Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

Fluffometer: Fluffy enough. A laid back chapter and strictly Hitsuhina. Please reread after a couple of days, I'm sure to change some things.

Dedicate Instrumental: Baleen Morning by Balmorhea. It's so perrrfect. :')

A/N: *Flinch*. Don't hit me. Sorry so late and I won't ramble on with the excuses either. Thank you for keeping up with me. Please review.

WATASHI NO KOKORO

…...

Chapter 53

…...

He could see the clearing up ahead. Catching glimpses of it in between spaces of the overgrown fountain grass. One of its fluffy tips slipped into his mouth while he was busy making a path through the thick vegetation.

Momo turned to watch the ruffling of the tall and slender stalks as her ornery best friend made his way towards her. She giggled when she heard him hacking and spitting out the scraps of grass. Pffft! Pwuh...Pwuh!

"Hurry up shorty. I haven't got all day." She taunted.

"Shut up...oi, why are we here anyway?"

"I wanted to show you something."

Toushiro finally came out looking more annoyed than usual while he dusted off his shirt. He climbed and stood next to Hinamori, who was already sitting on top of the hill with her legs outstretched.

"What is it?"

"Tsk. Your finger is bleeding Shiro-chan!" He sat when she tugged him down, fussing over his hand.

"Geez, it's not that bad–"

Momo had clamped her lips over his finger, and sucked to stop the bleeding. She then untied one of her side ponytails using the narrow strip as a bandage...

"There. Good as new."

"Huh. That was kind of...gross." Wiggling his injured finger in front of him. Not too sure what to make of it, though extremely pleased –Toushiro grinned. "Thanks."

"So anyway, what I wanted to show you is that over there. A closer view."

"Sereitei, home of the Gotei 13? We can see this from the city's rooftops, Bed-wetter." Their way of killing time when Oba-saan brings them along to the market.

"I know, but not this close. Look, we can even see some of them train!" Her face becoming enthralled, delighted from discovering this secret place.

"Yeah, so?"

"Remember Shiro-chan, when you asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up?"

"Ah. A dancer, a ballerina or something." A much better answer to his 'Eh. No clue.' when she had asked him the same question.

"Hai. Well, that's what I thought would sound normal for a girl. Demo...you're not going to laugh at me are you, if I tell you what I really want to be?"

Toushiro immediately noticed that serious set in her brown eyes along with that fist laid just over her heart. "I won't know it's funny until you tell me, baka."

Her fist unclench to slap him on the arm. "Mou...stop being so mean."

"Well stop making me guess."

"...It's been my dream to join The Gotei 13. For a while now...tell me again, Shiro-chan. What they do."

"They're in charge of preserving humanity. Protecting it even in the afterlife –the shinigami code. It's why we're here." Toushiro lightened the subject and regarded her profile to wryly add, "That's too much responsibility for someone who wets the bed."

Unfazed, Momo continued. "Preservation...I like that. You know how you always say that I worry far too much about other people, Shiro-chan? So being a shinigami would be perfect don't you agree?"

Thinking that maybe this is just one of her silly make-believe phase, like being a princess for a day or even a monkey (where they had recently spent the entire day up in the trees, and still sporting the scuff marks on his elbows and knees to prove it) Toushiro just nodded.

"I don't think it's what I want to be but it's what I am meant to be."

"...It's getting dark, Momo. The old woman will start to get worried."

"What about you Shiro-chan, have you decided?" ...

He lied down on the grass, swinging his arms behind his head. "Nope."

She studied the boy, who was utterly mindless of how wild his hair looked. She smiled at him. "Who knows, you might want to join me someday, ne?"

"Yah. Right."

They stayed there a little while longer for Momo had took on that dazed expression once again, lost in her thoughts as she stared at the prominent structure up ahead. So lost as to not notice the boy openly admiring her face...

…

…

…

….

Unobstructed by the clouds, the crescent moon served as a sufficient source of light as Momo quietly entered the unlit bedroom and trekked towards her vanity. She sat down and removed her earrings first then carefully opened a drawer to grab the soft-bristled brush. She didn't put it down until her hair gave off a nice healthy sheen ridding off all the tangles in her long hair, so to make it easier to manage after taking a shower.

Her shoulders sagged unemphatically as she got up to face the full length mirror by the window. Not really looking forward to take on this task of disentangling her obi. I don't understand how Rangiku-san can do this almost every night...

