of sense,as she ignored the side question of 'who was Colin what was he' to comment robustly, "Wes still had those few extra weeks and memories, at his age that was vital. Continue. The pressure at the funeral..." It was not a request.

Harry would have given much not to relive one of the most appalling experiences of his professional life, the sight of London looking more like downtown Beirut, the scenes more usually brushed off as happening somewhere else, appalling even to one accustomed to wading through blood and blast. "People were dying, we didn't know who or what was behind it, the presence of my best analyst was essential."

"So what you are saying is that pressurising Ruth was the policy of last resort in the interests of the nation!" When Harry didn't answer she did so for him, "Basically what you've cited as the major occasions on which you felt you used Ruth, let her down, disappointed her or whatever description you chose, were fundamentally situations where your judgement forced you to put personal thoughts aside and act in the best interests of the nation. Harry you seem to have forgotten that regardless of what you felt for Ruth you were also the boss and wouldn't be much good at the job if you didn't make that sort of call, and however angry Ruth was she must, deep down, have known that, especially since she was presumably paid to do the same."

Harry forced to reconsider those faraway events replied haltingly, "Impossible to say what would have happened, but yes on those occasions I may have played on her feelings to get the job done but professionally I had no choice."

Quietly, internally, Jane began to think that she might gradually be succeeding in her attempts to chisel through the concrete crust of his personal recrimination. She doubted that Harry's actual narrative was faulty in its essentials, but he seriously needed to adopt a more objective standpoint. This was not an easy or simple adjustment to make when in thrall to emotion, after all it was her failure to see the truth about Robin that had kickstarted Harry's decision to live up to his knighthood. She pushed the thought away, at present this was not about her, it was about Harry, and the last thing their children needed was a father paralysed by guilt as the end result of acting like a human being, ironical given that their main complaint for years had revolved around his apparent lack of feeling.

Harry continued mournfully, "And that of course was what did the damage when she was dragged back from Cyprus. I did my best but I couldn't save George for her, not at the price of condemning thousands to death through radiation poisoning. But it was my telling her, before her exile, the location of the uranium that led to his being killed and made her hate me. She was never quite the same after her return to the Grid. She seemed to be permanently sad, had no joy in life and while she was as good as ever at the job she'd lost her enthusiasm for anything."

Pondering that depressing statement, and contrasting the sight of the jaded man voicing it, now anchored into his late middle age, against her memories of the charming maverick recruited in his twenties, Jane decided to nudge him in the direction of some alternative theories relating to the perceived personality change of the deified object that was Ruth Evershed. First line of attack, the application of some robust commonsense,

"No doubt that death did affect her, but becoming wearied and worn by the job seems to be an occupational hazard. Didn't you say that Tom left because he was burnt out? Obviously I don't know about other staff members but Harry, truthfully do you feel the same way about the job as you did thirty years ago? I seem to recall you telling me that you even proffered your resignation because you were feeling unclean."

Harry was suddenly subjected to a vision flitting across his memory, not just of Tom but also the shades of Adam, Jo and Ros, nor was he entirely certain of Danny Hunter's state of mind at the time of his death. He wouldn't have been able to dispute Jane's theory anyway because after a short thoughtful pause Jane was continuing, "So despite hating you she was persuaded to return to the Grid. Do look at this sensibly. I've been on the Grid in the last few days and one thing was as crystal clear as that glass you're hugging. You have to work as a team and if Ruth had really hated you it would have caused so much difficulty you'd have been forced to transfer her. For that matter I assume that had she refused to come back to the Grid but wanted to stay with the service you could have fixed it."

Harry was exhausted and certainly in no mood to play ring of roses around his emotional past, but then had he ever been. Until Ruth had happened into his life Harry had been an enthusiastic exponent of direct action, particularly where women were concerned, so it was with a snap, reminiscent of his more combative mode that he asked, "What are you trying to say Jane?"

Jane proved more than willing to oblige him. "That she was probably shocked and initially angry with you. But while she may have heard the siren call of the familiar at a time when she was feeling personally dislocated she'd hardly have been persuaded to return to the Grid and stay if she really hated you. I don't get the impression that she was so malleable."

Harry allowed himself a sad smile, "I once called her a mule, she was so stubborn."