She folded her sleeves up to the elbows and reached behind her. The tip of her tongue visible on the upper corner of her mouth as she's intent in trying to finagle with the intricately tied bow.

His large cool hands firmly settled over hers, stalling her progress.

"Shiro-chan!" Momo exclaimed though in a hush. "What are you doing awake?"

"Tch. Stay still, baka."

"Shiro–"

"Why are you whispering?"

"Oh. Well I thought you were... asleep." Her voice coming out normal on the last word then bit her bottom lip to keep from snorting, realizing her faux pas.

And it was just silent while Hitsugaya unfastened one knot after the other.

Hinamori sighed out of relief as she was being freed from the constraints. All this time she kept watch on her husband's reflection and noticed that his usual frown isn't as distinct. Maybe because of the dark…hmm…always so serious...and so wickedly gorgeous. She sighed yet again.

He was on the last knot when he looked past over her head and at the mirror. Their eyes held in the reflection.

"Thank you."

Toushiro nodded. "Goodnight, Momo."

"Uhm. I ah...I had fun tonight."

He stayed where he was, his expression unreadable. It's been days since she last addressed him, wanting to actually talk to him that this acknowledgment was a surprise.

"I'm glad. That you did."

Momo started to fiddle with her unraveled obi before looking up again. "Demo... it would have been better if you were there." A shy smile tugging on her lips. "I caught myself a few times looking over my shoulder –searching for you...kinda silly of me, isn't it?"

…"You forgot, I wasn't really on top of the guest list."

She could hear it in his voice when he thinks something is amusing. "Hm. It took me awhile...although you missed out on one thing."

"What, Matsumoto declared to live in sobriety?"

She shook her head, smiling. "No. Rukia and Abarai-taicho finally got engaged! Can you believe it?" Her fists tucked under her chin from sheer joy.

"It's about time."

All her recent reservations forgotten, Hinamori turned and wrapped her arms around his waist staring up at him with twinkling brown eyes. "Yes! Oh, I can picture it already...their wedding is going to be so beautiful Shiro-chan!"

Toushiro was just quiet as he held her radiant face. Not at all minding that the clock indicated it's well past three in the morning. She was curious to see the taicho's mouth slanting as if he just found something funny all of a sudden. Her head inclined to the side and asked, "What?"

"...For a second there you looked exactly like Zennyu. That certain face he makes when he's fully content. Having just finished two bottles of milk."

"Hmmm... He's a greedy little one isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is. I wonder... where he gets it from..." He subtly tilted her chin up so their lips could touch for a brief yet chaste kiss.

"I'm sorry I'm late coming home, Shiro-chan."

He disregarded her apology. "I'm used to it."

She laughed and tipped her toes to kiss him again. A little too passionately this time that her vision remained hazy even when Toushiro held back, just noticing something. "Baka Momo...how much did you drink?"

"Hmm? Ano...just a couple of shots…or more. I couldn't resist all the pressure. Why?"

"I can taste it."

"Mou...I'm sorry." Hinamori withdrew. Recalling how she almost gagged at the taste, and still cringed from the mere memory.

Toushiro quickly interjected. "No, it's not unpleasant. I kind of like it." Thinking to himself that he would fast develop a problem if sake tasted like this. He leaned down again to resume the kiss but she had turned away and sauntered towards the bathroom.

"I have to take a shower."

Hitsugaya clenched one of his hands out of frustration. Nice. For ruining the mood. Aware of how he's been feeling bereft as of late; much too keen of the empty space every time she eludes him. He almost apologized for those words that originally made her act like this but immediately changed his mind. He couldn't take those words back. He'd be lying if he did.

"Shiro-chan."

"Hn." He didn't bother looking, already making his way back to the bed.

"You can join me if you want."

The suggestion was said just slightly above a whisper, but Hitsugaya heard it all the same. And he watched while the kimono slowly slid off of her shoulders. The light fabric rustled against her smooth skin as it pooled around her feet. Her undergarments soon followed...

She took a lithe step over the pile of feminine clothes and cast him a sideways glance before going into the bathroom.

Leaving the door wide open.

...

...

Hinamori woke up with her head underneath the pillows; groaning. She steadily raised herself up, cautious not to move her tottering head.

Knock* Knock* Knock*

"What?" She didn't mean to sound so annoyed.

The girl peeked in. "Ah...I was instructed to bring you your lunch in bed, Hitsugaya-sama."

In bed? Wait... "Lunch?" She's presently limited to one-worded statements it seems. Her eyes darted to the clock. 1:30pm?

"Eto...hai, Hitsugaya-sama. Or I can bring it back later if–"

"It's fine Chizumi-san. You can just put it here." Momo indicated the bedside table, somewhat a little resigned.

The girl meekly entered, her blue eyes widened as it roved over the expanse of the room; her first time being inside this lavish chamber.

Ikuye-san was right. This room is fit for royalty.Referring to a comment made by a co-worker, who's the one in charge of the lady's wardrobe.

"Chizumi-san?"

"Hai, Hitsugaya-sama." She snapped out of it and proceeded to bring the tray of food by Hinamori.

"Can I ask you a big favor?"

"Hai, hai Hitsugaya-sama."

"If...if you can please stop addressing me with that honorific."

The maid was caught off guard. Not once has she ever been asked to do such a thing in her three decades of servitude. "Ah–hai. Hitsugaya...san. As you wish."

Happy to be finally relieved of that rigid title, Momo gave her a warm smile and relaxed back on the fluffy pillow. Though closing her eyes and inwardly winced when her head started to throb from the slight motion...cursing the jackass that invented sake.

The maid blushed to now just realize the master's young wife state of undress. The lady was in the middle of the large bed twisted in the white sheets with one of her legs fully exposed. Her hair in disarray and there was a red mark just above her half-covered breasts. Meaning only one thing...

She cleared her throat after setting the tray down, quickly turning away to pick up the scattered clothes on the floor while her head was bowed, trying to hide her red cheeks as she made her way out of there but then kicked herself to have just remembered.

"Ano...Hitsugaya-san..."

"Yes?"

"The children have already been tended to. They're both asleep at the moment."

"Of course. Thank you, Chizumi-san."

...

Momo was alone once again. The afternoon light streaming in through the windows was too harsh for her eyes that she covered her face with a pillow.

Ack. I hate sake…but how can one refuse if you have both Soifon-taicho and Yourichi-san taunting you to drink it? Then there's Rukia who kept giving me that puppy-eyed look, urging me to have a toast since she will only be engaged just this once... Boke Momo. That's the last time I drink.

It made her delirious, making her lose some of her inhibitions. Hence, her present disoriented state. Although Momo had to admit, it was nice to get out. Remembering how Hisagi-taicho comically performed his series of magic tricks trying to impress the crowd (or one person in particular). Though the captain was so inebriated that he lost his prop rabbit and just ended it with a "Our friend Abarai Renji, the most sought out bachelor for the past decade–aside from myself of course –is fucking getting married!" Which everyone loudly cheered and raised their cups to.

However, the next following hour when everyone seemed to have slowed down from all the drinking, the conversations took on a serious turn. Talks of being in recent battles, seat promotions, demotions etc… They were interesting at first but it slowly dawned on Hinamori that she couldn't relate to them anymore. And eventually just felt awkward as everyone became absorbed in their work-related stories.

She remembered her strayed attention being held at seeing the trembling rabbit. It has wedged its body against the corner, the whites of its eyes visible. Momo's heart went out to the the little thing as she slowly picked it up.

Barely had the short hand of the clock pointed midnight when she'd quietly left the restaurant to head home.

...

She could feel the officers following her, yet their presence started to slacken as Hinamori wandered off into the nearby woods and sat under a tree; needing a moment to be alone. The moment lasted for two hours however while she softly stroked the bunny's ears, gazing at the stars...

It's been unfair of me. So inconsiderate of what he had to go through... Momo recalled the despair in Toushiro's eyes when she awoke from the coma. It's there sometimes, deep within those aquamarine depths. Haunting him still.

She sighed, feeling her defenses crumbling. He just wants to keep us safe. Too safe. But she knew there was no way out of it as his actions were truly justified. Momo kissed the now purring rabbit and set it on the grass. It was hesitant to leave the comfort of her arms, looking at her one last time before hopping away...

An unprecedented sense of peace overcame her as she watched it go further into the dark, far away from her grasp. She smiled to herself.

I guess some things are just meant to be let go...

...

...

...

That sweet rush of adrenaline prickling in the pit of his stomach. Hitsugaya stood at the top of the mountain, his breath steady and frosted while he admiringly scanned the view. The snow perfectly soft and pristine, just begging for an impression.

He put his black-glossed goggles back on and slightly turned his body to the side, aligning it with the snowboard before taking a big leap unto the steep decline. Toushiro was in his zone, making it seem effortless as he gracefully carved perfectly shaped 's's against the fresh powder. Its sound was like music; a swishing harmony conducted by his board.