Inwardly Jane was rejoicing, she was slowly edging him towards a point of a pragmatic assessment, although the effort involved would make tiptoeing through eggshells a breeze in the future. She was trying desperately hard not to hurt him by operating a form of verbal smash and grab raid on his memories. Harsh words wouldn't work, he'd just blank them out. Her best strategy was to avoid what could be interpreted as full on assault, in favour of introducing a few fresh thoughts and then leave them to begin trickling their stately way through eardrum, to brain, to reasoning cortex. A slow process, which might just bear some fruit in a few weeks time, or maybe not, well at least she'd have tried.

"So I'd gathered. Tell me Harry did she ever have a long term relationship with any man."

Before he could protest ignorance, or even suggest that she was out of order with that question she added, "Humour me, I'm not being prurient, I do have a reason for asking. Especially since you mentioned that she lost her father when she was young, hence your worries about the age gap."

He'd give her that she'd paid close attention to everything he'd said. Even as he was reliving yet again the memories that hurt him it struck Harry that her interest in his failed romance almost verged on the forensic. With her stubborn refusal to accept that only he, and he alone, was responsible for the disaster under analysis he was forcibly reminded of the woman they were discussing. What was amazing him was that while parts of Jane's tone, especially when she thought he was prevaricating verged onto sharp, the angry reaction he'd anticipated seemed remarkably lacking. Anger might be virtually absent but the questioning glare from her eyes was forcing him into revelation.

"Various short term relationships. Nothing really lasting. Certainly nothing of significance until George."

"Who she met in exile under a form a legend when she was pretending to be a different person and after him..."

"Nothing. Except myself I suppose, and you know how that worked out."

"Yes preceded by reluctance as a starter, followed by anger fuelling the peculiar view that as you worked together you were together without needing to be together in any other way, and ultimately tailed by her claiming that the pair of you were never intended to have a life together."

Harry couldn't let this implied criticism of Ruth pass. "Well she was right wasn't she? She sacrificed so much for me, first by taking the blame for a murder so I could remain in post to defend the nation and then later she died saving me. I can never forgot that or get it out of my mind that she may not have believed me that we would have a life together. I'd not actually answered her proposition that we left the service together. I'd been so astonished by it that I could only smile, it was only as she was dying as a martyr to my stupidity that I actually made that promise."

Seeing the tears gathering once more in his eyes as he returned to his default position Jane considered it fortunate that she liked a challenge and didn't give up easily. Trying to keep the asperity out of her voice she backtracked to the core topic: Ruth's seeming inability to move beyond brief encounters.

"Harry I don't think you were the problem, at least not entirely. I'm wondering if Ruth subconsciously made either bad choices with men..."

"Thanks for that." Harry had recovered himself sufficiently to respond to insult.

Ignoring him Jane outlined her theory, "Or refused to become deeply involved because losing her father at such a young age made her feel deserted and angry, perhaps unworthy, or terrified of involvement because she was afraid that she'd end up hurt and deserted." Halting she risked a glance at Harry, half expecting a roar of refutation. Instead she seemed to have caught his intellectual attention, if the furrowed brow was anything judge by.

"I'm not trying to belittle the sacrifice she made in pretending to be dead, but it's interesting that the one sustained relationship she had seems to have had belonged to her legend, almost as if she was standing outside herself...sorry Harry I know you hate psychobabble...throw in the guilt and anger she'd feel at George's death, a proof that those she loved came to disaster, it may have intensified the strands of fear the existed before she went to Cyprus." She hesitated not entirely sure that she'd expressed her theory adequately before faltering. "I know this all sounds vague."

"On the contrary if I understand you correctly you are suggesting that the reason she refused to date and later to marry me was because she was frightened to commit for subconscious reasons, but at the same time because she loved me she couldn't walk away."

Jane just nodded. He'd grasped what she'd been striving to convey and with that minor victory in the bag she deemed it politic not to add that on the basis of his depiction of events he was dead right in his description of Ruth as a martyr. Jane was prepared to accept that the woman had suffered deeply. Nor did she doubt that the pair had loved one another with a form of desperate adoration, but that did not prevent her from suspecting that Ruth had probably rattled around the Grid shrouded in a permanent miasma of gloom, using the remarkable eyes that Harry had rhapsodised over to shoot out subliminal arrows of reproach; an endless punctuating reminder of all that she had sacrificed, reinforcing his perpetual guilt trip. Then, from his own mouth, Harry had admitted that the instant he'd tried to take some positive action to crawl out of his own despondent state by retiring from the Grid Ruth had played him, capitalising upon his overdeveloped sense of remorse, persuading him to do as she wished, all the while withholding any definite promise of succumbing to the more intimate relationship he craved. Hadn't he actually said that; that she had tried to use a relationship she refused to acknowledge as a lever to force him to discipline his Section Chief. The more Jane considered the matter she wondered if the bed rock foundation of the post Cyprus relationship was best characterised by love in the form of intellectual cock tease, in which one of the duo either deliberately,or more likely subconsciously, had exploited the unquestioning and virtually uncritical devotion of the other.

Harry however had discovered a flaw that made Jane's entire theory collapse, "But she finally planned for us to be together so that must be wrong. And that was despite her being furious at having to be the go-between to Elena."

"Well as I've stated earlier in this conversation she could have refused, although I assume she was so involved with you she might not have seen that as an option."

"No she wouldn't, although it was clear that she wasn't happy." Jane, in line with her earlier thoughts didn't say what she'd have liked, something along the lines of 'what a surprise.' Instead she postulated the final piece that had just fallen into place.

"Perhaps Elena was the reason for her deciding to change her mind." Harry was positively gawking at that suggestion. "You were still to some extent involved with the woman. Ruth no doubt knew what you are like about your children. It is just possible that she was worried that you might have a sense of responsibility to Elena so great that in a fit of misplaced duty you would dump her and ..."

Harry was quite definite. "That would never have happened."

Jane hurriedly clarified her insinuation, "But it's what she thought might happen that is important. I saw the pictures of Elena Gavrik, very glamorous, although in common with everyone of our vintage fading somewhat with age." Risking a sardonic quirk she reminded him, "Exes can be so troublesome, can they not."

Having by now picked up the vibe that if Ruth had been in the same room as Jane the best he could have hoped for would have been icy civility, Harry wasn't going to mention to Jane that meeting in that grey concretised multi-storey car park, during the course of which Ruth had confessed that the arrival of Elena had sparked a few jealous thoughts. He was desperate to refute most of her comments, yet trying to find the killer argument against much of what she'd suggested was difficult. Instead he returned to the nightmare that had haunted him, and always would, looking wrung out as he said with just the hint of a quiver,

"I just keep thinking if I'd been that couple of seconds quicker... as I've already said I don't even have the comfort of knowing that as she lay there dying she believed me when I said we would have a life together..." He ceased to speak. Compressing his lips to prevent dry sobs escaping.

"After her proposal and everything you'd gone through together I think Harry it is safe to assume that she did believe you...as for your being too slow...From what you told me you ordered Ruth back to the bunker. Harry can't you just try to get your head around the fact that if she'd listened to you, done what you'd asked she'd be alive, rather like you couldn't prevent her going into exile because she went ahead without reference to you."

Seeing his lips tighten with rising anger she hurriedly added with a vehemence that took them both by surprise, "I'm honestly not trying to do a hatch job here" 'okay honestly is a relative term' "But you do need to be realistic, you'd been starved, beaten up and I'd guess sleep deprived and then bumped around in a car boot followed by the whole interrogation and shocks delivered by Elena. Just how far were you in a fit state to fire on all cylinders, and again Ruth made her own decision. It was tragic, and I'm more sorry than I can say that it happened, but really it was an accident and just because Ruth died believing that she was not destined for happiness it doesn't follow that you are entirely to blame for that or anything else."

She half expected the Pearce roar of anger but instead he simply put his face into his hands before asking, "Why are you doing this Jane?"

Seeing it was her turn to look puzzled he explained, "Why try to excuse me and blame Ruth, she was right so often, if I'd listened to her in the first place she'd never have felt obliged to go to Cyprus, if I'd listened about Lucas North I'd not have given away a state secret – she was furious about that you know, angry because she thought I'd betrayed everything I stood for after seeing so many others die..."