He closed his eyes for a moment and immersed himself in this favorite sport. Though he abruptly had to open them when a tree suddenly loomed right before him. He didn't have time to dodge as he glided straight into it.

*THWACK*

He heard Momo's voice from a distance. "Koko-chan, leave your father alone. He's sleeping."

Toushiro's eyes slowly opened, he looked up and it was much like staring into a mirror –except that hers were upside down. The baby had crawled over to his face, wanting to wake him up. She used her forehead this time to clunk it against his head.

"Ow." He winced which made her beam even more. "Come here, you." He grabbed the baby and made her sit on his chest. The dark-haired chibi was bouncing and clapping her tiny hands together from seeing him awake. He couldn't help from chuckling now that she had smushed her cheek unto his face, giving him a hug.

Momo giggled, she was lying on her side turned the other way and was now looking over her shoulder. "Sorry. She's been adamant on trying to wake you. She won't even sit still to listen to me read... Unlike my good boy over here. Yes, I'm talking about you!"

They were on a blanket under the shade of the giant tree by the river. Taking advantage of the captain's day off since he's been very busy lately. And so was Momo. A month and some weeks had passed and the twins have become such avid crawlers, getting into just everything and anything once they've realized their freedom.

Zennyu had sat up from hearing his sister's giggle, his hair tufted up from just lying down. He slowly crawled over Momo to get to his father who was loudly pretending to chomp on Kokone's neck. Though the white-haired chibi was abruptly distracted by a splashing sound as a large fish had jumped out into the surface, twirling once then dove back into the water. Its glistening scales reflected the golden light capturing the boy's attention and eventually changing his course towards something more interesting. KoKone noticed it too and scrambled to race after her brother –not wanting to miss out on anything.

"Zennyu-chan, don't push your sister!"

Momo had started to stand and catch up to them when her arm was grabbed and was urged to stay down. Hitsugaya let go when she settled on her side to face him. He was focused on the heart-shaped pendant dangling from around her neck. He held it, slowly twisting it around in his hand. "I placed a seal around the water so don't fret."

"Oh. Okay. Hm...what is it?" She was curious to see him perturbed despite trying to look nonchalant. His eyes were intent when he glanced up.

"Have dinner with me. Tonight if you can."

"I can't. I have to meet with Rukia, to help go over their guest list."

"Their wedding isn't until October Momo –in five months."

"That's not that much time. It's a huge wedding Shiro-chan, and the seating chart alone have to be carefully arranged since the nobles can't be in the same–"

"Let me see the list. I'll help figure it out."

"Huh? No, Shiro-chan! You've enough work on your hands."

He continued to analyze her with that unwavering stare causing Momo to smile at him questioningly. She moved forward, seizing his lips in an all-too-alluring kiss. Hitsugaya backed away, yet with their foreheads still touching. His eyes remained closed while the furrows by the white brows were pulled closer together.

"Toushiro ano...what's wrong?"

It took him a moment, he smiled that lopsided smile then shook his head. "Nothing."

And she was about to prod him about it when Kokone bursted out crying. Momo had the girl in her arms within an instant.

"Shhh...my baby...what happened?" Hinamori waited until the infant's sobs quieted before peering down at the culprit by her feet. She wagged her finger disapprovingly. "Hitsugaya Zennyu...you cannot do that, okay? No. Uh-uh."

The white-haired devil had a finger in his mouth, innocently looking up at his mother with an expression that clearly said, 'What, what did I do?'

...

...(Song for this scene: Find it In Me by William Fitzsimmons. X) )

...

Two days later...

The doors swiftly parted as Momo rushed in and strided over to her large closet, yanking it open.

Crap. Where did I put my favorite shawl? I could have sworn...getting a little frustrated since tonight is considered a special night. Their first date in weeks! They were going to a restaurant and have a leisure walk across town.

Her lips pursed trying to remember where she put it last while her hands sorted through the hanged dresses, making sure that it wasn't lodged in between. Although suddenly coming to a halt as her fingers slowly glided down the familiar black fabric... her shihakuso. Then instinctively reached for her katana which was hidden just behind the uniform.

Tobiume...

She wasn't aware of how long she just stood there, tracing her finger over and back between the hilt and its hexagonal guard.

...

Toushiro cleared his throat and tried again. "Momo."

"...Hmm?"

"Are you ready?"