Jane was biting back a few harsh words at that statement, after he'd put his career on the line and risked imprisonment, the best Ruth could do was bawl him out. Unfortunately open criticism of the woman would make Harry hostile and defensive, instantly undoing all her efforts to provide him with a fresh perspective on the events that were crushing him into a living grave. Whether she would ever have liked Ruth Evershed had they met was questionable, nor was that her immediate concern. Ruth was his past, as indeed was she, with one vital difference, she was the one who still breathed and was now faced with giving Harry an honest answer. And it had to be honest, he knew her too well to be fobbed off with anything less.

Quietly, but none the less emphatically, she gave her sincere reply. "Because I think you are in danger of forgetting the good times you had with Ruth by seeing everything through the prism of death. Because while I am sorrier than I can say that matters didn't work out I do think that you tried to act honourably and fairly. I'm sure Ruth thought she was acting for the best in many ways but while you made mistakes in ignoring her I'd just like you to consider that perhaps she made some as well along the way." Before he could open his mouth to argue she concluded with, "And amazing as it sounds because I care and I don't like seeing you in this state."

That final sentence stymied the protest Harry had been about to make. Instead he replied slowly, "Well at least you've stopped short of exhorting me to move on from her death claiming that that would be what Ruth would have wanted.

Jane produced one of her customary snorts. "It's all too easy to put your own desires into the mouth of the dead although I'm sure that she probably wouldn't have wanted you carted off to America, you did say she was in tears at the prospect." Taking a breath she came out with a further chunk of surprising advice, "As for telling you to move on, in general that is absolute rubbish advice, you don't wake up one morning and think 'I'll move on today' it's not a conscious process, you just gradually become accustomed, it's like time heals – mainly by you learning to live with a situation once the rawness passes off. Realistically some part of you will always mourn, regret..."

Wondering what she would say about his initial impulse after Ruth's death Harry admitted, "I've sometimes thought I should have retired when it happened, move to the cottage she'd planned to buy."

"Just as well you didn't, then you'd really have been mess." Coming from the woman who'd begged him once to leave the service this was astounding. Jane having clocked his amazement informed him, "When I was confronted with the joyous combination of Robin's adultery, Rebecca's cancer and Graham's sulking it was mainly work that kept me sane. The Victorian idea of a year in mourning was fundamentally sound even if they did overdo the black crepe and jet jewellery. It gets you over the 'this time last year' hump of memory. As for living in the cottage. Harry you'd have either gone mad with regret or boredom. I do think though that you ought to consider what you will do when you finally have to retire – use your work principle of having an exit strategy.

Harry smiled, "Advice worth taking I will admit." Continuing conversationally he added, "I really thought you'd be angry."

"About you falling in love with another woman! I'm more amazed it took you so long, but don't get too complacent, the confession about Ruth didn't make me steam but..." her voice raised slightly "Elena is a different matter."

"Jane I was deceived and I know now it was infatuation, the excitement..." He halted realising that the flip side of that statement was that he'd begun to find Jane boring. She wasn't slow to pick up the intimation.

"Yes compared to the joys of domesticity I don't suppose she had much competition. Just don't tell me it was only sex and therefore didn't matter because that particular little liaison did endless damage to us as a family."

Harry was preparing to defend himself against this attack from a wholly unexpected angle. "Us as a couple yes I can accept that, but Catherine was a baby and oblivious."

"I wasn't thinking about Catherine, it was the damage to Graham that makes me fume." Harry was looking particularly confused as she lashed into him, "You became remote from me for months and then later when we had Graham... The shadowy presence of a child, specifically a son, you couldn't see and just imagine... so whenever Graham kicked off..."

"But I never..."

Jane in a tired voice broke across his protest. "Harry I know you love Graham, have done your best for him and always will, but can you truthfully tell me that you didn't often look at Graham and think about your other son, have some sort of 'might have been' perfect image of the child you could never know."

Harry just shook his head, also too weary to argue. "The irony I tried to protect Sasha as my son and he ended up killing Ruth, and if you are to be believed, haunted Graham unknowingly. Again I should have listened to Ruth, she told me I should take Sasha out of the picture and I refused. That's when I had to confess to his parentage."

Jane bit her tongue while privately considering that this comment spoke volumes about the much vaunted humanity of Ruth Evershed, obviously not above considering cold blooded murder, or some similar option, to suit her own ends. Preferring to operate on the cliché that, in this instance, less was definitely more, she answered laconically,

"Since Sasha could be your son it was probably as well you eschewed that particular piece of advice."

That a theory too far causing Harry to expostulate, "No Elena said..." He got no further as Jane interrupted scornfully,

"Elena said, Elena said a great many things most of which were proven to be lies. From what you told me I gather that she was trying to goad you, break you, do you really think she'd hesitate to lie about her son's parentage again."

"But Ilya..."

"I'm assuming she was sleeping with both of you at the relevant time. As a business man Ilya should be capable of counting to nine. I'm not saying Sasha is yours Harry, just that Elena's should be the last word you accept on anything."

"I know she endlessly deceived me, yet another of my misjudgements."

Heading off a fresh bout of self pity Jane's reaction was forthright. "Well considering that Ilya Gavrik was married to her for over thirty years and never suspected that she was a double agent, and since he is clearly not a fool or easily deceived I don't think you should be blaming yourself too far. Has Ilya checked Sasha's DNA?"

"I don't know. He might not want to for the reason you've just given, he lost enough that day. In any case Ilya has been a good father to him. Not an easy row to hoe, since Sasha can't come to terms with anything that happened and simply refuses to acknowledge Ilya."

Harry, seeing her curiosity was caught thought he might as well explain the post estuary epilogue to her, at least it would avoid any further smudging of Ruth's memory.

"Neither government could afford to allow the group she was working for to remain, equally neither could be seen to take action so while the Kremlin turned a blind eye Ilya organised access for Tom to er..."

"Let me guess revenge for Ruth..."

"And also what they had done to Elena. Ilya might have hated her at the end but..."

"Like you a patriot. Although Harry after what you've told me and with a quick guess at Elena's probable fate when she returned to Russia I'm almost tempted to see Ilya's action in strangling her as a mercy killing." Harry just shot her a look of disbelief forcing her to amend that statement to, "Well at least in part."

Glancing at the kitchen clock Jane realised that the witching hour was approaching as she stood up and held out her hand for his empty glass.

"I'll wash up and then I really do need to pack."

Ignoring her first gesture as he poured himself another generous measure Harry informed her, "It's okay you go and pack." As she made to move he called her back, "Just one question Jane. Only fair after the grilling you've given me"

It was Jane's turn to feel apprehensive. "Yes."

""What happens now – to us I mean."

"I think we both need to sleep on that one."

Noting her adamant face Harry substituted a plea for a polite request. "Well at least allow me to see you to the station tomorrow."

With a nod of assent Jane departed leaving Harry seated alone with the whisky bottle, the full glass and his thoughts. He wasn't entirely sure what to make of the various theories she'd advanced, she'd never met Ruth and therefore much of what she said could be discounted and yet...why the devil had he found it so hard to contradict her. As he reviewed the last couple of hours he suddenly became aware that a weight had lifted, he felt lighter somehow, less oppressed. If nothing else he felt better for no longer having to conceal from her those odd moments when his mind strayed into the past.

Swilling his whisky around the glass, as he inhaled its peaty aroma, he moved on from immediate relief into pondering what Jane had said. Stripping out the perceived criticism of Ruth, observation of other divorced couples suggested that the ex rarely approached his or her replacement in a spirit of friendship, - he'd made no bones about loathing Robin – Harry was forced to consider that some of what she had implied did ring true, although if Ruth was damaged so to was he. He'd been so conscious of the utter mess he'd made of his marriage he'd hesitated when perhaps he should have been more assertive. He failed to be assertive because every personal relationship he'd attempted had fallen apart and Ruth was too important to risk through ill advised implusiveness. Swallowing the last drops of his drink he sighed. For years he'd wondered what to do about Ruth but contemplating tomorrow he realised that the landscape had transmuted somewhat. Now he was uncertain what to do about Jane. Standing up and rinsing the glasses under a running tap, as the water splashed into the sink he ran his mind through the varied advice she'd given him, and decided in retrospect that the last piece was the best. He might as well head upstairs and sleep on it.

Thanks for reading. I'm not sure if this is the penultimate chapter, but two more will be the maximum.