Her face now half-visible as she slowly closed the closet. Her brown eyes were a little sad before she blinked it away, coming back to reality. The momentary lapse was completely wiped off when she smiled; brightening the porcelain face.

"Hai." She replied, forgetting what she had searched for in the first place.

…

"Have I mentioned how ravishing you look?" Admiring the cream kimono with the orange-red koi fish design, making her do a slow twirl while they held hands. They've just finished dinner and were now on their way to the quiet town west of Rukongai, where the pair had grown up.

"Twice, on the way here. And again just but a few minutes ago." She tried not to laugh since they've already exchanged compliments earlier before dinner. Hinamori's heartrate had soared when she saw him dressed in the navy kimono with the light gray obi. So unused to seeing him in such a form.

"Huh. Must have slipped my mind."

Momo rolled her eyes. "Impossible."

...

...

Dusk had set over the skies as Hitsugaya half-attentively paid the vendor for the fresh roasted amannato. Leisurely popping the beans in his mouth while he surveyed the horizon.

He looked over his shoulder to check on Momo, who was browsing through a toy store that she excitedly wanted to check out. Allowing her more time as he reverted his attention back to watching the stars slowly appear.

The bean he had just swallowed almost came back out when Momo suddenly jumped on his back. Her arms (with some shopping bags) and legs wrapped around him from behind –leaving him no choice but to give her a piggy back ride.

"I want some, Shiro-chan. Aaah..." Opening her mouth so he can throw one in. She laughed when he purposely aimed one on her forehead. "Stop it! Give me one or I'll bite your ear off."

Momo happily chewed when he obliged, kissing his cheek right after. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bed-wetter." He grinned when she playfully nipped his earlobe. They went off course, away from the main bustle of the town as Toushiro secured Momo on his back while she fed him his favorite treat all the while...

"I bought the twins some toys." She indicated her bags.

"Because they don't have enough?" He asked with a brow arched. The nursery looks like a store in itself.

"No. It's because they get bored with the regular ones. Koko gets fussy and throws them away while Zenny just completely destroys them. But it's different with puzzles–"

"We need to do something about your son. He's getting out of hand."

Momo snorted. "My son? Who happens to take after your temper taicho...eh? Where are you taking us, Shiro-chan?" Noticing that they're not en route towards home.

"By that bench over there."

"Why?"

"Because you're getting quite heavy, and my arms are starting to hurt."

"Aww...mean!"

"I'm kidding Momo, geez. I just wanted to stop for a minute; it's still a little early to go home." He lowered himself to set her down on the seat. Hitsugaya turned and smiled to see her still eating the beans, her legs childishly swinging. Without moving from his position Toushiro fished out something from inside his shirt and handed it to her.

"Here."

Momo was scrutinizing his face while she set the shopping bags and the amanatto aside before taking the small square gift, wrapped in red silk.

"What is it?"

He kneeled closer and held her waist; urging her to just open it. The silk easily slid off the object right after she untied the attached ribbon. Revealing her fifth squad insignia arm badge.

"I had a new one made."

…"What's the meaning of this, Toushiro?"

"I couldn't take it away from you, love."

"...but what about...I thought..."

He chuckled. "My hair was meant to be white from worrying about you, Momo –that will never change. But…Aizen–the only person who meant you harm–is now locked up and your bankai has indeed stabilized... I've weighed out all the reasons."

…"Thank you, Shiro-chan."

Hitsugaya sighed and placed his head on her lap. "I will, however, have a say on the duration and what missions you would be assigned..."

Tears of silent joy fell in drops, skimming down her flawless cheeks. "Yes, yes of course you would." Hinamori just nodded, combing her hand through the back of his head as he continued.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't find it in me despite my better judgment, to take it away from you. To rather have your safety compromised and see you happy were the most insane choices I had to make. " It was hard to let her get reinstated but it killed him to see that wistful gleam in her eyes when she thinks no one is watching. It was her dream... He peered up to look into her brown eyes and wiped the wet streaks that marred her beautiful face. "I'm sorry. For being a selfish ass."

She pressed her fingers against his lips. "No…don't be Shiro-chan. I'm sorry for I was the one being selfish." He shook his head, not wanting to accept her apology.

Momo decided to just support his decision that was apparently so hard for him to make. "But I promise to be safe. And I'm happy Toushiro, I've told you already. The children remind me of how blessed I am everyday! So I guess…I guess you could say that I'm happier."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

...

A/N: Yes. Rabbits purr. I've owned three. X) Have patience with me, chapter 54 to come. And please review...